Mama Robotnik
Member
The United Federation of Planets is our future in the Star Trek universe. It’s a utopia in which money is a forgotten relic, and the human race lives in near-harmony with their alien friends.
The Federation Starfleet explores the boundaries of time and space, and protects the peace. Their elite ranks are accessible only to the very best – the highly competitive entry exam tests everything from Hyperspace Physics, to forcing potential recruits into surprising situations to watch their reactions. The Psych Test forces a candidate into a situation in which their greatest fear is made manifest, and a passing mark is only awarded to those that overcome the trauma with their sanity intact. Of hundreds of candidates in each exam, only one is given entry.
As they progress through the ranks, the new recruit learns the careful essentials of space diplomacy, while gaining the knowledge and experience to prepare them for command. After decades they are finally ready to assume captaincy of a Starship, and eventually join the sage ranks of the Admiralty.
As soon as they receive their pips, they then turn into insane, corrupt, and deranged megalomaniacs, whose crimes range from starting wars, attempted genocide, and overthrowing the Earth.
Here’s the hall of fame:
Admiral Cartwright
Arranged the murder of the benevolent Klingon Chancellor Gorkon, and framed Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy for it, resulting in the two innocent officers being sentenced to life imprisonment at a harsh penal colony. Arranged a (failed) assassination of the new Chancellor, in a scheme designed to provoke a war that he was certain the Klingons would lose.
Insanity rating: ***
Admiral Dougherty
Formed an alliance with an alien race of drug dealers – who supplied combat narcotics to the Federation’s enemies – in order to remove an innocent race from their home. The Admiral hoped to harvest the exotic matter of the innocent race’s home to grant himself and others immortality. He was willing to sacrifice the lives of many to get this, and idiotically trusted the lead drug dealer who was an unstable sadistic lunatic.
Insanity rating: ***
Admiral Forrest
A race called the Xindi had just launched a devastating attack on Earth that killed millions. To track the Xindi down and either defeat them – or broker peace – the Admiral gave the job to the insanely incompetent Captain Archer – a man so terrible at diplomacy that he allowed his dog to piss all over the sacred statues of a race he needed to impress.
Insanity rating: *
Admiral Haftel
Develops an obsession with acquiring Data’s only daughter, who was barely a few weeks old at the time. His quest to take her from her father causes the child to die in fear during an emotional nervous breakdown. The admiral destroyed his obsession and robbed Data of his only offspring.
Insanity rating: **
Admiral Janeway
Executed Tuvix – the only Talaxian/Human hybrid in the universe; supplied bioweapons to The Borg; made the violent and unstable B’Ellana Torres the Chief Engineer of Voyager over the calm, experienced and trained Joseph Carey; refused to use Warp 10 technology to get her crew home despite having a flawless cure for any side effects; falls in love with a holodeck Irishman then deletes his wife from existence; is tormented by a psychic torture probe, then repairs it so that it can go on to torment others; employees Neelix of all people as her ship’s Ambassador; and many many other examples – just watch SFDebris.
Insanity rating: *** (and she got promoted before Picard and Sisko)
Admiral Leyton
Sabotaged Earth’s power grid, used technobabble to open and close the Bajoran Wormhole at random intervals to scare the Federation into thinking cloaked ships were coming through, framed Ben “Don’t Fuck With The” Sisko as being a Changeling, and eventually tried to take over the Earth in a military coup.
Insanity rating: ***
Admiral Nakamura
Allowed the inexperienced scientist Maddox permission to disassemble Data, with the intention of eventually creating an Android slave race for the Federation.
Insanity Rating: *
Admiral Nechayev
Chastised Captain Picard for not using a Borg child to commit genocide. Was one of the founders of the Cardassian-Federation treaty that traded human worlds to a warmongering race of conquerors for a very shortlived peace. The result was the Marquis rebellion, and the deaths of many hundreds of thousands.
Insanity Rating: **
Admiral Ross
Sanctioned a Section 31 Plan to destroy the life and career of an innocent Romulan woman, so that a Starfleet Intelligence stooge could be installed in her place.
Insanity Rating: (half a star)
Admiral Pressman
Attempted to use an illegal experimental weapon on his ship, causing a mutiny and the deaths of most of the crew. Put the crew of the Enterprise D at risk in his attempts to retrieve the weapon.
Insanity Rating: ***
Captain Braxton
Insane future time-travelling Captain, who develops an obsession and sadistic pleasure with killing the crew of Voyager again and again and again, Suffering a future condition called Temporal Psychosis.
Insanity rating: ****
Admiral Satie
A paranoid McCarthyist who took great pleasure in using conjecture and circumstance to destroy the careers of good and innocent men. Led a long and pointless witchhunt that destroyed the reputations of anyone she saw as an interesting target.
Insanity rating: ****
Admiral Jameson
Supplied weapons to terrorists and covered it up. He later took two vials of reverse ageing drugs, and degenerated into youth and insanity.
Insanity rating: ****
Commodore Decker
Went mad after an encounter with The Planet Killer and crashed his own ship into it in a futile attempt at revenge.
Insanity rating: ***
Commodore Stocker
Decided to violate intergalactic law by using The Neutral Zone as a shortcut to reach a starbase. Nearly started war with this idiotic act.
Insanity rating: * (Idiocy rating: ****)
SPOILERS FOR STAR TREK XII
Admiral Marcus
Woke Khan, and held his crew hostage to force the megalomaniac to work for him. Created himself a colossal warship, and tried to sacrifice the crew of the Enterprise in an attempt to provoke a huge war with the Klingon Empire. Attempted to murder the entire crew of the USS Enterprise.
Insanity rating: ****
Woke Khan, and held his crew hostage to force the megalomaniac to work for him. Created himself a colossal warship, and tried to sacrifice the crew of the Enterprise in an attempt to provoke a huge war with the Klingon Empire. Attempted to murder the entire crew of the USS Enterprise.
Insanity rating: ****
Captain Garth
Once a hero of the Federation, he suffered from a diseased mind and became a criminal lunatic, who took over his own asylum. Attempted to lead a crew of insane inmates to conquer the Enterprise.
Insanity rating: ****
Captain Maxwell
Led a one-ship war into Cardassian space, killing many people with little evidence.
Insanity rating: **
Captain Ransom
Enslaved an alien race and burned them alive for ship fuel, removed the moral subroutines from his ship’s holographic surgeon to turn him into a torturer.
Insanity rating: ****
Captain Tracey
Trapped on an alien planet (having inadvertently killed his own crew by exposing them to a lethan virus), Captain Tracey armed one of the planet’s factions with Phasers, allowing them to massacre thousands in another faction.
Insanity rating: ****
------
There are loads more too.
Why are they all nuts?