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[Menthuss]

I just reached out to my insurance for a referral to talk to someone about my depression for the first time ever. It was actually a very powerful podcast that got me to, With Friends Like These.

It was weird to tell a stranger over the phone what I was feeling. I've never told anyone my mental state, save for my ex-girlfriend. I know it's all part of the process, however. Well, I'm assuming anyway. I don't really know the process.

It's good that you're taking steps to deal with your depression! Having someone to listen to your problems (someone who won't just respond with "Just cheer up" or "You need to get out more") can be a huge weight off your shoulders.

EDIT:

Monday depression and severe anxiety

- is this a thing for anyone else? Is it related to alcohol? I drink quite heavily during the weekend and then the beginning of the week is pure hell, especially the day of monday. It gradually fades away and I'm more than fine by the middle of the week, but this cycle is more than 5 years old and I can't stand it anymore. I don't take any medication and I'd like to avoid it as much as possible, but what the fuck?
An ordinary monday is something like this: don't feel like talking to anyone, including my wife; severe stomach butterflies for the entire day; thoughts of paranoia and of bad things happening to my loved ones; sleepiness, dizziness. It all begins to fade away ny the evening and feel a lot better as soon as I work out in the evening.

Recommendations gaf? Can't stand this shit anymore.

Can you recall any event that might have caused these emotions? Have you ever brought this up with your wife/anyone else? If you'd rather not talk to anyone you know about it, I'd suggest talking to a therapist. They might be able to shed some light on what's going on.
EDIT2: I missed the "heavy drinking during the weekend" part. You might want to start looking there.

 

[ManUnkindH]

Monday depression and severe anxiety

- is this a thing for anyone else? Is it related to alcohol? I drink quite heavily during the weekend and then the beginning of the week is pure hell, especially the day of monday. It gradually fades away and I'm more than fine by the middle of the week, but this cycle is more than 5 years old and I can't stand it anymore. I don't take any medication and I'd like to avoid it as much as possible, but what the fuck?
An ordinary monday is something like this: don't feel like talking to anyone, including my wife; severe stomach butterflies for the entire day; thoughts of paranoia and of bad things happening to my loved ones; sleepiness, dizziness. It all begins to fade away ny the evening and feel a lot better as soon as I work out in the evening.

Recommendations gaf? Can't stand this shit anymore.

 

[Zeyphersan]

It's good that you're taking steps to deal with your depression! Having someone to listen to your problems (someone who won't just respond with "Just cheer up" or "You need to get out more") can be a huge weight off your shoulders.

I appreciate that. And yeah, that's what I'm hoping. I've kept this bottled up for too long, I should have reached out years and years ago. Like I have insurance, what the hell. I'm a pretty stubborn person.

I'm hoping some good comes out of it. There's no other way to say it, I just need help

 

[brianjones]

Monday depression and severe anxiety

- is this a thing for anyone else? Is it related to alcohol? I drink quite heavily during the weekend and then the beginning of the week is pure hell, especially the day of monday. It gradually fades away and I'm more than fine by the middle of the week, but this cycle is more than 5 years old and I can't stand it anymore. I don't take any medication and I'd like to avoid it as much as possible, but what the fuck?
An ordinary monday is something like this: don't feel like talking to anyone, including my wife; severe stomach butterflies for the entire day; thoughts of paranoia and of bad things happening to my loved ones; sleepiness, dizziness. It all begins to fade away ny the evening and feel a lot better as soon as I work out in the evening.

Recommendations gaf? Can't stand this shit anymore.

Seems more than likely related to the alcohol

Can you go a weekend without drinking and see how you feel ?

 

[ManUnkindH]

Seems more than likely related to the alcohol

Can you go a weekend without drinking and see how you feel ?

I'll try and do that, but I have an extremely stressful job and most of the times I can't wait for friday night and a bottle of scotch to forget about all the shit. I'll continue until sunday evening. Is there a medical term for this? What the fuck is it?

