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[crazyrabbits]

Yoshi's Safari 2.

It's an EShop exclusive title, but it also requires a specific (new) peripheral called the Super Scope 8, which is only available separately for $59.99. You need this peripheral to play the game - it doesn't work with anything else.

The game starts out like the first one, but Yoshi is brutally killed by a Koopa raiding party at the end of the first level. Like, Manhunt-level type gore - he just gets shot up, beaten, the works. As he lays dying, he passes the torch to his (slightly dim-witted) brother, Boshi, who is now forced to complete the game without him.

Boshi has... very poor aim. Only one out of every 30 shots you make with the Super Scope 8 will connect. All of the levels consist of you running in a straight line - there is no variation, and there are no environmental obstacles. There are only three enemies in every level, and you have to keep up your spamming attacks or else you'll die in a handful of hits.

There is no end boss. You get through 4 or 5 stages, and it ends with Boshi accidentally running off a cliff. There are no end credits, and your save file is erased as soon as you go back to the main menu.

Also, the soundtrack is public-domain classical music.

 

[kick51]

what the fuck

there is a possibility that the DSi ware game sold the fewest copies ever. i don't think i even knew that platform was a thing.

 

[lobdale]

I was going to say a third-person cover-based library book shelving simulator, but that sounds kind of fun.

Day 134.12

 

[adj_noun]

Librarian simulator 1000. Wiimote controlled Dewey decimal fun!

I would buy that. Might even be a good training tool, actually.

edit: Is Library of Congress in the special edition?

I was going to say a third-person cover-based library book shelving simulator, but that sounds kind of fun.

We've inadvertently unearthed a budding genre.

Throw in VR support too!

 

[alysonwheel]

Let's Ultrasound!

 

[JNA]

The Sit Downer

The game is: walk to a chair or bench and sit on it. You win!

The game sells for $100 and the collector's edition is worth $1000 and comes with an actual plastic chair.

 

[Foffy]

Beyond Good & Evil 2.

 

[Wildean]

A one-on-one 2D fighter, with only 1 character and 1 environment. No multiplayer. 10fps locked. Exclusive to Wii U. Only one control input: blowing into the mic.

 

[inm8num2]

 

[GeordieMark]

An educational game called 'Learn to count to one'.

 

[Teasing_Pink]

A big-budget, massively multiplayer


text adventure


But I'd buy it. Even at the $60 asking price, with the subscription fee of $15 per month.

So...a MUD? Though I suppose it wouldn't sell very well, since they have been free and relatively popular for over 20 years now.

 

[the mark]

The needle in the haystack - the need for needle

A Kinect controlled game, where you literally have to find a needle in a huge haystack with your hands as control input. As long as you haven't found the needle, loud machine-gun noises are blasting out of the speakers (maximum volume is mandatory for this game...you can only stop the haystack from growing bigger rapidly by having the volume at max.).
It's a kinect only game but exclusive to the Sega Saturn.

 

[Kuraudo]

E.T. HD Remastered Edition.

 

[adj_noun]

A lot of the ideas in this thread are so set on being boring and/or unappealing that they actually go around the horn and end up interesting, if heavily niche.

 

[Servbot24]

on topic: a street basketball RPG

"Final Fantasy : Candy Crush Edition" WiiU exclusive.

NeoGAF - The official game of the Original Motion Picture.

Excretory System Simulator

You go about your normal day and have to poop at regular intervals. If you don't, you get constipated and regularly lose health. If you eat spicy food, you take damage when you poop.

For all the people who ask why video game characters never use the bathroom.

A bunch of the ideas in this thread actually seem like they would sell pretty well

 

[eliochip]

Dark Room Simulator.

It would literally just be a black screen.

There are a lot of iOS games where its just a black screen and you have to listen to your surroundings to figure out how to get out of a cellar or something. I bought Papa Sangre

 

[Bastardo]

"Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego 1996 Edition" in a shareware-looking jewel case for Jaguar CD

 

[BWJinxing]

Faux News Simulator

Faux News Simulator gives you the power to wield and control telling millions of people what you want them to hear. Where ratings control your future, manage published headlines and decide if you will be truthful or mislead the public!

Thousands upon Thouands of hours in replayable content!

 

[stridemr]

A college class simulator where you have buy the base game for $60, DLC books costing three hundred dollars, and a special note taking tablet costing fifty. All you do is stare at the screen take notes and do tests for hours. There will be over one hundred hours of gameplay to get through before the final.

 

[Makonero]

So...a MUD? Though I suppose it wouldn't sell very well, since they have been free and relatively popular for over 20 years now.

Exactly. I love MUDs, but the way you get to them isn't great and they're free (mostly) so of course they wouldn't sell.

Of course, I haven't played one in years, but if you could do it on a tablet/mobile device, that'd be awesome. Also, no scripting.

 

[massoluk]

Man, beaten to death on Wonderful 102

 

[AlStrong]

Halo: Commander Palmer Collection

 

[TheSlySoul]

Honestly nothing I can think of can beat this or this. At least Zoo Race and Bad Rats is kind of funny in their own way.

 

[FriedConsole]

Kinect only Plumbing Simulator 2015

Most of these games would sell well enough with all the YouTubers buying these to make unfunny videos.

Irony is dead.

 

[phen0m24]

Diaper-change simulator only on Kinect. "Ohh you finally got the diaper off and the baby just started its 'diarrhea removal' process! You're running out of wipes!"

Tax Filing Simulator on the Wii (including Nunchuk support) with Shovel Knight DLC:
"Try to accurately file your taxes while the boxes and text get smaller and the screen goes blurry!"

