Support NeoGAF

[Estellex]

You know "those people", that talks for a prolonged period of time while I am reduced to nodding. They are very articulated. An example would be the people in job fairs. It is like they are giving a mini-presentation than actually having a human conversation.

I lose focus after a while and I don't know how to commit to the conversation.

Any tips?

 

[Razorback]

A while back, I wrote an article called How to Talk to Strangers, in which I discussed techniques of politely talking with strangers without looking like a creep. One thing I didn't touch on in that episode was the fact that it’s totally not okay to talk to people non-stop until smoke comes out of their ears. The person who does this is referred to as the “Over Talker.” The Over Talker loves (I mean, LOOOOOOVES!) to talk about anything, any time, anywhere, with anyone. Maybe they like to hear their own voice, or maybe they find you to be just super-duper interesting. As much as I wish latter was true, I'm sorry to burst your bubble – it’s more likely the former. So before you get stuck listening to the Over Talker ramble on and on, check out my top 3 Quick and Dirty Tips for escaping the Over Talker: The great Muhammad Ali once said, “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee,” to describe his in-ring fighting style. He toyed around with opponents by floating like a butterfly around them, then WHAMOhe’d sting them with a punch. I think about this saying when i get stuck listening to an Over Talker who will not leave me alone.This mentality is not rude, folks. You have to remember that the Over Talkers does not have your best interest in mind. In fact, the Over Talker is a pretty selfish species. The Over Talker does not care if you’re in a rush, busy, or even interested in what they have to say - their mission is to talk to you until their needs are met. And because of this, you have to stay on your toes and not allow yourself to get caught up in their web. In other words, float like a butterfly and fly, fly away.See also: How to Escape from an Awkward Conversation As much as I love Ali’s saying, I’m not advising the “sting” part though. It’s the floating and moving that is key to avoiding an annoying Over Talker. - unless the Over Talker is your boss, and by walking away you will look insubordinate. However, your time is valuable, and boss or no boss, you have things to do too. This is when you float.Give the Over Talker (or anyone else) a window of your time – that’s simply being a good, conscientious person. But once you start to realize that you're stuck, start to float. If you’re at your desk, look through papers, hop online for email, or search (for anything) on your desk like you’re frustrated and busy. You can keep your answers limited to “Yes… Uh-huh… Sure…” but make yourself active. If they don’t take that hint, get up and start to walk around the office or cube to “look for something important.” This is how you float. It’s an act, yes, but it’s key to making the Over Talker realize – without having to say it to their face – that you have other things to do that don't involve listening to them. The movie Moneyball tells the story of the underdog Oakland Athletics baseball team and its general manager Billy Beane played by Brad Pitt. Not only is this movie a fantastic example of believing in yourself, it also has one of my all time favorite quotes about business deals. When Beane and his assistant GM are negotiating a trade with another team on the phone, Beane tells his assistant GM, "If you get the answer you're looking for, hang up.”The Over Talker will want to elaborate, ask more questions, or tell you about their highest score on Candy Crush. The assistant GM is shocked by this. He's concerned that he will look rude to the person on the other end. But Beane’s point is that once you get your answer, you need to act on your next steps immediately, and there is no time for small talk. After all, time is money, right? But to the Over Talker, time is well…endless! For example, say you need to know the name of a contact that only the Over Talker possesses. Fearing a long, drawn-out conversation, you pick up the phone, dreading the result. But, like Beane said, once you get your answer, hang up. For example, “Hey Bob, real quick, who’s our marketing contact at XYZ Company?” And after Bob tells you it’s Mary Jones, you quickly say, "All right, thanks very much. Good-bye, Bob." See, the Over Talker (Bob) will want to elaborate, ask more questions, or tell you about their highest score on Candy Crush. Before they can dwell on unimportant details, tell the Over Talker that you appreciate their time and you’ll catch up soon, when you’re out of the weeds. Don’t even wait for them to say, “Wait, one more thing!” because A) It never is just one more thing and B) You have your answer and now it’s time to take care of business. Here you show appreciation for their help but also let the Over Talker know you have more things on your plate, other than how well they did in the softball game last week. As I said in Tip #2, after you get your answer, politely hang up. You are doing this, mainly because you are too busy for small talk (or long talk, in the Over Talker’s case). When you’re in a rush, or have more things on your plate, timing is of the essence. Even though the Over Talker seems to have an open calendar when it comes to wasting time, there is the possibility that at some point, they will be busy too. With what, I have no idea. Probably having to make up for all the work they missed while blabbing! But when you actually need the help of the Over Talker, you need to choose your moment wisely. Knowing the Over Talker is going to corner you with nonsense, make sure choose to talk to the Over Talker when they have something coming up. When you need a quick answer from them, check their calendar and see when they have a meeting. Ten or so minutes before, hop by their desk, or drop them a line and ask the question you need to. And when you say thank you, also show your appreciation by telling them, “I know you have a meeting in a couple of minutes, so thanks for your time. We’ll catch up later.” Then, as I said in Tip #1, float off into the sunset. Do you have a great story about an Over Talker? Post all the details in the comment section below. As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.com. Follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT, and of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips for a more polite life. I'm going to feel very bad if any of you actually read all the way through. Even I didn't read any of it, I just googled the topic and copied the first article I clicked. Sorry for wasting your time!

