Bruce Springsteen
Member
that's really giving someone an insane amount of power over someone's life, terrible advice
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Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
- Start date
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that's really giving someone an insane amount of power over someone's life, terrible advice
ZackieChan
Member
What are the other options?
He lives in a small town anyway. If he wants to date, it's usually better to be in a big city. Being a young person in a small town sucks - I know it. City will have more dj'ing opportunities, too.
Bruce Springsteen
Member
He's need to deal with his ex, hell, file a restraining order if he really feels harassed by her, but don't let her be the reason to move
Don't mention it.
I'm assuming you're at the 1st-2nd date stage. You're likely not serious yet, they're likely not serious yet, you're talking to other women, and they're probably talking to other men. Worry about that kind of stuff when you're ready to get serious. And by worry about it, I mean make it clear you're ready to get more serious.
I'm in the same boat at the moment. Getting back to dating after a while of being too lazy to pursue anyone and yesterday I asked one girl out and she wanted to meet tonight, I got asked out by another and we're going somewhere tomorrow night apparently.
ZackieChan
Member
Honestly, it's easier to just move away. He'll always have the possibility of running into her in a small town. Moving is more pragmatic.
As usual I agree with Neogaf's ZackieChan. I mean... even forgetting the girl and dating, would you really want to be a small town DJ? If that's his dream I guess it works for him but spinning records for the same 30 people in some rinky dink town sounds like hell on earth. Add his insane ex to the mix and yeah, move to a big city. He also said he doesn't want to be in a relationship... he can pop champagne bottles with hot models every night at the hottest clubs in town while he gets down on the 1's and 2's. Sounds like I'm being silly perhaps but I'm not, that would be a sweet life. Get after it Denzar.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
You don't owe her anything. What if it was the other way around? If a guy cold-approaches a girl in a coffee shop, does he deserve one date even if she's not attracted to him?
You already said you're "happy to make new friends", so hopefully she takes the hint. Don't lead her on and make sure if you meet up, it's nothing more than platonic.
this worked, genius!
Bruce Springsteen
Member
Maybe I'll text her I'm not looking for any relationship before meeting her to avoid the awkwardness of doing it in person
You already made that point to her.
Bruce Springsteen
Member
Then why ask if I find her attractive? She's already willing to cook for me
If she's this friendly with all her friends then I just met an incredibly nice person
You said she asked you that before you made it known you were looking for friends..
In all honesty the whole thing sounds creepy for two people who've just met. Her coming up to you and chatting is cool, but her asking you almost immediately if you find her attractive? And somehow she's already let you know that she wants to cook for you? I'd proceed with caution, to be honest. Then again, I don't know the context in which you guys discussed these topics so what do I know?
Bruce Springsteen
Member
We did talk for about an hour yesterday, lot of small talk at first (jobs...) then it went to food, she asked me why I'm not asking her where she likes to eat. Assuming I should take her to dinner? I replied I don't eat out and just cook for myself. She also invited me to hang last night to watch the sunset around area, told her I was busy.
So when I text her "glad to make more friends", I feel I need to reinforce it. Correct me if I'm wrong
I'd maybe just let her know that you aren't looking for anything right now. She seems hungry for a relationship.
Yeah, on one hand you made the point already but... I definitely think the message didn't quite go through. In the end you still said she was attractive and are apparently going to her place for her to cook for you. I'd be shocked if she wasn't looking for / expecting more.
Because she won't quit after a 3/4 rejection?
I mean, how often are guys told "something something friends" and keep pursuing? (a lot).
Girls can be thirsty too. Especially asking if she's attractive that early? And over text? bad, bad form.
Anyway, it already seems like she's 2x more into you than you are into her. I'd say let her down, unless she shows she can be just friends without complications.
But she didn't ask you out to be just friends.
edit:
reading the update.
oh boy, I think you have to let her down.
It'll hurt her feelings a lot less if it happens now rather than later imo.
Bruce Springsteen
Member
Thanks, will reinforce it, hopefully she still wants to be friends
Fucking hell, this online dating shit is scary. Apparently I'm disgusting for not wanting to date a woman who uses a wheelchair. Let's just ignore the fact she neglected to mention the wheelchair in her profile and conveniently used only photographs from the shoulders up. But no, I'm the bad guy for explaining how my own mental issues might prevent me from being a suitable partner for her.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Why are you bothering to explain anything? Just ignore and move on.
