So I've been having a bit of trouble (possibly?) with my girlfriend this weekend and was looking for some advice or maybe reassurance that I'm not going crazy?
Well, let's take a look at the facts.
We've only been together 7 weeks but we're very close, she always texts me, she's always all over me when we're together. One small problem is we work together, but that's never been a problem. Last weekend I took her to Paris for her birthday and it was an amazing weekend and she confessed that she had really strong feelings for me.
You've been together less than 2 months and you've taken her on an all expenses paid romantic trip to Paris. Keep reading to the end, this does not mean as much as you want it too.
In this story, she has, what she tells me, a really really true friend who's "like a 2nd father". She's only been in my country since September last year. she did meet him here in the U.K.
So in less than a year she's found someone who means that much to her? 2nd father or perhaps.. sugar daddy?
This guy lives near to her and he works in a warehouse of our company down the road, so he brings her to work every morning and back home. Now I confess I'm quite a jealous guy by nature and so I don't like it but I deal with it.
Plenty of alone time there each day, she's new to the country and can get himself needed. Does she have no other way of getting to work? How far out of his way does he need to go to do her this "favor"?
Fast forward to this week, I decided to go on this guys instagram for some stupid reason.
For good reason, usually dating GAF advises not to social media stalk but in this case
On there, there's a few pictures of just him with taglines like #togetherforever and things like this and I saw a picture of her and his hand together and a ring on it with the tag #shesaidyes and loads of kisses and hearts to which she replied with engagement rings and all of that.
I obviously said something to her about this and she laughed and assured me nothing is happening, that he's too old for her (he 36, she's 23 and he's really not a looker, at all),
Age means nothing, my wife is ten years younger than me and there are some people here that date wider than that age range. Not much of a looker? Right, has an alleged girlfriend in Germany, had a girl chasing him that he needed help with a "joke" to get rid of and has a younger girl calling him 2nd daddy.
she's told her family about me, went to Paris with me
But have you MET her family? the reasoning that I cant be cheating because YOU paid for ME for a trip to Paris is insane logic
it was a joke they did to get this girl off his back at work. She tells me he has a girlfriend back in Germany (we're in the uk).
I've heard the "it was a joke" defense to things like this many times, turns out it was no a joke.
The Thursday when we went for lunch, she told me she was upset, that this guy and overheard people where we work talking shit about us and was really upset.
The misdirection is setup.
She also told me back on the Tuesday that this weekend we wouldn't be able to see each other because they had family coming from Romania for a holiday and she had to spend the weekend with them.
What she's taking your attention away from
Friday, she was very quiet, didn't text much only sent me a good night with kisses. The Saturday morning she sent good morning with loads of kisses and my love and all of this. She also told me about she was dreaming about me and that she fell asleep in her living room, still normal so far.
More emotional misdirection but more telling is what she was doing in the time in between those single texts.
Still not much from her until she sends me a picture of her, in which I notice in the background a hotel "rooms 7-21" on the wall. I asked her if she was at a hotel with her family and she said "yeah, my cousins (family who was visiting) wife has a friend who works in a hotel here and we came to see her".
You go to see your COUSIN'S WIFE'S FRIEND at work? oddly specific and somewhat of an unusual tenuous family link. Let me guess, 2nd Daddy is driving them around.
Now me, being the crazy idiot that I am, decides to look at this guys instagram
We've already established you have reasonable suspicion that is confirmed.
and see a new photo on there. It's a photo looking outside a balcony at the beach where you can see cars in a car park.
Yeah, that's from the same Hotel.
I got a message from her saying she was missing me about 5 hours later and then nothing else all night until she sent me the usual good night with lots of kisses.
Finally, today she messages me good morning with loads of kisses and then again doesn't reply to anymore messages until a couple hours later where she says "baby, I'm sorry I didn't talk with you more this weekend".
This sound's like her MO, loads of over the top sweet words and phrases to act as a smokescreen for what's really going on. You're falling for it too.
I asked her why not and if I'd done something wrong but ive not had a reply all day.
Rookie mistake, this is where the victim starts to doubt themselves and ignore the evidence.
At this point, I'm really suspicious. I really would love to trust her or see it as something innocent but it's all really strange. Am I being crazy or is something going on?
Sorry dude, it's time to bail. She might not be fucking him, he could just be a "nice guy" orbiter waiting for his chance but for sure between you and him she's taking advantage of both of you for what she can get. Those times when she's radio silent are massive red flags on this weekend away.
