PhoncipleBone
Banned
To me, no film exemplifies what is both awesome and terrible about 80s action films better than Commando. It is a film so ludicrously over the top, it circles back around to top itself again.
No film in Schwarzenegger's filmography has a more obscene body count. No film has more bad one liners in it. No other action film is as endlessly quotable.
This was Schwarzenegger in the middle of his prime period. He had done the Conan films and Terminator and had become a household name. Now was his time to dominate the world with his awesomeness.
Hate on Jeph Loeb all you want, GAF. We have him to partially thank for the glory that is Commando.
Awww! Ain't he cute, bonding with his daughter?
He is even a lumberjack!
But some lame ass bad guys think they can come in and threaten John Matrix.
He eventually relents, and goes about his mission.
But not before making a friend. "You are a funny guy, Sully. That is why I am going to kill you last."
And not before he threatens Bennett with his infamous catchphrase.
Unfortunately for the guy that is supposed to be watching him...
"Don't disturb my friend. He is dead tired."
Eventually, Matrix catches up with Sulley with the help of Rae Dawn Chong
What kind of mall security thinks they can stop the Austrian Oak?
But Sulley has other things to worry about.
Like gravity.
Well, shit. That didn't work. He had to let Sulley go. Onto the next man.
He even eats Green Berets for breakfast. And he is very hungry.
Matrix gets the information he needs. Now he just needs to suit up.
No mere mercenary army is a match for a pissed off Arnold coming to rescue his little girl.
Who needs to reload when taking on an entire army?
Out of ammo? Improvise!
Bennett AKA Freddie Mercury in chain mail
"Come on Bennett, throw away the chicken shit gun, you don't just want to pull the trigger, you want to put the knife in me, and look me in the eye, and see what's going on in there when you turn it, that's what you want to do, right?"
"I can kill you John!"
"Come on, let the girl go, just between you and me, don't deprive yourself of some pleasure, come on Bennett, let's party!"
"I can beat you, I don't need the girl hahah, I DON'T NEED THE GIRL! . I don't need the gun John. I can beat you. I DON'T NEED NO GUN! AND I'LL KILL YOU NOW!"
Of course, it doesn't go so well for Bennett. He was dumb enough to take on 80's Schwarzenegger.
Let off some steam, Bennett!
Is there a possibility that this movie will ever be topped for its awesome ridiculousness?
No chance!
Commando: The Musical
Love 80s Arnold? Here is another thread about the awsomeness of Conan The Barbarian
Great discussion on EW.com about this masterpiece as well
