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What are some of the most ridiculous insults that have been directed at you?

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H

HiroProtagonist

Member
My friend Brian called me dickhole, then I got this message on youtube:

"I HATE GERMAN GAYS, YOU ARE ON E of THE;m I HOPE YOU SUCK A BALL, AND EAT AS HIT FOR YOU ARE ARE A DICKHOLES!!!!11 WHY ARE YOU STUPID, AND COMMENT ME FROM GERMANY, I HATE NAZIZS NASZI! SCHWEINEHUND!"

-vittunaamasusi

I took it as a sign and added dickhole to my normal rotation.
 
H

half a moon

Banned
Count Dookkake said:
Did they call him that?

Happened to me sometime in the 80s. Kid was ahead of his time.
Click to expand...
not to offend but bubba gets told to tuck his lip in so it doesn't get caught barbwire in a fence.
 
Blackace

Blackace

if you see me in a fight with a bear, don't help me fool, help the bear!
Count Dookkake said:
Did they call him that?

Happened to me sometime in the 80s. Kid was ahead of his time.
Click to expand...

unless it was the 1880s I would say the kid was just catching up
 
L

Liquid

Banned
when i was a kid my brother and i were giving my grandma a headache and she called us cock suckers. :lol 20 years later and i still laugh about it.
 
C

Count Dookkake

Member
half a moon said:
not to offend but bubba gets told to tuck his lip in so it doesn't get caught barbwire in a fence.
Click to expand...

No offence taken. It's not a regular insult I hear, that's why it is in the thread of ridiculous insults.

Blackace said:
unless it was the 1880s I would say the kid was just catching up
Click to expand...

I should have made the joke broader in my second post. Sorry.
 
Jinfash

Jinfash

needs 2 extra inches
i fought with a 50 y/o security guard in my uni's campus 5 years ago and called him a faggot (sorry i was a twat back then) he came back with (roughly traslated): "the faggot is my son that ur carrying inside of you"

that was the best/most offensive/twisted insult i've ever received and i had it coming :lol
 
C

Count Dookkake

Member
Jinfash said:
i fought with a 50 y/o security guard in my uni's campus 5 years ago and called him a faggot (sorry i was a twat back then) he came back with (roughly traslated): "the faggot is my son that ur carrying inside of you"

that was the best/most offensive/twisted insult i've ever received and i had it coming :lol
Click to expand...

Was that security guard the Iron Shiek?
 
G

Greatness Gone

Member
Jinfash said:
i fought with a 50 y/o security guard in my uni's campus 5 years ago and called him a faggot (sorry i was a twat back then) he came back with (roughly traslated): "the faggot is my son that ur carrying inside of you"

that was the best/most offensive/twisted insult i've ever received and i had it coming :lol
Click to expand...
:lol

I've been called a faggot several times at work, but I've never actually been called it because people knew I was gay. :)
 
Jinfash

Jinfash

needs 2 extra inches
Count Dookkake said:
Was that security guard the Iron Shiek?
Click to expand...

:lol omg come to think of it

Greatness Gone said:
:lol

I've been called a faggot several times at work, but I've never actually been called it because people knew I was gay. :)
Click to expand...

see as much of a twat i was i'm not the type to ever call a gay guy a faggot (in english) not now not back then... but as i said the stuff that got said between me and the guard is directly translated from arabic and "faggot" that got called back and forth was on the level of "bitch" not english "faggot".
 
P

PantherLotus

Professional Schmuck
1. Fuckhole is what my wife calls me. I like it and think of it with fondness at this point.

2. Some dipshit at work said "those shoes look pretty cheap honestly." It was casual Friday and I was wearing my brand new all-white Adidas. They were bad ass, he just doesn't know quality.

3. I never thought of it as an insult, but I once dated a girl who thought my thing was too big. She said, "If I had seen that first, we never would have started." I made sure to push a little harder that night. Much later, I realized it's kindofa mean thing to say. I mean, is my personality not good enough? :(
 
D

drohne

hyperbolically metafictive
once a guy leaned out of a car window, called me a faggot, and then asked me what time it was. that was confusing
 
Jinfash

Jinfash

needs 2 extra inches
drohne said:
once a guy leaned out of a car window, called me a faggot, and then asked me what time it was. that was confusing
Click to expand...

:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

i don't if it's because i'm sleepy or not but this has got to be the funniest thing i've read in gaf all week

so confused, he must be bi curious :lol
 
K

kozmo7

Truly deserves to shoot laserbeams from his eyes
Liquid said:
when i was a kid my brother and i were giving my grandma a headache and she called us cock suckers. :lol 20 years later and i still laugh about it.
Click to expand...

:lol That's a great one, I can picture some old lady with a New York accent yelling that one out.
 
J

Joe

Member
someone on xbox live told me they were going to shit on my mothers chest, spread it around then sprinkle corn flakes on it.
 