 

[Menthuss]

I'll try and do that, but I have an extremely stressful job and most of the times I can't wait for friday night and a bottle of scotch to forget about all the shit. I'll continue until sunday evening. Is there a medical term for this? What the fuck is it?

Sounds like Alcoholism tbh. I mean, having a drink every once in a while is fine but trying to cope with your stress by drinking lots of alcohol is a bad idea IMO.

 

[Zeyphersan]

I'll try and do that, but I have an extremely stressful job and most of the times I can't wait for friday night and a bottle of scotch to forget about all the shit. I'll continue until sunday evening. Is there a medical term for this? What the fuck is it?

I ain't a professional but it sounds like textbook alcoholism

 

[unknownstranger]

I don't understand this, why would you tell your teacher your a failure if you want to be alone? Wouldn't that comment incite some sort of response from her which would inhibit your goal?


Do you have anyone you can talk to about the difficulties your having in school?

I don't have anyone I feel comfortable talking to in real life. I'm autistic and anytime people in real life try to help me (like counselor's) I just completely clam up. I've always wanted to find a way where I can find a counselor locally but only communicate with them online but never had the opportunity, so I've gotten help throughout my life from random forum boards instead.

My mind switches between thinking rationally and irrationally so dramatically. I'm struggling with my class right now but my grade is still fine. This happens once or twice with every class where I start struggling badly and want to quit it but eventually end up powering through it. Really my biggest therapy getting help with this every time it happens is time. I struggle one week with something but the next week is something I have an easier time with and I move on.

Basically, my post was senseless whining about something that happens relatively often but I need to talk myself through it (usually making a long post and thinking it over like this one).

 

[ManUnkindH]

Sounds like Alcoholism tbh. I mean, having a drink every once in a while is fine but trying to cope with your stress by drinking lots of alcohol is a bad idea IMO.

I ain't a professional but it sounds like textbook alcoholism

If it was alcoholism wouldn't I feel the need to drink every day(which I don't)? I have a pretty organized life during the week - work, family, workout, gaming with no alcohol whatsoever.
Well, I don't know. I'll try not drinking for a few weekends and see how it goes...

 

[Menthuss]

If it was alcoholism wouldn't I feel the need to drink every day(which I don't)? I have a pretty organized life during the week - work, family, workout, gaming with no alcohol whatsoever.
Well, I don't know. I'll try not drinking for a few weekends and see how it goes...

I'm no professional but the way you worded it gave me the impression that you're dependant on it. But yeah, try to avoid alcohol for a couple of weekends and see how it goes.

 

[Zeyphersan]

If it was alcoholism wouldn't I feel the need to drink every day(which I don't)? I have a pretty organized life during the week - work, family, workout, gaming with no alcohol whatsoever.
Well, I don't know. I'll try not drinking for a few weekends and see how it goes...

No, alcoholism doesn't mean you drink every day, and there is such a thing as being a functioning alcoholic. The heavy drinking during the weekends (and the looking forward to it during the week to destress) and then the refraction period immediately after are all pretty big signs

 

[AppleSeason]

Miniupdate:

I've been again being in an out of depression and anxiety. Bupropion was another failure in the end. not only it was causing me physical pain, constipation and hair loss, but it also started filling my head with constant disturbing thoughts and suicidal ideas. it did not make shit for ADHD either, so i ended cold turkeying it without side effects.


The good news is that I am not doing badly with my brain off drugs, and I finally can afford a therapist. Well, I could afford her since January, but it has taken me 4 months to woman the fuck up and call her.

At least I have separated my emotional issues on one side, and the ADHD ones on the other. they intertwine a bit, but require two completely different approach. Some CBT to fix my working and studying habits would be nice, but for now I'm on my own, just working with this therapist on the emotional part.



Speaking of my paranoia about being a potential alcoholic, a craft beer managed to kill my taste for booze again. Ugh. My caffeine issues are improving, at least.


Therapist asked me if I had developed an awareness of when I was falling again into a bad episode, and which people I contacted and talked with about it when at my worst. I had to tell her that after having lost so many people over the years for expressing it and being considered a toxic person, I just bottle things inside for fears of losing even more people.

