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(11-07-2016, 03:29 AM)
KmA's Avatar
I wanted to write this in the last OT but it was close to its #demise so I'll just write this here.

My dad came into my room yesterday evening and I thought he was just coming in to yell at me about school or whatever. Which he did lmao. But then he kind of started... to stutter a little bit? Like he was really hesitant and I started feeling this rushing panic attack starting from the bottom of my heart.

So some background, I told my mom that I'm gay back in May 2015 and it... didn't go spectacularly. We haven't really talked about it since then and I basically begged her not to tell my dad because I was worried he might stop paying for my school.

Anyway, back to my panic attack. My dad was like "so i was talking to your mom.... and she told me about your preference." In that moment I stood the fuck up and was like WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS. My dad was just like boy... sit your ass down let me finish. (What he said next will melt your heart!)

He told me that he doesn't care. That he would support me no matter what I do in my personal or private life and that he'll love me no matter what type of person I am. He was just worried about my behavior for the past few years, which obviously has been changing since I realized I was gay. I don't know how to feel tbh. This is so out of left field because I was expecting the worst out of him (we're Muslim so like... I wasn't really expecting my parents to get it). And I also don't have a very strong relationship with him to begin with. So I don't know what to think. Relief I guess? It could have gone a lot worse than this so I'm a bit thankful for that.

I'm just kind of in a state of shock right now I didn't expect this. I'm rethinking his role in my life now because before I didn't want him as a part of my future but now... idk.