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[DelireMan7]

So I wrote a small riddle for a birthday invitation at my work.

Would like some correction for looking a bit better from a grammatical point of view.

Be an young sprout or a wise old one,
I am pretty sure you (can I use "thou" here ?) all got one.
Remembrance of the passing time,
Thou might not like thine. (not sure of the form here and the conjugation of verb with Thou)
However it will come,
Do it a nice welcome.
And mine is coming,
You’re all welcome joining.

I guess it's weird to mix You and Thou but it that's whatever.
It doesn't have to be perfect as I work in a company with English as official language but with many French and German speaking employee (based in Switzerland) and we all mostly use what we call "broken english".
And it's a casual invitation for my group so not a big deal if it's not perfect.

 

[TintoConCasera]

Wouldn't it be "a young" instead of "an young"? I'm esl but that sounds weird to me.

 

[nush]

Be a young sprout or an old wise one,
I am pretty sure you've all got one.
Remembrance the passing of time,
You might not like mine.
However it will arrive,
Give it a nice welcome.
Mine too is coming.
You’re all welcome to join.

 

[GymWolf]

Still a better rapper than 6ix9ine.

 

[DelireMan7]

Wouldn't it be "a young" instead of "an young"? I'm esl but that sounds weird to me.

"Word" also suggest "a young" but I was thinking before a vowel it should be "an". The letter Y is not a vowel in English ?

Be a young sprout or an old wise one,
I am pretty sure you've all got one.
Remembrance the passing of time,
You might not like mine.
However it will arrive,
Give it a nice welcome.
Mine too is coming.
You’re all welcome to join.

Thanks for the input but actually the first letter of each line is spelling "Birthday". That's why I used "Thou" instead of "You" on the 4th line (and some other weird sentences).

also you changed "Thou might not like thine" into "You might not like mine". I wanted to say "You might not like yours" (but with "Thou" because of the "T"), is it not correct ?

 

[Sakura]

"Word" also suggest "a young" but I was thinking before a vowel it should be "an". The letter Y is not a vowel in English ?

It is "an" before vowel sounds. The y in young is not a vowel sound. (y is sometimes a vowel, but not in this case)
For example h is not a vowel, but you would write an honour instead of a honour, because the h is silent. With "an" it is not the letter that matters, but the sound.

 

[Porcile]

This is actually an invitation for a swingers party.

 

[Toots]

Booya
Im one year older
Retards unite
This [whatever]day
Hit the bar
Drink a few
All booze on me, and
Yes, i'll be counting on you

Bitch i am getting
Old as fuck but i don't care
Yayo for ya'll

(the haïku at hte end was inspired by Neil Druckmann)
Nice idea anyway ! I hope your colleagues play along !

J'espère que vous allez bien vous amuser ! Joyeux anniversaire !!!

 

[22:22:22]

Love your creativity.

 

[Scotty W]

Be an young sprout or a wise old one,
I am pretty sure you (can I use "thou" here ?) all got one.
Remembrance of the passing time,
Thou might not like thine. (not sure of the form here and the conjugation of verb with Thou)
However it will come,
Do it a nice welcome.
And mine is coming,
You’re all welcome joining.

Thou was usually used as a very personal singular address, so I would advise against ‘thou all.’ But you can address each member of a group as thou.

Be thou young sprout or wizened old,
In thine hand thou hast received and holdest
Rememberance of the passing time.
Time to thy lineaments
Hastens ever,
Doing well and ill
And sparing never. Likest thou?
Yea or nay- come, let’s greet him together

 

[AJUMP23]

King James writing poems over here with all his Thees and Thous.

 

[TintoConCasera]

King James writing poems over here with all his Thees and Thous.

 

[22:22:22]

King James writing poems over here with all his Thees and Thous.

Shit's awesome.

 

[AJUMP23]

22:22:22 I only use the King James Bible at church. That makes me a rebel now.

 

[22:22:22]

22:22:22 I only use the King James Bible at church. That makes me a rebel now.

That's quite the transition from a nut to a rebel.

Ehh no disrespect Mr Dangerfield on my headphones triggers my still growing funny bone =P

 

[Wildebeest]

I think if you are going to use thou, you should make it all more personal as if you are talking to one person, without all the "y'alls".

Did you all get one? > Didst thou get one?