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Girl/Dating Age: Where to begin?

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C

Combine

Banned
And by begin, I mean it in the most literal way possible.

Backstory: So, after a long long period of being a complete idiot (or maybe I still am, otherwise why the thread eh?) and never having any contact at all with women, I finally realize now that, I would like to try and change that. But sadly, I'm not young and don't have a clue where to start. I've also got some handicaps that would appear to make things much more difficult (don't like to drink, not too much into the whole bar/big party scene).

I've started online dating, but it's kind of off-putting with all the calculations and categorizations that it comes down to, and that kind of leaves a bad taste. Also, it seems most women on these sites who are my age are looking to "settle down" and that's exactly the opposite of what I want to do. :(

But I guess what really scares me is, I got no clue how to actually "talk" to girls. I don't know what to say, or when to say it. Am I saying the right thing or not? It just frustrates me that I cannot seem to get over that, well, anxiety I guess. Maybe I need therapy.

So I guess, I was just hoping that I could maybe get something out of this thread before I go and spend a lot of money on a therapist. Or maybe I'm just beyond hope at this point (hence the desperation in making a topic). :(
 
S

StormyTheRabbit

Member
Combine said:
Ah, sorry, should have said that at the begining. I'm getting close to 29 :(
Click to expand...

dayum.jpg
 
S

Solaros

Member
I don't care who you are or what you do, but whatever you do in life, do it with confidence.

Especially with women.

And if you don't want to settle down narrow your search from 27-33 to 18-24.

Go out to a bar and order a coke.
Then get coke with a little bit of jack.
Then do a line of coke.
Repeat and keep going until you talk to women.
 
A

AlternativeUlster

Absolutely pathetic part deux
Read books about dating, gain confidence, yadda yadda. Just talk to girls who seem interesting and get to know them better. After hanging out for a couple of hours, go in and try and kiss her. If she isn't into it, then be friends. If so then make out with her for a bit. Then move your hand in areas like her boobs or her vagina but only after your kissing becomes intense like (kissing in the ear, the neck, slobbering tongues, etc). If she goes for it, lift up her shirt and then start sucking on her breasts and then proceed to have sex with her. There you go. That is how you get laid.
 
T

TacticalFox88

Banned
Dude....being a man-whore gets old after awhile. When you find the right girl, you'll think settling down is the best decision you made in your life.

Sex with girls:Awesome
Sex with the one you love: HOLY FUCKING FANTASTIC!

Ask anyone on married GAF.
 
M

mrkgoo

Member
Not drinking and not going to bars is only a handicap in your mind.

It depends on the kind of girl you want to meet, and what you want to meet them for (long term? Short term?).

A good place to start is just by socialising within a circle of people that share common interests. Not necessarily just women, either - women are people too, so you just need to start in how to socialise in general.
 
V

Veidt

Blasphemer who refuses to accept bagged milk as his personal savior
29 is young. But you're a man now, settling down is the only thing you can and should do. Find someone you know in real life, forget this internet superficial boolsheet.

Coming from a 20 year old though...
 
C

Combine

Banned
Solaros said:
And if you don't want to settle down narrow your search from 27-33 to 18-24.
Click to expand...
Well, I certainly won't complain about dating younger. But, well, aren't younger women more interested in looks and money, and age too. Cause, then, well, I'm afraid I might be too old for them.

Again, I'm ignorant on this whole thing so please correct me if I'm utterly wrong.
 
C

Combine

Banned
Chinner said:
might be good if you find some girls first.
Click to expand...
Yeah, for certain.
Solaros said:
Go out to a bar and order a coke.
Then get coke with a little bit of jack.
Then do a line of coke.
Repeat and keep going until you talk to women.
Click to expand...
Hmm, this sounds like a good plan. I probably should give it a shot.
 
A

AlternativeUlster

Absolutely pathetic part deux
Combine said:
Well, I certainly won't complain about dating younger. But, well, aren't younger women more interested in looks and money, and age too. Cause, then, well, I'm afraid I might be too old for them.

Again, I'm ignorant on this whole thing so please correct me if I'm utterly wrong.
Click to expand...

That's why you trick them into thinking you are the fucking cock of the block. Once you convince yourself you are a good looking motherfucker, ladies come to you more than you will even want.
 
D

Danielsan

Member
Combine said:
Well, I certainly won't complain about dating younger. But, well, aren't younger women more interested in looks and money, and age too. Cause, then, well, I'm afraid I might be too old for them.

Again, I'm ignorant on this whole thing so please correct me if I'm utterly wrong.
Click to expand...
As far as I know (and I'm not the guy to talk to for women advice) the younger ladies are often into older men.
 
S

Solaros

Member
Combine said:
Well, I certainly won't complain about dating younger. But, well, aren't younger women more interested in looks and money, and age too. Cause, then, well, I'm afraid I might be too old for them.

Again, I'm ignorant on this whole thing so please correct me if I'm utterly wrong.
Click to expand...
Younger women that I have ran into like an older guy that has their shit on lockdown.

