NSF reading at W??
Well someone suggested I do this thread and tell some of these gross and bizarre stories from working at a strip club, figured I'd throw it out there if anyone wants a good laugh since I don't have anything else of value to contribute to gaf lol.
Skip this part if you just wanna hear gross stories
So a few years back, I worked as a door guy for about 6 months at a strip club. I wont mention the name because well, they don't merit the promotion.
I met a few cool people there, the floor manager, my first day manager, some of the other door guys, some of the dj's. Even some of the dancers were pretty damn cool.
But by and large, the people were worse than any stereotype you may have.
Greedy, coniving, souless, backstabbing, cowardly, angry, and stupid. From the people in charge, to the girls, to the customers.
Working there made me a far more negative person than I used to be. And it did a lot of damage to my perception of women.
On the flip side, it also made me a little more aware and smarter about the things going on around me and removed some absurd childhood beliefs about the personalities and roles or woman vs. men.
Anyways, the amusing stuff...
First off the stuff I posted elsewhere, slightly expanded.
A few months before I got there, I kept hearing inside jokes made about the shit stained front row.
Turns out, a girl who was shit faced drunk and had explosive diarrhea had gotten up to do her set.
When she got up on stage and started spinning around the poll, the stress on her muscles plus the complete lack of control due to the alcohol created a perfect storm...of shit.
She sprayed dookie all over the front row.
There was one girl who was...well, not the brightest.
Always sweet to me, but very obviously a complete idiot.
She lets some guy fingerbang her for some extra cash, but doesn't bother to tell him she's on her period.
So she bleeds all over the guy. It's dark so he doesn't notice and he goes ahead and gets some more lap dances from other strippers and suddenly half the people in the club are covered in menstrual blood.
The dancers are freaking the fuck out cause they are covered in some mysterious blood, the customers are confused but too horny and drunk to care, and the staff is trying to hold back laughter as they peice together what happened.
Some guys used to go into the bathroom once they got horny and put on condoms in hopes of getting laid.
When this would fail (too expensive and only a very small portion of the girls there would do it) they'd take their drunk asses to the bathroom to piss, forget to take off their condoms, and...
well just imagine what happens when you have a erect penis and take a drunk piss with a condom still on.
I should also throw a shout out to the gorgeous drunk 18 year old stripper who shoved her fist in her cooter and then as an encore proceeded to the same thing to her asshole (not at the same time...that woulda been awesome!).
She was tiny and had baby hands but still...ended all fantasies we had about her.
Later on, she started taking customers home and letting them gangbang her while her husband filmed it.
And some new ones.
It was a fairly regular thing to see dancers go storming past me with some guys cum all over her leg.
They be yelling stuff like"god damn fucking pervert nutted all over me!"
I was sleeping with one of the strippers for a few weeks before I realized I had seen her do the afermentioned angry cum stomp walk a few times.
I then realized that I had slept with her a few times without knowing if she had taken a shower yet after work. I pretty much tied a bar of soap to the front door after that.
We had one girl who was very popular a year or so before I started working there, but she just kinda dissapeared.
Suddenly she shows up again while im working there and I see why she was so popular. Pretty, great body, a little skanky, and a good flirt.
I ask the guy who'd been there forever why she left.
He tells me that she got so drunk one night that she fell off the stage, stumbled towards the dressing room, threw up all over the floor, and then slipped in her own puke.
After rolling around in her puke for a few seconds, she crawls her way to the dressing room and dissapears for a year.
Turns out you can't teach an old dog new tricks.
WIthin 2 months she was passing out drunk in the champange rooms.
Also found her face down in the woman's bathroom once, about an hour after she tried to get me to give her my lighter in exchange for sex.
When I was still on day shift, we had some Indian guy come in at around 1 in the afternoon.
He is the only person there and he sits in the middle of the very first row. As soon as the first girl gets on stage, he whips his dick out and sits there grinning like a damn child.
We tossed him out but he had no idea what he had done wrong.
We had waitresses than brought out soda's and cleaned the polls and stage every so often.
On one occasion, none of the waitresses showed up for work (we went through waitresses on a daily basis).
So there I am, in a full suit, climbing up a stripper pole in front of the audience trying to clean off all the pussy juice.
Speaking of pussy juice, unwritten rule number 1, don't rub your snatch on the pole.
The next dancer that gets up there is going to slip on your coochie cream and fall face first onto the stage.
I saw some pretty amusing confrontations over that one.
One last story. We had private booths downstairs inthe porn shop. They were those booths with the glass between the customer and dancer. Guys bassicaly paid to jerk off while the girl danced for them.
On one occasion, a couple asks for a private show in one of these booths. 20 seconds into it, the couple start having sex.
