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[Mike M]

Theme - "Performance Anxiety"

Word Limit: 3000

Submission Deadline: Friday, 26th July, by 11:59 PM Pacific.

Voting begins Saturday, 27th July, and goes until Monday, 29th July at 11:59 PM Pacific.

Optional Secondary Objective: Uncomfortably Personal

I'd give examples, but all I can think of is a hypothetical story about a trip to the urologist's office. Yeeeeah... Maybe don't do that one.

Submission Guidelines:

- One entry per poster.
- All submissions must be written during the time of the challenge.
- Using the topic as the title of your piece is discouraged.
- Keep to the word count!

Voting Guidelines:

- Three votes per voter. Please denote in your voting your 1st (3 pts), 2nd (2 pts), and 3rd (1 pt) place votes.
- Please read all submissions before voting.
- You must vote in order to be eligible to win the challenge.
- When voting ends, the winner gets a collective pat on the back, and starts the new challenge.

NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge FAQ
Previous Challenge Threads and Themes

---

Entries:

ElectricBlanketFire: Dating Tips For The Nervous Nelly
ronito: Cursor
toddhunter: The Rising Saga
kaepernickehs: Performance Anxiety -- Anxious Performance
SquiddyCracker: First day
Chainsawkitten: My Vulvic Nest
mu cephi: Upside Downside
multivac: The Butcher of Stormeer
Aaron: Sodom's Secret
Tangent: Inevitable Questions
Cyan: By the Book
hey_monkey: Still
Mike M: The Process
Nezumi: The Fox and the Kettle
Ashes1396: blighted candle
Bootaaay: No Choice in the Matter
Ward: Neon Nights Look Larger As Approached

 

[Nezumi]

That's a really specific theme especially when combined with the secondary. But it might lead to some really funny stories.
Anyway, I'm really looking forward to participating again.

 

[GRW810]

Performance anxiety? Uncomfortably personal?

I predict a dozen stories about erectile dysfunction.

 

[Mike M]

I'm reasonably confident in the end we will have a good selection of stories that managed to get their mind out of the gutter : )

Or maybe this will be a cautionary tale that deprives me of victory until we get a fresh batch of participants who don't know about it.

 

[irriadin]

Well, that's certainly an interesting theme...

 

[kehs]

I'm gonna do a half story narration about how I never finish my stories for these challenges because I tend to dive a little too deeply into my own personal experiences.

 

[ElectricBlanketFire]

Dating Tips For The Nervous Nelly (524 Words)

Recently, I married a woman. She not only has her own pair of snowpants, but a body that says, "I use salad dressing modestly...if at all."

So how did I do it? How can your average man/pre-teen land the girl of his dreams? I understand if you start getting all sweaty in the shirt when attempting to approach a gal. But it's easy. Seriously. I asked a waiter the other day how easy it is and he said, "Why don't you take a look at the dessert menu" and pointed to a post-it note where he wrote "very easy." Then he kept his hand on my shoulder for the rest of his shift.

Don’t believe me? Think it’s impossible to impress a girl when you’re a bundle of gas caused by a pair of ill-fitting corduroy pants you're still wearing from high school?

There are three tips that will turn your love life into a series of merit badges:

#1: Have Lots Of Money

By the by, I'm extremely wealthy. To give you some idea of just how much cash/rookie cards I have, my airplane is powered by four hot air balloons scotch taped to the wings. Today I ran into my dad and shook his hand while holding a $500 dollar bill inside of an envelope made of $20 dollar bills. My dad took the package and bought himself a bag of charcoal...and a jacket with the words "Chest Me Out" written across the chest. Girls like money is what I'm trying to say in this section.

#2: Have Lots Of Looks

You need to look like a guy that can do the Charleston when needed. Now, you may be thinking, "Mustache, top hat, monocle." That's only part of the equation. You also need the "gentleman's grooming kit" that your grandma got you for Christmas when you were 8, 9, and 11. This is how your grandpa got your grandma, and in those days, men wore suits just to go to the mailbox. Their Facebook status would read "Grandpa is using a socket wrench" 24/7.

#3: Have Lots Of Talent

This could be anything, but knowing your way around the billiard table is a good start. Here's an easy trick shot that impresses the whole ballroom: Announce to the crowd, "Hey everyone check this out." And while everyone is looking at you, have a friend sneak the pool balls into everyone's pockets. Then, when someone asks what the holdup is, say, "8-ball, corner pocket" and point to the corner of the room. The guy with the ball in his pocket will hold it up and everyone will say, "Here here!" while applauding. Take this opportunity to look at the girl you're interested in and yell, "See?! I told you!!!" while pointing at her to the rhythm of whatever song happens to be playing. If you're smart, you will have already requested "Put Me In Coach."

