Giallo Corsa
Gold Member
So, after 12 years i finally managed to finish this...wreck of a show.
Gotta be honest, after the Negan story-arc i was mostly hate-watching it due to obvious reasons :
- Absolutely god-awful production values - everything felt cheap, from set pieces, to special FX to cinematography and location shooting.
- Ridiculous & unlikeable characters.
- Bad acting from 99% of the cast.
- Emphasis on the "drama" - this motherfucking show started to feel more like a soap opera in the vein of "The bold and the beautiful" than a horror-drama one, absolutely horrible stuff.
- Bad script/writing.
Regarding the ridiculousness of it all again, this show had it all :
- Gay man Aaron (but at the same time, one the manliest motherfuckers out there as to also satisfy the more puritan crowd) with a - wait for it - spiked-ball for a hand.A SPIKED BALL FOR A HAND !
- RAssSta MaAn that talks like an idiot with a...pet tiger...a PET TIGER ! HOW COOL IS THAT ? AMIRITE ? Also : "The Kingdom", le cringe.
- Gabriel (Seth Gilliam) : a - not all all banal/cliche' - Kickass priest , how cool is that ? Also, terrible fucking acting with some of the most preachy and cringe lines in the show.
Every God damn scene with him in it was sleep inducing.
- The whole "Whisperers" seasons are just...stupid would be too kind of a word, mf'ers just blend in by walking at a snail's pace alongside the dead ? And that's how they live/survive ? LMFAO, GTFOH, seriously...
- A guy called "Jesus" with the most ridiculous fake beard on TV who also...karates motherfucking zombies BUT, gets killed like an idiot in a slow-mo scene by a whisperer because..."DRAMA !!!".Plot armor until it doesn't suit the show anymore.
- Black actresses that - unfortunately - were put on the show just for the diversity quota that add absolutely nothing of value to the show, they're just there "because".
Kelly has got to be one the best characters ever, she's black, deaf and gay ! Imagine if she/he/whatever was also non-able (i hope that's the politically correct word) she would have scored even more internet points.Also : her also (deaf) sister which also added absolutely nothing of value to the show, she was just there to act as a semi love interest for Daryll in a few episodes and then...nothing, Kelly was just there to translate - 'cause that's all she did in this friggin' show and yet, these absolutely waste of characters managed to make it to the end of the show without getting killed, just amazing writing...
- Motherfucking Storm troopers in the Walking Dead universe : just utterly, mind-blowingly and mind-numbingly ridiculous , armors looked cheap as fuck and just plain stupid, God damn they looked like something out of a CW show.Also, where were these armors made ? JFC...no words.
Also : The commonwealth arc, just nope.
Zombies : They're just there to be killed in 0.5 secs like newborn rabbits by a hit in the head (with zero impact/force/movement due to bad choreography and special FX).
- Constant Deus-ex machina moments out of the ass "just 'cause" and... "Dramaaaa !".
- Rosita : that bait and switch in the last episode was just...fuck me.Slow-mo scene with her falling from a 10m height into a herd of zombies - with her baby also strapped to her - BUT WAIT ! She strong ! She beautiful ! She royalll ! Enter crescendo music and slow-mo scene where she...gets up and frees herself and magically manages to perform an auto-ledge grab that wouldn't work nor look realistic even in fucking Uncharted with its auto-platforming and manages to save herself - OR DID SHE ? Turns out, she got bitten ! BUT WAIT, instead of turning into a flesh-eating monster in a couple of hours, she just takes it chill and manages to (finally) die on her own terms, ON HER OWN TERMS DAMMIT !!!
S-s-s-s-subverting expectaaationssss man ! Obviously, she had all her beloved friends around her for that emotional all-American® scene with appropriate sad music playing in the background.
- The reapers : terrible, terrible stuff, from Daryll's love interest's actress's acting (fucking horrible), to the fact that they're presented as an unstoppable force when they're first introduced only for them to - you know - not being as "unstoppable" after a couple of episodes with them being killed even by the most inexperienced members of "our" crew.
Bonus : Carol, a "Mary Sue" character, boring, with very dubious acting due to the whole non-expression face because of "plastic/cosmetic surgery", i just couldn't watch her when she was on screen, absolutely horrible acting and she was also one of the regulars/main cast, how ? She's absolutely unwatchable.
- Magna character : what's a slender pornstar looking woman with bottox out the whazoo doing in TWD universe ? Shit's more unrealistic than Norman Reedus' hair dye for fuck's sake.Also : yet another character that adds absolutely nothing of value to the plot and show.Useless
- Norman Reedus' hair dye : zombies look more realistic than this shit.
