Megalosaro
Banned
6 weeks is fine. Around 1 month seems like a good amount of time
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
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Subpar Scrub
Banned
Damn, no matches after I expended the first lot of swipes. Even skipped the girls I assumed were out of my league, too.
Mr Solo Dolo
Member
Create a new account, you'll be back to the top of the deck. Don't swipe, log out and leave it for a few days. Log back in, set your distance to 1 mile. Anyone that shows at being over 1 mile away has swiped right on you.
Hrmf, Friday date said she didn't feel the chemistry. I can kinda see it, we didn't have too much in common aside professional/academic interests and I would've had to carry the conversation too often.
Was going to get back into it tomorrow anyway, but a more successful (if not fully successful) date like that was a much-needed confidence booster.
Was going to get back into it tomorrow anyway, but a more successful (if not fully successful) date like that was a much-needed confidence booster.
Subpar Scrub
Banned
Should I really make a new account after just going through my first lot of swipes? Damn, okay thanks for the advice dude. Also, who should I link my account to check it out for me and how?
Edit: made a new account and did as you said
EchoChamber
Member
I matched with a girl but some photos are weird in some looks like she has a nice body but in some other photos looks a lot more fat...
Is there a nice way to let her know I want to see more of her before a date?
Is there a nice way to let her know I want to see more of her before a date?
Subpar Scrub
Banned
Go off the fat looking ones I guess. Or just ask for a full body shot.
Also it's annoying swiping through 5 photos only to find the last one shows them being a lot bigger. Like, I know what you're doing. You're putting deceiving photos up as the first four hoping someone will swipe right before they see the one you uploaded so that you can say "yeah, I'm a bigger person, there was a picture of my full body at the end, I'm not a liar."
I swiped right on a few bigger girls because it was one of the first photos in their list and they acknowledged it in their bios. Being deceitful about your appearance shows that you're deceitful and untrustworthy, which I really don't want haha.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Idk if my willingness to share with ppl online is a bad thing or not but
I've never been good or even had a lick of experience with this stuff(wasnt able to actually start thinking about it seriously until I was 16 and came out) and ive never even asked someone out lol (irl, was recently rejected by a online friend which made me more determined to find someone) so im both clueless and desperate
One question I have is, is it normal for matches on dating apps to not message? I'd just chalk it up to ppl not finding me attractive but to have MATCHED they'd have had to swiped right anyway. Unless everyone is just as introverted and shy as me lol
I've never been good or even had a lick of experience with this stuff(wasnt able to actually start thinking about it seriously until I was 16 and came out) and ive never even asked someone out lol (irl, was recently rejected by a online friend which made me more determined to find someone) so im both clueless and desperate
One question I have is, is it normal for matches on dating apps to not message? I'd just chalk it up to ppl not finding me attractive but to have MATCHED they'd have had to swiped right anyway. Unless everyone is just as introverted and shy as me lol
LucidMomentum
Member
PancakeBurglar
Member
Went on a second date with a girl yesterday we grabbed lunch and went to the science museum, I think it went well. We discussed a third date going mini golfing Tuesday but the place seems like it isn't open Tuesday so I'm trying to think of ideas to replace that. I'd like something more intimate like inviting her over and watching a movie, make dinner, drink some wine kind of stuff, but I don't want to come across as though I'm just looking for a hookup. Any insight on how I can approach this? I guess every situation is different but I want to make sure I handle this the right way.
LucidMomentum
Member
If it's closed, y'all can plan from there! See if she's the kind of person to handle spontaneity well.
Also if you like her, what's wrong with a hookup? Maybe she wants one too
That helps lift some burden off my self esteem a bit, thanks lol. I need to swallow my anxiety and just message next time.
edit: a related question, advice for what to send in the first message? I'm as new to this as a person could be and I don't wanna come off as weird
I'm probably thinking too hard about it
Beren the Empty-Handed
Member
Oh yeah, I totally get it. Which is why I want to do the second date - we should be able to relax more and see if we gel.
PancakeBurglar
Member
We decided to go to a barcade which should be fun but I still want to get her into a more intimate situation.
Arrange to pick her up and drive over together. When you drop her off, there's opportunity for making out in a slightly less public place (in your car), and she might invite you inside.
PancakeBurglar
Member
I'm already going to pick her up, we've kissed a few times but haven't had a straight make out session yet with her. I need to test the more sexual intimacy with her but I also hate being pushy about it.
LucidMomentum
Member
There are ways to ask for consent that aren't just "yo let's make out b."
Tease her a bit, if y'all have kissed a bit try and make it last a bit longer, be honest when you want to get a little more action going.
I mean if she digs you, she digs you.
If you never test the limits, how do you know what they are? Whenever you get to the point you usually stop at, push a little further. Stop when she tells you to (either physically or verbally).
Third date, a little making out is on the table. Remember: Fortune favors the bold. (But not the stupid. Don't just whip it out.)
Blitzrules240
Banned
I think my Tinder is broken. No matches and no responses to matches...
