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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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I guess that what it does boil down to is that I'm not into these girls romantically. It is definitely weird how uncomfortable I feel when a girl has tried to snuggle up to me lately. I'm pretty sure being pretty fresh out of a nightmare of a breakup with my most recent ex and being a bit of an emotional wreck over it mixed with the fact that I miss having that kind of connection with someone... Im definitely getting tired of the one night stands. I'm even bored of the FWB situations going on. I already blew a few of those by being a bitter grump lol.

I'm sure I just need a break. I did tell one girl that asked me out that I am just not ready for dating anyone right now. But I cant say no sometimes. I'm thinking of going hermit for a while but I might wait until the summer is over. Spend all winter focusing on getting in shape and shit and then maybe try again next summer.
 

Peltz

Member
I guess that what it does boil down to is that I'm not into these girls romantically. It is definitely weird how uncomfortable I feel when a girl has tried to snuggle up to me lately. I'm pretty sure being pretty fresh out of a nightmare of a breakup with my most recent ex and being a bit of an emotional wreck over it mixed with the fact that I miss having that kind of connection with someone... Im definitely getting tired of the one night stands. I'm even bored of the FWB situations going on. I already blew a few of those by being a bitter grump lol.

I'm sure I just need a break. I did tell one girl that asked me out that I am just not ready for dating anyone right now. But I cant say no sometimes. I'm thinking of going hermit for a while but I might wait until the summer is over. Spend all winter focusing on getting in shape and shit and then maybe try again next summer.
Have you tried anal?

jk. You do you man.
 
Have you tried anal?

jk. You do you man.

I did actually. It was difficult. Something about the first time I met someone wanting me to put it in her butt was a bit of a turnoff tho. Like it was hot but I was like ehhhh about meeting up again. Not kink shaming or anything and nothing against her but I was like ok. Then after I was like uhhh I dunno bout this, it got a bit crazy. She did have a real nice house tho with an infinity pool and hot roomates. Come to think of it I should probably call her again.
 
Trying to plan a 5th date. Her school is ramping up and she won't have much time. I also don't want to stress her out.

Trying to think of a way to ask when she could get dinner and then maybe work on projects together since we're both artists.
 
Got a couple of matches but neither have responded to messages, I'm currently switching between two accounts which are basically duplicates. Sucks that you can't rewind or see who swipes you on tinder without paying a ridiculous amount. Over $40 a month where I live, fuck that.
 

Orb

Member
Just had an older dude message me on Grindr and said my mother's family's last name asking if I was one of them, feel a tad creeped out lol. Is that creepy? Idk, I feel like if he hadn't said that I'd have considered him even with the age difference
 
Just had an older dude message me on Grindr and said my mother's family's last name asking if I was one of them, feel a tad creeped out lol. Is that creepy? Idk, I feel like if he hadn't said that I'd have considered him even with the age difference
I dunno. It would creep me out a bit for sure. How would he know this?
 

Orb

Member
I dunno. It would creep me out a bit for sure. How would he know this?

My family(aunts/mom/cousins mostly) are kinda infamous in our small town. Pretty much everyone grew up together and I look a lot like my cousin

Though, knowing the ppl that my family knows, im better off not talking to him lol
 
I matched with a girl and we are chatting fine in the app but then she drops the bomb... She is under age :(

The amount of girls listed as 18 who then put that they're 15 or 16 in their bios is crazy... also a lot of girls who are 19 or 20 in their profile with "I'm not 19" at the end of their bio... like, okay, but how old are you?
 
So Sunday's hike with the lady for a first date went well. The drive there was longer than I thought it would be though, something like an hour and a half going and two coming back but it was cool. Was not nervous to be around each other and we talked a good bit during the drive and hike. So thumbs up to that.

Was really pretty, went to the top of a volcano crater lake. Only ones there aside from some tourists from Hong Kong when we were coming down. Got a casual dinner after too so all in all a good one!

Gonna hang out again soon when I get back from my trip to Hokkaido and she gets back from Seoul, this time we agreed on something more relaxing like a movie haha. It was SOOOO damn hot having to walk up that mountain in 95% humidity @.@

Also... randomly had an fun errand run with a pretty lady I work with. All the old men in the office love her because shes cute and pretty, but when we were running around together monday talking turns out shes quite the hardcore gamer and anime watcher haha. Even has her own youtube stream for Destiny! #whoknew. Think shes married though... fun to talk to though.
 

Mediking

Member
I will do that, and now she is telling me she is using the app to find friends...hahaha come on this is a fucking dating app you don't use one to find friends, especially male friends.