 

[ipukespiders]

LOL.

 

[Skyr]

A while back, I wrote an article called How to Talk to Strangers, in which I discussed techniques of politely talking with strangers without looking like a creep. One thing I didn't touch on in that episode was the fact that it’s totally not okay to talk to people non-stop until smoke comes out of their ears. The person who does this is referred to as the “Over Talker.” The Over Talker loves (I mean, LOOOOOOVES!) to talk about anything, any time, anywhere, with anyone. Maybe they like to hear their own voice, or maybe they find you to be just super-duper interesting. As much as I wish latter was true, I'm sorry to burst your bubble – it’s more likely the former. So before you get stuck listening to the Over Talker ramble on and on, check out my top 3 Quick and Dirty Tips for escaping the Over Talker: The great Muhammad Ali once said, “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee,” to describe his in-ring fighting style. He toyed around with opponents by floating like a butterfly around them, then WHAMOhe’d sting them with a punch. I think about this saying when i get stuck listening to an Over Talker who will not leave me alone.This mentality is not rude, folks. You have to remember that the Over Talkers does not have your best interest in mind. In fact, the Over Talker is a pretty selfish species. The Over Talker does not care if you’re in a rush, busy, or even interested in what they have to say - their mission is to talk to you until their needs are met. And because of this, you have to stay on your toes and not allow yourself to get caught up in their web. In other words, float like a butterfly and fly, fly away.See also: How to Escape from an Awkward Conversation As much as I love Ali’s saying, I’m not advising the “sting” part though. It’s the floating and moving that is key to avoiding an annoying Over Talker. - unless the Over Talker is your boss, and by walking away you will look insubordinate. However, your time is valuable, and boss or no boss, you have things to do too. This is when you float.Give the Over Talker (or anyone else) a window of your time – that’s simply being a good, conscientious person. But once you start to realize that you're stuck, start to float. If you’re at your desk, look through papers, hop online for email, or search (for anything) on your desk like you’re frustrated and busy. You can keep your answers limited to “Yes… Uh-huh… Sure…” but make yourself active. If they don’t take that hint, get up and start to walk around the office or cube to “look for something important.” This is how you float. It’s an act, yes, but it’s key to making the Over Talker realize – without having to say it to their face – that you have other things to do that don't involve listening to them. The movie Moneyball tells the story of the underdog Oakland Athletics baseball team and its general manager Billy Beane played by Brad Pitt. Not only is this movie a fantastic example of believing in yourself, it also has one of my all time favorite quotes about business deals. When Beane and his assistant GM are negotiating a trade with another team on the phone, Beane tells his assistant GM, "If you get the answer you're looking for, hang up.”The Over Talker will want to elaborate, ask more questions, or tell you about their highest score on Candy Crush. The assistant GM is shocked by this. He's concerned that he will look rude to the person on the other end. But Beane’s point is that once you get your answer, you need to act on your next steps immediately, and there is no time for small talk. After all, time is money, right? But to the Over Talker, time is well…endless! For example, say you need to know the name of a contact that only the Over Talker possesses. Fearing a long, drawn-out conversation, you pick up the phone, dreading the result. But, like Beane said, once you get your answer, hang up. For example, “Hey Bob, real quick, who’s our marketing contact at XYZ Company?” And after Bob tells you it’s Mary Jones, you quickly say, "All right, thanks very much. Good-bye, Bob." See, the Over Talker (Bob) will want to elaborate, ask more questions, or tell you about their highest score on Candy Crush. Before they can dwell on unimportant details, tell the Over Talker that you appreciate their time and you’ll catch up soon, when you’re out of the weeds. Don’t even wait for them to say, “Wait, one more thing!” because A) It never is just one more thing and B) You have your answer and now it’s time to take care of business. Here you show appreciation for their help but also let the Over Talker know you have more things on your plate, other than how well they did in the softball game last week. As I said in Tip #2, after you get your answer, politely hang up. You are doing this, mainly because you are too busy for small talk (or long talk, in the Over Talker’s case). When you’re in a rush, or have more things on your plate, timing is of the essence. Even though the Over Talker seems to have an open calendar when it comes to wasting time, there is the possibility that at some point, they will be busy too. With what, I have no idea. Probably having to make up for all the work they missed while blabbing! But when you actually need the help of the Over Talker, you need to choose your moment wisely. Knowing the Over Talker is going to corner you with nonsense, make sure choose to talk to the Over Talker when they have something coming up. When you need a quick answer from them, check their calendar and see when they have a meeting. Ten or so minutes before, hop by their desk, or drop them a line and ask the question you need to. And when you say thank you, also show your appreciation by telling them, “I know you have a meeting in a couple of minutes, so thanks for your time. We’ll catch up later.” Then, as I said in Tip #1, float off into the sunset. Do you have a great story about an Over Talker? Post all the details in the comment section below. As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.com. Follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT, and of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips for a more polite life. I'm going to feel very bad if any of you actually read all the way through. Even I didn't read any of it, I just googled the topic and copied the first article I clicked. Sorry for wasting your time!