 

[vegohead]

I don't have anyone I feel comfortable talking to in real life. I'm autistic and anytime people in real life try to help me (like counselor's) I just completely clam up. I've always wanted to find a way where I can find a counselor locally but only communicate with them online but never had the opportunity, so I've gotten help throughout my life from random forum boards instead.

My mind switches between thinking rationally and irrationally so dramatically. I'm struggling with my class right now but my grade is still fine. This happens once or twice with every class where I start struggling badly and want to quit it but eventually end up powering through it. Really my biggest therapy getting help with this every time it happens is time. I struggle one week with something but the next week is something I have an easier time with and I move on.

Basically, my post was senseless whining about something that happens relatively often but I need to talk myself through it (usually making a long post and thinking it over like this one).

I don't think what your doing is senseless since you know that writing these comments help you out in the end.

I used psychology today to find my previous counselor who I still text every so often when I'm feeling down. Your able to email the counselor directly so you can explain your situation. Good luck.

https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/?tr=Hdr_Brand

 

[SlasherJPC]

So... does anyone have experience with severe, sudden panic attacks. Where suddenly your heart is beating out of your chest. Mine happen mostly at night when waking up. Rarely during the day. Usually daytime is just anxious feelings.

If so, what all did you do to get through those moments. Im so concerned there is something wrong with me or my heart at this point.

Now Ive been given paxil. Im on day 5 of taking it and its just making me feel jittery, spacey, out of it, and this wierd feeling I cant describe in my stomach and chest. Like tension or shaking maybe? Last night felt that waking up and had a huge panic attack. Had to take a xanax.

Im really at my wits end here. Its effecting me going to work. Im on family medical leave when I have bad days, and I feel like Im never going to get better. This has seemingly gotten worse and worse since feb. Im going to therapy, doing anxiety techniques to calm myself and now starting meds.

 

[JDHarbs]

Just had the girl I went out with last summer show up on Tinder, and now all of those feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness that I've spent the past year trying to heal are coming back.

I just wish I had someone, anyone, to help me out of this pit that I've been in for over a decade now, and tell me that those feelings are not true. That I'm doing okay. That I'm not a failure. That I'm a good person. That I didn't ruin my life. That I still have a future, and everything will be alright in the end.

 

[SlasherJPC]

Just had the girl I went out with last summer show up on Tinder, and now all of those feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness that I've spent the past year trying to heal are coming back.

I just wish I had someone, anyone, to help me through this and tell me that it's not true. That I'm doing okay. That I'm not a failure. That I'm a good person. That I didn't ruin my life. That I still have a future, and everything will be alright in the end.

You are alright. She doesnt define your worth. You do. This is a minor set back. Remove tinder and get your mind off things.

 

[Lemaitre]

So... does anyone have experience with severe, sudden panic attacks. Where suddenly your heart is beating out of your chest. Mine happen mostly at night when waking up. Rarely during the day. Usually daytime is just anxious feelings.

If so, what all did you do to get through those moments. Im so concerned there is something wrong with me or my heart at this point.

Now Ive been given paxil. Im on day 5 of taking it and its just making me feel jittery, spacey, out of it, and this wierd feeling I cant describe in my stomach and chest. Like tension or shaking maybe? Last night felt that waking up and had a huge panic attack. Had to take a xanax.

Im really at my wits end here. Its effecting me going to work. Im on family medical leave when I have bad days, and I feel like Im never going to get better. This has seemingly gotten worse and worse since feb. Im going to therapy, doing anxiety techniques to calm myself and now starting meds.

No experience with severe panic attacks but I would say that you should stick it out with Paxil a bit longer if possible. I had that same jittery/awake/spacey feeling from it the first several days as well. If you can give it at least two months, if not that at least a month before switching to another SSRI or adding something like Wellburtin.

How long have you been taking Xanax? I just ask because the benzodiazepine class of drugs can have a very negative long term effect on patients. Psychiatrists are always advised to prescribe them only in the short term and as little as possible. Your best bet is finding an anti-depressant that works for you. Also you could try looking into CBT as well as it has been shown to have a lot of positive results for those with anxiety issues.