Or it's me.
My best bro was talking about how many girls he's talking to and how he's excited for his party bus. I'm happy for him, he might be finally getting over his ex.
Think I'll wingman for him and hope Karma brings me something in return.
Or it's me.
My best bro was talking about how many girls he's talking to and how he's excited for his party bus. I'm happy for him, he might be finally getting over his ex.
Think I'll wingman for him and hope Karma brings me something in return.
artsi
Member
Sorry dude.
Not you as a person probably, but the answer to this is pretty much always that you need better photos and bio.
Subpar Scrub
Banned
Do you have a suggestion for a good bio layout? I don't know if mine is any good.
Mr Solo Dolo
Member
Just make it something short, bold and unique to you.
I constantly look miserable, I'm not one for smiling in photos so my bio reads "Don't let the resting bitch face and tattoo of a depressed alcoholic' failed suicide attempt fool you. I've been joyful enough to appear on telly wearing a Space Jam tracksuit". I get plenty of girls messaging me first asking either about the tracksuit or the tattoo.
Any girl with a bio longer than the Bible is an instant left swipe for me.
Subpar Scrub
Banned
Okay, cheers dude. Man there's some unbelievably particular "wants" in some of these bios. Like shopping for a build-it-yourself partner haha, it's insane.
Anyway, no matches on the primary account yet. Will check out the secondary one tomorrow. Might add some more photos and tweak the bio too.
Edit: No matches on either. I had a strong feeling this would happen, but it still stings a bit haha. :/
Krauser Kat
Member
Had a fantastic 4th date with the girl. I haven't had the exclusive talk but, I stopped seeing everyone else.
Now im getting anxiety of it being early still. If it doesnt work out then ill be out of the game for awhile. I went really hard and need some time to working projects i let sit too long.
Now im getting anxiety of it being early still. If it doesnt work out then ill be out of the game for awhile. I went really hard and need some time to working projects i let sit too long.
LookAtMeGo
Member
I cant cuddle anymore. It never really bothered me in the past if I wasnt "with" the person but the last while anyone tries to cuddle and I feel like I am crawling out of my skin and have to excuse myself from the room.
Am I developing intimacy issues? Same with kissing. Any time someone tries to make out I feel weird. Last few times anyone tried to kiss me on the lips I turn my head.
But I'm ok with sex still.
Am I developing intimacy issues? Same with kissing. Any time someone tries to make out I feel weird. Last few times anyone tried to kiss me on the lips I turn my head.
But I'm ok with sex still.
Huh, first experiences on Tinder have been alright. I have a weird discourse going on with this girl I messaged awhile back. I've got my liberal leanings mentioned in my bio, and after I messaged her, she got back to me saying she was a hardcore conservative. I replied, told her "that's why I mention it, thanks for being cool and not insulting" and tried to amiably cut off communication.
She's messaged me several more times though and is still trying to engage. She's made it clear she's a Trump supporter, doesn't believe the media, is definitely not a bigot/racist etc. and is instead a lover & intellectual.
I'm not about to get into a debate on Tinder, and it seems like meeting in person would just be a hostile endeavor (she's also 24 and I'm 32, which is right at my cutoff). Then I wonder "what if all that political angst and emotional frustration manifested as some truly earth shattering sex?" I mean...what's the worst that could happen?
She's messaged me several more times though and is still trying to engage. She's made it clear she's a Trump supporter, doesn't believe the media, is definitely not a bigot/racist etc. and is instead a lover & intellectual.
I'm not about to get into a debate on Tinder, and it seems like meeting in person would just be a hostile endeavor (she's also 24 and I'm 32, which is right at my cutoff). Then I wonder "what if all that political angst and emotional frustration manifested as some truly earth shattering sex?" I mean...what's the worst that could happen?
Mediking
Member
Politics shouldn't get in the way of romance.
And it sounds like... she's interested in talking with you.
Haloid1177
Banned
Got included in a friend's snapchat last week and one of his friends wants to meet for drinks tonight with me apparently. Figured what the hell, why not. Usually avoid going out with friends of friends but we'll see where it goes.
Mediking
Member
Sounds like someone is beginning to feel like intimacy is better reserved for something... real.
It theory it shouldn't An ex of mine (we were together for almost 3 years) was a very dedicated libertarian with a strong admiration of Ayn Rand. It was an issue, which is probably why I'm hesitant here.
I guess for short term endeavors I can probably throw this stuff out, but if I'm pursuing a LTR it's definitely relevant.
Mediking
Member
LookAtMeGo
Member
I get that. But like.. usually kissing is just another part of having sex. You usually make out before you fuck but I dont even feel comfortable doing that. And I wouldnt mind if a girl would lay naked with me in bed after sex until the morning when one of us would leave. But I cant even do that. Its either I'm leaving or she is leaving.
I guess thats what it is. Just never really been much of an issue with me in the past. It kinda makes me feel like an asshole when a girl goes to kiss me after having sex and I'm like ew no go away.