 

[J-Roderton]

I dunno. Hate that shit. Just shut up.

 

[Snow_Lizard]

In that context, I'd say ask a question. That will stop them rolling. Then ask for a pamphlet, website, or contact info. Then "thanks" and I'm gone.

 

[Silvawuff]

In that context, I'd say ask a question. That will stop them rolling. Then ask for a pamphlet, website, or contact info. Then "thanks" and I'm gone.

Wow, this is a very good way to handle this. I'm going to add this to my social toolkit.

 

[DunDunDunpachi]

Politely interrupt. It's a repeatable skill that works in a lot of social situations.

1. Cut them off with a hand-gesture and say "hold it", "one sec", or something abrupt without being rude.
2. Crack a smile, make eye contact, and get the conversation back on track.

You can do that by asking a leading question, or clarifying "I guess what I'm most curious about is..." and then talk about the subject you wanted to talk about.

A way to take it to the next level is to ask a question about them or a recursive question, like:

"Hang on a sec" *crack your smile* "I'm curious to know how you got into this field. You seem really knowledgable about it".
Or
"Hold it, when you mentioned [some thing] earlier, I'm curious if you had to [do something related to that thing]. Or am I misunderstanding what you meant?"

These work really well because it shows you're sharp as a tack, paying close attention to what they're saying. A person on the receiving end of this treatment will usually be more than happy to cut the bullshit and engage with you. People who love their jobs are more than happy to explain, so go ahead and provide them the opportunity, but make them explain something you actually care about listening to. And if they seem dazed, they're just reciting a speech and they're not worth your time anyway.

This is also a good trick to pull if you genuinely didn't hear them (like, hear their name, or hear a term they used) and you're getting lost in the conversation as a result. "I apologize, earlier when you said [thing] did I hear you correctly that [such and such] happened?" Do it early in the conversation because it's seen as far more polite than nodding your head for 10 minutes and then asking "I'm sorry, what was your name again?" It can be sort of annoying (don't do this all the time) but it's like a parachute if you're totally lost in a conversation. It is annoying, though. People who do this all the time stick out like a sore thumb and are social pariahs.

I'm fairly introverted in my private life. 1 - 4 extra people hanging with me is about my max. But I've had to give presentations and speeches to 200-or-so many times in my life, had to lead teams, make presentations, I have to introduce people all the time, etc. so you kind of have to learn -- in a mechanical way -- how to lead a good conversation.

In that context, I'd say ask a question. That will stop them rolling. Then ask for a pamphlet, website, or contact info. Then "thanks" and I'm gone.

Good advice.

 

[CosCom]

You know "those people", that talks for a prolonged period of time while I am reduced to nodding. They are very articulated. An example would be the people in job fairs. It is like they are giving a mini-presentation than actually having a human conversation.

I lose focus after a while and I don't know how to commit to the conversation.

Any tips?

You can excuse yourself with your phone. Pretend that your phone is ringing

 

[Nymphae]

Politely interrupt.

Was just going to say this.

 

[EverydayBeast]

Get them on a subject they don’t know about.

 

[888]

Tell them to stop talking.

I told a vendor today that just kept going on and on and on to take a breath.

 

[hecatomb]