A bored teen that's gonna get some guy in trouble. Lol just terrible

So Sunday's hike with the lady for a first date went well. The drive there was longer than I thought it would be though, something like an hour and a half going and two coming back but it was cool. Was not nervous to be around each other and we talked a good bit during the drive and hike. So thumbs up to that.

Was really pretty, went to the top of a volcano crater lake. Only ones there aside from some tourists from Hong Kong when we were coming down. Got a casual dinner after too so all in all a good one!

Gonna hang out again soon when I get back from my trip to Hokkaido and she gets back from Seoul, this time we agreed on something more relaxing like a movie haha. It was SOOOO damn hot having to walk up that mountain in 95% humidity @.@

Also... randomly had an fun errand run with a pretty lady I work with. All the old men in the office love her because shes cute and pretty, but when we were running around together monday talking turns out shes quite the hardcore gamer and anime watcher haha. Even has her own youtube stream for Destiny! #whoknew. Think shes married though... fun to talk to though.

I've had feelings for a woman who was already in a relationship before. It's painful as heck but let it go.
 

KUON.0101

Member
So I got some calls last night and I felt like sharing this story. Some guys just don't know when to give up.

Background:
I started talking to a guy from OKCupid about a year ago. He is in the Navy, so he was only in town for the weekend, so the plan was to possibly hook up before he went home. We texted, snapchatted, and talked on the phone a little, and he asked permission to call, pretty typical dating stuff. Schedules didn't work out, so we weren't able to meet and he got a little desperate—he even asked if I could pick him up really late and have sex in my car, to which I politely declined, not on my leather seats. He went back home the next day and wanted to keep in touch, so he added me to Facebook and followed my Instagram—not really unusual to me because other guys I've met through casual relations have added me and there haven't been any issues at all.

He'd try to sexy snapchat with me here and there and I asked him to stop, he apologized and kept it PG from that point. He messaged me way too often, and it was friendly but it was starting to annoy me. But everything was cordial by that point so I didn't have a good reason to tell him off, so I just asked him to hit me up less. I'm busy and introverted, and I'm not always in the mood to talk. But after that, he started trying to call me without notice. Always twice—I often miss phone calls. It was starting to really put me off.

Then one day, he was in town again. I busy for a few hours and when I finally got a chance to check my phone, I had 2 calls on my regular number, 2 calls through fb (I didn't even know you could call people through fb messenger!), and messages on fb, IG, snapchat, and texts. This behavior set off all my nopenopenope alarms, so I told him that I was unavailable to meet, and that it was inappropriate and scary to spam me like that. He said sorry, still tried to see if there was some way we could meet, and I said no. He messaged me a little bit to talk a little bit after that, and I stopped responding, and he began asking if I was ignoring him with little frustrated emojis. He eventually decided to bomb all my accounts with calls and messages again when he was back in town, so I went ahead and blocked him on everything we were connected on and moved on. This was about 6 months ago.

Fast forward to last night, and I get 2 phone calls from a number I don't recognize. Normally, I just google the number and ignore it, but I was pissed off and wondering who would call at such an odd hour so I texted and asked:
QjzkSUgl.jpg


It was him.

I've never met this guy and he says he misses me.

What. the. fuck.

Has anyone else ever dealt with anyone like this?

I have dealt/deal with something like that.

It reached a point in where she send me a threat letter to my workplace. In which she tells me how she ("they") will murder me and my family. I had to go to the Police last week.

I have never met this person. We have talked briefly on instagram and whatsapp (maybe for 3 or 4 weeks casually) and I refused to get coffee with her like 1,5 years ago. During this 1,5 years I had to change my phone number, delete my IG, FB and Linkedin account.

I am not handsome nor rich. People are crazy.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
 
Not to be an ass, but why is it the girls on the bigger side that seem to have so many checklists and "I need a man who isn't cheap and will treat me like a princess" bullshit? Fark me.

Anyway, I've gotten a handful of matches now but they seem somewhat slow to respond. Spending the time to be particular about my swipes must have worked because I'm seeing more and more people who I actually want to talk to popping up.
 
I guess that what it does boil down to is that I'm not into these girls romantically. It is definitely weird how uncomfortable I feel when a girl has tried to snuggle up to me lately. I'm pretty sure being pretty fresh out of a nightmare of a breakup with my most recent ex and being a bit of an emotional wreck over it mixed with the fact that I miss having that kind of connection with someone... Im definitely getting tired of the one night stands. I'm even bored of the FWB situations going on. I already blew a few of those by being a bitter grump lol.

I'm sure I just need a break. I did tell one girl that asked me out that I am just not ready for dating anyone right now. But I cant say no sometimes. I'm thinking of going hermit for a while but I might wait until the summer is over. Spend all winter focusing on getting in shape and shit and then maybe try again next summer.