Eh. I guess thats maybe how I will know I'm into someone more than just for sex when I feel comfortable doing those things with them.
Edit: Just found this at my work. Totally putting it on my bedroom door or something.
Megalosaro
Banned
I need one of you guys to slap the shit out of me.
I am having weird thoughts today. Acting on it would probably be bad. Or good. But probably mistake.
I am having weird thoughts today. Acting on it would probably be bad. Or good. But probably mistake.
artsi
Member
Tell us?
Megalosaro
Banned
I kind of want to ask her about moving in together. It's so early though. Maybe not move in right away, but at least discuss what pieces need to line up to make it happen
timetokill
Banned
Haloid1177
Banned
Bruh it's too early don't do.
Puck Beaverton
Banned
It's been 3 months
I'm sorry Mediking, I died.
I'm posting from beyond the grave.
I actually originally typed 'gravy' if that helps lighten the mood
I've just had a busy week at work which brought my grumpy threshold beyond the point in which I can give reasonable advice without being TOO mean. That and it ate up my GAF time. I'm hiding in various Discords atm lol
Take care of that asshole roommate first
Megalosaro
Banned
Yeah I know. I was at work and the thought piped in my head. " sure would be nice to wake up every day next to her"
And then I was like "bruh, chill your shit"
And then I was like "bruh, chill your shit"
LookAtMeGo
Member
Probably not the best move mega. On one hand, at least you would know if you can live together or not now rather than later. On the other hand its a pretty stupid thing to do at this stage and could ruin what you got going on just for brining it up.
Mediking
Member
Hahahaha! I hope you don't get stressed out at work and hey! We love your savage advice!
LucidMomentum
Member
Aww, you like her!
But yeah, you need to get rid of the less than stellar roommate before that's even a thought.
Even then, you need more than a couple months to consider her moving in IMO.
Having a hard time not getting myself in one of those "Don't shit where you eat" situations, with a twist - forgive the long post, I know that it's pretty telling, but... ugh.
I recently started working as an intern at a pretty big company (dream job so far, even), where I met a fellow intern from another area (I'm in an engineering-related area, she's in a finances-related one). She's literally the cutest girl I have ever met. Really, literally.
While I thought I wouldn't meet her again, we have met a couple of times during breaks in the cafeteria, so I decided to go talk to her for a bit the other day and she suggested we should have a coffe at some point.
She wants me to introduce her to my group of fellow interns, I do realize that, since she doesn't seem to have many friends her age in her area, but all this is making it hard on me.
Have been reading "Models" by Mark Manson (Awesome book by the way, found it while reading the OP, thanks for recommending it), and I'm not sure wether I'm making excuses to numb my truth ('feelings' doesn't really fit here), being rational and avoiding possible drama, protecting myself from rejection or what. Such a clusterfuck over a few stares, handwaves and her looks - first time this happens, I feel shallow as a puddle, to boot.
A couple frinds of mine definitely felt the same way at some point - Some people see kissing as a romantic interaction, while they see sex as a pleasurable interaction with no strings attached.
I think the bolded is what it boils down to, but if you are a bit uncomfortable with the fact, spare a few minutes to think "why" you are uncomfortable. Seems trivial, but it can go a long way.
I recently started working as an intern at a pretty big company (dream job so far, even), where I met a fellow intern from another area (I'm in an engineering-related area, she's in a finances-related one). She's literally the cutest girl I have ever met. Really, literally.
While I thought I wouldn't meet her again, we have met a couple of times during breaks in the cafeteria, so I decided to go talk to her for a bit the other day and she suggested we should have a coffe at some point.
She wants me to introduce her to my group of fellow interns, I do realize that, since she doesn't seem to have many friends her age in her area, but all this is making it hard on me.
Have been reading "Models" by Mark Manson (Awesome book by the way, found it while reading the OP, thanks for recommending it), and I'm not sure wether I'm making excuses to numb my truth ('feelings' doesn't really fit here), being rational and avoiding possible drama, protecting myself from rejection or what. Such a clusterfuck over a few stares, handwaves and her looks - first time this happens, I feel shallow as a puddle, to boot.
A couple frinds of mine definitely felt the same way at some point - Some people see kissing as a romantic interaction, while they see sex as a pleasurable interaction with no strings attached.
I think the bolded is what it boils down to, but if you are a bit uncomfortable with the fact, spare a few minutes to think "why" you are uncomfortable. Seems trivial, but it can go a long way.
I mean, I can definitely see why you'd think about it. With you two living together, you can split costs while not having to rely on a roommate, or her mom to live. And I mean, y'all would have the place to yourselves.
But yeah, it's too early for that. That would put quite a strain on a budding relationship.
lol you're a sweetheart. I rarely get stressed, my mood is basically determined in "how much do I want to murder everyone". The murder rage has passed.
Well I guess that is stress. Meh
Megalosaro
Banned
In any case, she just moved into her current place and her lade doesn't expire until april
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