Maybe.
Cyan's in the US, so it's a yes from him. I'm from the UK, so it's a no from me. [Saturday morning.]
So why maybe?
You're not from down under are you?
Maybe.
Cyan's in the US, so it's a yes from him. I'm from the UK, so it's a no from me. [Saturday morning.]
So why maybe?
You're not from down under are you?
I just get a kick out of being contrarian.
I know the feeling, ronito, but seriously, you can write whatever and I won't be disappoint.
P.S. Assuming you're still in the neighborhood, we should hang out with Tangent sometime soon!
And also advice on how to use correct punctuation to state internal thoughts that are in the form of questions.
"What did I just ask?" thought Ashok.
Ashok wondered what exactly he had just asked.
Oh feck, I just woke up and the deadline is fast approaching - any chance I could get a couple of hours to finish?
Still (2000 words)
I don't think the password took. I've never protected a file before. If it did, it's the number of the challenge. If it didn't, well, I'll try again next time.
I'll check it next time. Thanks, Cyan!
Mike, I have no idea what your usual password is.
Oh feck, I just woke up and the deadline is fast approaching - any chance I could get a couple of hours to finish?
blighted candle.
Sorry if it has been asked, but what is the go with the --- for dialogue? Haven't seen that before.
I don't think toddhunter means em dash itself but using three hyphens --- for an em dash .
I don't understand. --- is em dash as well as .
Well, that's the first I've ever heard of it.
Well, my knowledge of punctuation isn't exactly stellar, so me not hearing about it doesn't have to mean a thing. I use em dashes incorrectly myself (I use them as if they were en dashes).Well, don't take my word for it. I've got no sources. I've been humbled many times before, and I don't think that is going to stop any time soon.
I don't think toddhunter means em dash itself but using three hyphens --- for an em dash .
--- You mustn't think like that.
--- Like what?
--- So negatively like that
As soon as the sun dropped, the first thing I noticed was how absolute the darkness was. I was driving hard down an empty road, long and ruler-straight that ran right through a sprawling coniferous forest. I was so used to the neon haze of the city, the flickering street lamps, gaudy shop signs and constant procession of vehicles, even in the dead of night, whereas out here, sight extended no further than the twin beams of light spreading out before me and it had been hours since I had last passed anybody on this seemingly endless stretch of asphalt. The silence was starting to get to me.
I phoned the Deputy Sheriff of the shit-hole I was headed to, just to break the monotony. Duggan was his name. He had been disarmingly helpful. Normally, local law enforcement falls into one of two categories. Pig ignorant or surly and mean, plus, you can be sure that neither type wants you poking your nose about their town.
"Yeah, I seen her 'bout a week back." he said. "Hangin' round with Ricky Finn and his lads."
I was surprised he knew her just from the description, but he said it was a small place. Not a lot went on out there without somebody noticing. He said he'd have Ricky's file waiting for me in my motel room, which he'd already taken the liberty of booking me into.
"That a normal duty of the Sheriff's Department?" I asked.
"Naw, but my Ma' owns the motel. Like I said, small place. There prob'ly won't be anyone up at the front desk by the time you get here, so just head on in. Room 3, she said she'll leave the door unlocked."
I thanked him for his help, he made me promise to buy him a beer and that was that. Back to the road and the darkness and the endless parade of trees. I glanced once more at the picture of the girl, Katie Sellers. It was a family photograph from Universal Studios. All smiles, except for her too-cool-for-school grimace. She had the look of someone who thought the world owed her something. I'd seen her type before. Her parents were sick with worry, but had found the police response to be entirely lacking. That's about where I joined in the story, shepherd looking for a lost little lamb, only the shepherd's got a gun and a drinking habit, while maybe the lamb ain't so much lost as she is running.
Later, as the trees began to thin and signs of human habitation started to appear, the town of Scalton loomed blessedly out of the darkness. It wasn't much of a sight by night, but I guessed it wouldn't look much better by day. The motel was easy enough to find, this was a real 'one road' sort of town. It was well after midnight and, as predicted, everyone was asleep, so I headed to room 3 and slumped onto the bed, falling at once into a black sleep. I dreamt of Sarah and of the dinner we were supposed to have with her parents last night, as it was her father's birthday. Waking up in the dingy motel room, it took me a good few minutes to realise where I was and why my wife wasn't beside me.
