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Am I overreacting about my girlfriend?

gaiages

Banned
So what, you can't be annoyed at your girlfriend for grinding up on someone else? That's idiotic.

Dancing doesn't exactly mean grinding.

I've seen this kind of horrible attitude turn to domestic violence so often it's not even funny.

Yep, attitudes like that spiral so quickly it's dizzying.

"Dancing with other dudes is not ok"
"Texting other dudes is not ok"
"Talking to that whore friend of yours is not ok"

And so on and so forth. And don't forget needing to punish them when they do something not ok!
 

commish

Jason Kidd murdered my dog in cold blood!
I've been coming to GAF since forever, and it never fails that relationship/dating threads are the most entertaining, the most "what the fuck did I just read" threads in GAF history.

OP, tell your GF that you don't like her dancing with other dudes, and if she keeps doing it, then maybe take that as a sign. I know that I certainly do some things that I don't think are an issue that my GF has a problem with. Now that I know, I will certainly be respectful and mindful of those things in the future. I assume your GF will as well.
 

Raptomex

Member
What is this nonsense about now?
From what I've read, in his culture, if your gf dances with other dudes in front of you, it leads to a breakup. Then the discussion got hostile. I've been spectating.
I've been coming to GAF since forever, and it never fails that relationship/dating threads are the most entertaining, the most "what the fuck did I just read" threads in GAF history.
This. I love these threads.
 
Honestly I get feelings of jealousy if I'm with a girl and she is dancing with another guy. I swear its like some evolutionary societal thing that has been hardwired into our brains to feel that way. I just dont act on those feelings. Shes coming home with me. Thats all that matters.

There is definitely a line you can draw. Like if its some slow dance and they have each others arms wrapped around each other and hes gripping her butt and they have their eyes closed touching foreheads looking like they are in love and shit. Like lol. Or some hardcore grinding like they are basically fucking on the dancefloor. Might as well be ok with some making out and dry humping at that point.

I wouldnt expect anyone to be ok with that.

But if theyre just dancing having a good ol jolly time then have at it.
 

Sai-kun

Banned
If that makes me toxic, then so be it. If not being ok with my partner dancing with other men is a sign of masculinity, then I'm the manliest guy there is. That shit isn't ok, and if you're cool with your girl dancing with other men, then I wish you two all the best of luck in the future.

Again, would you dance with other women in front of your girlfriend?

Sure, why not?
 

Vorheez

Member
Dancing doesn't exactly mean grinding.



Yep, attitudes like that spiral so quickly it's dizzying.

"Dancing with other dudes is not ok"
"Texting other dudes is not ok"
"Talking to that whore friend of yours is not ok"

And so on and so forth. And don't forget needing to punish them when they do something not ok!
Lol ok, and where is your experience coming from? You guys are the ones who end up in 30 year marriages where y'all miserable because you can't stand up for yourselves. If you can't even get your partner to respect you, how do you expect anyone else to?

Good luck being doormats
 

Irnbru

Member
Damn, some of you would die in hispanic culture lmao

Holy shit at calling people doormats, bruh chill, your faux machismo ain't shit

Ps Gaia is a gal lol
 

gaiages

Banned
Lol ok, and where is your experience coming from? You guys are the ones who end up in 30 year marriages where y'all miserable because you can't stand up for yourselves. If you can't even get your partner to respect you, how do you expect anyone else to?

Good luck being doormats

I've been in an abusive relationship before, but nice try breh

Sorry we hurt your fragile masculinity.
 
Lol ok, and where is your experience coming from? You guys are the ones who end up in 30 year marriages where y'all miserable because you can't stand up for yourselves. If you can't even get your partner to respect you, how do you expect anyone else to?

Good luck being doormats

Living under someone's thumb sounds pretty miserable to me.
 

Vorheez

Member
The fuck? How is that babysitting? Don't you trust your girl? lol.
Not if she thinks it's ok to dance with other men in front of me. That's the entire point I'm making

You don't think you can generalize someone's decision making ability across an entire lifespan? Assuming you're committed long term
 

KamenSenshi

Junior Member
Having been in a similar situation I do hope the OP comes back to clarify the type of dancing as nowadays grinding is considered dancing by some. I would guess that's what he meant from the OP and if that's the case and it has happened before and it bothers him then yeah, he should feel upset but maybe also realize that this might not be the relationship for him.
 

Raptomex

Member
Not if she thinks it's ok to dance with other men in front of me. That's the entire point I'm making

You don't think you can generalize someone's decision making ability across an entire lifespan? Assuming you're committed long term
If she thinks it's okay after discussing it with you or in general?
 