 

[Via Purifico]

Just had the girl I went out with last summer show up on Tinder, and now all of those feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness that I've spent the past year trying to heal are coming back.

I just wish I had someone, anyone, to help me out of this pit that I've been in for over a decade now, and tell me that those feelings are not true. That I'm doing okay. That I'm not a failure. That I'm a good person. That I didn't ruin my life. That I still have a future, and everything will be alright in the end.

Dating apps wont help your self esteem, take a breather and try to focus on the good things that are coming. You are worth something but not because of someone else.

 

[DeathoftheEndless]

Recommendations gaf? Can't stand this shit anymore.

It sounds to me like stress about work is causing a lot of your problems. Drinking to forget about it on weekends and having a lot of anxiety at the beginning of your work week is not healthy. I know switching jobs is very difficult, but I think you should at least think about it.

 

[Trevelyon]

Recently fell off the wagon after 8 months sobriety. Had some meniscus inflammation in March that knocked me out of the gym, laid me up off work for a bit, took some vacation on top of that and basically drank every day and fucked off with doing nothing productive or mentally stimulating.

All my rountines are off, my anxieties and depression are really deep set again. I'm back at work and really struggling to get my head together and be on point. Trying to get my gym act together working my upper body, but I'm fatigued, flat and just fucking pathetic, dropping reps and bailing out of shit and I'm just crying out for a drink to alievate the anxiety and stress of the day.

Most of my daily concerns are about how much booze I have left and making sure i'm topped off after work (most liquor stores close around 7pm in my area, I knock off after 6pm) All in all, I'm back in this shitty alchy rut and it sucks.

 

[SlasherJPC]

No experience with severe panic attacks but I would say that you should stick it out with Paxil a bit longer if possible. I had that same jittery/awake/spacey feeling from it the first several days as well. If you can give it at least two months, if not that at least a month before switching to another SSRI or adding something like Wellburtin.

How long have you been taking Xanax? I just ask because the benzodiazepine class of drugs can have a very negative long term effect on patients. Psychiatrists are always advised to prescribe them only in the short term and as little as possible. Your best bet is finding an anti-depressant that works for you. Also you could try looking into CBT as well as it has been shown to have a lot of positive results for those with anxiety issues.

I had the xanax on and off for months. I have had maybe 25 to 30 pills in thr last 4 months or so. Def not a daily use kinda thing. Also whats CBT?

 

[brianjones]

I can tell you firsthand that alcohol will only increase your anxiety in the long term

what starts as a temporary relief from it soon becomes your body becoming anxious because its craving alcohol

I used to drink daily for about 5 years and figured out that the primary cause of my anxiety was alcohol when I stopped drinking for a month.. used to go to sleep with a giant buzz every night because I didn't know how to sleep like a normal person anymore

 

[Anung]

Intrusive thoughts and depression are kind of coming to a head at the moment. It's been a lot harder to distract myself from it so it occupies a lot of my waking thoughts. Usually suicidal ideation is always in the back of my mind but recently is been front and centre and I'm legitimately thinking of the best ways to kill my self. I genuinely wish killing myself was easy.

 

[RoyaleDuke]

Intrusive thoughts and depression are kind of coming to a head at the moment. It's been a lot harder to distract myself from it so it occupies a lot of my waking thoughts. Usually suicidal ideation is always in the back of my mind but recently is been front and centre and I'm legitimately thinking of the best ways to kill my self. I genuinely wish killing myself was easy.

Please hold on, I have such sights to show you. ;-; My books will be worth the wait.

Spoiler

Also, if I don't see your name posting regularly I will beat your corpse back to life. <3

 

[Fall Into The GAF]

So...uh, how do you cope with the potential fact that you may never be able to have an intimate relationship with anybody anymore? I may be at that cross road in the near future. I don't want to get into specifics, but this has weighed on me severely this past 6 months or so. I know there's a psychosomatic element to it, but I am not emotionally ready to deal with a future where I'll be forcibly celibate for the rest of my life.

