Hey GAF,
this is quite an embarrassing situation, to say the least. Let me try to tell you my story - and sorry if there are many typos or grammar mistakes. It is not my main language and I`m under some brutal stress right now. Sorry about the long and boring read.
I was raised in a middle-class family in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, my dad passed away when I was just eight and life since then has been tough, but bearable. Got a degree in History (and a M.A in Political History from a prestigious federal university which are tuition/cost-free), had a pretty good job teaching at a private school. Things were nice, my salary was able to pay most of our household debts and life got better for a while.
As most of my research was on Jewish History, I was a teacher in a nice Jewish school. But then, I began feeling that things were not moving forward. Since I was ten, I`ve had deep anxiety problems that got better when I`ve reached university. With all the work load (5 days a week, 9 hours a day) and the economic crisis/inflation/urban violence in Rio de Janeiro, it began affecting me deeply with chest pain and headaches being recurrent. Insomnia was unbearable and my productivity plummeted. Situation at home was also absurdly shitty. As the salary was destined to bills and debts, I had to live with my mom and she is a very difficult person and was constantly questioning my decisions
By that time I`ve got engaged with an ex-girlfriend. The relationship was troublesome, I`ve picked up drinking - meaning begin drinking on an afternoon and stopping by the next day at 12. Life was terrible, I've attempted suicide once or twice. Then I`ve decided to do a PhD abroad and break off with this toxic environment. Got a little bit more religious and it helped a lot.
First, I've tried a program in Sweden. I was selected but by the end they've said that as a non-European, they could not grant me a scholarship. Then, I've decided for Israel. I've managed to find a nice place, the faculty is plural, it would improve my terrible hebrew, the program is amazing. Scholarships were plenty but external funding was necessary as more costs were involved. My girl encouraged me to do it. External funding was secured from a private donor. Things were nice, I was able to save some money, sold my computer and videogames, bought an air ticket to Tel Aviv.
After three days of adaptation in the middle of the desert (literally), I went to the office to check how things were going and the nightmare began: the private scholarship never arrived, the institute's scholarship was supposed to be paid two months after the beginning of the classes (that was not informed before I came). So, in a short while, I was supposed to handle a gigantic (by my standards) amount of debt: had to loan 6.000 dollars from the bank on top of burning my reserves or something, because people are stupid.
The private donor just said 'I'm sorry, we have rules and they've got the dates wrong, we can get you a third of the original grant" by the end of the year and the Uni began paying me half of the scholarship (300 dollars a month) before just because I went into their offices and said that I would starve if they did not pay me. But the immense debt still stands, I'm trying to pay it little by little transferring money but it is not enough and I'm constantly broke.
On top of that, if I work, the private donor will just suspend the payment and the scholarship would be cut in half. Classes are good, I'm learning a lot but this is killing me. I'm constantly worried about this since ever, anxiety is back and my girl is having second thoughts about coming here because of this. She is probably right.
Please GAF, I have no idea of how can you help, but any help would be good. Sorry about the personal details or maybe about a situation that might look as manageable but I'm making a big fuzz about it.
TLDR - moved country, everything went wrong, debt is killing me and I need help or at least some nice words.
this is quite an embarrassing situation, to say the least. Let me try to tell you my story - and sorry if there are many typos or grammar mistakes. It is not my main language and I`m under some brutal stress right now. Sorry about the long and boring read.
I was raised in a middle-class family in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, my dad passed away when I was just eight and life since then has been tough, but bearable. Got a degree in History (and a M.A in Political History from a prestigious federal university which are tuition/cost-free), had a pretty good job teaching at a private school. Things were nice, my salary was able to pay most of our household debts and life got better for a while.
As most of my research was on Jewish History, I was a teacher in a nice Jewish school. But then, I began feeling that things were not moving forward. Since I was ten, I`ve had deep anxiety problems that got better when I`ve reached university. With all the work load (5 days a week, 9 hours a day) and the economic crisis/inflation/urban violence in Rio de Janeiro, it began affecting me deeply with chest pain and headaches being recurrent. Insomnia was unbearable and my productivity plummeted. Situation at home was also absurdly shitty. As the salary was destined to bills and debts, I had to live with my mom and she is a very difficult person and was constantly questioning my decisions
By that time I`ve got engaged with an ex-girlfriend. The relationship was troublesome, I`ve picked up drinking - meaning begin drinking on an afternoon and stopping by the next day at 12. Life was terrible, I've attempted suicide once or twice. Then I`ve decided to do a PhD abroad and break off with this toxic environment. Got a little bit more religious and it helped a lot.
First, I've tried a program in Sweden. I was selected but by the end they've said that as a non-European, they could not grant me a scholarship. Then, I've decided for Israel. I've managed to find a nice place, the faculty is plural, it would improve my terrible hebrew, the program is amazing. Scholarships were plenty but external funding was necessary as more costs were involved. My girl encouraged me to do it. External funding was secured from a private donor. Things were nice, I was able to save some money, sold my computer and videogames, bought an air ticket to Tel Aviv.
After three days of adaptation in the middle of the desert (literally), I went to the office to check how things were going and the nightmare began: the private scholarship never arrived, the institute's scholarship was supposed to be paid two months after the beginning of the classes (that was not informed before I came). So, in a short while, I was supposed to handle a gigantic (by my standards) amount of debt: had to loan 6.000 dollars from the bank on top of burning my reserves or something, because people are stupid.
The private donor just said 'I'm sorry, we have rules and they've got the dates wrong, we can get you a third of the original grant" by the end of the year and the Uni began paying me half of the scholarship (300 dollars a month) before just because I went into their offices and said that I would starve if they did not pay me. But the immense debt still stands, I'm trying to pay it little by little transferring money but it is not enough and I'm constantly broke.
On top of that, if I work, the private donor will just suspend the payment and the scholarship would be cut in half. Classes are good, I'm learning a lot but this is killing me. I'm constantly worried about this since ever, anxiety is back and my girl is having second thoughts about coming here because of this. She is probably right.
Please GAF, I have no idea of how can you help, but any help would be good. Sorry about the personal details or maybe about a situation that might look as manageable but I'm making a big fuzz about it.
TLDR - moved country, everything went wrong, debt is killing me and I need help or at least some nice words.
