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[thetechkid]

The John Wayne thing is so true, I'll be in class and every 5 minutes or so and I hear WWIII in the sky.

 

[captive]

“If you’re a nervous flier, book a morning flight. The heating of the ground later causes bumpier air, and it’s much more likely to thunderstorm in the afternoon.” -Jerry Johnson, pilot, Los Angeles

meh this is the only one i didnt know, other than their shitty pay/problems with airlines fucking them over, all of these should be pretty common knowledge for anyone that flies even infrequently.

“I am so tired of hearing ‘Oh my God, you’re a girl pilot.’ When you see a black pilot, do you say ‘Oh my God, you’re a black pilot’?” -Pilot for a regional carrier

This was funny though.

 

[quaere]

Captain Obvious? They tell you when you buy the ticket, it's written on the ticket, and they tell you when you board the plane. I fly on a regional affiliate every week, this is what the ticket says: Flight operated by COLGAN AIR doing business as CONTINENTAL CONNECTION with turboprop equipment

Some ticket aggregation sites do a pretty bad job at disclosing it. And one of the airlines got in trouble in the past year or two for not properly displaying it on their own site...I think it might have been American?

 

[Ferga]

pilots get to cut the queue. bastards.

 

[Palmer_v1]

I no longer remember where this originated, but here you go.

Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."

Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."

Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence removed."

Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution: "Live bugs on order."

Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

Problem: "IFF inoperative."
Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."

Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
Solution: "That's what they're there for."

Problem: "Number three engine missing."
Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."

 

[Mistouze]

Interesting fact: If you are in a plane where 50% or more of the people are portuguese, there is always a round of applause after a good landing :lol

Everything makes sense now :lol

 

[Skilotonn]

Reading that about the turbulence still doesn't make it any better - I HATE turbulence, even though I fly for 8 and a half hours twice a year.

 

[SolsticeZero]

Never a good idea.

 

[DrForester]

 

[faceless007]

“The two worst airports for us: Reagan National in Washington, D.C., and John Wayne in Orange County, California. You’re flying by the seat of your pants trying to get in and out of those airports. John Wayne is especially bad because the rich folks who live near the airport don’t like jet noise, so they have this noise abatement procedure where you basically have to turn the plane into a ballistic missile as soon as you’re airborne.” -Pilot, South Carolina

LOL, so true. It's pretty weird, it feels like 20 seconds after takeoff they suddenly slow down the plane and makes you wonder for a second if it'll be able to stay in the air. And yes, his stated reason is true (although the "official" reason has something to do with the nearby Saddleback mountains).

 

[Ether_Snake]

Nothing about air hostess sex?

 

[Macattk15]

I've flown into and out of John Wayne airport which they mentioned a few times ... quite a few times. I agree with what they say, it does suck. Landings are always bumpy as fuck and taking off feels like you're going 300 mph faster than other airports and then BAM it slows right the fuck down.

 

[NotWii]

This article is awesome

 

[nomster]

I thought the baby in the lap thing was interesting. You'd think we'd have heard of that happening more often if it was as bad as it says though.

 

[F-Pina]

Interesting fact: If you are in a plane where 50% or more of the people are portuguese, there is always a round of applause after a good landing :lol

I can confirm this, but I only clapped in one flight myself because the landing was really tricky, the plane was all over the place with the strong wind when arriving at Lisbon and it felt like we landed almost sideways.

 

[ToxicAdam]

“You may go to an airline website and buy a ticket, pull up to its desk at the curb, and get onto an airplane that has a similar name painted on it, but half the time, you’re really on a regional airline. The regionals aren’t held to the same safety standards as the majors: Their pilots aren’t required to have as much training and experience, and the public doesn’t know that.” -Captain at a major airline

Every time I order an airplane ticket it tells you what type of plane it is and who the regional carrier is who is operating it. I mean, it's not out there in big, bold letters .. but it is there.

Even though these guys might not have as much training, they still met FAA standards.