Also, somewhat related but as time has gone on, I feel less motivated to make new friends and be more social because of the countless anecdotes and articles proclaiming, with absolute authority, that making new friends after college is extremely hard/near impossible. Am I just closing myself off again? I don't like the person I am becoming right now and I need something reassuring at the very least.

 

[jb1234]

So...uh, how do you cope with the potential fact that you may never be able to have an intimate relationship with anybody anymore?

I push it as far away from my mind as possible. Booze helps.

 

[Zeyphersan]

Just had the girl I went out with last summer show up on Tinder, and now all of those feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness that I've spent the past year trying to heal are coming back.

I just wish I had someone, anyone, to help me out of this pit that I've been in for over a decade now, and tell me that those feelings are not true. That I'm doing okay. That I'm not a failure. That I'm a good person. That I didn't ruin my life. That I still have a future, and everything will be alright in the end.

Dating apps wont help your self esteem, take a breather and try to focus on the good things that are coming. You are worth something but not because of someone else.

This is 100% the truth. If you're having issues with self-esteem or inadequacy being on dating sites are the LAST place you want to be. You won't find validation, only more excuses to hate yourself. Take it from me who has been there several, several times and never seems to learn my lesson. Take care of yourself first, and the rest will come naturally.

 

[luna_s]

Has anyone heard of anything like this ?

I go through cycles, it starts with olfactory hallucinations for a few days (I can smell strong smoke) After this the smell goes I'm hit with a strong bout of depression for 1-2 weeks, then when that starts breaking I'm usually hyper for a few days (extroverted) after this I'm fine for a while until the smoke hits again. It's almost like clockwork and predictable - the cycle usually lasts about a month.

 

[fireflame]

This is 100% the truth. If you're having issues with self-esteem or inadequacy being on dating sites are the LAST place you want to be. You won't find validation, only more excuses to hate yourself. Take it from me who has been there several, several times and never seems to learn my lesson. Take care of yourself first, and the rest will come naturally.

I can relate to that, dating apps only made me feel more irrelevant and out of the world. I was trying to provide effort, to redact well thought texts, but the fact i had issues + being unemployed made me feel i was having apenalty following me.

 

[karasu]

I had a really bad reaction to medication (Effexor) this week. For some reason, despite the fact that I've taken it before, it made my blood pressure shoot up to something like 202/123. I could have died. But what got to me most was when I realized that outside of my mom and my brother I simply had no one to tell. There is no one in my life. I would have died and become something less than a memory. I do suffer from social anxiety/phobia so I have a really hard time connecting with people. But on top of that, throughout my life, it has always been kind of like I'm invisible. I always get one of two reactions from people: one that says I'm intimidating ( the big black guy I guess) and the other is "Jesus you scared me! I didn't know you were there." On the internet, it's just sheer indifference. Here on GAF for example. I've posted here since 1999 and I have never made a single friend or acquaintance on the site. The same goes for social media. Hell, even multiplayer games. My psn has like two dudes on it and I have no idea who they are. I'm realizing that this a pattern that I just don't know how to break. It is beyond me. I could see if I was some kind of loud douche who walked around blatantly offending people. But that isn't the case. The only form of social interaction I have is when I watch a podcast and feel like I've connected with these people for an hour. When it ends, nothingness.Thinking about all of this while the docs were trying to get my pressure under control so I didn't have a massive stroke has just kind of deepened my depression. I was always a loner. At least partially by choice. But now I feel truly alone. It feels like even the walls of my apartment have moved further away from me than usual. I have the family (mom, bro, aunt) and they are great. No complaints. But it would be nice to have an impact or some influence outside of those who are kind of obligated to care for me. What the hell am I gonna look back on in my twilight years? What is the point? I know life has no grand all-encompassing meaning. But goddamn, what is the point? Believe me, I know this all sounds kind of 'I tried so hard and got so farrrrrrrrr -ish'. But it's where my head is right now. What can ya do.

