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I don't drive and makes me feel terrible about my self-esteem

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C

Captain Smoker

Member
I'm 26 and the only use I have for my driving licence is to show that I'm over 18 to get into night clubs.


¯\_(ツ)_/¯



To be fair, the public transportation in my city is probably one of the best in the world.
 
A

AngryMoth

Member
I can't drive because my vision is not good enough and I hoesbtly have never given a shit. It definitely makes difference been in the city though, it's a lot more of a social life killer when I had to live with my parents in the countryside but even then I can get by on public transport. It did bother me a little when I was 17 because people wouldn't shut up about their experiences of learning but on the other hand my friends who do have cars constantly complain about what money sink it is for them
 
B

Brinbe

Member
Yeah, seriously, I'm 30, don't drive and it's really no big deal at all. Though I'm lucky to live in a city where it's not necessary.
 
S

Sho_Nuff82

Member
Didn't get my license until 25, didn't own a car until 32.

The financial reality, training, and compulsion just aren't there for everyone at the same time. No point in beating yourself up over it, especially if you can't afford it yet with a starter job, and if public transportation is reasonable where you live.

Save as much money as you can (in a real savings account). Financial flexibility in youth opens a lot of doors, including the ability to get favorable deals and credit ratings for automobiles.
 
E

Enter The 36 Chambers

Member
Shredderi said:
Maybe teenagers but grown women don't really care. I mean, most people learn how to drive so it's not seen as that much of a an achievement at least where I live. I would learn how to drive for practical reasons which there are lots of.
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I dunno man. When I was on tinder a year or two ago it was a pretty common question from girls. In in my 20s too.

My cars definitely helped me get some over the years back when I was big into them. The backseat too.
 
J

jacob armitage

Banned
I'm 32 and don't drive. It makes me feel pretty great, from the right perspective it can be a real positive. My carbon foot print is much lower and i don't need to worry about gas, insurance or maintenance of a vehicle. With that saved money i can easily afford to live downtown in my city and rely on public transport or the odd cab here and there if i need to get around. I even quite enjoy taking the bus, i can zone out and listen to a podcast or a new album without worrying about driving or other vehicles.

I'll say this too, I've never had a romantic interest care that i drive or not.
 
IlGialloMondadori

IlGialloMondadori

Member
If you're in a city with good public transport, it's fine. Anywhere else, you're a huge pain in the ass to your friends when you ask them to pick you up.

I hate having to have a car, but just getting your license and such is a good thing to do. Just go and take the test and be done with it.
 
B

Babyshams

Member
I had a thing with a girl that couldn't drive. It was annoying as fuck. Always having to go to her place, always needing to drive her places.

My advice is get a friend or family member to let you practice with their car in large parking lot for a few hours
 
M

Mendrox

Member
I have a licence since I am 17 and never owned a car. I am just driving her and there with Carsharing but it's really rare. Nowadays it's not really required anymore or rather it depends where you live. It would be a waste of money to get a car here in Hamburg Germany.
 
S

Shredderi

Member
Enter The 36 Chambers said:
In my experience girls like guys that drive. It's definitely a social achievement. Like having your own place.

Learn to drive b.
Click to expand...

Enter The 36 Chambers said:
I dunno man. When I was on tinder a year or two ago it was a pretty common question from girls. In in my 20s too.

My cars definitely helped me get some over the years back when I was big into them. The backseat too.
Click to expand...

Lol no one here seems to give a fuck about driving because it's so common it would be like being impressed that you can walk. I did see that when I was 18-20yo but now as 27? No one cares, and when I say no one there will always be someone that cares but generally it's not a thing around here.
 
E

E-flux

Member
Babyshams said:
I had a thing with a girl that couldn't drive. It was annoying as fuck. Always having to go to her place, always needing to drive her places.

My advice is get a friend or family member to let you practice with their car in large parking lot for a few hours
Click to expand...

Your advice isn't really a good one.. What good would a few hours in a parking lot do? Rules of the road are much more important, and if you are driving stick it's a lot better to learn on some back roads since you can apply both, the rules and your driving together. Obviously he should learn to drive with somebody who is capable of teaching that and not just with a buddy since that's how you get bad drivers.
 
R

Rahvar

Member
I didn't get my license until I was 28. 32 now. It's very convenient but also costs a fortune. Obviously it varies depending on where you live, what car you drive etc. But my car costs me about 300-400 us dollars a month counting loan, insurance, fuel and parking. And it's s fairly cheap car, about 7k usd with fairly cheap insurance and taxes.
 
S

Shredderi

Member
Btw, how much does getting a driver's license cost where you live? The whole shebang. Here in Finland it's something like closer to 3000e apparently. Used to be 2500e in 2013 if I recall correctly.
 
S

Sho_Nuff82

Member
Shredderi said:
Lol no one here seems to give a fuck about driving because it's so common it would be like being impressed that you can walk. I did see that when I was 18-20yo but now as 27? No one cares, and when I say no one there will always be someone that cares but generally it's not a thing around here.
Click to expand...