A while back, I wrote an article called How to Talk to Strangers, in which I discussed techniques of politely talking with strangers without looking like a creep. One thing I didn't touch on in that episode was the fact that it’s totally not okay to talk to people non-stop until smoke comes out of their ears. The person who does this is referred to as the “Over Talker.” The Over Talker loves (I mean, LOOOOOOVES!) to talk about anything, any time, anywhere, with anyone. Maybe they like to hear their own voice, or maybe they find you to be just super-duper interesting. As much as I wish latter was true, I'm sorry to burst your bubble – it’s more likely the former. So before you get stuck listening to the Over Talker ramble on and on, check out my top 3 Quick and Dirty Tips for escaping the Over Talker: The great Muhammad Ali once said, “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee,” to describe his in-ring fighting style. He toyed around with opponents by floating like a butterfly around them, then WHAMOhe’d sting them with a punch. I think about this saying when i get stuck listening to an Over Talker who will not leave me alone.This mentality is not rude, folks. You have to remember that the Over Talkers does not have your best interest in mind. In fact, the Over Talker is a pretty selfish species. The Over Talker does not care if you’re in a rush, busy, or even interested in what they have to say - their mission is to talk to you until their needs are met. And because of this, you have to stay on your toes and not allow yourself to get caught up in their web. In other words, float like a butterfly and fly, fly away.See also: How to Escape from an Awkward Conversation As much as I love Ali’s saying, I’m not advising the “sting” part though. It’s the floating and moving that is key to avoiding an annoying Over Talker. - unless the Over Talker is your boss, and by walking away you will look insubordinate. However, your time is valuable, and boss or no boss, you have things to do too. This is when you float.Give the Over Talker (or anyone else) a window of your time – that’s simply being a good, conscientious person. But once you start to realize that you're stuck, start to float. If you’re at your desk, look through papers, hop online for email, or search (for anything) on your desk like you’re frustrated and busy. You can keep your answers limited to “Yes… Uh-huh… Sure…” but make yourself active. If they don’t take that hint, get up and start to walk around the office or cube to “look for something important.” This is how you float. It’s an act, yes, but it’s key to making the Over Talker realize – without having to say it to their face – that you have other things to do that don't involve listening to them. The movie Moneyball tells the story of the underdog Oakland Athletics baseball team and its general manager Billy Beane played by Brad Pitt. Not only is this movie a fantastic example of believing in yourself, it also has one of my all time favorite quotes about business deals. When Beane and his assistant GM are negotiating a trade with another team on the phone, Beane tells his assistant GM, "If you get the answer you're looking for, hang up.”The Over Talker will want to elaborate, ask more questions, or tell you about their highest score on Candy Crush. The assistant GM is shocked by this. He's concerned that he will look rude to the person on the other end. But Beane’s point is that once you get your answer, you need to act on your next steps immediately, and there is no time for small talk. After all, time is money, right? But to the Over Talker, time is well…endless! For example, say you need to know the name of a contact that only the Over Talker possesses. Fearing a long, drawn-out conversation, you pick up the phone, dreading the result. But, like Beane said, once you get your answer, hang up. For example, “Hey Bob, real quick, who’s our marketing contact at XYZ Company?” And after Bob tells you it’s Mary Jones, you quickly say, "All right, thanks very much. Good-bye, Bob." See, the Over Talker (Bob) will want to elaborate, ask more questions, or tell you about their highest score on Candy Crush. Before they can dwell on unimportant details, tell the Over Talker that you appreciate their time and you’ll catch up soon, when you’re out of the weeds. Don’t even wait for them to say, “Wait, one more thing!” because A) It never is just one more thing and B) You have your answer and now it’s time to take care of business. Here you show appreciation for their help but also let the Over Talker know you have more things on your plate, other than how well they did in the softball game last week. As I said in Tip #2, after you get your answer, politely hang up. You are doing this, mainly because you are too busy for small talk (or long talk, in the Over Talker’s case). When you’re in a rush, or have more things on your plate, timing is of the essence. Even though the Over Talker seems to have an open calendar when it comes to wasting time, there is the possibility that at some point, they will be busy too. With what, I have no idea. Probably having to make up for all the work they missed while blabbing! But when you actually need the help of the Over Talker, you need to choose your moment wisely. Knowing the Over Talker is going to corner you with nonsense, make sure choose to talk to the Over Talker when they have something coming up. When you need a quick answer from them, check their calendar and see when they have a meeting. Ten or so minutes before, hop by their desk, or drop them a line and ask the question you need to. And when you say thank you, also show your appreciation by telling them, “I know you have a meeting in a couple of minutes, so thanks for your time. We’ll catch up later.” Then, as I said in Tip #1, float off into the sunset. Do you have a great story about an Over Talker? Post all the details in the comment section below. As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.com. Follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT, and of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips for a more polite life. I'm going to feel very bad if any of you actually read all the way through. Even I didn't read any of it, I just googled the topic and copied the first article I clicked. Sorry for wasting your time!

The wall of text is real, do you even know what a paragraph is?

 

[MC Safety]

"Let me stop you right there, and leave."



(From The Office)

 

[DunDunDunpachi]

Tell them to stop talking.

I told a vendor today that just kept going on and on and on to take a breath.

Brutal!

 

[bitbydeath]

You know "those people", that talks for a prolonged period of time while I am reduced to nodding.

 

[Papa]

You need to use your body language to let them know you’re losing interest.

 

[888]

Brutal!

The guy ended up laughing but it wasn’t gonna stop. All the other employees around me looked at me like I was crazy. Some people need a good smack now and then.

 

[Breakage]

Tell them the urine in your bladder is starting to burn.

 

[lifa-cobex]

Plenty of ways to get out of a conversation.

Whip your dick out,
Piss on their feet,
spit in their face.

You're the problem. You just have to be honest with yourself and in brace your inner asshole.

 

[JimmyRustler]

Change your mindset.

When you talk, you just say things that you already know. When you listen you might learn something new.

 

[lil puff]

Once I figure out that I'm dealing with 'that' type of person, I go out of my way to stay quiet and come off as disinterested in anything they say, like I just don't pay attention. I try to do it in a polite way though.

We had one IT guy that talked so nonstop, you could have him on the phone, put the phone down on the desk, walk away, come back later and he'd still be talking LOL

 

[Kacho]

Yeah I have a guy that I have to deal with pretty regularly and he won't take a hint. He's the type of guy who will chat up anyone and laughs loudly after everything he says. It's a very strange thing.

 

[yeahokaywhatever]

Find a polite way to bow out. Pretend your phone is ringing, excuse yourself by saying you need to go to the restroom or just find a lull in the conversation to say you've gotta go.

