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Favourite Simpsons joke?

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Rhomega Beta

Rhomega Beta

Member
FeMui said:
lady gaga kiss marge


tumblr_n5s24u6l661rhnigzo1_500.gif



muh dick
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S20E11: How The Test Was Won

It's actually just Homer's daydream
 
S

Schucky Ducky

Banned
Marge: I got us tickets to the ballet.
Homer: The ballet? Woo-hoo!
Marge: You like ballet?
Homer: Marjorie please, I enjoy all the meats of our cultural stew. Ah ballet.
fNyAMEjyqdwGisl3QZbtd_jIajU=.gif

VEBK2r9joxQJban5zg2VS-5LmXM=.gif
 
H

Herr Schwarz

Banned
I liked the ski pants flanders one

"stupid sexy flanders"

Also the one where Smithers is in the strip club cowering at the ladies dancing at him.

Also the one where Smithers dreams of Burns flying in through the window.

Also "ketchup or catsup"

Also "Don't Forget You're Here Forever"
 
R

Rapscallion

Member
This is a horribly hard question, because there's so many timeless one-off jokes.

"Alfs back, in POG form!"

2299899fa7228d90d540e905acb3fd7a.jpg

This whole segment, including Barney at the girl scouts meeting.

Bart wasting a large amount of money on a animation cel, only for Nelson to materialize above him and give him a HA HA! before the frame shifts to Nelson having a seizure at the Qwikee mart.

Homer and Skinner speaking to Bart telepathically.

The guys at Moes beating up someone who they think is Homer in disguise, only for Homer to find his body on the street and comment on how its his exact clone. Then he gets distracted by a frizzy dog and it's never brought up again.

James Earl Jones: " So the children learned how to function as a society, and eventually they were rescued by, oh, let's say... Moe."

Edit: God damn, forgot Margarnagle

NxVzb5b.jpg


"HEY! I'm trying to eat lunch here!"
 
K

Kwhit10

Member
I can't remember the exact quote but something like:

MARGE: Homer did you *do something Homer would do that Marge would disapprove of*
HOMER: Marge, I'm not going to lie to you.
**Homer just walks away**
 
C

Cindres

Vied for a tag related to cocks, so here it is.
Kwhit10 said:
I can't remember the exact quote but something like:

MARGE: Homer did you *do something Homer would do that Marge would disapprove of*
HOMER: Marge, I'm not going to lie to you.
**Homer just walks away**
Click to expand...

This is a great one, from Homer vs the 4th? amendment, when he's the beer baron.

One of mine that i don't think has been mentioned:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=N9p0jLMssSk

"Hey, that's not a dummy"
"THIS EXHIBIT IS CLOSED"
 
C

capitalCORN

Member
“You know, I run a small academy for lobsters like this one. We stress tough love, daily chores, and the like.” – Captain McAllister
“No! We’re not sending the lobster away to some snobby boarding school.” – Marge “Yargh, I understand. It’s hard to let go. Tell me this, then:, do you have any spare change?” – Captain McAllister
 
K

Kwhit10

Member
Another one I always liked (to the best of my memory)

Frank grimes: how can one man have so many enemies?
Homer: I'm a people person.
 
A

AniHawk

Member
SpaceWolf said:
1103468.jpg


Smithers, I'm home!

1104085.jpg


What? Already?

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YES.

1108056.jpg


(Canned Laugh Track)
Click to expand...

this one is up there.

1. homer won't give mr. burns his teddy bear from childhood
2. burns takes away things homer enjoys like beer and tv
3. burns then puts on a tv show of his own when he didn't need to
4. homer loves this show

it's just so wonderful.
 
Rbk_3

Rbk_3

Member
ziZK36v.jpg


Homer: Aw, cereal? You know I like my breakfast fried, or
chicken-fried.

Marge: It's that healthy cereal from Europe. Meuslix.
[spoons some from the bowl; it's viscous beige glop]
[the children shudder simultaneously]
They also make juicelix.
[Maggie takes a drink from her cup. The same gooey cereal
forms a messy strand between her face and the bottle]
[the doorbell rings]

Bart: It's Milhouse.
[the doorbell rings several more times]
And it sounds like he has big news! [runs out of the
room]

Homer: [spooning his cereal] Yugh.