Having a car (or an apartment/condo) can be seen as a sign of financial independence, affluence, or flat out wealth. Not to mention spontaneity, as you likely aren't going on weekly ski trips or down to the beach on the bus/train. And it will attract women who are into those things, that can't be denied. At 20, this isn't exactly crucial in finding a partner though.

E-flux said:
Your advice isn't really a good one.. What good would a few hours in a parking lot do? Rules of the road are much more important, and if you are driving stick it's a lot better to learn on some back roads since you can apply both, the rules and your driving together. Obviously he should learn to drive with somebody who is capable of teaching that and not just with a buddy since that's how you get bad drivers.
Click to expand...

Not to turn it into one of those threads, but it's almost silly to recommend someone (with limited time and funds) learn a manual as their first step into driving these days. Learning the basics of steering, turning, accelerating, braking, parking, signaling, and merging into traffic are all more easily done without simultaneously learning the intricacies of a transmission.
 
F

Ferr986

Member
I got my license I think at 25 or 26. 30 now and I absolutely HATE (yep, on bold letters too) driving but I have no options.
I don't want to be that guy that always has to been picked up too (that may lead on people ending up leaving you behind).
 
E

erpg

GAF parliamentarian
I live in a city and don't drive. Only time I feel the sting is when I want to go camping.
 
S

Shredderi

Member
Sho_Nuff82 said:
Having a car (or an apartment/condo) can be seen as a sign of financial independence, affluence, or flat out wealth. Not to mention spontaneity, as you likely aren't going on weekly ski trips or down to the beach on the bus/train. And it will attract women who are into those things, that can't be denied. At 20, this isn't exactly crucial in finding a partner though.
Click to expand...

Like I said, even though it's not generally a thing around here there will be those who care.
 
TheContact

TheContact

Member
Driving is the best. I absolutely love getting behind the wheel. As soon as I was 16 I got my permit. I can't understand why people won't want to do it, but everyone's different. If you live in the city you can just uber your way around though.
 
V

Vagabundo

Member
Driving is not hard but it does take practice. Get yourself a bunch of lessons with a good teacher and practice as much as you can.

If it is affecting your self-esteem then you need to deal with it. Learning to drive is probably the easiest way of doing that.
 
oneils

oneils

Member
depths20XX said:
Where do you live though?
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Ottawa, Canada. I made a point of living close to work. In my early to mid 20s, I did spend a lot of time on a bus. About 2 hours a day until I could save up for a house near my workplace. People do look at me weird, here, when they learn I don't have a car. It's unusual here as many people live in the burbs. But it doesn't bother me.

I don't think of myself as a burden. If anything, I make it easier for commuters by not being on the roads. So commuters actually owe me a debt of gratitude ;)
 
B

Benzychenz

Member
If you live in a big city with great public transport, then whatever.

But I mean, where I am if you don't drive you're just gonna be a burden, socially and professionally.
 
A

AnkhWeasel

Member
Just take it incrementally, getting yourself a lesson with a driving teacher (where they have their own pedals) isn't a huge commitment, and doesn't mean you're suddenly having to get 10 more and buy a car, insurance, and all the other joys of the process.

On the note of actually learning to drive: don't feel like you necessarily have to start off getting your manual (stick) license, either. Starting with auto will let you focus on the road rules and driving safely instead.
 
D

Doc_Drop

Member
If you have or plan to have kids you should learn to drive.

It is expensive and I'm lucky my parents made me learn at 17. I can't imagine not having driven for the last 14 years, the places I've been able to visit due to driving
 
S

Steejee

Member
At least in the US it's worth having a license just for the ID aspect and the option to pick up a rental car when you need one or if you want to take a road trip somewhere off the beaten path.

Actually driving very often? Pfft, I'm fine waiting for self driving cars. My drive to work isn't exactly fun or interesting. My car is a Fiesta manual shift, which is fun (slow but nimble) and works well in the city, but I wouldn't bother with it if I didn't need to drive to work.

A few of the guys I play soccer with are in their mid twenties and don't have cars - they use zipcar, uber/lyft, or bum rides. I myself didn't own a car until I was 28, having bought a motorcycle at 25 and having driven almost nothing between 18 and the motorcycle.
 
J

Jake.

Member
i'm 29 and didn't get my license until 25 or so. i hate driving more than anything and avoid it when possible, but i feel it's still an important skill to know. my girlfriend (27) doesn't even have her learners which annoys me to no ends.
 
Mediking

Mediking

Member
wicko said:
Didn't get my license until I was 25. Wish I had gotten it earlier, because it turns out I actually like driving. A few of my friends don't have a license to this day, and many people I work with, also don't have one. I was actually very surprised how many people didn't drive.

Yes its a pain to go through the steps to get one. Yes driving school sucks. Get this shit over with, and you'll be much happier, I promise.
Click to expand...