You're too worried about this and have too many self restraining ideologies in your head.

You want to get laid, so think about that.

Don't think about any extraneous bullshit besides getting a smile on a woman's face.

Once you had that, go in for the kiss and if she pulls back crack a little smile and say, 'Just checkin'.'

It worked on this lesbian I tried to kiss once and she turned her head.
 
C

Count Dookkake

Member
If you want a boost in confidence, getting in shape is a good start. It won't guarantee a ticket to vaginaville, but it will make you feel better about yourself, which will help in the long run.
 
S

suaveric

Member
Chicks don't mind dating older. If you're not looking to settle down right now start looking in the 22-26 age group. 18-21 is a little too young.
 
Y

Yaweee

Member
Ignore the people that say you're too old. They're probably just young and naive.

You're going to have to put up with a lot of rejections, failures, and disappointments, but there are plenty of divorcees out there that are your age and definitely don't want to settle down right away. There might be a trend of people settling down as they get older, but I assure you there are plenty out there that still want to party.
 
F

FunkyPajamas

Member
How about going out with friends (male or female) and listening to people interact and try to blend in? It doesn't have to be at a bar, disco/club, whatever, it could be at a friend's place, or just a quick lunch out or just a regular get-together.

If friends aren't an option (no friends, no friends your age, in a different country, etc), why not take an extra-curricular activity which will involve interacting with people? I don't know, painting, photography classes, movie club, something like that. You never know when you're going to meet people, and I would advise you to keep in mind that not every person you meet has to be a potential date. Most of the girls I've dated I met them through mutual friends, so the more friends you have, the more chances you have of eventually meeting somebody you want to go out with on a date.

Hope that helps :)
 
U

Undeux

Member
-PXG- said:
BE. NICE. GAF.

Is it me, or have you guys become more rough lately? :lol
Click to expand...
I agree. My main piece of advice is to get in shape, because that can really make a massive difference in your confidence. Don't let anyone in this thread discourage you.
 
M

mrkgoo

Member
TacticalFox88 said:
Dude....being a man-whore gets old after awhile. When you find the right girl, you'll think settling down is the best decision you made in your life.

Sex with girls:Awesome
Sex with the one you love: HOLY FUCKING FANTASTIC!

Ask anyone on married GAF.
Click to expand...

Lies. Married people don't have sex.
 
C

Combine

Banned
Count Dookkake said:
If you want a boost in confidence, getting in shape is a good start. It won't guarantee a ticket to vaginaville, but it will make you feel better about yourself, which will help in the long run.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I made a comitment to this earlier in the year, mainly for health reasons (since I was a damn slug). Unfortunately it's been slower than I had hoped, but I guess my body was really out of shape. I suppose I should be happy I've lost most of the fat at least.

Thanks for the replies so far guys. It's helping a lot since I was in a bit of a funk.

EDIT: Damn, have to head offline for a bit. Thanks again though.
 
G

grap3fruitman

Banned
TacticalFox88 said:
Dude....being a man-whore gets old after awhile. When you find the right girl, you'll think settling down is the best decision you made in your life.
Click to expand...
Did you read the OP?

Jibril said:
29 is young. But you're a man now, settling down is the only thing you can and should do. Find someone you know in real life, forget this internet superficial boolsheet.
Click to expand...
2im5nog.png


Dear OP, you're asking one of the geekiest internet forums for dating advice, on a Friday night. Do you think the responses you'll get will be from people who know what they're talking about?

I'm in a similar situation, however not quite your age (22), and I've been asking the internet for advice for several years. Can you tell I'm bitter?
 
C

Count Dookkake

Member
Another good tip is to fuck your way to the top. Start with uglies and fatties, but don't get attached. Since they are not as attractive, you will not feel as nervous around them. They are also likelier to put out, generally speaking. Of course, be nice to them as they are humans, but learn some and move up the chain.
 
G

grap3fruitman

Banned
TacticalFox88 said:
He implied that he doesn't want to settle down, I say at 29, he shouldn't be out being a man-whore. That's for college days. He's practically a man now.
Click to expand...
How would he know who to settle down with if he doesn't have much dating experience? He doesn't know what kind of girl he's looking for so he's going to have to start from the beginning but you want to fit him for a tux already. And what if he doesn't want to get married? Not everyone has to.
 
F

FunkyPajamas

Member
I'm not one to spend time/money at the gym, but I do like to stay in shape, so I would recommend that as well.

Listen, the whole dating game is 80% mental and 40% physical, with maybe a 20-30% of sex thrown in there for good measure
I know it doesn't add up, that's why dating is so complex!
. You need to feel good so you can look good, capisce?

Also... I don't know, but the whole "be yourself" thing... it doesn't always work. I was horrible at social life. Way too much of a nerd, so I had to change a couple of things here and there before I could start interacting with girls in a way that was appealing to them. Yes, you don't want to create a false life or anything like that, it'll only mean trouble for you, but if you think there are things that you need to improve so you can start having a fulfilling sentimental life (and that means a different thing to everyone, so you have to know what you want as well), then go for it.