Camwi

Member
OP's girl when hes on the dancefloor and when hes off the dancefloor

8_mandatory_gifs_of_the_week_6_1_17.gif

lol
 

Sianos

Member
Lol ok, and where is your experience coming from? You guys are the ones who end up in 30 year marriages where y'all miserable because you can't stand up for yourselves. If you can't even get your partner to respect you, how do you expect anyone else to?

Good luck being doormats

alternate scenario: i also enjoy dancing and would really appreciate it if my partner didn't overreact to me dancing for a couple minutes with some rando, and would be fine with them doing the same

but i mean these are the kind of things you're supposed to communicate with your partner, to make sure you're both on the same page
 

Irnbru

Member
Not if she thinks it's ok to dance with other men in front of me. That's the entire point I'm making

You don't think you can generalize someone's decision making ability across an entire lifespan? Assuming you're committed long term

So what exactly is so wrong about dancing with other men? lol. Like what's your culture? In my culture, Latino, a good bachata or salsa jams come on, like, dancing with each other or with others is expected!

I agree tho like there's limits for each party, but like, dancing doesn't mean she's or he is suddenly going to be like doing the tango of death and suddenly preggos lmao. There's a reason we got this thing called trust and conversation. She ain't yo property
 
You guys are clowns and you know it


breh shut your ass up

based on all of your posts in this thread, i seriously doubt you've ever held the attention of a woman [or man] for longer than a few weeks [unless you're trolling?].

to OP - my wife and i dance freely with whomever we please, as others have rightly pointed out, dancing is a fun activity you share with friends, it's not something you do with targets as a precursor to sex.

[unless you're one of those basic bros that go to shitty clubs and think that dancing is only something you do as a precursor to one night stands with willing strangers... but don't we all grow out of that?]
 
Are you pretending to be daft or did you forget your dunce cap at home?

Quit playing dumb breh

I'm sorry, I was caling your attitude nonsense and giving you an out, not playing dumb.

I'm not daft, I just understand that it takes two people and solid communication to have a healthy relationship, as opposed to being overly controlling and passive agressive.

If I don't like a partner dancing with someone, I tell them. That simple. I don't own anyone, I just hope they respect my wants and insecurities and flaws and I respect theirs and we're compatible enough to be better together than we are separate.

Sorry if that sounds "dumb" to ya breh.
 

commish

Jason Kidd murdered my dog in cold blood!
based on all of your posts in this thread, i seriously doubt you've ever held the attention of a woman [or man] for longer than a few weeks [unless you're trolling?].

to OP - my wife and i dance freely with whomever we please, as others have rightly pointed out, dancing is a fun activity you share with friends, it's not something you do with targets as a precursor to sex.

[unless you're one of those basic bros that go to shitty clubs and think that dancing is only something you do as a precursor to one night stands with willing strangers... but don't we all grow out of that?]

Eh, I don't really agree with that at all. We can't deny that a girl going up to a guy she doesn't know and starting to dance with him will be interpreted as her being interested in him by a great many people. I would not be cool with my girl going up to random guys at at the club and dancing with them. If that's the relationship between your wife and yourself, that's cool, but I think most people would not view it as innocently as you do. And I certainly know my own GF would not be happy with me dancing with other girls instead of her at the club.
 

Fj0823

Member
Not if she thinks it's ok to dance with other men in front of me. That's the entire point I'm making

You don't think you can generalize someone's decision making ability across an entire lifespan? Assuming you're committed long term

Yeah either you'll die alone, or youll make poor girls life a living hell.

You need to change that attitude. You still have time
 

Vorheez

Member
Yeah, you guys hit it on the head. I don't like my girl dancing with other men so I must be volatile and beat her lol

You guys are dumb as hell
 
So what, you can't be annoyed at your girlfriend for grinding up on someone else? That's idiotic.

"should be" != "can be"


You guys are clowns and you know it


breh shut your ass up

Cute.

Lol ok, and where is your experience coming from? You guys are the ones who end up in 30 year marriages where y'all miserable because you can't stand up for yourselves. If you can't even get your partner to respect you, how do you expect anyone else to?

Good luck being doormats

Hilarious.
 

Night.Ninja

Banned
If you was boss you would have moved to a chick and did the same but as you say you got cucked. Now he knows he can have her anytime.

Instead you stood there and watched it happen and ran to neogaf where you know the guys on here dont get girls like that
 
Eh, I don't really agree with that at all. We can't deny that a girl going up to a guy she doesn't know and starting to dance with him will be interpreted as her being interested in him by a great many people. I would not be cool with my girl going up to random guys at at the club and dancing with them. If that's the relationship between your wife and yourself, that's cool, but I think most people would not view it as innocently as you do. And I certainly know my own GF would not be happy with me dancing with other girls instead of her at the club.