PSN Name Change Simulator:
Enter your existing PSN name here ________________
Enter your desired PSN name here ________________
Enter a $10 PSN code here ________________
Hit enter

"We're sorry, you are still unable to change your PSN username. Thanks for playing!"

 

[RELAYER]

Big Boobie Bandits

 

[alysonwheel]

Why, Dad?!

A text adventure where your character's father borrowed your laptop and managed to fill it with malware. Battle the limited 1980s text parser through nine challenging levels of computer-cleansing fun! Can you satisfy the forum of friendly but intimidating tech nerds who just want you to run hijackthis?

----

Stop, Identity Thief!

Fourteen different samples of telephone banking hold music! Fourteen increasingly harder to navigate robot phone systems! The last legitimate charge to your card was from an embarrassing website you don't want anyone to know about!

 

[Zero²]

Man, beaten to death on Wonderful 102

Well truth to be told, its almost impossible to sell less than the first one lol


Again the answer already exist, and its called Fit Music for the WiiU

 

[TheContact]

Barbie's playful adventure: the sequel part II - glitter edition version 3.5 / green edamame special

Developed by square Enix

 

[Molemitts]

Pong HD

 

[Bastardo]

Big Boobie Bandits

Sex sells very well.

All of you are aiming at the really bad, but really bad sells, too!

You have to aim at the mediocre! Think 4.5 and really uninteresting. No likable mascots, small installed base.

That's why I went with Carmen Sandiego for the Jag CD.

Something else would be:

"Peter Winlay's harsh way home". a 4.5/10 mediocre completely forgettable jump and run for PC found in the bargain bin.

 

[alysonwheel]

My girlfriend's suggestion: World of Twitter.

 

[illmatic22]

Bayonetta 3.

Stop it, Kamiya has a family god damnit!

 

[Spwn]

You play as Karl Marx and your main goal is to write and get Das Kapital published. Communism: Origins available in 3DS eShop!

 

[L4DANathan]

A big-budget, massively multiplayer


text adventure


But I'd buy it. Even at the $60 asking price, with the subscription fee of $15 per month.

I think you nailed it, nothing else to see here.

 

[adj_noun]

Stop it, Kamiya has a family god damnit!

JR Hero

You watch old wrestling matches and JR's commentary text appears on the screen. Using your proprietary WWE microphone peripheral, match good ol' JR's volume and cadence to get through the match without being cursed out by Vince McMahon on your headset.


FRUITY FRUITY DELICIOUS SKITTLES DLC sold separately

You play as Karl Marx and your main goal is to write and get Das Kapital published. Communism: Origins available in 3DS eShop!

Hell yes.

 

[Florida_Man_5000]

grass cutting simulator

I once watched a twitch stream of a guy washing his dishes for 40 minutes. There were 400 plus viewers. A grass cutting game would sell like hotcakes!

 

[i-Lo]

An isometric Star Trek RPG in the vein of Pillars of Eternity/Torment Tides of Numenera/Wasteland 2.

A single-player EVE Online without all the pretty graphics.

Microsoft Excel: The game

 

[adj_noun]

An isometric Star Trek RPG in the vein of Pillars of Eternity/Torment Tides of Numenera/Wasteland 2.

But all you do is mop.

 

[MUnited83]

would buy


on topic: a street basketball RPG

I swear this alread exists. I think.

 

[alysonwheel]

I once watched a twitch stream of a guy washing his dishes for 40 minutes. There were 400 plus viewers. A grass cutting game would sell like hotcakes!

We got there 26 years ago. It was a global phenomenon.

(oh god I'm old)

 

[Kabuki Quantum Lover]

An upcoming Platinum Games title.

 

[the mark]

Let's Dance - Keep it swinging

You have to dance nude in front of a camera and your performance is judged by facebook likes for the video. If you can reach 100 likes (or lose 50 friends) you are allowed to purchase the next song as DLC.

 

[Exotoro]

Let's Dance - Keep it swinging

You have to dance nude in front of a camera and your performance is judged by facebook likes for the video. If you can reach 100 likes (or lose 50 friends) you are allowed to purchase the next song as DLC.

perfect game for nudists

 

[Jackbooted]

NeoGAF E3 forum mod simulator. The most thankless game ever.

 

[angrygnat]

A mopping simulator. The first level is your kitchen. Next is a fast food restaurant. Then Walmart. Aisle 5 could be your final boss, where you have to follow a five year old around cleaning up after it. That would sell zero copies.

 

[dumbo]

DoA: Mars edition.
Set on mars, the lack of atmosphere, air resistance and a low gravity makes playing the game awkward. Wearing full NASA spacesuits makes all the character models look the same.

Driveclub: "rushhour on the M25".
See if you can reach 10mph on a packed 4-lane carriageway in this exciting arcade racer.

 

[iammeiam]

A mopping simulator. The first level is your kitchen. Next is a fast food restaurant. Then Walmart. Aisle 5 could be your final boss, where you have to follow a five year old around cleaning up after it. That would sell zero copies.

Guaranteed Steam Sale hit, sorry.

 

[Stallion Dan]

Yakuza 5 western release.

...but I curse Sega for not doing it anyway.

 

[pinkurocket]

A mopping simulator. The first level is your kitchen. Next is a fast food restaurant. Then Walmart. Aisle 5 could be your final boss, where you have to follow a five year old around cleaning up after it. That would sell zero copies.

With some marketing by Youtube ~gaming channels I'm sure they'll be able to sell that just like many joke games.

Remember some crap that gets funded on Kickstarter.