 

[Grinchy]

Man, I can't stand people who speak in paragraphs when sentences can convey the same ideas.

The worst is shit like, "You know that actor who was in that one movie with the bank? Shit...who was that. You know the guy! There was that scene at the beginning where they were all planning it. Damn, like it starts with them in the country and they're driving to the diner to meet up to talk about the plan and..."

*5 minutes of explanations and me having to make an insane guess at who the actor is*

"Yeah!! Him! Well I just read that he is gonna be in the new Spider-Man movie."

 

[lil puff]

The only thing worse is when others engage in those conversations and I have to sit here and listen to 3 people chatting nonstop, each of them trying to be more funny/edgy than the other and all the laughing just escalates

 

[King of Foxes]

In meetings I just say "hang on..." or "okay...."and people usually stop and let me speak to clarify what im asking for.

 

[petran79]

A while back, I wrote an article called How to Talk to Strangers, in which I discussed techniques of politely talking with strangers without looking like a creep. One thing I didn't touch on in that episode was the fact that it’s totally not okay to talk to people non-stop until smoke comes out of their ears. The person who does this is referred to as the “Over Talker.” The Over Talker loves (I mean, LOOOOOOVES!) to talk about anything, any time, anywhere, with anyone. Maybe they like to hear their own voice, or maybe they find you to be just super-duper interesting. As much as I wish latter was true, I'm sorry to burst your bubble – it’s more likely the former. So before you get stuck listening to the Over Talker ramble on and on, check out my top 3 Quick and Dirty Tips for escaping the Over Talker: The great Muhammad Ali once said, “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee,” to describe his in-ring fighting style. He toyed around with opponents by floating like a butterfly around them, then WHAMOhe’d sting them with a punch. I think about this saying when i get stuck listening to an Over Talker who will not leave me alone.This mentality is not rude, folks. You have to remember that the Over Talkers does not have your best interest in mind. In fact, the Over Talker is a pretty selfish species. The Over Talker does not care if you’re in a rush, busy, or even interested in what they have to say - their mission is to talk to you until their needs are met. And because of this, you have to stay on your toes and not allow yourself to get caught up in their web. In other words, float like a butterfly and fly, fly away.See also: How to Escape from an Awkward Conversation As much as I love Ali’s saying, I’m not advising the “sting” part though. It’s the floating and moving that is key to avoiding an annoying Over Talker. - unless the Over Talker is your boss, and by walking away you will look insubordinate. However, your time is valuable, and boss or no boss, you have things to do too. This is when you float.Give the Over Talker (or anyone else) a window of your time – that’s simply being a good, conscientious person. But once you start to realize that you're stuck, start to float. If you’re at your desk, look through papers, hop online for email, or search (for anything) on your desk like you’re frustrated and busy. You can keep your answers limited to “Yes… Uh-huh… Sure…” but make yourself active. If they don’t take that hint, get up and start to walk around the office or cube to “look for something important.” This is how you float. It’s an act, yes, but it’s key to making the Over Talker realize – without having to say it to their face – that you have other things to do that don't involve listening to them. The movie Moneyball tells the story of the underdog Oakland Athletics baseball team and its general manager Billy Beane played by Brad Pitt. Not only is this movie a fantastic example of believing in yourself, it also has one of my all time favorite quotes about business deals. When Beane and his assistant GM are negotiating a trade with another team on the phone, Beane tells his assistant GM, "If you get the answer you're looking for, hang up.”The Over Talker will want to elaborate, ask more questions, or tell you about their highest score on Candy Crush. The assistant GM is shocked by this. He's concerned that he will look rude to the person on the other end. But Beane’s point is that once you get your answer, you need to act on your next steps immediately, and there is no time for small talk. After all, time is money, right? But to the Over Talker, time is well…endless! For example, say you need to know the name of a contact that only the Over Talker possesses. Fearing a long, drawn-out conversation, you pick up the phone, dreading the result. But, like Beane said, once you get your answer, hang up. For example, “Hey Bob, real quick, who’s our marketing contact at XYZ Company?” And after Bob tells you it’s Mary Jones, you quickly say, "All right, thanks very much. Good-bye, Bob." See, the Over Talker (Bob) will want to elaborate, ask more questions, or tell you about their highest score on Candy Crush. Before they can dwell on unimportant details, tell the Over Talker that you appreciate their time and you’ll catch up soon, when you’re out of the weeds. Don’t even wait for them to say, “Wait, one more thing!” because A) It never is just one more thing and B) You have your answer and now it’s time to take care of business. Here you show appreciation for their help but also let the Over Talker know you have more things on your plate, other than how well they did in the softball game last week. As I said in Tip #2, after you get your answer, politely hang up. You are doing this, mainly because you are too busy for small talk (or long talk, in the Over Talker’s case). When you’re in a rush, or have more things on your plate, timing is of the essence. Even though the Over Talker seems to have an open calendar when it comes to wasting time, there is the possibility that at some point, they will be busy too. With what, I have no idea. Probably having to make up for all the work they missed while blabbing! But when you actually need the help of the Over Talker, you need to choose your moment wisely. Knowing the Over Talker is going to corner you with nonsense, make sure choose to talk to the Over Talker when they have something coming up. When you need a quick answer from them, check their calendar and see when they have a meeting. Ten or so minutes before, hop by their desk, or drop them a line and ask the question you need to. And when you say thank you, also show your appreciation by telling them, “I know you have a meeting in a couple of minutes, so thanks for your time. We’ll catch up later.” Then, as I said in Tip #1, float off into the sunset. Do you have a great story about an Over Talker? Post all the details in the comment section below. As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.com. Follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT, and of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips for a more polite life. I'm going to feel very bad if any of you actually read all the way through. Even I didn't read any of it, I just googled the topic and copied the first article I clicked. Sorry for wasting your time!

