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Am I overreacting about my girlfriend?

F

FairXchange

Member
She shouldn't be dancing on other guys, especially if you're around. If you weren't there I'd imagine it'd probably go on for longer. Oh the other hand if you're comfortable in your relationship, she can dance with other dudes briefly and still go home with you at the end of the night. It would demonstrate you're not insecure and are okay with a little harmless flirting if both of you are otherwise faithful. Can see it both ways, depending on where you're at in your relationship.
 
E

Emperor_Uriel

Member
tonysidaway said:
It's deeply creepy to film people without their knowledge, particularly in a leisure situation. That is fairly universally taboo, I'd think.

And where did this word "inappropriate" spring from? This is a voluntary act of dancing, in an appropriate place, by a human being. You can't treat an autonomous person as a chattel, a servant or an employee. If they're in a relationship with you, it doesn't mean you own them.
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In the context of them having discussed this behavior in the past, and assuming she agreed to rectify her behavior in the future, it makes sense.

HOWEVER, if she thinks it's no big deal and that he's just overreacting (which I personally think is the case), then I agree it would be over the top. Conversation is the only proper path forward then.

It is a fairly common tactic for treating alcohol-related issues though, so it isn't totally unjustifiable if other options have been exhausted.
 
T

tonysidaway

Member
Emperor_Uriel said:
It is a fairly common tactic for treating alcohol-related issues though, so it isn't totally unjustifiable if other options have been exhausted.
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Hmmm, even if you condone this kind of intrusion into privacy in the case of chronic alcohol abuse, it's quite a stretch to envisage its use in a purely social situation.

You might say certain kinds of autonomous behaviour within a relationship are stepping over a boundary. I'd say filming your partner (who is not engaged in a criminal act) without their knowledge raises far more serious problems.
 
D

Dr. Feel Good

Banned
BlueTsunami said:
Its all in the hips
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its-all-in-the-hips.gif
 
C

Crossing Eden

Hello, my name is Yves Guillemot, Vivendi S.A.'s Employee of the Month!
Emperor_Uriel said:
People are reacting poorly to this suggestion, but it's actually a pretty common and effective tactic in tackling inappropriate behavior from people who are drunk/high. I've even seen it used in therapy to great effect.

Chances are, your GF would not do this while sober and would be appalled by her behavior if she saw it with her own eyes. I would consider this, but only if you feel it's appropriate.
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Don't listen to this person either OP.
 
S

Seirith

Member
sanstesy said:
Exactly because we don't treat each other like property is why one of the things I like about our relationship so much. It's rather that how she acts drunk doesn't make sense when she is sober and that makes me question myself.
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Stop getting drunk and then you will both stop acting stupid.
 
V

Van Bur3n

Member
You need to be a better dancer in order to hold her attention OP, lest you truly end up cuckolded because your hips don't bring all the boys to your yard.
 
C

cw_sasuke

If all DLC came tied to $13 figurines, I'd consider all DLC to be free
You started a thread because your gf danced for 40 seconds with other dudes in front of you in a club where you all were probable drunk dancing for multiple hours?

Erm okay. It's not a big deal.
 
N

nitewulf

Member
sanstesy said:
So now imagine you go out to the club with your friends and get really drunk. Like a little too much. You're on the dancefloor poppin' with your girl plus friends and everyone is dancing with everyone here and there. No problem if me or she dances with someone else in the group because we all know each other very well. Inbetween, one friend in my group talked to a completely unrelated dude on the floor and after a while he seemed a little interested in my girl not sure she was alread taken. Though it seemed he got the message and went off to go on dancing somewhere else - suddenly your girl goes off to that exact dude not even approaching her at all and starts dancing with him for around 20 sec. Afterwards she then grabs some other random dudes arm, dances with him with for 20sec and comes back to us and dances with me again as nothing happend. I don't know why she did that and she is too aware to not know that he was interested in her when he was dancing with us.
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girls, just like boys, like feeling attractive. some innocent dance floor flirtation is literally NOTHING to be jealous about or even waste energy thinking about...let it go.
 
M

mm04

Member
Conduct a test. Next time you're at the club together, make sure she doesn't drink at all. If she dances with a random dude for 40 seconds...uh oh.
 
I

ItIsOkBro

Member
i don't understand, op claims that bowser can't kidnap his peach but gets all pissy when two koopa troopas steal her for 20 seconds each?
 
A

Alienous

Member
This all hinges on the kind of dancing.

If you take issue with the type of dancing then I understand. If you take issue with a potential intepretation of the dancing - "Oh no, is she attracted to him?" - you might want to consider less concerning ways to read the situation, like "We're all just having fun".

If infidelity is going to occur I don't see how you can attempt to stop it beforehand without damaging the relationship, so perhaps you should trust that she doesn't have any untoward intentions, especially if this is something she'd do in your presence.
 
T

THE GUY

Banned
This thread:

"You're overreacting."

"You're overreacting depending on the type of dancing involved."

"You're overreacting. My girl gets dry humped into oblivion all the time when we go clubbing, and I don't mind it BECAUSE I'M SO SECURE!"

"Peach doesn't even kiss Mario these days."
 
D

Demy

Member
Zertez said:
Sounds like she wanted to get your attention and make you a little jealous. Unless she was grinding in the guy, I wouldn't read too much into it but definitely give her some attention.
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I'm with Zertez. Not worth getting upset over, OP.
 
D

dc89

Member
vern said:
She danced with two people for 20 seconds each. She didn't suck their cocks for 20 seconds. She danced.


Yes you are overreacting.
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Now THAT would have been one helluva plot twist.

I think you’re over reacting OP.
She was probably just in the moment, having a good time and like others have said possibly vying for your attention.
 