"Dancing" is clearly a different activity to you than it is to me then.

There's very much two camps of people when it comes to dancing / going to clubs - those who go to "sex farms" or whatever [top 40 / radio music, lots of popped collars and short skirts], and those who go to "cool bars" or whatever [independent / local DJs, typically playing house / techno / disco these days}.

If you're in the former camp, I totally see why you see things that way.

If you're in the latter camp [my camp], you would never see things that way.

[and yes, there's more drugs and "free love" in our camp as well, but there's also way more safety / communication/ lack of juvenile mixed signals]

edit: coincidentally, the former type of club i described is typically full of 19-26 year olds, whereas the latter type of club i described represents a broader age range, in my local city [Victoria, BC] which happens to be around 26-55.
 

Nyx

Member
As long as boundaries are respected, I don't see anything wrong with dancing with other people than your SO.

Most of my dancing has been at techno parties though, no holding eachother there, some hugs perhaps lol.
 

Ric Flair

Banned
I wouldn't be cool with my partner dancing with other guys in a nightclub. Everyone is different on this, but I wouldn't be comfortable with that. There isn't anything wrong with not being okay with that, op. If it's an issue that keeps popping up and your feelings on the matter aren't changing, I would advise pulling out of the relationship
 

Maddness

Member
That's why I'd leave as soon as she started arguing that it was ok to dance with other men in front of me. I ain't got time to babysit someone


So your girl dances for 20 secs with 2 random dudes and you're going to bounce? Sounds like you aren't that confident in your ability to retain a relationship with her. Sounds like one of those hard look in the mirror moments trying to fool yourself to me.
 
I'm good friends with a girl and we go to a lot of EDM clubs and the dancing gets pretty touchy-feely. Lots of grinding and squeezing in various places. It's not cheating per-say but I know her boyfriend would be pissed if he knew what was happening.
 

commish

Jason Kidd murdered my dog in cold blood!
"Dancing" is clearly a different activity to you than it is to me then.

There's very much two camps of people when it comes to dancing / going to clubs - those who go to "sex farms" or whatever [top 40 / radio music, lots of popped collars and short skirts], and those who go to "cool bars" or whatever [independent / local DJs, typically playing house / techno / disco these days}.

If you're in the former camp, I totally see why you see things that way.

If you're in the latter camp [my camp], you would never see things that way.

[and yes, there's more drugs and "free love" in our camp as well, but there's also way more safety / communication/ lack of juvenile mixed signals]

edit: coincidentally, the former type of club i described is typically full of 19-26 year olds, whereas the latter type of club i described represents a broader age range, in my local city [Victoria, BC] which happens to be around 26-55.

A club is a club, not a cool bar, so I'm not sure I understand the distinction you are making. I suppose it isn't really relevant to this discussion. Bottom line is that if that's how you and your better half operate, that's fine. I just don't think most people see it that way, whether it's at these sex clubs you seem to think everyone is talking about or the non-sex clubs that you go to.
 
A club is a club, not a cool bar, so I'm not sure I understand the distinction you are making. I suppose it isn't really relevant to this discussion. Bottom line is that if that's how you and your better half operate, that's fine. I just don't think most people see it that way, whether it's at these sex clubs you seem to think everyone is talking about or the non-sex clubs that you go to.

hunh?

i thought i made it pretty clear - top 40 clubs vs. bars with actual local DJs [sometimes touring international ones] playing good music that "hipsters" are into...

if you don't understand the distinction, as i previously assumed, you've probably only been to the former [and that's perfectly normal].

and based on that assumption,your points make perfect sense.

This is the biggest crime in this topic.

thank god someone else appreciates latin [or just, y'know, spelling].
 

commish

Jason Kidd murdered my dog in cold blood!
hunh?

i thought i made it pretty clear - top 40 clubs vs. bars with actual local DJs [sometimes touring international ones] playing good music that "hipsters" are into...

if you don't understand the distinction, as i previously assumed, you've probably only been to the former [and that's perfectly normal].

and based on that assumption,your points make perfect sense.



thank god someone else appreciates latin [or just, y'know, spelling].

Sorry, I guess I think a bar is not the same as a club. They are very different things, even if the bar has music. The issue at hand takes place at a club, and then you say "well if it was at a place completely different, then...".

Again, though, I don't think the distinction matters because most people would not be totally cool with their significant other going up to random guys (or girls) and dancing with them, especially multiple times. I'm not saying tables are going to be throw and fights started, but it's not like "oh that's totally cool, go for it."
 
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