I would not like to listen to the text above!

 

[TFGB]

I lose focus after a while and I don't know how to commit to the conversation.

Any tips?

Show them this pic on your phone:

 

[Catphish]

I find vomiting to be a good way to break the conversation without being rude.

 

[Neverwas]

my roommate does this all the time. i told her unless she improves her story telling, I'm hitting her with a word limit per conversation.

...she hits the word limit every friggin time.

 

[Pagusas]

A while back, I wrote an article called How to Talk to Strangers, in which I discussed techniques of politely talking with strangers without looking like a creep. One thing I didn't touch on in that episode was the fact that it’s totally not okay to talk to people non-stop until smoke comes out of their ears. The person who does this is referred to as the “Over Talker.” The Over Talker loves (I mean, LOOOOOOVES!) to talk about anything, any time, anywhere, with anyone. Maybe they like to hear their own voice, or maybe they find you to be just super-duper interesting. As much as I wish latter was true, I'm sorry to burst your bubble – it’s more likely the former. So before you get stuck listening to the Over Talker ramble on and on, check out my top 3 Quick and Dirty Tips for escaping the Over Talker: The great Muhammad Ali once said, “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee,” to describe his in-ring fighting style. He toyed around with opponents by floating like a butterfly around them, then WHAMOhe’d sting them with a punch. I think about this saying when i get stuck listening to an Over Talker who will not leave me alone.This mentality is not rude, folks. You have to remember that the Over Talkers does not have your best interest in mind. In fact, the Over Talker is a pretty selfish species. The Over Talker does not care if you’re in a rush, busy, or even interested in what they have to say - their mission is to talk to you until their needs are met. And because of this, you have to stay on your toes and not allow yourself to get caught up in their web. In other words, float like a butterfly and fly, fly away.See also: How to Escape from an Awkward Conversation As much as I love Ali’s saying, I’m not advising the “sting” part though. It’s the floating and moving that is key to avoiding an annoying Over Talker. - unless the Over Talker is your boss, and by walking away you will look insubordinate. However, your time is valuable, and boss or no boss, you have things to do too. This is when you float.Give the Over Talker (or anyone else) a window of your time – that’s simply being a good, conscientious person. But once you start to realize that you're stuck, start to float. If you’re at your desk, look through papers, hop online for email, or search (for anything) on your desk like you’re frustrated and busy. You can keep your answers limited to “Yes… Uh-huh… Sure…” but make yourself active. If they don’t take that hint, get up and start to walk around the office or cube to “look for something important.” This is how you float. It’s an act, yes, but it’s key to making the Over Talker realize – without having to say it to their face – that you have other things to do that don't involve listening to them. The movie Moneyball tells the story of the underdog Oakland Athletics baseball team and its general manager Billy Beane played by Brad Pitt. Not only is this movie a fantastic example of believing in yourself, it also has one of my all time favorite quotes about business deals. When Beane and his assistant GM are negotiating a trade with another team on the phone, Beane tells his assistant GM, "If you get the answer you're looking for, hang up.”The Over Talker will want to elaborate, ask more questions, or tell you about their highest score on Candy Crush. The assistant GM is shocked by this. He's concerned that he will look rude to the person on the other end. But Beane’s point is that once you get your answer, you need to act on your next steps immediately, and there is no time for small talk. After all, time is money, right? But to the Over Talker, time is well…endless! For example, say you need to know the name of a contact that only the Over Talker possesses. Fearing a long, drawn-out conversation, you pick up the phone, dreading the result. But, like Beane said, once you get your answer, hang up. For example, “Hey Bob, real quick, who’s our marketing contact at XYZ Company?” And after Bob tells you it’s Mary Jones, you quickly say, "All right, thanks very much. Good-bye, Bob." See, the Over Talker (Bob) will want to elaborate, ask more questions, or tell you about their highest score on Candy Crush. Before they can dwell on unimportant details, tell the Over Talker that you appreciate their time and you’ll catch up soon, when you’re out of the weeds. Don’t even wait for them to say, “Wait, one more thing!” because A) It never is just one more thing and B) You have your answer and now it’s time to take care of business. Here you show appreciation for their help but also let the Over Talker know you have more things on your plate, other than how well they did in the softball game last week. As I said in Tip #2, after you get your answer, politely hang up. You are doing this, mainly because you are too busy for small talk (or long talk, in the Over Talker’s case). When you’re in a rush, or have more things on your plate, timing is of the essence. Even though the Over Talker seems to have an open calendar when it comes to wasting time, there is the possibility that at some point, they will be busy too. With what, I have no idea. Probably having to make up for all the work they missed while blabbing! But when you actually need the help of the Over Talker, you need to choose your moment wisely. Knowing the Over Talker is going to corner you with nonsense, make sure choose to talk to the Over Talker when they have something coming up. When you need a quick answer from them, check their calendar and see when they have a meeting. Ten or so minutes before, hop by their desk, or drop them a line and ask the question you need to. And when you say thank you, also show your appreciation by telling them, “I know you have a meeting in a couple of minutes, so thanks for your time. We’ll catch up later.” Then, as I said in Tip #1, float off into the sunset. Do you have a great story about an Over Talker? Post all the details in the comment section below. As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.com. Follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT, and of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips for a more polite life. I'm going to feel very bad if any of you actually read all the way through. Even I didn't read any of it, I just googled the topic and copied the first article I clicked. Sorry for wasting your time!