BONUS TIP!!!

While on a date, casually ask, "You know what I like?" but don't say what you like. Instead, just say, "Hmmmmmmmmm?" louder and louder in an increasingly higher key until about 9:00 p.m. Then ask if you can go to Best Buy.

She'll know what to do.

 

[Mike M]

Fastest entry ever.

 

[B-Dubs]

I've actually got a pretty good idea for this. I can't quite figure out how to fit in the second one though.

 

[Mike M]

Well, it is optional...

 

[Cyan]

Well, it is optional...

Yeah... I think I'm gonna skip it this time. Maybe go with comfortably impersonal instead.

Cool theme. Time to start thinkalizing!

Edit:
Ran out of characters in the old "Previous Threads and Themes" post, so starting a new one below. Feel free to ignore.

 

[Cyan]

Previous Challenge Threads and Themes, #101-200
Previous Challenge Threads and Themes, #201-

Previous Themes (and Winners):
#1 - "The Things Unseen" (beelzebozo)
#2 - "An Unlikely Pair" (Aaron)
#3 - "weightless, breathless" (Azih)
#4 - "On the way" (DumbNameD)
#5 - "The End" (Cyan)
#6 - "Playing with Fire" (Aaron)
#7 - "Something Brutal" (ronito)
#8 - "Parasite and Host" (Aaron)
#9 - "The Seasons" (ivysaur12)
#10 - "Anniversary" (Memles)
#11 - "Comedy" (Scribble)
#12 - "The Trilogy" (Aaron)
#13 - "Impossible Thing" (Cyan)
#14 - "Lost and Found" (Iceman)
#15 - "Prescient" (Iceman)
#16 - "Trick or Treat" (DumbNameD)
#17 - "Countdown" (DumbNameD)
#18 - "Masquerade" (nitewulf)
#19 - "The Grey Area" (DumbNameD)
#20 - "Score" (Timedog)
#21 - "Foreign" (Aaron)
#22 - "Shell" (Cyan)
#23 - "Night" (DumbNameD)
#24 - "Madness" (Cyan)
#25 - "Echo" (DumbNameD)
#26 - "In a Flash" (ronito)
#27 - "Fanfiction" (Cyan)
#28 - "Ill Wind" (DumbNameD)
#29 - "Late" (Cyan)
#30 - "Traitor" (Aaron)
#31 - "Memory" (kozmo7)
#32 - "Bauble" (Spoo)
#33 - "Redemption" (Cyan)
#34 - "The Silver Lining" (ronito)
#35 - "Deception" (Aaron)
#36 - "Bloody Murder" (ronito)
#37 - "Truth" (Botolf)
#38 - "Debt and Gift" (ZephyrFate)
#39 - "Homage" (bakemono)
#40 - "Chivalry" (Tim the Wiz)
#41 - "Projection" (Cyan)
#42 - "A Chance Encounter" (bengraven)
#43 - "In the Dark" (Aaron)
#44 - "Five Years" (Aaron)
#45 - "Stormy Weather" (Cyan)
#46 - "Fool's Errand" (Cyan)
#47 - "Decision" (Aaron)
#48 - "Wandering" (Ashes1396)
#49 - "Being Human" (DumbNameD)
#50 - "The Things Unseen" (hey_monkey)
#51 - "Separate (but equal)" (Cyan)
#52 - "Tested" (Mike Works)
#53 - "Love and Technology" (Aaron)
#54 - "Creeping Dread" (DumbNameD)
#55 - "Obscure" (ZephyrFate)
#56 - "Chaos" (Cyan)
#57 - "Time" (Aaron)
#58 - "The Scar" (crowphoenix)
#59 - "Dream" (Timedog)
#60 - "Brevity" (Hyams)
#61 - "As Cold as Ice" (Ashes1396)
#62 - "Colours" (DumbNameD)
#63 - "The Return" (DumbNameD)
#64 - "Into the Unknown" (ZephyrFate)
#65 - "Rock and a Hard Place" (ronito)
#66 - "This NeoGAFian Life" (Cyan)
#67 - "The Beginning" (bengraven)
#68 - "Unrequited" (John Dunbar)
#69 - "Tabula Rasa" (John Dunbar)
#70 - "Horror" (DumbNameD)
#71 - "Far Off" (crowphoenix)
#72 - "Carry On" (Tim the Wiz)
#73 - "Funk" (Dresden)
#74 - "Abuse" (Tangent)
#75 - "Insignificance" (John Dunbar)
#76 - "Remembrance of Things Past" (crowphoenix)
#77 - "The Masks We Wear" (Tim the Wiz)
#78 - "New World" (Tim the Wiz)
#79 - "Detective Story" (Tangent)
#80 - "Devil's In the Details" (John Dunbar)
#81 - "Conspiracy" (Cyan)
#82 - "Courage" (John Dunbar)
#83 - "Crime and Punishment" (Bootaaay)
#84 - "All That Glitters..." (DumbNameD)
#85 - "Lurking" (John Dunbar)
#86 - "Human Interest" (Cyan)
#87 - "Balance" (Cyan)
#88 - "Rough Luck" (Alfarif)
#89 - "Life in Comics" (Tim the Wiz)
#90 - "The Coming Tide" (Cyan)
#91 - "Unbound" (Ashes1396)
#92 - "Rejection" (Bootaaay)
#93 - "Derelict" (q_q)
#94 - "Confrontation" (Cyan)
#95 - "Aftermath" (Cyan)
#96 - "Might Have Been" (Tangent)
#97 - "The Other Side of the Fence" (Bootaaay)
#98 - "Left Behind" (Jedeye Sniv)
#99 - "History" (Tangent)
#100 - "The Things Unfinished" (Mike Works)