I did actually. It was difficult. Something about the first time I met someone wanting me to put it in her butt was a bit of a turnoff tho. Like it was hot but I was like ehhhh about meeting up again. Not kink shaming or anything and nothing against her but I was like ok. Then after I was like uhhh I dunno bout this, it got a bit crazy. She did have a real nice house tho with an infinity pool and hot roomates. Come to think of it I should probably call her again.
From wanting to go hermit to calling up some girl, in the span of a few hours. Damn.
 

Mediking

Member
Question for datingGAF, would you date a woman with a voice that sounded like a man?

Yooooo there's Pattycakes! Haven't seen you in quite a while!

To answer your question: I'm single and desperate and- lol

But seriously. Personality and stuff is whats important. Is there any examples of the voice and how it sounds? Maybe a comparison?
 

Raptomex

Member
Maybe, maybe not. I would ne a pretty bug turn off for aure. I like a little bit of a deep voice but not top much. I still want it to be feminine
Yeah, I think if she sounded like John DiMaggio, that would be a bit of an issue for me. But it would also be pretty funny.
 

Mediking

Member
Maybe, maybe not. I would ne a pretty bug turn off for aure. I like a little bit of a deep voice but not top much. I still want it to be feminine

I was friends with some girls in high school and college who had deep voices. It was actually kinda hot. They all had one thing in common... they played basketball or something.
 

Salamando

Member
Question for datingGAF, would you date a woman with a voice that sounded like a man?

Yes. Well, as long as she didn't sound like my brothers. I do not want to accidentally call my brothers sexy.

My experience with women with deep, man'ish voices - jarring at first, quickly gotten over. It's not even that it's man'ish, it wasn't what I expected, and then just becomes their voice.
 
Maybe, maybe not. I would ne a pretty bug turn off for aure. I like a little bit of a deep voice but not top much. I still want it to be feminine

Yeah, I'm afraid of the turn off aspect. My voice doesn't sound feminine at all. Like ~100hz pitch. I'm working on it thru vocal training, but hestitant to speak and go on dates because of it. I'm also looking at the possibility of a voice surgery in South Korea too, but that would be at least a year out.
 

Mediking

Member
Yeah, I'm afraid of the turn off aspect. My voice doesn't sound feminine at all. Like ~100hz pitch. I'm working on it thru vocal training, but hestitant to speak and go on dates because of it. I'm also looking at the possibility of a voice surgery in South Korea too, but that would be at least a year out.

?! Voice surgery???? I agree with what Salamando said below! Your voice IS your voice. Nothing to be ashamed of. Embrace it.

Yes. Well, as long as she didn't sound like my brothers. I do not want to accidentally call my brothers sexy.

My experience with women with deep, man'ish voices - jarring at first, quickly gotten over. It's not even that it's man'ish, it wasn't what I expected, and then just becomes their voice.
 

gaiages

Banned
Yeah, I'm afraid of the turn off aspect. My voice doesn't sound feminine at all. Like ~100hz pitch. I'm working on it thru vocal training, but hestitant to speak and go on dates because of it. I'm also looking at the possibility of a voice surgery in South Korea too, but that would be at least a year out.

But you're ignoring all the posts saying they don't care/would only be jarring for a little bit :p
 
Yeah, I'm afraid of the turn off aspect. My voice doesn't sound feminine at all. Like ~100hz pitch. I'm working on it thru vocal training, but hestitant to speak and go on dates because of it. I'm also looking at the possibility of a voice surgery in South Korea too, but that would be at least a year out.
While this is a platitude, I think your anxiety can lead to a bigger turn off than someone else's preference. Sure, it can be jarring to some people, but so what? Given your insight on the subject I guess you worry about this a lot (I myself became an expert in my own issue) but eventually you're doing yourself a disservice by obsessing over it.
 

Salamando

Member
Sorry. I wasn't trying to ignore anyone. Thank you all for the replies and insight.

Like most issues in this thread, the problem is less severe than you think it is. That feeds into a cycle of self-doubt and lowered confidence that will be all-too evident on dates.

No one needs surgery to be date-able. No one.
 

Peltz

Member
Not to be an ass, but why is it the girls on the bigger side that seem to have so many checklists and "I need a man who isn't cheap and will treat me like a princess" bullshit? Fark me.
They're literally gluttons.

Question for datingGAF, would you date a woman with a voice that sounded like a man?

If Adriana Lima sounded like a man, yes, I'd still date her.

Barring an exceptional circumstance, however, no.
 
