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[Kaladin]

GASTONIA, NC - A Gastonia couple was taken into custody Independence Day after authorities say the two assaulted each other using pizza rolls.

Brad Scott Beard, 24, and Samantha Brooke Canipe, 21, were each charged with one count of misdemeanor simple assault and booked into the Gaston County Jail Monday morning, according to arrest records.

Gastonia police said the couple got into a fight about 1 a.m. at their apartment off Spring Valley Drive by throwing pizza rolls at each other.

It’s unclear how the fight started, how many rolls were thrown or the brand of rolls that were used.

Police say Beard faces up to 60 days in jail while Canipe faces up to 30 days in jail.

http://www.fox46charlotte.com/news/local-news/169434634-story

Of all the things to get arrested over.....pizza rolls.

 

[grimmiq]

So why does he get double the jail time?

 

[Torokil]

Advice from a North Carolinian - stay out of Gastonia.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lh5NcixksIU

 

[HawksWinStanley]

Good, fuck them. You don't waste pizza rolls like that.

 

[23qwerty]

Uhhhh I assume there must have been some actual assault occurring as well?

 

[emag]

Rule of thumb: if the police have to show up to handle a situation, someone's going to jail (or worse).

 

[devilhawk]

So why does he get double the jail time?

EIther priors or ol' fashioned sexism.

 

[thelooseteeth]

#Best Carolina

 

[Mechazawa]

So why does he get double the jail time?

Because feminazis won't admit it, but women will NEVER be able to throw pizza rolls as hard as men.

 

[wanderingprostheyltite]

I feel like NC is actively gunning for that Florida crown.

Spoiler

I grew up there :/

 

[Technosteve]

I live here now, i miss jersey

 

[sir_kevith]

fuck these scumbags. My brother found an honest-to-god tooth in a pizza roll one time and I still eat them.

 

[Transistor]

Anybody want a pizza roll? Email me and I'll send you a pizza roll.

 

[Gordon Shumway]

EIther priors or ol' fashioned sexism.

Shit..I believe you..

 

[wanderingprostheyltite]

fuck these scumbags. My brother found an honest-to-god tooth in a pizza roll one time and I still eat them.

Yum.

 

[jediyoshi]

Anybody want a pizza roll? Email me and I'll send you a pizza roll.

This is entrapment.

 

[Grover Cleveland]

Yep sounds like some Gastonia shit to me!

 

[UnemployedVillain]

Uhhhh I assume there must have been some actual assault occurring as well?

They were straight out of the microwave oven and scalding hot!

 

[chrisPjelly]

So why does he get double the jail time?

He threw double the pizza rolls obviously

 

[TheLostBigBoss]

oh. my pizza rolls is done

email me and i'll send you a pizza roll

 

[SliceSabre]

Monsters. Do they realize those pizza rolls could have gone to some starving teenaged boys in need of a late night snack!?

 

[Arc]

Anybody want a pizza roll? Email me and I'll send you a pizza roll.

Post a comment on this webzone and I'll send you a pizza roll.

 

[Premium Quality]

Anybody want a pizza roll? Email me and I'll send you a pizza roll.

I'm sure this is a sign that the next Plinkett review is coming any day now.

 

[Sayter]

So why does he get double the jail time?

Pizza Pizza.

 

[Raxus]

Nice to see Andrex doing well.

 

[thesaucetastic]

Are we sure this isn't Florida

 

[truly101]

If its not been mentioned, Gastonia is Fred Durst's hometown....so whatever you needed to know about how this....is, now you do.

 

[GoldenEye 007]

Hey those things can be hot. Could start a forest fire right out of the oven.

 

[ThisGuy]

Little sacks of molten lava. Could you imagine taking one fresh out the microwave to the face?

 

[parrotbeak]

Uhhhh I assume there must have been some actual assault occurring as well?

You never had the top of your mouth burnt off by a pizza roll?

 

[Zetta]

So why does he get double the jail time?

Pizza rolls can get incredibly hot... or it could be because his last name is Beard and he lacks one, the police the don't kindly to liars.

 

[Envelope]

somehow i thought of pizza cutters when i read the title

now i'm disappointed

 

[Orbis Tabula]

Goddammit. If we lived in a just world, her last name would be Canape, not Canipe.

 

[Volimar]

What the hell? Pizza rolls don't grow on trees ya know?

 

[Hypemaster]

Frozen pizza rolls are dangerous, ever thought about that GAF???????

 

[How About No]

Were they frozen and hard? If so, ouch

Were they cooked and steaming? If so, ouch

Spoiler

WHOS FUCKING WITH MY MEDS

 

[freeofgreed]

Who called the police?

 

[Speely]

Sometimes, when you keep things inside instead of letting others see what's there, the contents heat up and burst the shell in which they are sealed. This couple needs to just lay it all out and come full circle, no matter how you slice it.

 

[Zeke]

It’s unclear how the fight started, how many rolls were thrown or the brand of rolls that were used.

Hopefully the investigation turns up answers about the important details. The public demands answers!

 

[johnsmith]

You call those pizza rolls?

There's a place up the street that has the best damn pizza rolls on the planet.

 

[thesaucetastic]

You call those pizza rolls?

There's a place up the street that has the best damn pizza rolls on the planet.

Those look like oversized bagel bites.

 

[Quixzlizx]

Gastonia sounds like the title of a horror movie.

 

[Sectorseven]

oh. my pizza rolls is done

email me and i'll send you a pizza roll

I'll leave a comment on this webzone.

 

[Speely]

Guys. GUYS.

The birthday of the man who invented pizza rolls, Jeno Paulucci, is July 5. One day prior, this shit happens?

It goes deeper than we thought.

 

[GhaleonEB]

Advice from a North Carolinian - stay out of Gastonia.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lh5NcixksIU

I like how he spent half the video with the camera pointed at the ground, then was yelling for the cops to shoot her, then offers up his video as evidence. Bravo, dude.

 

[Shaanyboi]

Anybody want a pizza roll? Email me and I'll send you a pizza roll.

Somebody's been fuckin with my medicine...