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[BitStyle]

and they didn't? He was the one that left to go eat somewhere else.

My response was to him saying that they were going to eat vegan going forward. They offered the guy an alternative and now they're changing their eating habits when they shouldn't have to. If OP and his folk are okay with that then ok

 

[jiggle]

I would have taken their dinners back and told them to leave if they don't want to eat with their family that made the food for them.

You're not the one that will end up with no grandchildren though

 

[Palmer_v1]

Pretty sure he's not getting invited back again.

 

[pretty done]

Well, I'd start by not inviting him around next time.. What an asshole.

This. Let him throw his own vegan dinner party next time instead of inviting a disrespectful douchebag into your home.

 

[paperboywriter]

Embarrassing

 

[TheCochese]

You're not the one that will end up with no grandchildren though

He doesn't want little asshole nieces and nephews though.

 

[Matt]

So was the problem that anyone was eating meat, or that there was a whole dead fish in one peice on the table?

 

[Boney]

I'm glad you and your familly are willing to go an extra 20 miles to accommodate your sister and her husband in order to make the most out of the family trip.

The amount of vitriol here is what I'd expect at a libertarian forum.

Family disputes are never about right/wrong, and contrary to popular belief it's also not about reasonable/unreasonable. They're about what solution you come to when going forward. Okay, your brother-in-law has what you think is a dumb belief and it's disrupting stuff.

You can either:
- Not invite him to dinner
- Invite him after dinner for social stuff but with the understanding that he's not coming to dinner.
- Invite him to dinner and serve exclusively vegan food
- Invite him to dinner and recognize he's going to make a scene
- Try to nag him about how his belief is dumb and get into fights with him about it, ultimately changing nothing but feeling morally superior that you identified a "flaw" in his "logic" or proved he was a "hypocrite"
- Cut him out of your life altogether.

You don't need a coherent argument because there's nothing to argue about. The internet can't validate your course of action here, and it's definitely the case that no one cares what the outcome is. This goes for literally every thread that has ever asked for advice about a family or relationship situation.

God damn.

 

[PSqueak]

How comfortable would people in this thread feel sitting at a table where a dead dog is being consumed?

Well, where i come from dog meat is culturally associated with diseases so it would make me uncomfortable on that side rather than "omg dogs are pets!!".

 

[stilgar]

It's just for ducking disrespectful for your parents. I would have a very serious talk with my sister after this kind of behaviour.

 

[ShemhazaiX]

Except society hasn't seen eating people as normal or accepted and done all the time everywhere.



Why did he go to a family dinner?

What's that got to do with anything? Guy empathises with animals to the extent that there's a disconnect between him and reality. It's completely understandable for him to want to leave the table.

 

[Peltz]

Invite him fishing, op.

 

[Inferno313]

What's that got to do with anything? Guy empathises with animals to the extent that there's a disconnect between him and reality. It's completely understandable for him to want to leave the table.

There are reasons to be Vegan beyond "empathizing with animals to the extent that there's a disconnect between him and reality"

 

[prag16]

When me and my wife go to dinner somewhere, we're always served "the other" dish. We don't say anything, but it feels very disrespectful. Why not serve something everyone can eat? It's not like only vegans can eat vegan food. We're always treated differently, and it kinda sucks.

You eat what you want to eat. Other people eat what they want to eat. Deal with it. Not everybody has to eat how you eat because you're there. If I go to a vegan's house for dinner I kind of expect vegan food and wouldn't huff and puff about the lack of a "non vegan option". But you're suggesting that non-vegans shouldn't serve anybody meat if a vegan is present? That's ridiculous.

 

[Ramirez]

Sounds like your sister caught her quite the catch.

 

[VanWinkle]

What's that got to do with anything? Guy empathises with animals to the extent that there's a disconnect between him and reality. It's completely understandable for him to want to leave the table.

It's about living in the real world, uderstanding that meat is ate everywhere constantly by almost everybody. It's not taboo.

 

[BlueTsunami]

Estrange members of your girlfriends family for the fleeting feeling of moral superiority

vs.

Shut the fuck up and eat the food they provided for you that adheres to your beliefs

The choice is clear

*flips over table*

 

[KHarvey16]

I don't understand how it gets to be dinner time and this wasn't addressed by either of them. If it's so important he would pick up and walk outside you'd think it would be important enough to discuss ahead of time.

Given that I can only really conclude it was done on purpose. Which is self-important bullshit behavior and you shouldn't reward it. Continue to serve your meals as you would and offer him the vegan option. That is sufficiently accommodating. If he keeps coming to dinner and is shocked to see non-vegan consumption happening at the table he can pick up his shit and go eat on the porch.

 

[Nipo]

What's that got to do with anything? Guy empathises with animals to the extent that there's a disconnect between him and reality. It's completely understandable for him to want to leave the table.