Not to be an ass, but why is it the girls on the bigger side that seem to have so many checklists and "I need a man who isn't cheap and will treat me like a princess" bullshit? Fark me.

Are you swiping right on them? No? Then tbh who cares? This is one of those things where I feel like pointing it out is trying to be an ass.
 

Raptomex

Member
Not to be an ass, but why is it the girls on the bigger side that seem to have so many checklists and "I need a man who isn't cheap and will treat me like a princess" bullshit? Fark me.

Anyway, I've gotten a handful of matches now but they seem somewhat slow to respond. Spending the time to be particular about my swipes must have worked because I'm seeing more and more people who I actually want to talk to popping up.
They're literally gluttons.
I've seen this a lot, too, but from women of all sizes. I'm not attracted to bigger women, myself, but even the ones I do find attractive, if I see a crazy or long list of specifications, I usually just move on. I mean it's cool to be honest about what you want but I think everyone should keep things in perspective. Nobody's perfect, either.

Many women seem to put in "not here for sex" or "no, I will not send nudes", and things like that. I let that go because I can only imagine the messages they get from some random dudes.
 
Getting that feeling I'm being slowly faded by the girl I've been dating lately, we've got a date later this evening but so far all our interactions between now and our last date seem to be a lot less enthusiastic and more distant from her part. I guess we'll see later but I'm not getting my hopes up.
 
What's really good with all these women from New Rochelle, Long Beach liking me? Girl I'm in Manhattan and I'm not going to venture off to the middle of nowhere.

I guess they like the aventura flow, oh well next time.. just makes me wonder if I lived in those places how I would be mackin �� Lol
 
I've seen this a lot, too, but from women of all sizes. I'm not attracted to bigger women, myself, but even the ones I do find attractive, if I see a crazy or long list of specifications, I usually just move on. I mean it's cool to be honest about what you want but I think everyone should keep things in perspective. Nobody's perfect, either.

Many women seem to put in "not here for sex" or "no, I will not send nudes", and things like that. I let that go because I can only imagine the messages they get from some random dudes.

That's my experience as well. I don't deal with entitlement.
 

War Peaceman

You're a big guy.
Question for datingGAF, would you date a woman with a voice that sounded like a man?

Honestly that seems like the kind of thing you notice when a person first speaks and never again. If I enjoy talking to a person I would be so engrossed in the actual conversation to not notice.

I dated someone with a thick accent and never noticed it (I knew she had one, I just didn't hear it) until she spoke to me on the phone where I didn't have the body language aspect of communication. Maybe I am the weird one here, but I don't see it as a problem.
 

Jhoan

Member
Not to be an ass, but why is it the girls on the bigger side that seem to have so many checklists and "I need a man who isn't cheap and will treat me like a princess" bullshit? Fark me.

Anyway, I've gotten a handful of matches now but they seem somewhat slow to respond. Spending the time to be particular about my swipes must have worked because I'm seeing more and more people who I actually want to talk to popping up.
Lmao! I dunno...I was matched up with a thicker girl who's very simple and doesn't list any of the above. She has a full body pic in the beach and looks like she gives 0 fucks. I'm attracted to that so I'll probably message her on a whim. It's one thing to be a bigger girl but it's another thing to take full pics of your body and feel comfortable in it.

Second thing: YMMV. Some girls only reply when they're bored or you should ask them out ASAP. The 37 year old I'm meeting up later this week (see below) kept replying instantly so it was super easy to get her number and set something up.
What's really good with all these women from New Rochelle, Long Beach liking me? Girl I'm in Manhattan and I'm not going to venture off to the middle of nowhere.

I guess they like the aventura flow, oh well next time.. just makes me wonder if I lived in those places how I would be mackin �� Lol
New Roc City? Pssh! If they have a car or you're not looking for anything serious, fuck it, make the trip to see something new. It's a hassle in the cold though.

So I finally got a breakthrough and made out on a date I had earlier with a law student. We couldn't take our hands off each other so it went quite well but here's the catch: She's leaving the city for a full year in September to do research in South Africa. I told her I was okay with that so I will enjoy the ride while it lasts. ;)

I could have taken her back to my place today to watch Master of None but I chose to go volunteer at an event so I won't have to cook. Next time I can see her will be after Sunday because a friend of hers is visiting for the next 5 days.
Someone please tell me I did the right choice because I swear I will turn around and go back uptown to right this. 😦
Peltz was right about messaging girls outright to ask them out because while I've had mixed success, it worked here.

I realized that I needed to shut the hell up because she was super into me and wanted to make out. No overthinking it in the damn moment.

I'm slated to meet up with a 37 year old on Friday night so the dates are trickling in. She messaged me first after getting mutually liked.
 
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