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[Tripon]

Buy low, sell high, so goes the investing adage.

But rather than waiting for markets to hit the right conditions, a Florida man allegedly tried to tank Target's stock by setting off homemade explosives in several of the superstore's East Coast locations. according to a Thursday criminal complaint filed by Department of Justice prosecutors in a federal court.

A registered sex offender, 48-year-old Mark Charles Barnett offered an unnamed affiliate $10,000 to place 10 operational homemade explosives in 10 Target stores in Florida, Virginia, and New York, the complaint alleges. The explosives, which were capable of causing "serious injury and death to nearby persons," were expected to be placed on shelves while disguised as food products.

"Once the boxes had detonated inside of Target stores, Barnett theorized that the company's stock value would plunge allowing him to acquire shares cheaply before an eventual rebound," the complaint read.

The guy offered $10,000 instead turned in the home made explosives to the authorities, because unlike Mark Charles Barnett isn't an idiot.

http://fortune.com/2017/02/17/target-stock-bomb-florida/

 

[Kayhan]

Solid business plan if you ask me.

 

[FantasticMrFoxdie]

Classic Florida Man

 

[Opticability]

 

[RumblingRosco]

This sounds like a movie plot. I'm really glad he was unsuccessful. Absolutely gross.

 

[kamspy]

Sounds like a failed GTA V Lester mission.

 

[-Plasma Reus-]

This was already reported I think.
Unless this is another Florida Man, which wouldn't surprise me.
Also, Trump conveniently doesn't say anything about this. What do you think would have happened if the man wasn't white.

 

[Sexually Aggressive Uncle]

Sounds like something Florida Man would do.

 

[ombz]

This was already reported I think.
Unless this is another Florida Man, which wouldn't surprise me.
Also, Trump conveniently doesn't say anything about this. What do you think would have happened if the man wasn't white.

Yeah I think so: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1345009

 

[WrenchNinja]

Wasn't this a mission in gtav?

 

[zeemumu]

That counts as insider trading, right?

 

[GoldenEye 007]

You could say....

He's missed his mark.

 

[Busty]

A registered sex offender, 48-year-old Mark Charles Barnett

Obviously.

Oh Florida, you so crazy.

 

[VeryGooster]

That was like the first half of Casino Royale except not an airplane

 

[Alebrije]

 

[AuthenticM]

This guy has been playing way to much GTA V.

 

[Zombine]

James Bond Villain.

 

[Ray Down]

Florida man....

 

[eizarus]

Sounds like a failed GTA V Lester mission.

That's what I was thinking too 😂

 

[Ogodei]

That's only $1,000 per bomb, given how much gas and time it would take to drive them to all of these locations, i would have turned him in too.

The short-selling plan also makes no sense, unless he timed it exactly perfectly. I suppose the stock price would decline for a couple days after the bomb attacks, or maybe that he planned to detonate the explosives in sequence and short-sell the stock over a period of time, then buy after the last attack (when the stock would bottom out), and sell high again later.

Just a poorly-put-together scam.

 

[demosthenes]

Sounds like a failed GTA V Lester mission.

Hahaha

 

[Fuchsdh]

This is basically the ludicrous plot to numerous films. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction, indeed.

 

[perfectchaos007]

well, at least the inflatable raft works.

 

[Linkura]

Florida man, Florida man
Hit on the head with a frying pan
Lives his life in a garbage can
Florida man

Is he depressed or is he a mess?
Does he feel totally worthless?
Who came up with Florida man?
Degraded man, Florida man

 

[HeySeuss]

Interesting they chose to point out the fact he was a sex offender considering it was a Target. This will certainly help the crazy sex offender boogyman going into the wrong restroom narrative.

 

[ezrarh]

Does this qualify for a terrorism charge? Or do we have "dumb florida man" as an official classification.

 

[Fallout-with-swords]

Playing too much GTA V

edit: beaten by a lot

 

[Dunkley]

Sounds like a failed GTA V Lester mission.

Came in here to post this, wouldn't be even surprised if this served as inspiration.

Florida man, Florida man
Hit on the head with a frying pan
Lives his life in a garbage can
Florida man

Is he depressed or is he a mess?
Does he feel totally worthless?
Who came up with Florida man?
Degraded man, Florida man

That was the quickest "Wait, what's that from again" to the song being stuck in my head ever.

 

[Deleted member 13876]

Finally some Nathan For You season 4 news.

 

[HeySeuss]

Does this qualify for a terrorism charge? Or do we have "dumb florida man" as an official classification.

Terrorism has to be politically or religiously motivated. This was a money scam so it wouldn't meet the elements of terrorism.

 

[Mr. Giggles]

You know those times when you think of a "get rich quick" scheme but you know the way to do it is technically unfeasible.

This should've been one of those times, however I doubt the Florida man in OP has heard of/understands/believes in the phrase "technically unfeasible"

 

[Rembrandt]

Only a $1000 a bomb? Sheesh.

 

[Unknown Soldier]

I sometimes wonder how everyone else manages to live in Florida when Florida Man is there all the time.

 

[Newtype-001]

The explosives, which were capable of causing "serious injury and death to nearby persons," were expected to be placed on shelves while disguised as food products.

sounds super fucked if it happened jeez

 

[ShyMel]

Barnett is also on probation for kidnapping, multiple counts of sexual battery with a weapon or force, and grand theft. He was charged with possession of a firearm that has affected interstate or foreign commerce, according tho the filing in the U.S. District Court for the Middle District of Florida.

So with all those charges, being a registered sex offender, and trying to blow up Target, I would hope that at this point he will stay in prison for awhile.

 

[VolticArchangel]

Shouldn't it be "a florida terrorist" instead of "a Florida man"?

 

[Elitist1945]

Sounds like a failed GTA V Lester mission.

This is what I was thinking.

 

[Labombadog]

Target acquired.

 

[slit]

So with all those charges, being a registered sex offender, and trying to blow up Target, I would hope that at this point he will stay in prison for awhile.

In Florida? It'll be awhile, probably around 90 days.

 

[Raylan Targaryen]

Shouldn't it be "a florida terrorist" instead of "a Florida man"?

Florida Man is a superhero-ish kind of person performing incredible feats all over Florida.