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All Halo 3 vehicles and enemies, revealed! With analysis!

C

chespace

It's not actually trolling if you don't admit it
FartOfWar said:
True. It's supposed to satirize game-related writing as much as it is an absurdist gag on both Halo and He-Man vehicle design.
Click to expand...

It's just not as klazy when you spell it out for everyone. :p
 
T

Teknopathetic

Member
"It's just not as klazy when you spell it out for everyone. :p"


To be fair, the people who are going to post the bat-shit reactions aren't going to read much beyond the first post anyway. The party's yet to start!
 
J

Jocchan

Ὁ μεμβερος -ου
PS360 said:
now prepare never to be able to sleep ever again

doll.jpg


doll2.jpg


doll3.jpg


doll4.jpg
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Stop linking screenshots from EA Playground, please!
 
F

FartOfWar

Banned
a Master Ninja said:
I think this Fart of War guy is telling the truth. Check out this new campaign screenshot that was just posted on the front page of Bungie.net:
4ua8rvr.jpg
Click to expand...

Shit yeah. You snap that yourself? And what are odds of you having both?


Edit: (Not quite as long as those of you having both toys and still finding the post funny, I suppose.) : P
 
S

Skilotonn

xbot xbot xbot xbot xbot
Definitely NOT what I expected, but I should be thankful that my greed for Halo 3 media didn't end up spoiling me on the game... :lol

Plus the post count would've been growing by the tens per second if it was the real deal!

Good stuff either way - those babies are freaky as hell though... damn.
 
I

InterMoniker

Member
FartOfWar said:
The Brute Chopper

Shawn Elliott and Rory Manion


With brutally efficient string-tug starter, and tricycle configuration, we're already imaginin' some of you highly skilled Chiefs out there SLAMMIN' through Covenant mobs. The only thing that could make this ride more sick is a German Iron Cross emblazoned on the side, but we'd settle for JNCO brand downloadable content for our Brutes!

In the past, Brutes' muppet-like appearance have fallen short of fan expectation, but the McFarlane/CyGor-worthy makeover (everybody loves monkeys!), already evident in these screens is sure to please even the most faithful.

Now that we'll be spendin' hours tricking out our Chiefs (and peepin' all the Chiefs we know will be all over the Interwebs), why not let us get all Discovery Channel on these killer hogs? Are you listening, Bungie? Notice how the Brute Chopper shown in the first screen lacks the detail and refinement of the one below it? Chalk it up to a new polygon-saving programming technique that enables artists to add as many wires and knobs to the vehicles as they want, and at no additional poly expense.

The tricycle configuration gives the Brute Chopper the wide wheel base necessary to traverse the challenging and varied terrain of Halo 3. When you need a vehicle that can manage both squares and triangles, look no further than the Brute Chopper! The ultimate jousting machine, it is different in every way from the Ghost.

Furthermore, this isn't just some wily-nily design, simply mindblowingly cool for the sake of it. It tells a story of Halo's world, one only previously accessible in the novels. Because Gravemind has been siphoning off the Brutes banana plantations they only have the resources to attach one anti-grav unit to any one vehicle. But Brutish stone is among the densest in the Haloverse and wheels made from the material more than compensate in raw brutality for the loss in handling.

BRUTE CHOPPER PASS 1:
VehRoadRipper2a.jpg


BRUTE CHOPPER PASS 2 (Note the effect that Bungie's KnobTech(TM) has on the vehicle!):
VehRoadRipper1a.jpg


The WhirliGore ChairSaurus
Shawn Elliott and Rory Manion

VehDragonWalker1a.jpg


A fusion of futuristic chair technology and dinosaur, the WhirliGore is an all new, all deadly entry into the arsenal of the Brutes. Unhappy with the Wraith turret's inability to traverse, the Brute have decided to stop buying arms from the Elite in favor of howngrown tech. Drawing on the power of a two-cog transmission (one of which is the vehicle's frame itself) The Brute Whirligore is capable of completing a FULL ROTATION to face down those foolish enough to attack from behind. However, rotation cycles, take precious time creating a cat-and-mouse game within a game. At the moment, Bungie is considering a grease/lubricant power-up that work to enhace traversal speed when driven over by the WhirliGore.

Tubes and boxes strapped to the “head” of the WhirliGore hint at the truly advanced nature of the Brutes. Once thought to be primitive--yet violent--race similar in stature and fright-factor to Wookies or Beaker, it is now clear that the Brutes have learned to manipulate PVC pipe and wires. The WhirliGore also speaks to the newfound cunning of the Brutes, since they have clearly discovered (and applied!) a suitably dinosaur-colored paint to conceal the true nature of their abominable chair-dinosaur concoction.

The Whirligore strikes terror into those unfortunate enough to face it on the killing fields with a menacing scowl. Paradoxically, the Brute are proving a more aesthetically sensitive species than previously assumed. Say what? The massive bolt fixing the ChairSaur to the tank frame is sharp-edged and at odds with the WhirliGore's otherwise streamlined design. The solution? Use a lime-green Brontosaurus' nut sack as a table cloth and drape it over the sides. In addition, Brutes are addicted to gambling and Bungie says the firing mechanism's design intentionally evokes slot machines.

When asked whether or not the WhirliGore was truly mobile (as the legs would have our less astute readers believe), a sigh of anguish was let out by the Bungie staff.


“The tech simply isn't there.” Said a clearly upset Bramlett Abercrombie, “We can make it growl, we can make it spin, we can't make it walk.”

Fymily Cat
Shawn Elliott and Rory Manion

What's in a name? For the moment, everything! Bungie's not sinking its ship date with loose lips on this one, and we're left to speculate.

VehBattleBones1a.jpg


Modulok
Rory Manion and Shawn Elliott

Are two heads really better than one? We'll be finding out in Halo 3 this October when the Covenant's new elite fighters, the Modulok, step into the limelight with all six legs! Ferociously fanged and frightfully unforgettable, the Modulok are an amalgam of pre-existing enemy assets topped of with a fiendish one (or more!) faces.

“We realized we had all these great arms and legs and stuff.” Says Ronald Gustoffson, Executive Lead Animator in Charge of Arms and Legs. “So we said '**** it, you know? Let's make an enemy. With these arms and legs we've got.'” Let us be the first to nod furiously in agreement!

ModulokComplete1a.jpg


Check back frequently for more info as it becomes available!
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HAHhah Thats too awesome :lol
 
K

KTallguy

Banned
Wow, I laughed.

And then I laughed again :lol

Isn't one of those toys from He-Man? I could have SWORN i had that green bike :)
 
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