The dancer is a little taken aback, but she keeps going. 5 minutes go by and the woman reaches out into the hallway and grabs some random stranger walking by, pulls him in, and starts sucking him off while her boyfriend keeps pounding away.
The stripper just got up and left, the happy couple never even noticed she was gone.
Just a few interesting notes:
The DJ's were one of the best parts of the club. They could ruin a dancer's night by playing shitty songs, fucking up there name when announcing, just making them look bad over the mic. So the dancers for the most part kissed these guys asses. Hated them, but still kissed their asses. We had a DJ who used to like to mock customers who turned down lap dances. I wont write the insults he used cause it might get me banned but let's just say he was damn funny but very un PC. Just imagine being drunk and having a booming voice from the sky questioning your manhood.
Female customers are a pain in the ass, 9 times out of 10 they cause a damn scene.
The lighting in the club does wonders who appearances. One of our ATM's was out by the front desk and the lighting there was normal. So we would see customers walk out with whatever stripper they just got a dance from and the minute they crossed from club lighting to normal lighting it was like a fucking vampire walked into the light. Scars and stretch marks would spring up out of nowhere, faces would melt into beat up bags of leather and regret. I'd see customers litterly jump in surprise when they'd see how this girl they just fawned over really looks.
In most clubs, the dancers "rent" the stage out for the night. This can be anywhere from 50 bucks or so to several hundred at the best of the best clubs. It was $130 where I worked and the amount of girls who couldn't even make enough to cover there rent for the night was pathetic. On the flip side, some girls could walk away with a couple thousand on a good Saturday night. But they were never the hottest girls at the club. instead it was always the ones who were the best talkers and could get a guy to sit there for 2 hours racking up hundreds of dollars worth of lap dances.
These girls, even the ones who are nice people at their core, are hardwired to make money. They will tell you anything to get 20 bucks. For the most part these girls don't see you any other way than as wallet with legs and a dick. They don't like you, they don't want to get to know you, they don't think you are interesting. They want you to like them enough to give them large amounts of money. Once that is done, you are no use to them. They are probably laughing at you the minute you are out of earshot. I would watch a dancer pretend fawn over a customer for 20 minutes and then walk over to me and say the most vile shit about the guy. We had one guy who we had to ban from the club because he got so obessive over a girl he followed her out into rhe street and had a crying, screaming hissy fit. He would spend hunderds of dollars every other day, and went so far as to pay one girl's college tuition and buy another one a car. He never got laid, never even got a damn handjob.
Well someone suggested I do this thread and tell some of these gross and bizarre stories from working at a strip club, figured I'd throw it out there if anyone wants a good laugh since I don't have anything else of value to contribute to gaf lol.
Skip this part if you just wanna hear gross stories
So a few years back, I worked as a door guy for about 6 months at a strip club. I wont mention the name because well, they don't merit the promotion.
I met a few cool people there, the floor manager, my first day manager, some of the other door guys, some of the dj's. Even some of the dancers were pretty damn cool.
But by and large, the people were worse than any stereotype you may have.
Greedy, coniving, souless, backstabbing, cowardly, angry, and stupid. From the people in charge, to the girls, to the customers.
Working there made me a far more negative person than I used to be. And it did a lot of damage to my perception of women.
On the flip side, it also made me a little more aware and smarter about the things going on around me and removed some absurd childhood beliefs about the personalities and roles or woman vs. men.
Anyways, the amusing stuff...
First off the stuff I posted elsewhere, slightly expanded.
A few months before I got there, I kept hearing inside jokes made about the shit stained front row.
Turns out, a girl who was shit faced drunk and had explosive diarrhea had gotten up to do her set.
When she got up on stage and started spinning around the poll, the stress on her muscles plus the complete lack of control due to the alcohol created a perfect storm...of shit.
She sprayed dookie all over the front row.
There was one girl who was...well, not the brightest.
Always sweet to me, but very obviously a complete idiot.
She lets some guy fingerbang her for some extra cash, but doesn't bother to tell him she's on her period.
So she bleeds all over the guy. It's dark so he doesn't notice and he goes ahead and gets some more lap dances from other strippers and suddenly half the people in the club are covered in menstrual blood.
The dancers are freaking the fuck out cause they are covered in some mysterious blood, the customers are confused but too horny and drunk to care, and the staff is trying to hold back laughter as they peice together what happened.
Some guys used to go into the bathroom once they got horny and put on condoms in hopes of getting laid.
When this would fail (too expensive and only a very small portion of the girls there would do it) they'd take their drunk asses to the bathroom to piss, forget to take off their condoms, and...
well just imagine what happens when you have a erect penis and take a drunk piss with a condom still on.
I should also throw a shout out to the gorgeous drunk 18 year old stripper who shoved her fist in her cooter and then as an encore proceeded to the same thing to her asshole (not at the same time...that woulda been awesome!).
