Hey, OP, don't over think the stuff like shaving and sex. The end goals are clean look and a happy, positive sex life. How you get to both will be different than others, and as long as the process is not harming anyone, you're good.
That dude at work is creepy. It's not a problem that he made you uncomfortable.
Being a man is about strength but not the strength to beat up biker gangs, its about the strength to be who you are! even if you sew dolls and sell them in your old hag moms textile shop
OP, shave whatever way you want. Learn more about interest VERY important. I don't have experience at sex, but the most worrying part is to BRING protection. Mistakes happen and you'll learn and get better from them, but a child would be a big one lol And the worker thing is very strange. Not at all normal if you aren't friends with the guy.
My first piece of advice is to grow out a beard and get an electric razor. If you keep it clean, it looks sharp and you can be lazier than shaving. You'll still need a regular razor to shave the neck and such, but it's only a small line.
Second, that dude is creepy. If you feel weird about something, then don't put up with it, but don't make them feel bad about it. It's just not worth it.
Third, sex is easy and not a big deal. I was a virgin until 25 as well. The girl I slept with found it super hot and wanted to make sure it was great, so, yeah. There's that.
Interest is also simple. Say I need $1000 for a car, you have $1000, and I promise I'll pay you back. What's the incentive for you to lend me the money? There is none. Interest gives you an incentive. You say you'll give me $1000 now if I give you $1100 back in a year. That $100 is interest. You'll see it as a percent. It's basically payment for "you give me money now and you'll get a little something for it".
Regarding sex. First time's always a bit of a shambles, and no matter what countless movies and such may have told you, you'll be no more or less of a 'man' after your first time. I was early-to-mid twenties when I first did it, had no idea what I was doing and was generally useless, but that learning is in a way part of the fun. Don't make it into a big deal: at its best, it's a lot of fun and, with someone you care about, a nice moment of intimacy. Nothing more than that. Don't idealise, don't think of it as life-changing, don't try too hard, definitely don't copy porn (although, IMO, watching lesbian porn has been quite handy for enhancing kissing/oral technique) and just act in the moment. If you ejaculate too soon or not at all, don't worry. It happens. The latter happened to me the first couple of times and freaked me out, but as I grew more comfortable and stopped stressing, my body responded in kind.
And while I'm sure plenty will contest this, if you're really feeling pressure to lose your virginity and have some cash to hand, you could do a lot worse than hiring an escort - just do a little research first to find a good 'un, and don't go plucking some poor girl off a street corner. Through various social machinations, some university friends and I ended up hiring sex workers after a night out, and while I was still in my 'stressed about failure' phase, the girl put me at ease, had seen it happen to other guys and knew what she was doing. Turned out to be a fabulous night, and I got to test out a fetish as well. Like I said, take the time to hire the right person - same as any service provider, really: look for reviews online - and you'll be golden. Also remember that price has no correlation to quality.
EDIT: And as annoying as they are, use a condom. If you do end up hiring an escort, never EVER hire one who offers bareback. That way demons lie.
1. With wet shaves, you really have to take your time at first until you've familiarised yourself with the shape of your chin and the growth pattern of the hair. Even then, the most important things are:
* Do not use a dull blade
* Get your skin warm and moist, so the pores open up and the skin is softer. Make sure the blade is warm, as well.
* Never use force when shaving. If the blade is decent, it'll get the hair by just letting it glide over the skin. One thing that helps here is trimming before you shave. You probably shouldn't do a wet shave if your hair is more than stubble.
2. You are not required to indulge your co-worker. In fact, him still having compromising pictures of a former lover and showing them around without her knowledge or consent is incredibly scummy. If it makes you uncomfortable, just tell the guy, and that should be it.
3. Not a big deal, at all. If you're nervous, just be honest about it. I don't think I've ever met anyone who actually made a big deal out of their partner being a virgin before they met. To be honest, many couples have to find a common rhythm first, anyway, regardless of how much experience they might have.
4. Interest is basically extra money you pay on a loan over time. The interest rate is usually a percentage of the money you owe, and the amount you owe increases by that much every year. Thus, if you have a higher interest rate, the total amount increases more quickly over time, and the exact amount is higher for a greater starting sum if the rates are the same. I'm using the example of a loan you might have taken, but the same applies to money you have in your account, which slowly accrues interest (though usually not enough to make up for inflation).