 

[Zeshile]

Before I post what's going on with me, just want to say all of you are in my thoughts. I've never posted, by I try to read daily.

As for me, I'm not sure where to start. I've had some form of depression for the last 10 years. I've mostly coped with it, with a few exceptions. In addition, mostly starting a few years ago, I became very socially anxious. I don't want to talk about that too much, but it can get to the point where I become physically ill. It extends to online conversations as well, even this is tough for me.

And now why I'm posting here. Starting about 2 weeks ago, I've been beginning to see and hear strange things. The first thing I saw was a man with no face. I was driving by, and I slowed to a near stop to make sure I was seeing this right, but I couldn't see a face. Just a crease across the middle. Later that week, I heard someone whisper my name very clearly, with no one around me. Then, earlier this week, I was driving again. It had been raining and I was driving by a large puddle that had formed. I didn't notice until I splashed it, but when I did, it looked like blood to me. It took me a long time convincing myself before I was pretty sure it was water. Although part of me still wonders.

I see things moving in my peripheral often and I also hear things people I'm around don't hear. Not voices, other than the one. Just noises.

Thanks to anyone taking the time to read this. I've always been afraid of having a serious mental illness, so I thought maybe talking about it in a safe place would make me feel better. Sorry about any grammar or spelling problems.

 

[Menthuss]

I had a really bad reaction to medication (Effexor) this week. For some reason, despite the fact that I've taken it before, it made my blood pressure shoot up to something like 202/123. I could have died. But what got to me most was when I realized that outside of my mom and my brother I simply had no one to tell. There is no one in my life. I would have died and become something less than a memory. I do suffer from social anxiety/phobia so I have a really hard time connecting with people. But on top of that, throughout my life, it has always been kind of like I'm invisible. I always get one of two reactions from people: one that says I'm intimidating ( the big black guy I guess) and the other is "Jesus you scared me! I didn't know you were there." On the internet, it's just sheer indifference. Here on GAF for example. I've posted here since 1999 and I have never made a single friend or acquaintance on the site. The same goes for social media. Hell, even multiplayer games. My psn has like two dudes on it and I have no idea who they are. I'm realizing that this a pattern that I just don't know how to break. It is beyond me. I could see if I was some kind of loud douche who walked around blatantly offending people. But that isn't the case. The only form of social interaction I have is when I watch a podcast and feel like I've connected with these people for an hour. When it ends, nothingness.Thinking about all of this while the docs were trying to get my pressure under control so I didn't have a massive stroke has just kind of deepened my depression. I was always a loner. At least partially by choice. But now I feel truly alone. It feels like even the walls of my apartment have moved further away from me than usual. I have the family (mom, bro, aunt) and they are great. No complaints. But it would be nice to have an impact or some influence outside of those who are kind of obligated to care for me. What the hell am I gonna look back on in my twilight years? What is the point? I know life has no grand all-encompassing meaning. But goddamn, what is the point? Believe me, I know this all sounds kind of 'I tried so hard and got so farrrrrrrrr -ish'. But it's where my head is right now. What can ya do.

Your problems are pretty much the exact same things I struggle with as well.
You know what I've discovered after 26 years? As much as we desperately hope, the loneliness won't go away on its own. We have to MAKE it go away.
I realise this sounds a lot like the typical "You just need to get out more" bullshit that most people feed you but it's not. I've realised that loneliness is often caused by a ton of smaller, underlying issues and until you address those, all the social contact in the world isn't going to help you.

Have you tried talking to a professional about your issues? I strongly recommend doing so if haven't already.

 

[karasu]

Your problems are pretty much the exact same things I struggle with as well.
You know what I've discovered after 26 years? As much as we desperately hope, the loneliness won't go away on its own. We have to MAKE it go away.
I realise this sounds a lot like the typical "You just need to get out more" bullshit that most people feed you but it's not. I've realised that loneliness is often caused by a ton of smaller, underlying issues and until you address those, all the social contact in the world isn't going to help you.

