I was in a Walgreens or something a while back. Picked up some condoms, stood in line waiting to buy them. After a while, a family with a couple of younger kids gets in line behind me. I try to nonchalantly hold the condoms in front of me so the kids won't see, and keep waiting. After a while, an eagle-eyed employee far away spots me, and with this stern voice says, "SIR? Are those ... "cosmetics" you're buying? Come over here, I'll open up this register for you." And kinda shakes her head, like I'm an asshole for having the audacity to keep standing in line when there were kids around.
Also, we're quickly approaching max Frasier in this thread.