Being a man is about strength but not the strength to beat up biker gangs, its about the strength to be who you are! even if you sew dolls and sell them in your old hag moms textile shop
Don't worry about the sex stuff. Just don't overthink it. Focus on finding a woman you enjoy spending time with and who shares the same sort of life goals and general attitudes to life. Focussing on sex first was the worst thing I did in my 20s. Now I'm old (36) and just getting married. Gonna be an old dad.
1) Typically, I only use an electric trimmer to actually trim my hair and beard (when I have one). It's not really that hard to learn how to shave. A decent shaving cream, a fresh razor, and starting very slowly and very lightly until you get it down. It will give you and much closer and cleaner shave than electric.
2) That dude is a fucking creep. That's not really typical water cooler talk unless you work at like a strip club or some other low-brow blue-collar type deal. I've heard talk like that when I was a dockworker driving forklifts, but that shit stopped once I moved into a more corporate environment where no one wants to be sent to HR.
3) That doesn't really matter. Most people who have had lots of sex still don't fucking know what they doing either. Practice is much less important than communication with your partner.
4) Interest is the percentage of additional money that accrues, usually annually, on top of the amount you need to pay back. So, for example, you owe $100 at 5% interest, at the end of one year, you now owe $105. At the end of two years, you'd owe $110.25 (5% of $105, on top of the $105). So, it keeps compounding itself. You want the lowest interest rates possible, depending on the terms of the loan/contract, because you want to pay back the least amount of money.
You also want to pay it back as quickly as possible (usually) to avoid all those extra years of interest accruals.
You should really read some personal finance information. This is one of the areas I really, really wish schools would start teaching because it's an absolute blindspot for the vast majority of people and it's something you really, really need to know to not fuck up your credit for the rest of your life.
The thing that I've noticed that makes nerds socially awkward is that they see things as discretely differentiable; they see life and social interactions as a series of on/off switches or true/false variables which, if set up in the proper configuration, reduce the logic sum of that to a certain outcome, hopefully favorable to them. That's why nerds are so hellbent on arguments like "I'm a virgin" or "why don't I have a girlfriend?" as being definers of their social value: those are, effectively, 0's in their setups that they have to turn into 1's.
The inherent flaw with this is two-fold: first, humans follow fuzzy logic. What we do, think, want or say is not always necessarily by a finite number of logical variables, so it's impossible and dare I say, a bit demeaning to think that you can manipulate someone into giving you what you want by a series of inputs. You need a long, logically-indeterminate series of interactions to get good relationships... sounds complex? It is. Normally you gotta talk to someone continuously for, dunno, say 6 or 4 months of continous contact before they decide they want to go through with a relationship beyond friendship.
Second, the additional strain of trying to do everything in a certain logical order where it doesn't apply puts immense strain in your social profile and confidence; this, coupled with questionable fashion and self-image choices will make you seem undesirable to other people (it really does suck! but you really have to sell yourself with impressions, and if you don't look and act right, you won't feel right to people [whatever "fine" means to you is completely up to you]). Finally, conversation skills are very important to get socially good. Lots of nerds are very self-centered and were socially ostracized so they don't realize that good conversation is to just let the other person talk the most and just listen to them and empathize. It truly is that simple.
tl;dr don't sweat being a virgin and just talk to a lot of people and throw the dice when it's time. Life is a game dude.
I think one of the keystones of adulthood for men or women is realizing that at some point you need to decide for yourself what you think is right or wrong and not rely on others telling you what you should be or how you should act.
OP Happy Birthday, don't sweat things, i'm 33 and still don't shave properly, hair should be shaved against the grain, but my facial hair seems to grow differently each time, so i often use an electric shaver, and tidy up if i need a close shave with a razor
The bloke showing you his ex, some guys are like that! its meant to be banter, bravardo and you can easily play along and feign interest or say 'dude i don't wanna see that, its disrespectful'
the third thing, it will come with time and when you meet someone - don't let anyone talk you into paying for it
4. What is "interest"? Like, I have deferred my loans again so the interest is accruing, what does that mean? A higher interest rate is bad, why? You have to pay back a certain amount, don't you?
This right here is the most troubling part of that post. How can you be 25, be in debt and have no clue what interest even is???
I've said it for years, but instead of wasting years in high school teaching kids useless stuff like chemistry (when was the last time you used anything you learned there in your daily life?) they should teach financial math instead. Literally everyone has to deal with money, savings, investments, etc. And most people have no clue about any of it.