Well played sir, well played

 

[Ar¢tos]

Stop being so polite, life is too short to waste time listening to stuff that has no interest or no impact, direct or indirect, in your life.

 

[lil puff]

Stop being so polite, life is too short to waste time listening to stuff that has no interest or no impact, direct or indirect, in your life.

Sometimes you have to at least find a way to appear polite if you have to coexist with such people, like family or coworkers. That's the entire trick imo, to set those boundaries in advance. Just don't ever start off engaging - I mean if that's your personality in the 1st place, they'll naturally know not to start on you. Unless they're just plain crazy.

 

[MDSLKTR]

 

[Scopa]

A while back, I wrote an article called How to Talk to Strangers, in which I discussed techniques of politely talking with strangers without looking like a creep. One thing I didn't touch on in that episode was the fact that it’s totally not okay to talk to people non-stop until smoke comes out of their ears. The person who does this is referred to as the “Over Talker.” The Over Talker loves (I mean, LOOOOOOVES!) to talk about anything, any time, anywhere, with anyone. Maybe they like to hear their own voice, or maybe they find you to be just super-duper interesting. As much as I wish latter was true, I'm sorry to burst your bubble – it’s more likely the former. So before you get stuck listening to the Over Talker ramble on and on, check out my top 3 Quick and Dirty Tips for escaping the Over Talker: The great Muhammad Ali once said, “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee,” to describe his in-ring fighting style. He toyed around with opponents by floating like a butterfly around them, then WHAMOhe’d sting them with a punch. I think about this saying when i get stuck listening to an Over Talker who will not leave me alone.This mentality is not rude, folks. You have to remember that the Over Talkers does not have your best interest in mind. In fact, the Over Talker is a pretty selfish species. The Over Talker does not care if you’re in a rush, busy, or even interested in what they have to say - their mission is to talk to you until their needs are met. And because of this, you have to stay on your toes and not allow yourself to get caught up in their web. In other words, float like a butterfly and fly, fly away.See also: How to Escape from an Awkward Conversation As much as I love Ali’s saying, I’m not advising the “sting” part though. It’s the floating and moving that is key to avoiding an annoying Over Talker. - unless the Over Talker is your boss, and by walking away you will look insubordinate. However, your time is valuable, and boss or no boss, you have things to do too. This is when you float.Give the Over Talker (or anyone else) a window of your time – that’s simply being a good, conscientious person. But once you start to realize that you're stuck, start to float. If you’re at your desk, look through papers, hop online for email, or search (for anything) on your desk like you’re frustrated and busy. You can keep your answers limited to “Yes… Uh-huh… Sure…” but make yourself active. If they don’t take that hint, get up and start to walk around the office or cube to “look for something important.” This is how you float. It’s an act, yes, but it’s key to making the Over Talker realize – without having to say it to their face – that you have other things to do that don't involve listening to them. The movie Moneyball tells the story of the underdog Oakland Athletics baseball team and its general manager Billy Beane played by Brad Pitt. Not only is this movie a fantastic example of believing in yourself, it also has one of my all time favorite quotes about business deals. When Beane and his assistant GM are negotiating a trade with another team on the phone, Beane tells his assistant GM, "If you get the answer you're looking for, hang up.”The Over Talker will want to elaborate, ask more questions, or tell you about their highest score on Candy Crush. The assistant GM is shocked by this. He's concerned that he will look rude to the person on the other end. But Beane’s point is that once you get your answer, you need to act on your next steps immediately, and there is no time for small talk. After all, time is money, right? But to the Over Talker, time is well…endless! For example, say you need to know the name of a contact that only the Over Talker possesses. Fearing a long, drawn-out conversation, you pick up the phone, dreading the result. But, like Beane said, once you get your answer, hang up. For example, “Hey Bob, real quick, who’s our marketing contact at XYZ Company?” And after Bob tells you it’s Mary Jones, you quickly say, "All right, thanks very much. Good-bye, Bob." See, the Over Talker (Bob) will want to elaborate, ask more questions, or tell you about their highest score on Candy Crush. Before they can dwell on unimportant details, tell the Over Talker that you appreciate their time and you’ll catch up soon, when you’re out of the weeds. Don’t even wait for them to say, “Wait, one more thing!” because A) It never is just one more thing and B) You have your answer and now it’s time to take care of business. Here you show appreciation for their help but also let the Over Talker know you have more things on your plate, other than how well they did in the softball game last week. As I said in Tip #2, after you get your answer, politely hang up. You are doing this, mainly because you are too busy for small talk (or long talk, in the Over Talker’s case). When you’re in a rush, or have more things on your plate, timing is of the essence. Even though the Over Talker seems to have an open calendar when it comes to wasting time, there is the possibility that at some point, they will be busy too. With what, I have no idea. Probably having to make up for all the work they missed while blabbing! But when you actually need the help of the Over Talker, you need to choose your moment wisely. Knowing the Over Talker is going to corner you with nonsense, make sure choose to talk to the Over Talker when they have something coming up. When you need a quick answer from them, check their calendar and see when they have a meeting. Ten or so minutes before, hop by their desk, or drop them a line and ask the question you need to. And when you say thank you, also show your appreciation by telling them, “I know you have a meeting in a couple of minutes, so thanks for your time. We’ll catch up later.” Then, as I said in Tip #1, float off into the sunset. Do you have a great story about an Over Talker? Post all the details in the comment section below. As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.com. Follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT, and of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips for a more polite life. I'm going to feel very bad if any of you actually read all the way through. Even I didn't read any of it, I just googled the topic and copied the first article I clicked. Sorry for wasting your time!