:) Go get 'em, tiger!
 
S

soultron

Banned
You're 29? You can start taking girls who're 25-27 on dates. You're not too old until your body tells you that you are, or you simply throw in the towel and think you are "old."

Start reading up some books, go to the gym, spice up your wardrobe, and so on. Start getting out there by playing pick up and coed sports, perhaps, just so that you can tighten up your general social skills. You might be able to meet women through the friends you make there.

You've got a year's worth of work, maybe more or less, ahead of you, but you can get there if you want it and are diligent about things.
 
T

TacticalFox88

Banned
grap3fruitman said:
How would he know who to settle down with if he doesn't have much dating experience? He doesn't know what kind of girl he's looking for so he's going to have to start from the beginning but you want to fit him for a tux already. And what if he doesn't want to get married? Not everyone has to.
Click to expand...
Well I said the one you love not necessarily married. I'm not talking about him not dating, he needs to. I'm purely talking about "dating" girls just to fuck them, not to get any experiences whatsoever and to learn from them.
 
C

Chinner

Banned
once you met a girl its probably best to communicate with her - introduce yourself with your real life name, do not give them your gaf username.
 
R

RevenantKioku

PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS oh god i am drowning in them
Just take it slow. Realize you're going to make tons of mistakes and there are going to be cases where you have no idea why she's stopped contacting you. Just live with it as there is nothing you can do. Sometimes there may have been something you could have done but it's done and over with and there are more people. This is going to be the hardest progress for you to make, trust me.

Forget anything about the numbers and the matchmaking and what the women say they want on the dating sites. If they look interesting to you (and that's not just physical appearance) send them a brief message. Just say anything. Your first few may feel awkward and that is because you are new to this. You are learning. And despite what you think, as long as you keep some courtesy they aren't going to report you to the police for being a creep. Know a popular coffee shop and after a message or two ask to meet there. Don't go for the "Let's chat on the internet for months." deal. This is a dating site. The idea is to actually meet people. If they don't want to meet in person, respect their opinion and thank them for their time. And move on.

Realize that they are both special in the way that they are a unique human being and just a person in general but don't respect them more than you respect yourself when all you know is a few things about them. Hell, it's probably the best to never treat someone better than you do yourself but just start with this simpler model. It sometimes feels really hard to control the feelings that you have. Start small.

When you do meet someone, just talk. Talk about anything and try to get a feel if this person interests you. She'll work out on her own if she's interested in you. Leave her to that. You have no reason to do things to try to "make" her like you. She'll figure out on her own if you meet her standards. Figure out if she meets yours.

It's hard, trust me. I went from being called a freak by girls as a child to finding a wonderful women who I want to spend my life with. Now, you may want different things and that's fine. Figure out what you want and look for it. Don't take something just because it is there but don't disrespect someone because they aren't what you want. And no matter how rude some people will be, and they will be rude, try your best to not let it bother you. And the only way you are going to get through this is going through it again and again. It sucks, but if you don't experience it you aren't going to know how to handle it. It will take time. There will be hard spots. But it's not impossible. You just have to try something any time you can as often as you can.
 
S

soultron

Banned
Chinner said:
once you met a girl its probably best to communicate with her - introduce yourself with your real life name, do not give them your gaf username.
Click to expand...
Oh, my name's Chinner. Nice to meet you!

What do I do for a living? Well, I'm a duck! How about you, you feisty minx?
 
N

notsol337

marked forever
Just get out there and date. Sure, you'll have some awkward ones but you'll gain confidence and experience! That's all you really need dude.

Practice!
 
M

Max@GC

Member
Since you generally make these experiences when you´re in your teenage days it will be a bit hard to talk to (mostly) experienced younger women in their 20s when it comes to love/sex talk - but with confidence, personality and some white lies it´s doable. Weed and/or Alcohol helped me for the first tries but you should cut that sooner or later if you think you´re ready for a serious relationship with someone you love. Oh and don´t be mr niceguy all the time nor be mr asshole superior - show her all your positive facets of your personality, be offensive/tease her but keep it real.

btw.: AlternativeUlster made a good point up there.;)
 
A

ArtG

Member
notsol337 said:
Just get out there and date. Sure, you'll have some awkward ones but you'll gain confidence and experience! That's all you really need dude.

Practice!
Click to expand...

This assumes he has a gaggle of women just waiting to date him.
 
F

ForzaItalia

Banned
Combine said:
Also, it seems most women on these sites who are my age are looking to "settle down" and that's exactly the opposite of what I want to do. :(
Click to expand...

No my friend. Women say that but most of them are just looking to get laid when it comes to the online scene...trust me
 
C

Cindres

Vied for a tag related to cocks, so here it is.
I wouldn't say go to the clubs etc. Given your status/situation they won't be your type clearly. Women at work, at regular bars if that might be your thing. I know people, a couple who are currently in long term relationships (i mean real long term), thanks to online dating.
Confidence is key, as the cliterus would say, chicks love confidence.
 
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