T

The_Dude

Member
I was once told I was like an ice cube, because I was both cool yet still a square.

pjberri said:
"Go to Starbucks, faggot!", from someone in a passing car.
Click to expand...
There sure are some crazy marketing schemes these days.
 
D

drohne

hyperbolically metafictive
Tristam said:
I have you all beat. When I was in high school the football players called the soccer players "grassfags."
Click to expand...

...what sort of surface did they think they were playing football on? :/
 
T

Tristam

Member
drohne said:
...what sort of surface did they think they were playing football on? :/
Click to expand...

IT'S TURF, DAWG!

OuterWorldVoice said:
Estroturf.
Click to expand...

The irony is that they never did play on any sort of artificial surface; they did indeed play on grass -- which is why "grassfag" can safely be filed under "ridiculous insults that have been directed at [me]." That, and it sounds fucking stupid.
 
N

Ninja Scooter

Member
i remember one time in like 6th grade some guy told me my mom looked like carl winslow. And it made everyone laugh...im stil scratching my head over that one.
 
A

aoi tsuki

Member
Some girl in 8th grade said i looked like a penis with a hat. All i could do was laugh, particularly since everyone called her "Waltreese the Wilderbeast".
 
N

Nilla

Banned
A really drunk guy was trying to pick a fight with me one night, and called me "four eyes".

I laughed it off, and told him that he'd have to do better than that.

You could almost *see* him thinking about it for a second or two, through his drunken stupor, and then he spluttered: "okay... EIGHT EYES!"

Genius.
 
D

drohne

hyperbolically metafictive
Nilla said:
A really drunk guy was trying to pick a fight with me one night, and called me "four eyes".

I laughed it off, and told him that he'd have to do better than that.

You could almost *see* him thinking about it for a second or two, through his drunken stupor, and then he spluttered: "okay... EIGHT EYES!"

Genius.
Click to expand...

8Eyes.jpg


i actually owned this game when i was a kid, and i can tell you that if somebody called me 'eight eyes' he'd definitely have a fight on his hands
 
R

Rezbit

Member
Liquid said:
when i was a kid my brother and i were giving my grandma a headache and she called us cock suckers. :lol 20 years later and i still laugh about it.
Click to expand...

:lol Oh my god, that's incredible!

Rarely I get the drive-by insult, but they're so hard to hear! I was walking with this girl once, and a dude yelled out "Is that your sister?!" (?)
 
K

kozmo7

Truly deserves to shoot laserbeams from his eyes
Ninja Scooter said:
i remember one time in like 6th grade some guy told me my mom looked like carl winslow. And it made everyone laugh...im stil scratching my head over that one.
Click to expand...

Hmm

reginald_people.jpg
 
A

Alfarif

This picture? uhh I can explain really!
Blackace said:
"You are cool for a black guy!"
Click to expand...

Got all kinds of variants of this:

"Whoa, you listen to rock? Never thought black people liked it."

"Man, you sure love them white girls." (in repsonse to my previous girlfriends and my current fiancee)

<3 People
 
A

Alfarif

This picture? uhh I can explain really!
Blackace said:
"You are cool for a black guy!"
Click to expand...

Got all kinds of variants of this:

"Whoa, you listen to rock? Never thought black people liked it."

"Man, you sure love them white girls." (in repsonse to my previous girlfriends and my current fiancee)

<3 People
 
P

prettyvacant77

Member
One of my mates takes great delight in calling me a "Cock-juggling-thunder-cunt" :lol :lol :lol

It's from Blade:Trinity (only good thing to come out of that movie...)
 
O

Olaeh

Member
I recently got:

"Look at that hippie... look at him, just look at him"

I found it strange considering I wasn't wearing a tie-dye shirt or smoking or anything...
 
K

kozmo7

Truly deserves to shoot laserbeams from his eyes
Olaeh said:
I recently got:

"Look at that hippie... look at him, just look at him"

I found it strange considering I wasn't wearing a tie-dye shirt or smoking or anything...
Click to expand...

Long hair? I've seen people [men] get called hippies for long hair. It's another one of those stupid insults that doesn't hold up
 
S

snacknuts

we all knew her
When I was in the 5th grade, a friend's dad called me a shithead because I was making fun of John Wayne.

And while it was not directed at me, a friend of mine was playing mini golf recently and said that somewhere on the course, someone had written, "Jordie is a twatwaffel." Take that, Jordie.
 
I

ItAintEasyBeinCheesy

it's 4th of July in my asshole
Some fat chick bout 6.6" acne, one lazy eye and just all round fucking hideous called me fat.......... i just went "WHAT!!!!!!" and lolled, then said dont eat me you ugly ogre bitch.
 
G

Grug

Member
I was at an Australian Rules Football match a couple of weeks ago. (Brisbane Lions vs Adelaide Crows)

An opposition supporter was being feral and shouting abuse at our players, swearing in front of children. I said something along the lines of "and who said Adelaide Crows supporters were feral eh?".

The guy turned on me and called me a racist.

:lol
 
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