Seriously, what the fuck were these last 3 seasons ? (not that the previous ones were that much better).
What started as (somewhat) semi-decent shlocky horror show quickly devolved into badly acted soap opera with some zombies sprinkled in.
You know what ? It wasn't all bad though, the S01E01 episode is still some of the best schlocky Horror episodes on TV with spot-on atmosphere and mystery.Killing Shane, his wife-fucker was also good shlocky TV due mostly to some semi-decent acting , as was Rick chewing on his son's motherfucking wannabe rapist's throat somewhere in S04 IIRC, as was the whole CDC episode in S01, as was the Negan "i'm-gonna-bash-maggie's-husband-head-with-my-bat-until-his-eye-pops-out" episode, as was the last episode of S02 were they open the barn,as was Rick's son's death, the whole of "here's Negan episode"...you get the idea, there were some pretty good episodes sprinkled here and there between all the badly acted, poorly written shlocky shitty episodes/seasons, it wasn't ALL bad in the end, the show did have some good moments.
Also, most of the "big/main baddies" in this show were actually good and very memorable with some good acting on display : The Governor, Negan (in the beginning), Whisperer lady, Whisperer lady's 2nd in command, Reaper boss etc.All very memorable stuff and characters.
Finished the show and...nothing, it was unfortunately a colossal waste of time, nothing gets really "solved", nothing "ends" - BUT WAIITT !!!! - did you know that there are already FIVE- let me spell that out - F-I-V-E motherfuggin'' spin-offs in production ? To be exact, 3 are already out : Fear the Walking Dead, TWD: World beyond and the newly released TWD : Dead City ! Yesss !!!There's a Daryll Dixon one coming this fall AND a Rick 7 Michonne one coming...fuck knows when.
Now, all this proverbial milking is a shame- it's a friggin' shame 'cause, ain't nobody got all that free time for sub-par shows (and World beyond is most definitely one) but, for example, the last episode of S02 of "TWD: World Beyond" actually tells you/shows how the whole zombie virus outbreak happened - pretty cool stuff and something that puts at rest all the speculations.
Yes, in the comics is never explained and this was written/created for the "TV universe" of TWD but it's still fascinating stuff - which obviously will lead to even more milking of the franchise
Anyway, i'm fucking done boys and girls, i've spent 12 years of my life for...this, i knew it was shit for years but i'm still disappointed dammit.
Gotta be honest, after the Negan story-arc i was mostly hate-watching it due to obvious reasons :
- Absolutely god-awful production values - everything felt cheap, from set pieces, to special FX to cinematography and location shooting.
- Ridiculous & unlikeable characters.
- Bad acting from 99% of the cast.
- Emphasis on the "drama" - this motherfucking show started to feel more like a soap opera in the vein of "The bold and the beautiful" than a horror-drama one, absolutely horrible stuff.
- Bad script/writing.
Regarding the ridiculousness of it all again, this show had it all :
- Gay man Aaron (but at the same time, one the manliest motherfuckers out there as to also satisfy the more puritan crowd) with a - wait for it - spiked-ball for a hand.A SPIKED BALL FOR A HAND !
- RAssSta MaAn that talks like an idiot with a...pet tiger...a PET TIGER ! HOW COOL IS THAT ? AMIRITE ? Also : "The Kingdom", le cringe.
- Gabriel (Seth Gilliam) : a - not all all banal/cliche' - Kickass priest , how cool is that ? Also, terrible fucking acting with some of the most preachy and cringe lines in the show.
Every God damn scene with him in it was sleep inducing.
- The whole "Whisperers" seasons are just...stupid would be too kind of a word, mf'ers just blend in by walking at a snail's pace alongside the dead ? And that's how they live/survive ? LMFAO, GTFOH, seriously...
- A guy called "Jesus" with the most ridiculous fake beard on TV who also...karates motherfucking zombies BUT, gets killed like an idiot in a slow-mo scene by a whisperer because..."DRAMA !!!".Plot armor until it doesn't suit the show anymore.
- Black actresses that - unfortunately - were put on the show just for the diversity quota that add absolutely nothing of value to the show, they're just there "because".
Kelly has got to be one the best characters ever, she's black, deaf and gay ! Imagine if she/he/whatever was also non-able (i hope that's the politically correct word) she would have scored even more internet points.Also : her also (deaf) sister which also added absolutely nothing of value to the show, she was just there to act as a semi love interest for Daryll in a few episodes and then...nothing, Kelly was just there to translate - 'cause that's all she did in this friggin' show and yet, these absolutely waste of characters managed to make it to the end of the show without getting killed, just amazing writing...