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I spent most of the day wandering the town, getting a feel for the place. Other than the main road in an out, a couple of relatively new housing estates and the farms and logging camps littered around the outlying countryside, there wasn't a whole lot to Scalton. The main point of attraction seemed to be the bar at the centre of town, Carrington's. I grabbed a beer and a steak, but the place was pretty empty at this hour, so I headed over to the sheriff's office to make myself known. Even if the law ain't gonna give you a lick of help, it's always wise to let them know you're operating on their turf.
After reading the none-too-slim file on Ricky Finn, I'd got a pretty good picture of the stuff he was involved with. It was all mostly petty shit, vandalism, common assault, a few instances of shoplifting, but no charges were ever pressed. There were, however, a couple of more serious incidents. Finn had been arrested for arson and involuntary manslaughter, but was never charged. Two associates of his were doing long stints in prison for the crime and I wondered if Duggan could get me on the phone with one of them.
"That'd be pretty difficult." he said apprehensively. "One's dead. Hung himself. The other? He's in the psych ward, permanently doped up to the gills just to stop him from tearing at himself."
"Either of them have any family, any friends?" I asked hopefully.
"Yeah, Morgan. The one that's dead. His Ma' lives on an old ranch about two miles out of town. I'll drive you out there, if you're thinking of talking to her?"
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"I told you, that Finn ain't right. And now my boy's dead." the old woman spat, as she dug savagely with her trowel at the hard, cracked soil.
"What are you suggesting Mrs Morgan?" I asked.
"He knows." she said, with a venomous glance towards Deputy Duggan. "Ricky Finn is in league with the devil."
"Now, Maggie..." Duggan began, only to be cut off as the old woman got to her feet and rounded on them.
"You should know better, Frank. But him? He ain't from round here. He's got to be told."
"Told what, Mrs Morgan?" I asked.
"Told to stay the hell away. Ricky Finn is a possessor of souls. He'll get all up inside of your head, make you see things his way, make you do things you wouldn't have done. He's a monster, a gods damned monster!" she yelled, with tears in her eyes and a dread conviction. I had seen a misty-eyed sort of detachment in her gaze at first, but now there was nothing more than a burning intensity that set the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end.
"So, what next?" Duggan asked as we drove back into town. "You wanna try and go find Ricky? He and his boys should be headed to Carrington's in an hour or so."
"Yeah, but I think I'll need to go solo on this one. I don't want Ricky to immediately make me. Let him think I'm just some businessman passing through town."
"Fair enough" Duggan replied, "I'll be in there anyway later this evening. You just holler if you need a hand."
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I stepped into the place just as dusk was settling over Scalton. I nodded to the owner, who I'd met earlier in the day, Thomas was his name, before taking a seat at the bar. I ordered some wings and a beer and settled in. Before long the bar started to fill up. It was a nice scene. Carrington's was the only place in town to get a hot meal and a drink, so it seemed as if half of Scalton turned up. Soon the place was roaring and I found myself drawn into conversation with the locals. Can't say if they believed my story of being a suit from the city out north to handle logging permits, but it seemed dull enough to be true.
Ricky wasn't easy to miss. Sitting in a booth at the far corner with a raucous group of friends, a dumb grin plastered over his face. I could tell people didn't like him, just from the sideways glances they shot in his direction and the sharp eye Thomas kept on the group. No one said anything though and, as the night wore on and the drinks flowed, the spirit began to turn sour. The crowd had thinned out, less families, less diners, the tail end of the evening reserved for party animals and seasoned drinkers alone. I ordered another Old Fashioned and leaned back on the bar, looking again to the booth in the far corner. Ricky's eye caught mine and he made his way over.
"Two shots of Crow, Tom." he ordered, turning to stare at me as Thomas poured the drinks. "Can't say I seen you before." he said, sliding one of the shots over to me.
"I'm looking for someone." I said, before necking the shot.
