Mama Robotnik
Member
This thread is to celebrate the history and continued existence of one of the oldest, most passionate gaming websites in existence: UK:Resistance.
History
Back in 1996-2001, UK:Resistance was an eager, fanboyish Sega fansite.
1998 said:
They published Saturn-related news and reviews, and conveyed a passion for all things Sega. As time went on, this fevered support passed onto the Dreamcast.
But With the Fall of the House of Sega, one would have expected UK:Resistance to die a quiet death.
Instead, the website continued, either unaware or unwilling to realise the console wars have now moved passed Sega Vs Everyone. The site is now a repository of news and views with one common thread: a fanboyism (bordering on deranged obsession) with Sega.
Present day
UK:Resistance's various "news" often consists of one or more of the following:
A venomous, deep-rooted bitterness towards the victors of past console wars (especially Sony, for their role in the Dreamcast's demise)
TALL STORIES, WITH KEN KUTARAGI
Episode 1: Ken and the Giant Bears
Next week: Ken and the 400,000 American units. - (2006)
MOMENTOUS SONY MOMENT
World seems a 'different place' following sensational internet discovery.
Another superb contender for Last Ever UKR Update. - (2009)
JAPANESE HARDWARE SALES FOR THE WEEK ENDING JANUARY 28
Bear these official figures in mind next time you hear Sony bragging about how many million PS3s it has "shipped":
1. Nintendo DS Lite: 194,526
2. Nintendo Wii: 83,754
3. PlayStation Portable: 35,700
4. PlayStation 2: 20,995
5. PlayStation 3: 19,996
6. Xbox 360: 7,365
WHAT SONY MEANS WHEN IT SAYS "SHIPPED":
- Moved from regional storage facility A to regional storage facility B
- Put on a boat to somewhere else that may want them
- In a lorry
- In a pile waiting to be put on a lorry
- Hidden in the ground
- (2007)
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, NINTENDO
You're seriously letting the side down. There's a FUCKING WAR GOING ON, in case you hadn't FUCKING NOTICED. Get your FUCKING factories into FUCKING GEAR and get some FUCKING CONSOLES out onto the FUCKING SHELVES, you FUCKING LAZY bunch of shysters.
If we don't start seeing some Wiis out there PRETTY FUCKING SOON we're going to have to start another war. Honestly. It's like you're not even trying. How hard is it to put Gamecubes into white boxes anyway? - (2007)
A disconnect from fact and reality.
THE TIMELINE HAS BEEN DISRUPTED!
WE'VE GOT TO TRAVEL BACK TO 1995 IMMEDIATELY. This isn't how it was meant to be. Something has gone BADLY WRONG with the time stream. This shouldn't exist. SOMETHING HAS GONE WRONG. This shouldn't be here in our WORLD LINE:
WE'RE ON THE WRONG TIMELINE! It's not supposed to be like this. Oh god. We've got to fix it. We've got to do it all again. We've got to travel back to 1995 and TRY HARDER TO SAVE SEGA. WE'VE GOT TO GO BACK TO 1995 AND GET A SEGA SATURN. IT'S THE ONLY MACHINE THAT CAN PLAY SEGA RALLY PROPERLY IN THIS TIME FRAME. ALL THE SATURNS WERE DESTROYED BY PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T UNDERSTAND ITS POWER. WE HAVE TO GO BACK.- (2006)
"SEGA ARE PLANNING ON RE-RELEASING THE SATURN AND WERE PLANNING SOME SORT OF LAUNCH WITH FANTA BUT THEY HAVE ACCIDENTALLY LEAKED IT"
SEGA Saturn spotted on contemporary Fanta bottle! Clear sign of imminent return to hardware business for the once-dominant force in gaming! Fizzy pop tie-in cleverly designed to target youth demographic! GLORY DAYS A-COMING A-BACK A-GAIN!
"No this isn't some Fanta bottle I've been keeping since 1996 - this is a brand new Fanta bottle. What is on the side of it? ONLY THE BEST CONSOLE EVER CREATED WHICH HAS BEEN DEAD 10 YEARS! This can only mean... #1 SEGA is planning on re-releasing the Saturn and were planning some sort of launch with Fanta but they have accidentally leaked it...."
- (2008)
A subtle commentary on the state of the Games industry:
A DESTROYED AND BROKEN BOOTH BABE
There is nothing glamorous about the video games industry.
Even when crying and trying to sleep the day over there is someone taking photos of her from behind. Fortunately, we don't feel pity or remorse. Just a curiosity about if she's wearing tights or just has weird feet. - (2007)
Anything with a potential connection to Sega.
DREAMCAST SADNESS IN SUTTON COLDFIELD
Someone send a news crew to Sutton Coldfield - some idiot's binned a Dreamcast. It's clearly a cry for help from some poor, disenfranchised video gamer.
(2008)
DEEP INSIDE SEGA EUROPE #3: THE SIGN IN THE TOILETS
A man went to a "community day" at SEGA Europe. The food and travel was paid for. The food was probably a buffet consisting mainly of tuna sandwiches, so don't get too jealous. He did get to do a poo in the SEGA toilet, though, then took a photo of the sign inside the cubicle.
Please wipe the semen off the seat.
- ((2008)
This is the back of a man's sister's chair. He says the design looks a bit like Dr Robotnik, although she insists it's meant to be flowers.
Robotnik furniture range EXCLUSIVE
Beat that.
- (2006)
And news and headlines that you just cannot find anywhere else.
A BRIDGE THAT LOOKS LIKE A SPACE INVADER
This is rapidly becoming our favourite type of update. It's just a thing that looks a bit like another thing. It requires no thought, just a bit of looking at to decided if the thing really does look like the thing it's supposed to.
In this case, it does. It really is a bridge that looks like a Space Invader.
2008
ER, PHIL HARRISON FAN ART
Got sent this. Have reported sender to police for harassment.
"Hey there. I drew this a long time ago when I was sick and Phil's life still mattered to some people. I was going to ask that you use this instead whenever something dumb he had to say was to be featured on your site, but I guess I figured I'd never see him there again now that he's over at Atari, no doubt heading up the addition of motion controls in time for the 2600's re-release. But, like a bad penny, he just keeps turning up - Dan."
- (2008)
A PRINTER CARTRIDGE THAT LOOKS LIKE A VIDEO GAME SHOTGUN
Here's a toner cartridge that looks like a video game shotgun. It even has an official designation that sounds like a video game shotgun - the Canon C-EXV8. If we remember correctly, that's the precise model that Chip Cockloader used in Generic Corridor SpaceDeaths II. No, wait, Generic Corridor SpaceDeaths III. The one that was set on Earth.
- (2008)
THE MIRACLE OF THE PAC-MAN CRISP
Hopefully this is an actual miracle, and isn't just viral marketing for Xbox Live Arcade Pac-Man. Although putting a crisp in a packet and hoping someone finds it and does some news about it is hopeful at best.
- (2007)
NEW VEIN OF MATERIAL DISCOVERED: PAPIER MACHE CHARACTERS
One of those new-wave blogs that exists to laugh at the brave work of the everyday man/child has dug up this sensational pair of papier mache creations. One of which you may be able to recognise, although wed need its dental records to be 100 percent sure.
Discovered by a person called Art.
Those are actual human eyes.
- (2009)
If you've never read the site, I'd suggest a look through their nearly fifteen years of archives for some giggles. It resonates with my sense of humour completely, though I'm still unsure how to classify the site: Joke site? Parody of rabid fanboyism? Regardless, its one of the longest-running game sites ever, and I feel is worthy of a respect thread.