This right here is the most troubling part of that post. How can you be 25, be in debt and have no clue what interest even is???
I've said it for years, but instead of wasting years in high school teaching kids useless stuff like chemistry (when was the last time you used anything you learned there in your daily life?) they should teach financial math instead. Literally everyone has to deal with money, savings, investments, etc. And most people have no clue about any of it.
This right here is the most troubling part of that post. How can you be 25, be in debt and have no clue what interest even is???
I've said it for years, but instead of wasting years in high school teaching kids useless stuff like chemistry (when was the last time you used anything you learned there in your daily life?) they should teach financial math instead. Literally everyone has to deal with money, savings, investments, etc. And most people have no clue about any of it.
I don't know what school you went to but I went to public high school, in the south(LOL), and we had to take economics, and had the option to take accounting, and learned some financial math in basic required math courses. Also wow at chemistry being called useless.
Well, for one, I guarantee after 2 minutes of Googling, you still have no fucking clue what you are talking about it.
And second, that could easily be said about 99% of the bullshit you get taught in high school, the only difference being that stuff like Chemistry, English Lit, and Calculus is practically useless for the vast majority of people while literally everyone needs to know the basics of personal finance.
1. Is it bad to always use an electric shaver? (here's another confession) I never learned how to truly shave...I mean I've done it once or twice in my life but I cut half my face off each time. So since I was 16/17, I've been using an electric.
I hear it's like, messing up my face, and that it's getting worse. When the stubble grows back it looks like it is "poking" through.
2. This is a bit more...complicated but at my workplace one time during break this one guy was like, "I got a bunch of pictures on my phone of a girl I used to fuck you wanna see? It's on an app that I deleted, I just redownload it and it comes back" --I didn't know what the fuck to say but that already made me feel awkward. He went ahead downloaded it and
started showing me these things that I really didn't want to see.
Honestly, that made me feel pretty uncomfortable. I'm still new at the job so I didn't want to say anything (I haven't told anyone at the work place). I told my cousin, the same cousin I spoke about in the Ramadan and confessions thread about, and he said that...that stuff is normal, that that's typical "water cooler" talk, and stuff I should get used to. I'm paraphrasing here, but I disagreed with him. Didn't argue with him, not coz he was right but because he's the type of person you just can't argue with. BUT, I think I had every legitimate right to feel uncomfortable there. No disrespect to the guy, I like working with him and everything, but that right there I didn't really appeciate.
3. This last one is pretty personal but, for those of you wanting to find out another secret of mine,
other than my latest confession of not being an artisan in real life:
I haven't had sex yet. So yes, I am now the 25 year old virgin. I'm mentioning this because like, I have no idea when it will be, so fucked am I gonna be and how prepared should I be and what not...you know?
4. What is "interest"? Like, I have deferred my loans again so the interest is accruing, what does that mean? A higher interest rate is bad, why? You have to pay back a certain amount, don't you?
Agh, I probably got more but I have to get ready for work now. I couldn't figure out a way to do a tl;dr so this thread may not get much traction. But I'll be happy for any advice/responses I get. Thanks, gaf.
Uh....yeah this is a lot of stuff you should have picked up along the way by now, but here we go.
1. Electric shavers are the lazy way of shaving, once you get used to shaving with a razor it really shouldnt take you more than 5 minutes. If you are bleeding a lot then try shaving after showering as the heat and moisture helps. Also, try shaving with the grain, not against.
2. Nothing wrong with being uncomfortable with some random dude showing you nudes of his ex.
3. Carry condoms just in case. Problem solved. If you are talking about actually pleasing a woman then that is a different animal. Every woman gets off in different ways. Listen to what she tells you and if she starts moaning really loudly, keep doing whatever you are doing.
4. You should really know this by now. Credit cards and loans charge you interest, its the fee they charge for loaning you money. If you owe $1000 and your interest rate is 25% then they charge you an additional $250 for that month even if your monthly minimum due is $50. Get low interest on as much stuff as you can and do more research online, this can seriously fuck up your credit if you dont understand these things. You are deferring loans? but still accruing interest? That is seriously bad. What are your loans for?
I cant stress this enough, you need to sit down and figure out your loans.
1 - Can't talk about electric razors been using regular ones since I started shaving.
2 - I found that is normal to show videos or pics of your sexual conquest among certain group of friends, that includes work related friends/coworkers. Though never use company emails or anything, use personal apps like whatsapp or whatever. Also I don't see the deal with it and find it pretty normal as well.