Gotdatmoney
Member
It's probably tough to do the dating thing traditionally in a wheelchair so I understand her frustration despite the fact she straight up lied. But bruh, this aint your problem, don't feel bad about it. If it aint gon work it aint gon work, you don't owe her anything.
Don't sweat it man
Both of theses.
And not to change topics too abruptly but (since I don't want to bother any of my friends with this tonight) I just needed to post that I just got back from a great first date. Not perfect but usually I come away from first dates feeling pretty 'meh' so I'm pretty stoked. Even if it doesn't work out I feel more confident just knowing that I can meet a girl and feel like I could see being more than just friends with her because I was seriously starting to doubt that I could have that feeling anymore.
Kind of has me a little less interested in the date with another girl I've got tomorrow night but not going to let that change my mindset.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Well, Im kinda annoyed with this girl I was supposed to meet up with tonight for the first time. Already had to rearrange our plan from this past Friday to today. Then she said she's stuck in traffic and she said it hasn't moved for about over 30 minutes.
I already paid $6 for a parking garage waiting on her. A lot of these pubs and bars close late, which I'm willing stay out late, but I'm close to bailing out. Sucks I probably wasted $6.
I already paid $6 for a parking garage waiting on her. A lot of these pubs and bars close late, which I'm willing stay out late, but I'm close to bailing out. Sucks I probably wasted $6.
Hi DatingGAF. Weird night.
My company informed me at the last minute that I will need to book a trip to New Jersey this week (I live in Texas). So I go to the airport, and after an hour of waiting find out my flight is delayed 6 hours. I sigh, wait 4 hours of that ... and they tell me my flight is cancelled. Ugh. So I call my boss, maybe I can at least get out of this trip. Nope, they say I'll just have to book the earliest flight tomorrow morning.
I drive home from the airport so I can at least get a few hours sleep. It's dark and rainy and I'm in a pretty blah mood as I just wasted my whole day. Eh, whatever, I'm gonna stop by the grocery store and get a snack and at least try to enjoy the last hour of my night a little bit.
I walk around the store and suddenly stop in my tracks. I look at a girl on the other side of the store. She's looking at me. It's my ex. 10 seconds. Finally we smile and sheepishly walk towards each other.
We broke up nearly a year and a half ago. The time we spent together was easily the best time of my life, and I was certain I wanted to marry her. Then she dumped me out of the blue (as happy as I was, we didn't really delve deeper into the relationship, and I guess it caused her to feel like she had to move on) and I was pretty ruined. Although I've tried to see other people, nothing has worked, no matter who I'm with I just sit there wishing it was her instead. Since then I've just been trying to suppress emotions, happy or sad, so that I don't have to deal with loss again. It's been hard though; I haven't been able to go a day without thinking about her yet. But I was at least making progress to the point where it didn't hurt when I thought about her.
And then all of a sudden I see her in the store. She smiles awkwardly, and my heart beats in a way that I had been trying to forget that it could.
We exchange pleasantries and find out that since the breakup we both moved to the same area. I say we should catch up more sometime and she says coffee would be nice. And that's that.
I know not to make this out to be anything more than a random encounter, and that I should not have any type of hope. I don't have any, I'm not allowing myself to. But man... weird feeling. I miss it.
My company informed me at the last minute that I will need to book a trip to New Jersey this week (I live in Texas). So I go to the airport, and after an hour of waiting find out my flight is delayed 6 hours. I sigh, wait 4 hours of that ... and they tell me my flight is cancelled. Ugh. So I call my boss, maybe I can at least get out of this trip. Nope, they say I'll just have to book the earliest flight tomorrow morning.
I drive home from the airport so I can at least get a few hours sleep. It's dark and rainy and I'm in a pretty blah mood as I just wasted my whole day. Eh, whatever, I'm gonna stop by the grocery store and get a snack and at least try to enjoy the last hour of my night a little bit.
I walk around the store and suddenly stop in my tracks. I look at a girl on the other side of the store. She's looking at me. It's my ex. 10 seconds. Finally we smile and sheepishly walk towards each other.
We broke up nearly a year and a half ago. The time we spent together was easily the best time of my life, and I was certain I wanted to marry her. Then she dumped me out of the blue (as happy as I was, we didn't really delve deeper into the relationship, and I guess it caused her to feel like she had to move on) and I was pretty ruined. Although I've tried to see other people, nothing has worked, no matter who I'm with I just sit there wishing it was her instead. Since then I've just been trying to suppress emotions, happy or sad, so that I don't have to deal with loss again. It's been hard though; I haven't been able to go a day without thinking about her yet. But I was at least making progress to the point where it didn't hurt when I thought about her.