"Oh yeah? I heard you were some 'suit from the city', ain't that right?" he said, that mean grin returning once more. "You've got the stink of pig about you."
"I ain't no cop."
"But you out here, pokin' around, asking questions. Sounds like a cop to me."
"Let's just say I'm concerned party." I replied, returning to my Old Fashioned. "You seen this girl?" I placed the photograph of her on the bar, pointing her out in the picture.
"Sure did. She rolled through about a month back." It was such a matter of fact statement I could've almost believed he was telling the truth. "Sad girl."
"Why d'you say that?" I asked.
"Seemed like she had her fair share of troubles, is all."
"Know anybody who might've added to those troubles, Ricky?"
"Oh, man." he said with a laugh. "You couldn't sound more like a cop if you tried. What's the matter anyway, she missing?"
"Maybe, but I'd like to know where she was last seen, where she might've been headed..."
"All I know is we talked, had a few drinks and then I walked her to her car and she left. Seemed pretty upset about something, but I don't know what." He lapsed into silence, before downing his unattended shot. I thought about ordering another, but I was already pretty drunk. Sarah would say that I'd had enough. He was looking at me and there was that grin again.
"Well, I sure do hope you find her, mister. Such a pretty girl. She should be in the city, with all the light and the noise, not out here in the darkness." He ordered a couple more shots of Crow.
"Here, friend. One more for the road. Keep the darkness at bay." he said with a laugh, sliding the shot over to me.
I was about to slide it back, but then felt myself pouring the drink down my throat before lurching awkwardly to my feet. God, I hadn't got this drunk in an age. What would Sarah think? I went to pay off my tab, but found that I'd left my wallet back at the motel. Thomas had no problem taking an IOU and made sure I wasn't driving before letting me leave. Ricky had already left and the place was now near empty, but I hadn't noticed. Walking outside, it took a second to remember which way to the motel. It had been a pretty fruitless evening. Ricky was a shit, no doubt, but I was no closer to finding Katie.
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The dream was as real as they come. I'd dreamt the Saturday I would've spent with Sarah, had things been different. We'd gone shopping, done chores and headed out to a restaurant. I often found that the most mundane dreams held the most substance. As such, it was with a fair bit of confusion I awoke, before the hangover well and truly set in. I pawed around for a bottle near the bed, but there was none to be found, so I wandered over to the lobby to get some coffee. Deputy Duggan was just arriving and he rushed on over.
"We found the girl's car." he said abruptly. "Although I don't think you're gonna like it."
He was right. The car was a wreck and of the girl there was no sign. It'd somehow made it near a hundred feet past the treeline, bark sheared from the trunks as it passed, at what must have been some considerable speed. There were no tire marks on the road and only the torn up verge and barkless trunks showed sign of the car's progress. None of the heavy moving equipment could reach this deep in, so a fire crew were using Jaws of Life to sheer the wreck into more manageable pieces, before a forensic team carried them free.
Suddenly, there was a cry of shock and revulsion as a fireman dropped his tool and stumbled hastily backwards. The pneumatic jaws had peeled away the trunk door from the crumpled frame of the car and, contained within, were the crumpled remains of the girl. Her face, or what remained of it, starred out grotesquely, blood spilling free to patter steadily upon the carpet of fallen leaves. I felt a familiar, helpless anguish well up inside of me and fought to contain a wave of nausea.
Deputy Duggan was wild-eyed and pale. He walked over and haltingly explained that I'd have to leave, what with this just becoming a murder investigation. We agreed to meet up at Carrington's later and I suddenly remembered my wallet and the conversation I'd had with Ricky last night. I mentioned to Duggan that Ricky might have been the last person in town to see her alive and he said they'd put out an APB. I hurried away back to the motel, eager to put as much distance between me and Katie's corpse as possible. Searching the small motel room, my wallet was nowhere to be found. It hadn't been handed in at the lobby, or in the Sheriff's Department, so I headed to Carrington's to see if Tom had found it anywhere. The place was deserted, but when I called Tom appeared from out back. I asked about my wallet.
"Funnily enough, Ricky came in this morning and said he'd found it out on the street." he replied, suddenly having my full attention. "He paid off your tab with the money inside and then said if you want the rest, you should come get it."