3 - Don't over think it, sex is just sex, as everything in a relationship it only has as much value as you or your partner put in it. Some people will make a big deal of you not knowing what to do, others will find it cute, etc etc. If you are really nervous of screwing up your first time go to a cabaret if that is legal in your country/area.
4 - Always pay your debts and don't let interest accumulate on them to much, well at least that is what I do, I never pick up a debt I can't pay fully at my next CC bill or at least I know that I will be able to pay full payments each month if I decided to divide the payments. Never go to pay for minimal on your CC debt if you have the money it isn't financially smart since even if you consider inflation you are still losing a lot of money by only paying minimal payments each month.
I don't know what school you went to but I went to public high school, in the south(LOL), and we had to take economics, and had the option to take accounting, and learned some financial math in basic required math courses. Also wow at chemistry being called useless.
Unless you actually work in a field related to chemistry, it absolutely is on your daily life.
Unless you want to make explosives using solvents or other MacGyver shit.
Also, financial math, while easy, is not something you can just look up in 2 minutes (otherwise people would know this shit). A mandatory class seems like a necessity.
My answers;
- I also use electric shavers, life is so much easier now.
- That dude at work.. I'd stay away from him if I wanted to keep my reputation at work and progress. Total weirdo..
- I didn't have sex until I was 25, it's totally fine, now I'm married with 2 kids! Don't sweat it. Sex is no big deal really. If you want to prepare, hit the gym .. hard, improve yourself personally both work and academically. If you can't look after yourself, how will you look after another? That is after all what attracts people to each other at the end of the day.
4. You should really know this by now. Credit cards and loans charge you interest, its the fee they charge for loaning you money. If you owe $1000 and your interest rate is 25% then they charge you an additional $250 for that month even if your monthly minimum due is $50. Get low interest on as much stuff as you can and do more research online, this can seriously fuck up your credit if you dont understand these things. You are deferring loans? but still accruing interest? That is seriously bad. What are your loans for?
I cant stress this enough, you need to sit down and figure out your loans.
While this is right technically, basically no where outside of payday loans has monthly interest rates. Look at your credit card, school loan, etc, it'll tell you what your APR is. For a school loan it'll be like 4-6% (most likely) while a credit card will be 18-30%. But the A in APR stands for annualized (annualized percentage rate). Basically a small chunk of the APR is charged each month if a balance remains which over the course of a year will equal the APR on your principal (how much is owed). I see so much mis-information about credit cards, and while carrying a balance is generally not good, if you need to pay 3000$ for an emergency, your payment won't be 3750$ next month because of your 25% APR, it'll be more like 3065$. Credit cards are great tools when used well.
As far as paying back loans, figure out your APR and see what the general market/inflation trends are. This is because if your loan is 1000$ with an APR of 3% and you have 1000$ and inflation / whatever is 5%, you're better off letting your money grow while you slowly pay back the loan at the minimum payment. Most financial planners will tell you to sit on the money unless your interest rate is high. This is why you should always pay off CCs immediately. No fund/inflation will out pace 20% APR.
While this is right technically, basically no where outside of payday loans has monthly interest rates. Look at your credit card, school loan, etc, it'll tell you what your APR is. For a school loan it'll be like 4-6% (most likely) while a credit card will be 18-30%. But the A in APR stands for annualized (annualized percentage rate). Basically a small chunk of the APR is charged each month if a balance remains which over the course of a year will equal the APR on your principal (how much is owed). I see so much mis-information about credit cards, and while carrying a balance is generally not good, if you need to pay 3000$ for an emergency, your payment won't be 3750$ next month because of your 25% APR, it'll be more like 3065$. Credit cards are great tools when used well.
As far as paying back loans, figure out your APR and see what the general market/inflation trends are. This is because if your loan is 1000$ with an APR of 3% and you have 1000$ and inflation / whatever is 5%, you're better off letting your money grow while you slowly pay back the loan at the minimum payment. Most financial planners will tell you to sit on the money unless your interest rate is high. This is why you should always pay off CCs immediately. No fund/inflation will out pace 20% APR.
Basic science is taught in public schools. The Food Babe still exists.
Replacement of courses like AP Biology and Chemistry for more practical, useful curriculum doesn't change that. The superficial information you'll forget by the time you are 30 is significantly less helpful than financial advice you'll use on a near-daily basis.