And then all of a sudden I see her in the store. She smiles awkwardly, and my heart beats in a way that I had been trying to forget that it could.
We exchange pleasantries and find out that since the breakup we both moved to the same area. I say we should catch up more sometime and she says coffee would be nice. And that's that.
I know not to make this out to be anything more than a random encounter, and that I should not have any type of hope. I don't have any, I'm not allowing myself to. But man... weird feeling. I miss it.
Can you still check how many miles she is away from you on Tinder? Or check those traffic apps to see the flow of traffic and make sure she is telling the truth. If she's not then scold her and demand your $6.
It's fate dude. Serendipity. You are gonna marry this girl. Everything happens for a reason.
I'd ignore it and continue living my life, I've said before personally once I break up I don't go back.. but you do you, don't make more of it than what it is. Get coffee if you both want to.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
I checked traffic report and didn't see anything.
Oh I scolded her. Told her thanks for wasting my money, and it shows what kind of person she really is, and told her have a nice life.
Eh demanding money for wasting my time? I dunno. I deleted her number, too. Didn't save it.
Oh I scolded her. Told her thanks for wasting my money, and it shows what kind of person she really is, and told her have a nice life.
Eh demanding money for wasting my time? I dunno. I deleted her number, too. Didn't save it.
ZackieChan
Member
It was $6...
Lol I was actually joking about all that, but assumed it was something you would do based on your past behavior of stalking dates physical locations using apps and whatnot. Chill out. It was 6 bucks, what else would be doing with that money anyway?
Next time a girl wants to have a date and you are maybe a bit iffy about it just think back to this time, tell her no, grab 6 bucks from your wallet and head to the nearest bank. Deposit the $6 into your savings account. Take a deep breath. Job well done.
ZackieChan
Member
Also, you were out, so just go out and have a good time. Call a friend to come meet you. Text every other girl your phone to see if they're free.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Oh you were joking. I was like wtf? And no I don't do the tinder location stalking thing anymore more, texting too much or whatever I did months ago. I'm way past that lol.
But yeah it was $6. Just wanted to rub it in her face.
I'm actually seeing a girl tomorrow night too in the same downtown area. Hopefully this one smooths out. She actually picked the place. Dat body on her. :O
But yeah it was $6. Just wanted to rub it in her face.
I'm actually seeing a girl tomorrow night too in the same downtown area. Hopefully this one smooths out. She actually picked the place. Dat body on her. :O
Spaced Harrier
Member
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Well it's a weekday and it was like close to 11:30 at night.
All is well now. Got one lined up tomorrow. Plus I'll be hanging out with the friends Friday night, and hopefully meet up with another girl for a third time this weekend.
- 7th date
- We moved very fast from date one.
- Both aware of our reboundy status
- We both got clingy
- We had (great) sex and then had a conversation to figure it out and we're slowing down.
- We proceeded to have an awesome fucking date. One of those stupid and cheesy dates where you don't really do much aside from get comfort food and go to the store but somehow elicit a bunch of memories from it.
- She's cool.
I like who she is so far
- We moved very fast from date one.
- Both aware of our reboundy status
- We both got clingy
- We had (great) sex and then had a conversation to figure it out and we're slowing down.
- We proceeded to have an awesome fucking date. One of those stupid and cheesy dates where you don't really do much aside from get comfort food and go to the store but somehow elicit a bunch of memories from it.
- She's cool.
I like who she is so far
Cross-posted from the Online Dating thread. Proactive TL;DR: Tinder first date featuring Pokemon Go that went fantastic. Girl lives in my neighborhood so there will definitely be a second date. Have 3 dates back to back later this week:
Side note: Bruce, duder I dunno why you have a rule about not dating girls that below 5'8'' because you're missing out on so much man. Then again, preferences yo!
Also, Jason lamenting about losing $6, taking Vern's advice seriously, and the ensuing replies have been comedic gold.
So yesterday's Tinder date with video production (Asian) girl went incredibly well I must say! It was the best first date I've gone on hands down since I didn't overthink a single thing. I was nervous which was a good sign as I had not been nervous on a date in a while. She looked exactly as her pictures; we hit it off right away as she asked how to pronounce my name right off the bat. I showed her some of my digital paintings before I shut down my laptop and we went to a favorite bar two avenues over that I've been to several times in the past. She remarked that I was pretty tall since I took off my height off Tinder.