That is an interesting POV i hadn't considered. Brother-in-law has a mental illness, knowing this how accommodating should OP be.

 

[Vilam]

So not wanting to watch people eat dead animals is disrespectful?

Yes, absolutely. Don't try to normalize shitty behavior.

 

[Atolm]

At first I thought this happened in a restaurant and I was like, whatever.

But if you invited them over to your house at the very least tell your sister. Your house, your rules, not theirs.

 

[perfectchaos007]

Sounds like your sister caught her quite the catch.

You're making an analogy to fishing in relation to her husband which is very offensive to him.

*leaves thread while stomping out of the room like a toddler*

 

[hydrophilic attack]

So was the problem that anyone was eating meat, or that there was a whole dead fish in one peice on the table?

It wasn't cooked as one big fish, and the plate where you could get fish was kept off the table

 

[OraleeWey]

I'm not vegan but if I was, I probably would want to avoid being near or around meat to not get tempted.

It's the same thing if you're trying to lose weight, which is what I'm doing so I try to avoid being around food.

 

[Hooligan69]

So, I just had a family dinner. My sister and her husband are vegans. The food was delicious oven-baked cod and there were was a vegan alternative for my sister and her husband.

He declared that he would not be able to sit at the same table where dead fish was being consumed and left to eat outside, followed by my sister.

How would you react to this? Would it even be possible to go through life like this? Like, how would you deal with representation dinners as work? Should we as family enable such behaviour? In the real world, such silly behaviour is not acceptable. Your ability to socialize with anyone who is not a vegan would be non-existent.

Sorry, I'm rambling (and a bit upset) and can't really put together a coherent argument. Discuss.

I'd tell him, "grab a box of tissues on your way out then. I prepared a vegan meal for you, which I didn't have to do, but did as a sign or love and respect. Acting as you did was disrespectful at the very least."

 

[Orbis]

I mean, I can understand his mindset. If you were at a dinner table and everyone was eating people, though they've specially prepared you some chicken, I doubt anyone here would want to stay at that table even if they made the effort.

He's an adult male, so he's lived plenty long enough in a society where eating meat (specifically fish) is completely normal. That's not remotely comparable to someone serving up fried human for example, which is very much not acceptable in society. Worse still the family has provided an alternative meal specifically for vegans. The reaction is nothing short of incredibly rude.

Luckily I've never met a militant vegan/vegetarian so I can only assume an tiny minority would behave in that way.

I'm not vegan but if I was, I probably would want to avoid being near or around meat to not get tempted.

It's the same thing if you're trying to lose weight, which is what I'm doing so I try to avoid being around food.

See I don't think there's much wrong with wanting to not be near meat if you're a vegan, that seems natural, but actually announcing you don't want to be near it and leaving a family meal is pretty awful.

 

[TheCochese]

Sounds like your sister caught her quite the catch and release.

Fixed.

 

[GrooveCommand]

Funny, you would think that would come up in conversation with his wife BEFORE THEY WENT TO DINNER.

Yes, maybe the execution wasn't that great and he should have said something before. My point is that this is more so an issue of etiquette, rather than having anything to do with his personal choice of being a vegan. The vitriol people have against vegans is egregious.

 

[stilgar]

Sure looks like a fun guy to have a party with.

 

[Beer Monkey]

I honestly see nothing wrong with this? Was he rude about it when he left or polite? If he politely got up and left, what is the problem? Respect his dedication.

The act itself was rude. They should have simply declined the dinner invitation if they didn't want to witness the eating of fish.

 

[Adaren]

My 2c: a lot of people in this thread need to calm down. People are weird. People are impolite. You can deal with it by talking to them, making compromises, or blocking them out. I realize that hypermasculine machoism is alive and well, but there's no reason to consider punching anyone over something like this.

I would beat the shit out of anyone that insulted my retired mom's cooking after she slaves in front of a hot stove making alternatives for ingrates.

Since he's family that bitch deserves a fuckin smack and an apology for that kind of behavior.

She been through too much to get shade from a dipshit.
Edit: Vegans are not dipshits. What your bro in law did, is reminiscent of dipshit behavior however.

He didn't insult it. He ate it.

 

[Socivol]

Your sister and her husband are disrespectful. My in-laws have some rules that I find odd (such as my husband and I not being able to sleep in the same bed lol) but I would never act like their rules or regulations are ridiculous in their house. I really wouldn't when I already know what they are. Did they think everyone would be eating a vegan meal or something?

 

[Kevin]

I would just completely ignore them and continue with my meal.

If they came in and started complaining at you then I would just stare at them blankly while continuing to eat my meal and continuing to ignore them.