"Yeah? Where's he likely to be at this hour?"
"On a Sunday? Probably shooting cans with his boys down by the old gold mine. Follow the track up into the hills from the Morgan ranch, you can't miss it."
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The sun was out in full force as I made my way up the track, but soon the trees thickened and I was in the blessed cool of their shade. I could hear nothing but birdsong and the constant chirp of cicadas, providing a soundtrack to what, under different circumstances, would've been a pleasant walk. As it was, my mind was darkened with thoughts of poor Katie. Shit, her parents were going to be devastated. The path grew steeper and I found myself panting for breath as, at last, I rounded a corner and came upon the entrance to the mine. There was Ricky, sitting on a crate of beer with a bottle in hand.
"How's it goin’...'Dean Markham'" Ricky said, reading my name from my wallet. "Slipped this from out of your back pocket last night."
"Thought you told Thomas you found it on the street?"
"Yeah, guess that makes me a liar. But what about you? I knew you had the stink of pig about you."
"I told you, I ain't no cop."
"No, not any more you ain't. Still a pig at heart, though. Mr. P.I, private dick." he spat. "Don't like questions, but since you've been asking so nicely, maybe I do got some answers for you."
"Like what, Ricky."
"Well first, that girl killed herself. Stuck herself in the neck with a switchblade, before someone stuck her in that car."
"How the fuck do you know that?" I said, snarling.
"Because I was watching, Dean. Shit, she was halfway there already. All I had to do was give her a look, tipped her over the edge. Just like I did to Morgan when he was threatening to talk."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Why? Because it don't fuckin' matter, that's why. They might say I was with the girl, but there's no proof of nothing. Just like there's no proof I burned down that house. But, let me tell you Dean, I told that girl to kill herself, just like I told Morgan to burn that fuckin' house down."
"And what about me?"
"What about you, Dean? You don't fuckin' matter. Not to me, not to nobody. Certainly not to your dead whore of a wife. Sarah was her name, wasn't it?"
"Don't you mention her again, Ricky. I'm warning you."
"Or what, you'll shoot me, Dean? Just like she shot herself? Pretty little housewife, all alone, while her hero cop of a husband's out saving lives." At that I drew my gun.
"You're coming with me. Let's go." I said, choking back an involuntary cry of grief.
"Oh, I don't think so, Dean. You ain't going nowhere." Ricky said, fixing me with a cold, disarming stare. "What would Sarah think, to see you now? Washed up, on your knees." I slumped to my knees. "Gun poised, mouth open, ready to pull that trigger." I raised my gun and placed the barrel in my open mouth. "What are you waiting for, Dean?" Ricky spat. "What're you fuckin' waiting for? Can't you see her, pretty little Sarah? Poor, troubled Sarah. She wants to see you, Dean. Just end it and you can be together again. Just end it."
I moaned as tears began to stream down my face, as I felt my finger involuntarily close around the trigger and begin to apply pressure. I thought of Sarah once more and my resolve broke. A gunshot sounded out in forest, echoing as birds took flight, and I fell at last, hard to the floor.
"You OK?" Deputy Duggan asked as he helped me to my feet. I looked up and saw the corpse of Ricky before me, his temple blasted open and a gun in his hand, reminding my to holster my own weapon.
"Nice shot."
"Thanks, he’d left me no choice."
Chose the form of your destroyer:
ElectricBlanketFire: Dating Tips For The Nervous Nelly
ronito: Cursor
toddhunter: The Rising Saga
kaepernickehs: Performance Anxiety -- Anxious Performance
Chainsawkitten: My Vulvic Nest
mu cephi: Upside Downside
multivac: The Butcher of Stormeer
Aaron: Sodom's Secret
Tangent: Inevitable Questions
Cyan: By the Book
hey_monkey: Still
Mike M: The Process
Nezumi: The Fox and the Kettle
Ashes1396: blighted candle
Bootaaay: No Choice in the Matter
You forgot me, Mike!
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=73101011&postcount=106
It's Friday somewhere right? Had every intention of posting this last night (after editing).
Neon Nights Look Larger As Approached
Reading, reading, reading....