About to turn 23 soon... was gonna do all this crap soon after I graduate college on May 13th.
 
S

Snagret

Member
AnkhWeasel said:
Just take it incrementally, getting yourself a lesson with a driving teacher (where they have their own pedals) isn't a huge commitment, and doesn't mean you're suddenly having to get 10 more and buy a car, insurance, and all the other joys of the process.

On the note of actually learning to drive: don't feel like you necessarily have to start off getting your manual (stick) license, either. Starting with auto will let you focus on the road rules and driving safely instead.
Click to expand...
I'm 25 and still don't know how to drive a manual, and I've been driving for years. It's not an essential aspect of learning to drive, and if you can I'd recommend learning on an automatic because it will allow you to focus on the things that are actually important for you to be aware of when taking a driving test (rules of the road and spatial awareness).

The mechanics of driving are pretty easy, once you get them into your muscle memory your body will do the work for you and you won't have to micromanage your driving, which will free up your attention so you can more closely watch what's happening on the road around you. I hesitate to recommend a driving instructor, just because I've had (and heard) some really negative experiences if you get someone in the passenger seat who stresses you out. If you can, find someone you're comfortable with who's willing to teach you when you're just starting out and practice with you till you build up yoir confidence, then take a session or two with an instructor who will help correct any bad habits you might have that might get you dinged on a test.


My sister is turning 36 soon and has never had her license (though she's been trying the past few months for it). It's not really something you should feel ashamed about, but it does significantly open up your options for day-to-day travel if you have a lisence and a car to drive around.
 
C

Chairmanchuck

Member
Depends where you live.
I know some people who are either too scared too drive or "dont need to drive", but waste so much money and time on public transportation.

A 20 minute car drive becomes a 1-1:30h commute and still more expensive than gas+insurance.
 
U

Ultima_5

Member
just buckle down and do it. most people learn when there like 15 or 16. just get it over with so you don't feel bad about it
 
F

Famassu

Member
I'm almost 30 and don't even have a driver's license. I might get one soon but only because I'm possibly setting up my own firm and it'd be good to have one for that.
 
Ascenion

Ascenion

Member
Really depends on where you live but I can get living in a city and not needing to/wanting to. Personally though you should've gotten a license in high school through drivers ed. to make yourself comfortable. You don't have to use it but you should still have it. It's one thing to not want to drive, but oh aren't even capable of doing so if you ever needed to and that is bad imo. I agree that I'd likely feel bad if I couldn't drive versus not wanting to.
 
E

Ether_Snake

安安安安安安安安安安安安安安安
I got my permit at like 31 or so, and never drove since. You'll get it, no big deal.
 
S

SillyEskimo

Member
I had my license the day I hit 16. My parents gifted me a $300 car that could get me to and from my job at McDonalds. I worked 30hrs a week during high school and 40hrs a week during summer break.

Not having a drivers license will likely only be as big a deal as your area cares about such things. Where I live in SE Michigan, if you don't have a drivers license you likely will not have a job either. Having no job/prospects/career makes you a loser. Depending on your are, a car is the first step towards those goals.

Honestly, if you are able to take care of yourself without others carting you around then who gives a shit? You obviously live in an area where not having a car is possible.
 
S

Shredderi

Member
Ascenion said:
Really depends on where you live but I can get living in a city and not needing to/wanting to. Personally though you should've gotten a license in high school through drivers ed. to make yourself comfortable. You don't have to use it but you should still have it. It's one thing to not want to drive, but oh aren't even capable of doing so if you ever needed to and that is bad imo. I agree that I'd likely feel bad if I couldn't drive versus not wanting to.
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No one so far has answered my question about the monetary cost of getting a license. It's not always a matter of just getting one because you want to. Like I said, here in finland getting one costs like a motherfucker. Even if I had every desire in the world to get one I couldn't.
 
Z

zoukka

Member
KillerMan91 said:
Living in Finland and not having drivers license? Outside of Helsinki that makes life pretty hard.
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Not really.

The only reason I'm getting the license is leisure travelling. My bike takes me anywhere within 20km radius in 30 minutes or so and the buses cover everything else.

People use cars to travel pitiful distances to work because they are used to it, not because they need to.

Shredderi said:
No one so far has answered my question about the monetary cost of getting a license. It's not always a matter of just getting one because you want to. Like I said, here in finland getting one costs like a motherfucker. Even if I had every desire in the world to get one I couldn't.
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Well obviously if you are unemployed, most services and plans are out of the question for you. Let alone buying and managing a car.

I'm the new pilot program license and it's much cheaper than the usual B-license.
 
V

Vincent Grayson

Member
Not knowing how to drive just seems so bizarre to me. Like not knowing how to swim.

I get that there are reasonable circumstances that would lead to not learning these things while growing up, but as an adult, I can't imagine not having basic life skills like being able to drive a car if necessary.
 
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