 

[SocksAndShoes]

How comfortable would people in this thread feel sitting at a table where a dead dog is being consumed?

Am I visiting an area where dog is commonly consumed? Then I'd be prepared and would respond accordingly. I certainly wouldn't leave the table and pout like a child.

 

[Chainsawkitten]

I fail to see the issue and I don't understand people's reaction in this thread at all. He went out. Problem solved.

 

[Ralemont]

When me and my wife go to dinner somewhere, we're always served "the other" dish. We don't say anything, but it feels very disrespectful. Why not serve something everyone can eat? It's not like only vegans can eat vegan food. We're always treated differently, and it kinda sucks.

You're treated differently because you made a niche choice that requires you to be treated differently. That doesn't mean everyone else needs to follow your niche choices in your presence.

Disrespectful would be serving only meat/fish and laughing at you if you asked for something else. Preparing an entirely separate meal to accomodate someone is the opposite of disrespectful.

 

[Surfinn]

I'm not vegan but if I was, I probably would want to avoid being near or around meat to not get tempted.

It's the same thing if you're trying to lose weight, which is what I'm doing so I try to avoid being around food.

Everybody is different, but I craved cheese and never meat. When I smell meat cooking I do like it, but never actually crave eating it. There's way too much good vegetarian food for me to care

 

[Gotdatmoney]

You do you, ignore it. Prob just dont invite to dinner from now on is all.

 

[Pinkuss]

Yes, maybe the execution wasn't that great and he should have said something before. My point is that this is more so an issue of etiquette, rather than having anything to do with his personal choice of being a vegan. The vitriol people have against vegans is egregious.

Sadly these always turn into that on here (and social media in general), despite often many of us coming in and saying we'd in no way do that despite not agreeing.

Papa Johns advertised a Vegan pizza tonight for example and suddenly everyone was on the attack... We're preachy apparently but I see a hell of a lot more of it the other way (as a Vegan and one who won't rant or care about those that have no interest in it thinks).

 

[norm9]

Throw a fish at his face.

 

[BlueTsunami]

I fail to see the issue and I don't understand people's reaction in this thread at all. He went out. Problem solved.

He disrespected the hosts. That's a problem.

 

[GrooveCommand]

Yes, absolutely. Don't try to normalize shitty behavior.

Not wanting to watch people eat dead animals is not "shitty behavior". Now if he was overly-dramatic about it or he has some secret agenda to guilt-trip non-vegans, then yes that would be shitty behavior. But let's not get those two things mixed up.

 

[Ramirez]

Fixed.

Touché.

 

[QuantumBro]

You eat what you want to eat. Other people eat what they want to eat. Deal with it. Not everybody has to eat how you eat because you're there. If I go to a vegan's house for dinner I kind of expect vegan food and wouldn't huff and puff about the lack of a "non vegan option". But you're suggesting that non-vegans shouldn't serve anybody meat if a vegan is present? That's ridiculous.

Wow, don't you understand how disrespectful it is for the hosts to spend time preparing a meal that meets their non-medical dietary restrictions instead of telling them to suck it up?

Ouch.

When I said I can't make a coherent argument, I didn't mean make an argument against him to use in this situation. I meant it mostly as a a pre-emptive apology for a poorly put together OP

Just laugh at the mad man.

 

[Draft]

Explain to him that fish feel no pain and do not understand the concept of mortality.

 

[waxer]

How comfortable would people in this thread feel sitting at a table where a dead dog is being consumed?

Been there done that.
I was fine with a plate of dog. Being served at a restaurant. Didn't eat myself as no one else was game or we're against eating and the servings are big. Had donkey and moth? crisylis instead.

There is nothing wrong with not liking animal but it's on the sister to inform him of what to expect at her parents beforehand. Also depending how childish he acted he could just be a a bit better than thou.
But that's his mental condition. Should feel sorry for him if anything rather than mad. Sucks to go through life thinking so little of yourself that you have to try bringing others down. Also There are plenty of polite ways to excuse yourself from dinner.

 

[Chainsawkitten]

He disrespected the hosts. That's a problem.

I don't see how he did.

 

[Beer Monkey]

He disrespected the hosts. That's a problem.

After the hosts were beyond gracious by providing a vegan entree.

My vegan friends and family don't even expect anyone to do that when they are invited to dinner. They'll just eat the sides and salad and skip the entree. Of course they are nice people and not giant pricks.

 

[norm9]

Not wanting to watch people eat dead animals is not "shitty behavior". Now if he was overly-dramatic about it or he has some secret agenda to guilt-trip non-vegans, then yes that would be shitty behavior. But let's not get those two things mixed up.

Guy needs to grow the fuck up if fish on the table in his field of vision is troubling.

 

[Trojita]

He doesn't want little malnourished nieces and nephews though.

ftfy kek