Have you tried talking to a professional about your issues? I strongly recommend doing so if haven't already.

Yeah I agree with you when it co es down to it. I have a shrink but she's on maternity leave right now. It's been awhile since I've seen her tbh.

 

[Menthuss]

Yeah I agree with you when it co es down to it. I have a shrink but she's on maternity leave right now. It's been awhile since I've seen her tbh.

Did you feel like talks with her were helping you? How long has it been since you last saw her?

 

[Lemaitre]

I see things moving in my peripheral often and I also hear things people I'm around don't hear. Not voices, other than the one. Just noises.

Thanks to anyone taking the time to read this. I've always been afraid of having a serious mental illness, so I thought maybe talking about it in a safe place would make me feel better. Sorry about any grammar or spelling problems.

If you are hallucinating I'd definitely try and get to a doctor or a psychiatrist. It could be a number of different things but the fact that the onset has been so rapid would tell me to try and get help now before it escalates any more.

 

[SlickShoesRUCrazy]

I can feel a crash coming. I am just exhausted mentally and emotionally. I had a crash a few months ago where I was basically going through the motions of day to day life. I was distant from everybody. I was angry. Very angry at myself. A lot of self loathing. It lasted a good two weeks last time. I was irratible and spent most of my day to day alone ignoring everybody at work and just alone in my room when I got home.

I can feel it bubbling up again. We'll see how this week goes.

 

[Menthuss]

I can feel a crash coming. I am just exhausted mentally and emotionally. I had a crash a few months ago where I was basically going through the motions of day to day life. I was distant from everybody. I was angry. Very angry at myself. A lot of self loathing. It lasted a good two weeks last time. I was irratible and spent most of my day to day alone ignoring everybody at work and just alone in my room when I got home.

I can feel it bubbling up again. We'll see how this week goes.

I've been there and know how it feels. Do you have any idea what's causing you all this stress?

 

[Blackquill]

I need to study for my finals (starting in 5 days)

Can't focus, can't even read shit, my brain just doesn't seem to work and I feel like shit because of that. I really can't fail this year so I'm even more nervous

 

[JadedWriter]

So...by...um discussing my views and beliefs on dating it has been confirmed that I'm not...exactly normal or mentally healthy and that I clearly need some help. How do I go about doing this?

 

[Menthuss]

So...by...um discussing my views and beliefs on dating it has been confirmed that I'm not...exactly normal or mentally healthy and that I clearly need some help. How do I go about doing this?

I just googled "Therapy", followed by the place where I live. There were multiple therapists in my town. I just picked one and went for it. My insurance doesn't cover the costs sadly but I feel very comfortable with her. I've only had 4 sessions so far but they've already helped me a ton.

Make you sure you get an intake interview first btw, preferably against a reduced rate if possible. It might take you a bit before you find a therapist that you feel comfortable with. It's a bit like dating in that sense, haha.

 

[JadedWriter]

I just googled "Therapy", followed by the place where I live. There were multiple therapists in my town. I just picked one and went for it. My insurance doesn't cover the costs sadly but I feel very comfortable with her. I've only had 4 sessions so far but they've already helped me a ton.

Make you sure you get an intake interview first btw, preferably against a reduced rate if possible. It might take you a bit before you find a therapist that you feel comfortable with. It's a bit like dating in that sense, haha.

Yeah was hoping for something that my insurance covered. I need to call them up to see what they offer. My thought process with everything people related is flat out unhealthy. I had no idea it was that bad till I essentially got drop kicked about it from multiple sides.

 

[SlickShoesRUCrazy]

I've been there and know how it feels. Do you have any idea what's causing you all this stress?

A lot of it stems from being on a plateau in life right now. I am about to be 32, still live at home, struggling on passing the California bar with a attorney position waiting for me.

Add to watching all my friends paired off and having kids now, while I'm still living with my parents, just a lot of anger towards myself for being failure after failure.

 

[Menthuss]

A lot of it stems from being on a plateau in life right now. I am about to be 32, still live at home, struggling on passing the California bar with a attorney position waiting for me.

