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Woman attempted to urinate on $30 million abstract painting.

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I don't much care for abstracts myself, but...

Story here

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A 36-year-old Denver woman, apparently drunk, leaned against an iconic Clyfford Still painting worth more than $30 million last week, punched it, slid down it and urinated on herself, according to a criminal case against Carmen Lucette Tisch.

"It doesn't appear she urinated on the painting or that the urine damaged it, so she's not being charged with that," said Lynn Kimbrough, a spokeswoman for the Denver District Attorney's Office, said Wednesday.

"You have to wonder where her friends were."

Tisch is being charged with criminal mischief in the incident that happened at the Clyfford Still Museum at 3:30 p.m. on Dec. 29.

Damage to the painting — "1957-J-No. 2." — is estimated at $10,000.

The painting, which is nearly 9 1/2 feet tall and 13 feet wide, is estimated between $30 million and $40 million by the museum.

Tisch allegedly committed the offense with her pants pulled down, according to the police report, and struck the painting repeatedly with her fist.

The officer stated that scratches and other damage to the painting were visible.

A museum spokeswoman declined to describe the damage to painting or answer questions about who would pay the cost for repairs, deferring to the police investigation and museum policy.

The museum released a statement:

"On December 29, 2011, an incident of criminal mischief took place at the Clyfford Still Museum. The police were summoned and the offender was arrested and is currently in police custody. Museum officials are cooperating with the authorities regarding the situation and are in the process of further assessing the incident."

Ivar Zeile, owner of Plus Gallery in Denver, said that if the painting's canvas wasn't pierced, it likely can be restored.

Whether the damage affects the painting's value, however, depends on several factors, including whether it remains a museum piece or goes on the market. Sometimes such damage becomes part of piece's history, he said.

"It does damage the piece, though, even people just knowing that happened," he said.

And here come the lousy piss-related puns.
 

Haly

One day I realized that sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
If the artist of the painting had pissed on it, it would've been worth $60 million.
 
So why is it that when I spill 3 or 4 buckets of paint onto canvas it's worth $0 and this prick's piece of shit is worth more than I will ever make in my lifetime?
 

Satch

Banned
this thread is going to turn into an art debate

but man, 30 million dollars

i wonder what the artist was thinking as he painted it
 

DJ_Lae

Member
Almost looks like she managed to piss on the right side of the painting, but I guess that's original.
 
she has beaten by so many. how passe. my fav is the guy in the 80s (?) who used ink shot from his asshole to coat canvas. good times.

and yes art value is inflated due to the collector market. news at 11.
 

Smellycat

Member
OMG Please tell me this is true and not a joke. It is from the related links in the article:

Dear Amy: I am a 40-year-old divorced father of 14-year-old twin sons.
Recently, a new neighbor moved in next door. She is a very nice, charming and easy to get along with 30-year-old single woman whom I'll call "Martha." A problem has arisen, and I need some advice. On weekend afternoons when my sons play baseball in our back yard, Martha sunbathes topless in her back yard (always while lying on her stomach, as far as I know).
The tall wooden fence between our yards provides her some privacy. However, when the boys hit a foul ball into her yard, she allows one of them to come over to retrieve it.
Even though the fence is tall enough to prevent the boys from peering in at her, and even though she stays lying on her stomach whenever she is topless, the boys seem to hit more than their fair share of foul balls over the fence. This past weekend while they were retrieving a ball from her yard, Martha allowed one of the boys to apply sunscreen lotion on her back.
I found her behavior inappropriate, because my boys are at the age when they notice girls, and because she doesn't always keep her arms tightly at her side when sunbathing.
When I spoke to her about this, Martha said that it isn't a big deal and that the boys are perfect gentlemen.
Now what do I do? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Should I prohibit my sons from backyard baseball and make them go to the playground field a few blocks away?
- Concerned Dad in Pa.

Dear Concerned: The lotion spreading is not good at all.
If your sons were daughters, and if your neighbor was a 30-year-old man, you would see this behavior as worse than inappropriate. You might see it as predatory. Of course "Martha" doesn't think this is a big deal. But she is in no position to judge.
Your sons should not have any physical contact with your neighbor.
As their dad, you should make this extremely clear to all parties, and then you should be vigilant to make sure that their contact remains nothing more than a neighborly "howdy" over the back fence.


hahaha
 

Raxus

Member
It's stories like these that makes me wonder if I could just toss a few paint cans on a canvas and sell the results for good money.
 

SolKane

Member
this thread is going to turn into an art debate

but man, 30 million dollars

i wonder what the artist was thinking as he painted it

It's not like he was making that kind of money when he created the work, so the thought of its value probably didn't occur to him. Don't forget that van Gogh only sold a single painting during his lifetime.
 

Satch

Banned
It's not like he was making that kind of money when he created the work, so the thought of its value probably didn't occur to him. Don't forget that van Gogh only sold a single painting during his lifetime.

yes i know but i want to know what was going through his head as he was painting it

edit: i want to know if it was like in that episode of spongebob when he knew how to make a perfect circle from drawing a realistic head and erasing all the detail
 
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