S

SapientWolf

Trucker Sexologist
You don't think it's odd that a fully capable fighter keeps getting "kidnapped" by Bowser? Mario and Peach are complicated.

Dancing is just being social. It's not like she was grinding like she had ass cancer and the guy's dick had the cure.

On the flip side of this, I used to hate it when women standing around by themselves wouldn't say anything about their date in the same club.
 
O

OrbitalBeard

Member
Emperor_Uriel said:
People are reacting poorly to this suggestion, but it's actually a pretty common and effective tactic in tackling inappropriate behavior from people who are drunk/high. I've even seen it used in therapy to great effect.

Chances are, your GF would not do this while sober and would be appalled by her behavior if she saw it with her own eyes. I would consider this, but only if you feel it's appropriate.
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This suggestion doesn't come close to being appropriate . There's nothing in the original post that indicates the girlfriend has any sort of serious drinking problem.

And they were both drunk. It'd be pretty damn hypocritical to grab video of the person in a situation like that.

Within the context of this scenario, recording the person is an absolutely horrible suggestion and a great way to end the relationship. Recording someone close to you to use as evidence of bad behavior is something you should only consider as an option in extremely serious circumstances. This is not even close to that.
 
T

Trident

Loaded With Aspartame
nitewulf said:
girls, just like boys, like feeling attractive. some innocent dance floor flirtation is literally NOTHING to be jealous about or even waste energy thinking about...let it go.
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Do you flirt with other people in front of your SO?
 
L

Loki

Count of Concision
Something which I think a lot of folks are either ignoring or glossing over is that fact that he didn't say she just danced with a random guy - she intentionally went over to a guy who was previously trying to hit on her and who was clearly into her after he had left the group after realizing she wasn't single. I'm not necessarily saying that that makes it verboten, but it does color the action a bit imo. It's different than going over to a random guy who you had no previous contact with and who has expressed no overt interest in you.
 
P

ProfessorMoran

Member
sanstesy said:
I've been with her for italmost 2 years now and me and her agree that we fit together like Mario and Peach. I've never had a relationship with someone this comfortable, open-minded and just overall respectful in every aspect. It couldn't much better. Like when Bowser kidnaps her and tries to cuck me she straight ditches him.

So now imagine you go out to the club with your friends and get really drunk. Like a little too much. You're on the dancefloor poppin' with your girl plus friends and everyone is dancing with everyone here and there. No problem if me or she dances with someone else in the group because we all know each other very well. Inbetween, one friend in my group talked to a completely unrelated dude on the floor and after a while he seemed a little interested in my girl not sure she was alread taken. Though it seemed he got the message and went off to go on dancing somewhere else - suddenly your girl goes off to that exact dude not even approaching her at all and starts dancing with him for around 20 sec. Afterwards she then grabs some other random dudes arm, dances with him with for 20sec and comes back to us and dances with me again as nothing happend. I don't know why she did that and she is too aware to not know that he was interested in her when he was dancing with us.

The bigger problem is though, that this happend in a similar fashion one month ago. Then it wasn't something to break up over as we afterwards then discussed it, told her that I didn't like it and peacefully moved on. At both instances we were pretty drunk to a point that it's too much but that it keeps happening like this doesn't work with me. Similary it seems silly to break up over something that only happens when we are too high on alcohol. But we both love to go out and party regularly.

I'm not sure how to handle this situation. Confused and generally conflicted is my first reaction.
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Punch the guy out.

Just kidding.
 
S

Stranya

Member
If my SO did this it would annoy me a bit, but I would talk to her about it, nothing more extreme. Ockham's razor says she was just drunk and having fun. The only alternatives are that she was genuinely hitting on the guy or trying to get you jealous, and you'd know already if she's the kind of person to do either of those.
 
LordKasual

LordKasual

Banned
sanstesy said:
I've been with her for almost 2 years now and me and her agree that we fit together like Mario and Peach. I've never had a relationship with someone this comfortable, open-minded and just overall respectful in every aspect. It couldn't much better. Like when Bowser kidnaps her and tries to cuck me she straight ditches him.

So now imagine you go out to the club with your friends and get really drunk. Like a little too much. You're on the dancefloor poppin' with your girl plus friends and everyone is dancing with everyone here and there. No problem if me or she dances with someone else in the group because we all know each other very well. Inbetween, one friend in my group talked to a completely unrelated dude on the floor and after a while he seemed a little interested in my girl not sure she was alread taken. Though it seemed he got the message and went off to go on dancing somewhere else - suddenly your girl goes off to that exact dude not even approaching her at all and starts dancing with him for around 20 sec. Afterwards she then grabs some other random dudes arm, dances with him with for 20sec and comes back to us and dances with me again as nothing happend. I don't know why she did that and she is too aware to not know that he was interested in her when he was dancing with us.

The bigger problem is though, that this happend in a similar fashion one month ago. Then it wasn't something to break up over as we afterwards then discussed it, told her that I didn't like it and peacefully moved on. At both instances we were pretty drunk to a point that it's too much but that it keeps happening like this doesn't work with me. Similary it seems silly to break up over something that only happens when we are too high on alcohol. But we both love to go out and party regularly.

I'm not sure how to handle this situation. Confused and generally conflicted is my first reaction.
Click to expand...

how about you let her have some fun and dance
with me

or dance with her yourself

or be a man and stop passive aggressively dealing with your relationship issues. Does she know you're making forum threads about your nights out??


i mean FFS let her have her fun dancing with the guy who's crushing over her, have a good time, then take her home and smash her brains out, why are you so bothered about this

unless she's tonguing the guy down inbetween songs, you are sounding unattractively self-conscious

it's a night club, let her enjoy herself. Go off and dance with some other chick if it bothers you so much, it'll probably just make her want you even more. It doesn't sound like she would care at all
 
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