She was tiny and had baby hands but still...ended all fantasies we had about her.
Later on, she started taking customers home and letting them gangbang her while her husband filmed it.
And some new ones.
It was a fairly regular thing to see dancers go storming past me with some guys cum all over her leg.
They be yelling stuff like"god damn fucking pervert nutted all over me!"
I was sleeping with one of the strippers for a few weeks before I realized I had seen her do the afermentioned angry cum stomp walk a few times.
I then realized that I had slept with her a few times without knowing if she had taken a shower yet after work. I pretty much tied a bar of soap to the front door after that.
We had one girl who was very popular a year or so before I started working there, but she just kinda dissapeared.
Suddenly she shows up again while im working there and I see why she was so popular. Pretty, great body, a little skanky, and a good flirt.
I ask the guy who'd been there forever why she left.
He tells me that she got so drunk one night that she fell off the stage, stumbled towards the dressing room, threw up all over the floor, and then slipped in her own puke.
After rolling around in her puke for a few seconds, she crawls her way to the dressing room and dissapears for a year.
Turns out you can't teach an old dog new tricks.
WIthin 2 months she was passing out drunk in the champange rooms.
Also found her face down in the woman's bathroom once, about an hour after she tried to get me to give her my lighter in exchange for sex.
When I was still on day shift, we had some Indian guy come in at around 1 in the afternoon.
He is the only person there and he sits in the middle of the very first row. As soon as the first girl gets on stage, he whips his dick out and sits there grinning like a damn child.
We tossed him out but he had no idea what he had done wrong.
We had waitresses than brought out soda's and cleaned the polls and stage every so often.
On one occasion, none of the waitresses showed up for work (we went through waitresses on a daily basis).
So there I am, in a full suit, climbing up a stripper pole in front of the audience trying to clean off all the pussy juice.
Speaking of pussy juice, unwritten rule number 1, don't rub your snatch on the pole.
The next dancer that gets up there is going to slip on your coochie cream and fall face first onto the stage.
I saw some pretty amusing confrontations over that one.
One last story. We had private booths downstairs inthe porn shop. They were those booths with the glass between the customer and dancer. Guys bassicaly paid to jerk off while the girl danced for them.
On one occasion, a couple asks for a private show in one of these booths. 20 seconds into it, the couple start having sex.
The dancer is a little taken aback, but she keeps going. 5 minutes go by and the woman reaches out into the hallway and grabs some random stranger walking by, pulls him in, and starts sucking him off while her boyfriend keeps pounding away.
The stripper just got up and left, the happy couple never even noticed she was gone.
Just a few interesting notes:
The DJ's were one of the best parts of the club. They could ruin a dancer's night by playing shitty songs, fucking up there name when announcing, just making them look bad over the mic. So the dancers for the most part kissed these guys asses. Hated them, but still kissed their asses. We had a DJ who used to like to mock customers who turned down lap dances. I wont write the insults he used cause it might get me banned but let's just say he was damn funny but very un PC. Just imagine being drunk and having a booming voice from the sky questioning your manhood.
Female customers are a pain in the ass, 9 times out of 10 they cause a damn scene.
The lighting in the club does wonders who appearances. One of our ATM's was out by the front desk and the lighting there was normal. So we would see customers walk out with whatever stripper they just got a dance from and the minute they crossed from club lighting to normal lighting it was like a fucking vampire walked into the light. Scars and stretch marks would spring up out of nowhere, faces would melt into beat up bags of leather and regret. I'd see customers litterly jump in surprise when they'd see how this girl they just fawned over really looks.
In most clubs, the dancers "rent" the stage out for the night. This can be anywhere from 50 bucks or so to several hundred at the best of the best clubs. It was $130 where I worked and the amount of girls who couldn't even make enough to cover there rent for the night was pathetic. On the flip side, some girls could walk away with a couple thousand on a good Saturday night. But they were never the hottest girls at the club. instead it was always the ones who were the best talkers and could get a guy to sit there for 2 hours racking up hundreds of dollars worth of lap dances.
These girls, even the ones who are nice people at their core, are hardwired to make money. They will tell you anything to get 20 bucks. For the most part these girls don't see you any other way than as wallet with legs and a dick. They don't like you, they don't want to get to know you, they don't think you are interesting. They want you to like them enough to give them large amounts of money. Once that is done, you are no use to them. They are probably laughing at you the minute you are out of earshot. I would watch a dancer pretend fawn over a customer for 20 minutes and then walk over to me and say the most vile shit about the guy. We had one guy who we had to ban from the club because he got so obessive over a girl he followed her out into rhe street and had a crying, screaming hissy fit. He would spend hunderds of dollars every other day, and went so far as to pay one girl's college tuition and buy another one a car. He never got laid, never even got a damn handjob.