- Motherfucking Storm troopers in the Walking Dead universe : just utterly, mind-blowingly and mind-numbingly ridiculous , armors looked cheap as fuck and just plain stupid, God damn they looked like something out of a CW show.Also, where were these armors made ? JFC...no words.
Also : The commonwealth arc, just nope.
Zombies : They're just there to be killed in 0.5 secs like newborn rabbits by a hit in the head (with zero impact/force/movement due to bad choreography and special FX).
- Constant Deus-ex machina moments out of the ass "just 'cause" and... "Dramaaaa !".
- Rosita : that bait and switch in the last episode was just...fuck me.Slow-mo scene with her falling from a 10m height into a herd of zombies - with her baby also strapped to her - BUT WAIT ! She strong ! She beautiful ! She royalll ! Enter crescendo music and slow-mo scene where she...gets up and frees herself and magically manages to perform an auto-ledge grab that wouldn't work nor look realistic even in fucking Uncharted with its auto-platforming and manages to save herself - OR DID SHE ? Turns out, she got bitten ! BUT WAIT, instead of turning into a flesh-eating monster in a couple of hours, she just takes it chill and manages to (finally) die on her own terms, ON HER OWN TERMS DAMMIT !!!
S-s-s-s-subverting expectaaationssss man ! Obviously, she had all her beloved friends around her for that emotional all-American® scene with appropriate sad music playing in the background.
- The reapers : terrible, terrible stuff, from Daryll's love interest's actress's acting (fucking horrible), to the fact that they're presented as an unstoppable force when they're first introduced only for them to - you know - not being as "unstoppable" after a couple of episodes with them being killed even by the most inexperienced members of "our" crew.
Bonus : Carol, a "Mary Sue" character, boring, with very dubious acting due to the whole non-expression face because of "plastic/cosmetic surgery", i just couldn't watch her when she was on screen, absolutely horrible acting and she was also one of the regulars/main cast, how ? She's absolutely unwatchable.
- Magna character : what's a slender pornstar looking woman with bottox out the whazoo doing in TWD universe ? Shit's more unrealistic than Norman Reedus' hair dye for fuck's sake.Also : yet another character that adds absolutely nothing of value to the plot and show.Useless
- Norman Reedus' hair dye : zombies look more realistic than this shit.
Seriously, what the fuck were these last 3 seasons ? (not that the previous ones were that much better).
What started as (somewhat) semi-decent shlocky horror show quickly devolved into badly acted soap opera with some zombies sprinkled in.
You know what ? It wasn't all bad though, the S01E01 episode is still some of the best schlocky Horror episodes on TV with spot-on atmosphere and mystery.Killing Shane, his wife-fucker was also good shlocky TV due mostly to some semi-decent acting , as was Rick chewing on his son's motherfucking wannabe rapist's throat somewhere in S04 IIRC, as was the whole CDC episode in S01, as was the Negan "i'm-gonna-bash-maggie's-husband-head-with-my-bat-until-his-eye-pops-out" episode, as was the last episode of S02 were they open the barn,as was Rick's son's death, the whole of "here's Negan episode"...you get the idea, there were some pretty good episodes sprinkled here and there between all the badly acted, poorly written shlocky shitty episodes/seasons, it wasn't ALL bad in the end, the show did have some good moments.
Also, most of the "big/main baddies" in this show were actually good and very memorable with some good acting on display : The Governor, Negan (in the beginning), Whisperer lady, Whisperer lady's 2nd in command, Reaper boss etc.All very memorable stuff and characters.
Finished the show and...nothing, it was unfortunately a colossal waste of time, nothing gets really "solved", nothing "ends" - BUT WAIITT !!!! - did you know that there are already FIVE- let me spell that out - F-I-V-E motherfuggin'' spin-offs in production ? To be exact, 3 are already out : Fear the Walking Dead, TWD: World beyond and the newly released TWD : Dead City ! Yesss !!!There's a Daryll Dixon one coming this fall AND a Rick 7 Michonne one coming...fuck knows when.
Now, all this proverbial milking is a shame- it's a friggin' shame 'cause, ain't nobody got all that free time for sub-par shows (and World beyond is most definitely one) but, for example, the last episode of S02 of "TWD: World Beyond" actually tells you/shows how the whole zombie virus outbreak happened - pretty cool stuff and something that puts at rest all the speculations.
Yes, in the comics is never explained and this was written/created for the "TV universe" of TWD but it's still fascinating stuff - which obviously will lead to even more milking of the franchise
Anyway, i'm fucking done boys and girls, i've spent 12 years of my life for...this, i knew it was shit for years but i'm still disappointed dammit.
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