Add to watching all my friends paired off and having kids now, while I'm still living with my parents, just a lot of anger towards myself for being failure after failure.

While I'm a bit younger than you (26), I know very well how it feels. Directing all that anger and frustration at yourself isn't helpful however. It's only going to lead you into a negative spiral. We're often our own worst enemy: It's easy to focus only on the negative things in your life and ignoring the positive ones.

Have you considered talking with a professional? (I feel like I've been saying this a LOT lately, lol).

 

[RoyaleDuke]

I feel so hopelessly miserable that it won't change. ever. because it hasn't.

Ever.

 

[Zeyphersan]

So...by...um discussing my views and beliefs on dating it has been confirmed that I'm not...exactly normal or mentally healthy and that I clearly need some help. How do I go about doing this?

I called up my insurance and went through their process. That way you know it's legit and that they'll cover it. Mine had a little bit of a wrinkle in that since I get my health insurance through an employer (my dad's) there's different benefits for mental health insurance vs other stuff, but I'll sort that all out later. The first important step was just getting to someone, and I suggest you do the same if it's something you feel you need.

I told my best friend sort of timidly that I was seeing a therapist and he legitimately started beaming and told me that was great, unironically. That mental health is a far-too ignored part of personal health and he was super happy that I was taking steps to take care of it. He told me the main reason he's going after insurance so hard lately is for the same reason. That reaction honestly meant the entire world to me.

 

[JadedWriter]

I called up my insurance and went through their process. That way you know it's legit and that they'll cover it. Mine had a little bit of a wrinkle in that since I get my health insurance through an employer (my dad's) there's different benefits for mental health insurance vs other stuff, but I'll sort that all out later. The first important step was just getting to someone, and I suggest you do the same if it's something you feel you need.

I told my best friend sort of timidly that I was seeing a therapist and he legitimately started beaming and told me that was great, unironically. That mental health is a far-too ignored part of personal health and he was super happy that I was taking steps to take care of it. He told me the main reason he's going after insurance so hard lately is for the same reason. That reaction honestly meant the entire world to me.

Yeah I have to call up my insurer about this, maybe they have a list of who to call. I really do not want to deal with this one in a room full of people though.

 

[junpei]

Grab your cell phone, jump into your car and pull into&#8203; an abandoned parking lot or remote area and do it there. Often times they send you an email with a list of practitioners near you. I've found that the insurance people are very helpful about this sort of thing.

 

[JadedWriter]

Grab your cell phone, jump into your car and pull into&#8203; an abandoned parking lot or remote area and do it there. Often times they send you an email with a list of practitioners near you. I've found that the insurance people are very helpful about this sort of thing.

I could just go to the bathroom...oh yeah crap signal. I'll figure it out at some point, it's definitely not going to be an over night situation. I think right now I'm just mentally prioritizing my housing situation.

 

[karasu]

Did you feel like talks with her were helping you? How long has it been since you last saw her?

Yes she has definitely been a help. Somehow it's been about nine months since I've seen her. I'll be seeing her again next month however.

 

[Bagels]

Haven't dropped by in a while. I'm trucking along on my meds, working long hours, spending time with family, trying to stay connected with friends...I'm living, in other words, and I find more happiness and contentment in between the inevitable dips into depression. Life goes on and I find that, more and more, I'm so glad I'm here to see all of it.

I truly wish all of you the best, which sounds like some hollow BS, but I hope you know I mean it! This community saved me in a very real sense and I will always owe it a debt of gratitude. I cannot believe where I am now versus where I was when I started really getting active in this group. I draw some hope from my own journey and the journeys of many of my friends from this community.

I don't really have time for the lengthy chats I used to share with so many of you. I miss those days, even if I'm glad to be busy living my life. What I can promise you is that, if you write to me, I'll write back. PM me and I can send you an address and/or an email. I'll respond with a handwritten letter. That's kind of my deal. Ask me questions, vent at me, whatever. I'll get back to you and I'll do my best to offer what I have to offer.