Your next article should be “How to Use Paragraphs”.

 

[dan76]

This happens a hell of a lot. Never used to, what changed? When I get tired of listening I usually say something like "so, what you basically saying is...." and summarize what they've been going on about. That usually stops it.
If it's a friend I'll say " da da, da, da, duh, skip to the end..?"
I'll sometimes shake my head and say, "sorry, you've lost me. What are you on about again?"

I actually find it rude, and I don't mind offending someone who is doing it. I don't want to offend them, but if it happens, too bad.

 

[lil puff]

We have this one guy in my office area.

He comes in and screams HI EVRYONE! Then he proceeds to talk nonstop from the AM to closing. All day, all you hear is his mouth. This guy has been here 8 years and still is discussing typical workflow practice. If we all get CC'd on an email that pertains only to him, he'll ask everyone what it's about.

He is the kind of guy that stops people in the hallways to make a joke. You can hear him in the kitchen trying to be funny. He seriously desires attention and it's kinda sad.

Everyone knows what he's eating for lunch and how delicious it was, everyday. And dinner for that matter.

He goes downstairs with the people that smoke, and he doesn't. The ones that are taking the break are us LOL

I'm thinking, damn you must be exhausted by the end of the day.

Good times.

 

[Taxexemption]

If it's someone I know in real life I try to avoid them. If I have to interact with them, then I'm just going to be dissatisfied cause nothing seems to work. At a previous job I had a boss that I almost never saw, he worked a different shift and just left notes for me. The notes were really poorly written and I didn't always know what he wanted because of that. But occasionally he would be at work at the end of my shift and give me a half hour long speech about anything and everything, and he would do this right as I'm trying to leave work.


One time he came in an hour before I left and I didn't get done anything for the last hour. He just talked and talked and talked, and never let me say so much as a word. He talked about work, he talked about his family, one subject rolled into another and I think I was at work a half hour after my shift before I said I needed to leave. I was a temp and didn't want to rock the boat so I didn't report several hours of what would have been overtime that were entirely due to my boss keeping me after work so that he could talk my ear off.

 

[lil puff]

If it's someone I know in real life I try to avoid them. If I have to interact with them, then I'm just going to be dissatisfied cause nothing seems to work. At a previous job I had a boss that I almost never saw, he worked a different shift and just left notes for me. The notes were really poorly written and I didn't always know what he wanted because of that. But occasionally he would be at work at the end of my shift and give me a half hour long speech about anything and everything, and he would do this right as I'm trying to leave work.


One time he came in an hour before I left and I didn't get done anything for the last hour. He just talked and talked and talked, and never let me say so much as a word. He talked about work, he talked about his family, one subject rolled into another and I think I was at work a half hour after my shift before I said I needed to leave. I was a temp and didn't want to rock the boat so I didn't report several hours of what would have been overtime that were entirely due to my boss keeping me after work so that he could talk my ear off.

This is bad. If anyone has a manager or boss like this (I do) (also, the poorly written notes, and one sentence emails). If you can, tell them that you need to get on the train at a certain time , or if you drive tell him everyday you have to avoid traffic. Or you have to pick your kids up at a certain time etc.

Never let anyone make you stay late.

 

[Dr.Guru of Peru]

Just cut them off, and if that doesn’t work just disengage.

 

[thief183]

I'm usually the one talking too much...