Previous Secondary Objectives:
#14 - expressing character through dialogue
#15 - maximizing modifier effectiveness (by minimizing their use)
#16 - minimize back story
#17 - tight 3rd Person POV
#18 - tight 3rd Person POV (repeat)
#19 - vivid descriptions
#21 - epistolary
#22 - in media res
#23 - frame story
#24 - personal touch
#25 - goal
#26 - everybody makes it out
#27 - in media res variation
#28 - open ending
#29 - slime
#30 - fight scene!
#31 - setting: ruins
#32 - magical realism
#33 - natural disaster
#34 - opposite sex protagonist
#35 - symbolism
#36 - conflicting emotions
#37 - imagery
#38 - invention
#39 - black comedy
#40 - one liner
#41 - the hook, the fork
#42 - circular ending
#43 - narrative poem
#45 - office space
#46 - alternate endings
#47 - genre blending
#48 - no talking
#49 - villains
#50 - the call back
#51 - multiple POVs
#52 - style adoption
#53 - physical disability
#54 - unfair
#55 - summer
#56 - allegory
#57 - seat of the pants/ planning
#58 - dictionary time
#59 - stream of consciousness
#60 - complete story
#61 - unreliable narrator
#62 - the human condition
#63 - ending first
#64 - enter!
#65 - noir
#66 - true story
#67 - tropes
#68 - epistolary
#69 - comedy-drama
#70 - epistolary
#71 - transportation
#72 - pyrrhic victory
#73 - the other
#74 - absurd
#75 - unwitnessed
#76 - work of art
#77 - anonymous
#78 - creative non-fiction
#79 - genre wink (+ gender-bender)
#80 - religious text (+ chatty narrator)
#81 - animals
#82 - weirdtopia
#83 - foreshadowing
#84 - thematic patterning
#85 - comeuppance
#86 - ambiguity
#87 - subtext in dialogue
#88 - impact final sentence
#89 - endearingly chaotic
#90 - apocryphal
#91 - choose your own
#92 - editor!
#93 - anonymous
#94 - story within a story
#95 - MRUs
#96 - active verb description
#97 - Myers-Briggs / Enneagram
#98 - fatal flaw
#99 - animals
#100 - memory

 

[Ashes]

Yeah... I think I'm gonna skip it this time. Maybe go with comfortably impersonal instead.

Cool theme. Time to start thinkalizing!

You can write something uncomfortably personal by being comfortably impersonal. I do it all the time.

 

[SquiddyCracker]

I have been slacking the last couple of contests, so I'm just gonna chill a bit with this one.

I might go comedy, but I've never done comedy successfully.

 

[Cyan]

You can write something uncomfortably personal by being comfortably impersonal. I do it all the time.

Heh. And I'd love to learn to do that as well as you do. But I do intend to skip this secondary--I've already got too many things I'm trying to integrate in my writing at the moment, adding another one would just be overkill.

For now.

 

[B-Dubs]

Well, it is optional...