At the bar I touched her arm when I asked her about the tattoo she had on it. Our legs were touching which was a good sign. When she touched my hand and held it, she noticed it was shaking and asked if I was nervous. I told her the truth and said it was a good thing because it meant it was a good sign. We had a beer and talked more about our common interests in art, meeting celebs through work/by happenstance, family, and pop culture stuff. The cute Filipina girl who worked there was a bonus as she fell in love with her. I wish I gave her a better tip but I'm bound to return sooner or later.
Eventually we left and booted up Pokémon Go on our phones to begin catching a bunch of mons along the way to the park. She got a tad bit more touchy, playfully hitting me. Once we got into the park and a bit of ways into it, we walked shoulder to shoulder. At one point when she was standing still looking for mons to catch on her phone, I put my arm on her shoulder and kissed her cheek. That's when she turned to me, put away her phone, and we wrapped our arms around each other to make out for a few minutes. It was great! She was a damn good kisser and her breath didn't smell funky unlike the 36 year old nor was it awkwardly sloppy and bad unlike the shy bookstore girl I went out with. Plus it helped that I was chewing gum.
Any way, we would end up making out a second time at the park after she helped me tie my bandana over my head and running into a bunch of other Pokemon Go players as we caught a bunch of mons. I went from level 5 to level 7 in that time span. On the subway ride home, she once again noticed that my hand was still shaking to which I told her that it was because it was a very good feeling. She was satisfied with my answer. At one point, we thumb wrestled and she won both times despite me having bigger and longer fingers.
When my stop came up, I got two quick peck on the lips and that was that. I texted her when I got home and got a quick back and forth before she said she was going to knock out for the night. There will definitely be a second date thanks to Pokemon Go. It works wonders!
I have three more dates lined up this week back to back Wednesday through Friday so expect another dating gauntlet post each day if not an amalgamation of one big post on Saturday. The lesson that I learned from this last date was that actions speak louder than words do so rather than asking to make out, just go for it as one will never know if they don't try.
Side note: Bruce, duder I dunno why you have a rule about not dating girls that below 5'8'' because you're missing out on so much man. Then again, preferences yo!
Also, Jason lamenting about losing $6, taking Vern's advice seriously, and the ensuing replies have been comedic gold.
Well, my home town is Bruges in Belgium. It's the capital of a province. It's considered to be one of the bigger "cities" in Belgium when, in reality it's actually quite small. That's just because Belgium is a tiny speck of shit.
Everything I have is here. I grew up here. My friends, my radio show, my job, etc...
That said, it has crossed my mind numerous times. I've been thinking of moving to Ghent, Brussels, Rotterdam or even Canada.
My DJ'ing is not what you guys think it is. It's not like we play in clubs. When me and my friend DJ (and do my radio show) we play stoner rock, doom metal, heavy psych, seventies, metal, etc... We tend to play small festivals and rock performances as DJ's. We also set up shows and book bands to play for us. If you're interested, check out out Mixcloud account to get a pretty good idea of what we do.
We have no ambitions to sell out clubs, 'cause that just wouldn't work and it's not our thing. But we are starting to get "gigs" on festival after parties and the likes. That's exactly our scene and things are going well.
Now, it's more likely that my ex will move to a different city sooner. She's made a promotion at work and will soon be transferred to HQ in Brussels. She herself is from Brussels originally. Her parents still live there. Plus, she's burnt about every bridge she can burn here in Bruges. She's desperately looking for new friends and clings to anyone she meets. The only people she's got left now are other emotionally manipulative basket cases that pulled shit on my friends. It's really sad to see how she went so off the rails. She used to be so cool.
My friends are also starting to call her out on her actions, which didn't happen before because they wanted to stay neutral and didn't want to meddle. In the meantime, she apologized and I accepted. But not without making it abundantly clear never to pull that shit again. Things are looking up. She herself withdrew from a trip we're about to take this weekend. A trip with shitloads of friends organised by a then neutral friend. Just to be clear.
I don't know what I'll do if she ever flips out on me again, but I'm guessing it won't be pretty.
Now, on to date 4 with pretty introverted girl this afternoon.
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
Denzar, where are you taking your date? To the alcoves?
Alcoves? Kinda like nooks and crannies?
For fuck's sake dude, what a petty and shallow thing to do. Aren't you in your mid 30's? That's the sort of shit a teenager would do. Grow up son.
n64coder
Member
You're in FL. Couldn't you have found free on-street parking somewhere?