Lisa: Yuch. [aside to Homer] I'll get us out of this.
[louder] Say Dad, wanna go see my project for the school
science fair.

Homer: [winks] No, Lisa. But I sure don't want to eat this
crappy breakfast. [Lisa and Homer run out of the room,
leaving Maggie trapped in juicelix like a tar baby]






654760.jpg


Ralph: Fun toys are fun!
Teacher: Well-said, Ralph, but we're trying to come up with a name for a toy.
Janey: Mrs. Fun?
Teacher: Not bad.
Ralph: Fun?
Teacher: Ralph, there are no right or wrong answers, but if you don't pipe
down, I'm giving you an F.
Ralph: The before-teacher yelled at me, too.
Teacher: No one's yelling; we're just brainstorming names. Lisa, any ideas?
Lisa: [puts down book] Oh, a name with fun? Fungus, Funzo, Attila the Fun.
Teacher: [accusing] Lisa, are you doing math?!
Lisa: [nervous] Uh, just a few Venn diagrams.
Ralph: There's more under her chair!
 
G

GKSilKamina

Member
I hate every ape I see
From chimpan-a to chimpan-zee
No you'll never make a monkey out of me
Oh my god! I was wrong
It was Earth all along

You've finally made a monkey
(Yes we finally made a monkey)
Yes you've finally made a monkey out of me
 
N

NinjaCoachZ

Member
Rbk_3 said:
654760.jpg


Ralph: Fun toys are fun!
Teacher: Well-said, Ralph, but we're trying to come up with a name for a toy.
Janey: Mrs. Fun?
Teacher: Not bad.
Ralph: Fun?
Teacher: Ralph, there are no right or wrong answers, but if you don't pipe
down, I'm giving you an F.
Ralph: The before-teacher yelled at me, too.
Teacher: No one's yelling; we're just brainstorming names. Lisa, any ideas?
Lisa: [puts down book] Oh, a name with fun? Fungus, Funzo, Attila the Fun.
Teacher: [accusing] Lisa, are you doing math?!
Lisa: [nervous] Uh, just a few Venn diagrams.
Ralph: There's more under her chair!
Click to expand...

medium.jpg


I'm Dr. Stupid. I'm going to take out your liver bones!

medium.jpg


Oops. You're dead!

medium.jpg


I never liked that Dr. Stupid...
 
S

Son Of D

Member
bFd0xdpt5RIiwxHUk-HkRsa6MHk=.gif


Agnes: You can choose any picture to take home with you.
Bart: Okay. That one.
Agnes: No! You can't have that one! That's a coconut cake!
 
S

Stinkles

Clothed, sober, cooperative
Homer, in confident sing-song cadence: "My name is Mr. Burns. I belive you have letter for me."

Post Office Guy: "Certainly Mr. Burns, what's your first name?"

Homer, in confident sing-song cadence: "I don't know."
 
F

fester

Banned
Guess Who's Coming To Criticize Dinner is such a classic episode.

Homer: So come to The Legless Frog if you want to get sick and die and leave a big garlicky corpse. PS, parking was ample.
Lisa: Dad, you're being cruel for no reason! What will people think?
Homer: People will think what I tell them to think when you tell me what to tell them to think!

And

Marge: Who wants pork chops?
Homer: [carefully tastes the food] Sorry Marge, I'm afraid this gets my lowest rating ever. Seven thumbs up.
Marge: You always liked my pork chops.
Homer: Marge, I'm sorry, but your cooking's only got two moves: Shake and Bake.
Marge: You like Shake n' Bake. You used to put it in your coffee.
Homer: People change, Marge. My palate has grown more sophisticated.
Marge: Oh yeah, what's a palate?
Homer: Oh ... it's a ... special time in a boy's life when ... got to go!

I'm cracking up just reading this again...
 
Y

yepyepyep

Member
Homer: I'm going to follow them tonight and see where they go.
Marge: Oh, Homer, don't start stalking people again. It's so illegal. Remember when you were stalking Charles Kuralt because you thought he dug up your garden?
Homer: Well, something did!
Marge: I don't want you stalking anyone tonight.
Homer: Oh, okay, have it your own way, Marge. I'll be back in a minute. I'm... going outside to... stalk... Lenny and Carl. (pause) D'oh!
 
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