Unless you want to argue that high school science courses are either teaching the wrong material or need to be more robust in their curriculum - in both cases I would agree with you. But current-level advanced science courses are functionally useless because they don't teach anything practical for the vast majority of people.
In response to student demand and research. Financial literacy of adults in developed countries is quite low, the majority of high school students value financial education, and a minority of them report feeling prepared by school.
Meh don't think about your height dude. I'm 5'7 myself and don't give a shit. I am married with a beautiful and cool woman. Being self confident changes everything. I know it's hard, I also had problems with it when I was younger but screw it. It could be worse, really.
Good morning. First of all, I want to once more thank everybody for the support you gave me in the confessions thread. It means a lot of for every single one of you to take time to write your responses. My mental stability hasn't healed completely but it never truly will, but things have gotten a little bit better.
Secondly, it's my birthday...I can't believe I made it to 25, yo. I feel like I lost that youth factor. I'm not a little young man now, now I'm just a little man, a pathetic little man (I'm 5'6"!)
---but anyways, even at this age I've got some questions about being a man that I should've figured out several years ago.
1. Is it bad to always use an electric shaver? (here's another confession) I never learned how to truly shave...I mean I've done it once or twice in my life but I cut half my face off each time. So since I was 16/17, I've been using an electric.
I hear it's like, messing up my face, and that it's getting worse. When the stubble grows back it looks like it is "poking" through.
2. This is a bit more...complicated but at my workplace one time during break this one guy was like, "I got a bunch of pictures on my phone of a girl I used to fuck you wanna see? It's on an app that I deleted, I just redownload it and it comes back" --I didn't know what the fuck to say but that already made me feel awkward. He went ahead downloaded it and
started showing me these things that I really didn't want to see.
Honestly, that made me feel pretty uncomfortable. I'm still new at the job so I didn't want to say anything (I haven't told anyone at the work place). I told my cousin, the same cousin I spoke about in the Ramadan and confessions thread about, and he said that...that stuff is normal, that that's typical "water cooler" talk, and stuff I should get used to. I'm paraphrasing here, but I disagreed with him. Didn't argue with him, not coz he was right but because he's the type of person you just can't argue with. BUT, I think I had every legitimate right to feel uncomfortable there. No disrespect to the guy, I like working with him and everything, but that right there I didn't really appeciate.
3. This last one is pretty personal but, for those of you wanting to find out another secret of mine,
other than my latest confession of not being an artisan in real life:
I haven't had sex yet. So yes, I am now the 25 year old virgin. I'm mentioning this because like, I have no idea when it will be, so fucked am I gonna be and how prepared should I be and what not...you know?
4. What is "interest"? Like, I have deferred my loans again so the interest is accruing, what does that mean? A higher interest rate is bad, why? You have to pay back a certain amount, don't you?
Agh, I probably got more but I have to get ready for work now. I couldn't figure out a way to do a tl;dr so this thread may not get much traction. But I'll be happy for any advice/responses I get. Thanks, gaf.
1. I use both. An electric razor for quick easy 'I dont really give a fuck' shaves, and a real razor when I have something important going on (job interview, date, wedding or similar event). Shaving with a razor is easy, just use enough cream and don't rush it. Get a good blade. I use a Gilette Fusion.
2. Just ignore it. You're cousin is right in that it can be common for many men to want to show that stuff off.
3. I am not sure what you are asking here. If you are not actively going out trying to meet women and dating, you probably won't get laid anytime soon. I don't know what you mean by prepared you're going to be.
4. Let's say you owe $1,000 with a 10% monthly interest rate. You pay $100 off so now you owe $900. The interest on the remainder would be $90, so your loan is $990. You effectively only paid $10 from the 'principle' (original loan amount not counting interest). Of all of you questions, this is the most important thing to learn and not fuck up because it can straight up ruin your life.
Unless you want to argue that high school science courses are either teaching the wrong material or need to be more robust in their curriculum - in both cases I would agree with you. But current-level advanced science courses are functionally useless because they don't teach anything practical for the vast majority of people.
Straight razors have fucked up my skin in the past so I only use electric now. It takes me three days to get a five o'clock shadow so I can get away with shaving every 10-12 days.
As far as sex goes, it's actually good to be nervous/scared because that will delay you finishing too soon. Wouldn't even bring it up that you're a virgin unless she asks you about it afterwards.
It is WAY easier to shave either with an electric razor or not with one AFTER you take a hot shower. So much easier it is insane. Many guys don't know this trick.