Be thankful that you're not in Boston or NYC. Parking would be a minimum of $20 if not more.
Clark W Grizwald
Banned
Well, to give him credit this is no where near as creepy as the last one where he sent the girl a picture to add it to her profile in her phone. Baby steps I guess.
Just to summarize the last month of my life again.
- I was a virgin with little serious relationship experience
- 1 month ago I met a guy on Grindr, made out, went on a date, lost my virginity, and we started dating long distance. We're exclusive/monogamous despite the distance.
- over the past month we have learned a lot and we have almost everything in common and we are crazy about each other. I've gained a lot of confidence because he says I'm the best person he's ever dated because I'm pretty direct, mature, and calm at relationships and problem solving.
- we were both tested for STDs and came back all negative but I still plan to use condoms.
- this week I see him for 4 days in San Fran. I'm using it as a vacation, a chance to date/sex him more in person, and see how the relationship progresses. But honestly with how well and fast things have gone, I expect things will only get more serious. He's willing to move to my state next year if we keep a serious relationship. I guess I'll know more after I see what it's like to live around him for 4 days.
Any advice/tips on what to do while with him for 4 days? I won't get to see him again until October maybe.
- I was a virgin with little serious relationship experience
- 1 month ago I met a guy on Grindr, made out, went on a date, lost my virginity, and we started dating long distance. We're exclusive/monogamous despite the distance.
- over the past month we have learned a lot and we have almost everything in common and we are crazy about each other. I've gained a lot of confidence because he says I'm the best person he's ever dated because I'm pretty direct, mature, and calm at relationships and problem solving.
- we were both tested for STDs and came back all negative but I still plan to use condoms.
- this week I see him for 4 days in San Fran. I'm using it as a vacation, a chance to date/sex him more in person, and see how the relationship progresses. But honestly with how well and fast things have gone, I expect things will only get more serious. He's willing to move to my state next year if we keep a serious relationship. I guess I'll know more after I see what it's like to live around him for 4 days.
Any advice/tips on what to do while with him for 4 days? I won't get to see him again until October maybe.
Why give you ideas when all you two are gonna do is stay inside
For real though? Just ask him to show you some places around town, he lives there after all (I assume)
kopitarrulez_11
Member
Alright gaf I gotta ask some advice I'm a store manager at a gas station and there is a girl that comes in a couple time a week that works at the daycare down the street I totally wanna ask her how out. We've been having small talk when I'm ringing her up but how should approach asking her out. I'm assuming be discreet about it like say hey wanna get a coffee or food sometime?
No worries guys, I understand what you're saying. I just have a hard time rejecting people especially when it's through no fault of their own. But whatever, I shouldn't make other people's problems my own.
SmackDaddy
Member
Someone gets caught in traffic, gets told to "have a good life" and gets called out for "who they really are". Holy shit dude you are ruthless. That is unnecessarily harsh. GL not being a diva to the next one
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Whenever Jason brings up his age, sometimes I think "it's no big deal, people his age can find dates". But then he posts something like ridiculing a girl over $6, and I think "I can somewhat see why he's still single at his age".
There is a distinction between:
-Delete everything, move on, you don't have to ever see her again, don't get caught up on her
And:
-Be petty, mean, and judgmental because you'll delete everything and never see her again
Don't do the latter.
There is a distinction between:
-Delete everything, move on, you don't have to ever see her again, don't get caught up on her
And:
-Be petty, mean, and judgmental because you'll delete everything and never see her again
Don't do the latter.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Yeah I was seriously perplexed at what unfolded.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Yeah that was very immature of me. I've never done anything like that in my life. And it won't happen again. If I get ghosted I know what happens and that's that.
I'm still doing well with the girl I met for a second time where we went dancing. She seems like me too. An attractive woman who likes geeky stuff and can quote ghostbusters? I like that.
I'm still doing well with the girl I met for a second time where we went dancing. She seems like me too. An attractive woman who likes geeky stuff and can quote ghostbusters? I like that.
A large part of dating-age is about learning what not to do, and you've been here long enough
'shows what kind of person she really is' cmon man
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
It doesn't matter if you've done that before. You've had a series of bad behavior that you said you've broken but instead of replacing it with good habits you're just swapping one bad habit for another. For you to get that mad and think that vern was being serious over $6 of all things is worrying. At some point you have to realize on your own that "hey this is a shitty thing to do, I shouldn't do this".
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