Yea, but I just knocked out a draft so I may as well try. Hmm, I bet I could do it if I messed around with the timeline in the story a bit. Oh that could be good or at least really fun.

 

[multivac]

All you people submitting entries and finishing drafts already, I just don't understand it. You know you don't have to start writing until next Thursday or Friday, right?!

Spoiler

Deadline Club back me up

 

[Sober]

Family thing means I have to actually skip this one instead of being sorta out of ideas. Sucks...

Jeez, we're already at 125? Felt like yesterday I was doing #115 or something (I don't think I actually wrote anything then). It's pretty much been a year since 100!

 

[Cyan]

Family thing means I have to actually skip this one instead of being sorta out of ideas. Sucks...

Jeez, we're already at 125? Felt like yesterday I was doing #115 or something (I don't think I actually wrote anything then). It's pretty much been a year since 100!

Sheeeeeit, the first one was five years ago. You'd think I'd be a better writer by now.

 

[Mike M]

All you people submitting entries and finishing drafts already, I just don't understand it. You know you don't have to start writing until next Thursday or Friday, right?!

Spoiler

Deadline Club back me up

I just have away of stories I've ways wanted to write but never got around to it that I usually pull from for these things. They're usually half-written in my head before I type a word, makes the going quick : )

 

[Ashes]

Heh. And I'd love to learn to do that as well as you do. But I do intend to skip this secondary--I've already got too many things I'm trying to integrate in my writing at the moment, adding another one would just be overkill.

For now.

Let's not debate how bad writers we are in terms of where we want to be, but this is bolded part is an interesting point. Spill already man.

 

[nicoga3000]

I've never done this before, but I think I finally will. I've already started! I don't do enough writing - something ALWAYS gets in the way. But thankfully, this is short enough where I can very easily make time to get it done.

I think I can work the secondary in. In fact, as I type this, I just realized a really fun way to incorporate it!

/subbed

 

[John Dunbar]

i've actually written something for the past two challenges, but started so late i couldn't finish them and just went to sleep. i'll try to get something going early this time. got some time on me hands.

unless i suffer from a bout of... performance anxiety, nyack nyack nyack.

 

[Mike M]

I know exactly what I'm doing, but it's a little experimental. We'll see how it turns out.

Spoiler

I've been wanting to do this for two entries and totally reverse engineered the theme from the idea.

 

[Mike M]

On a tangental note, this is a question that might arguably be better posited in the WritingGAF Mega Thread, but since more people here have read my stuff...

Say I were to hypothetically (by which I mean this is not hypothetical at all) submit two stories I wrote as samples of my writing, which ones should I use? Logic suggests the two winning entries I've got, but those may have been the winners of those challenges, but not overall my strongest work...

 

[Ashes]

That is correct. But winning entries might also be your strongest entry too.
I'm not sure if you know of crowphoenix, but he had a long run of coming second. Until one day he won. I think his winning entry is good, but not necessarily his best. Likewise, in a table of winners, he would come low, which is jarring, because he is (was) amongst the best, competitively, week in, week out, and very popular amongst GAF writers. He is up there with DMD, Cyan and Aaron in my mind.
I don't think my favourite cyan story (most impressive writing wise) won his week either. (Maybe I'm wrong - will check later), because that was probably the highest standard week in my time here.
And finally, there are some stories that I initially belittle, but over time, their strength, lingers on. Especially stories that are difficult to read. Dresden once wrote a story like that.

 

[Cyan]

Yeah, pick the two that you think are the best or that you think you can best whip into top-notch shape. That will not necessarily be your winners.

If you give us a list of the ones you're considering, we can give our opinions, but ultimately you're gonna need to decide.

I don't think my favourite cyan story (most impressive writing wise) won his week either. (Maybe I'm wrong - will check later), because that was probably the highest standard week in my time here.

Interesting! I'd be curious to know which one that was.

Oh, and I do intend to answer your earlier question, but it'll take a little bit of explanation about the short story workshop I did last weekend.

 

[Ashes]

Interesting! I'd be curious to know which one that was.

No idea sorry, there's a hundred plus threads now - ha ha! And because I recall when I tried to read it again a while ago, you'd edited it out. You don't typically write dark stories, and I think this one was dark. *

Oh, and I do intend to answer your earlier question, but it'll take a little bit of explanation about the short story workshop I did last weekend.

Ha ha. I was just trying to put you on the spot mate. What with the thread theme/secondary.

* There is another one that I like; it was about Aristophanes... No idea which thread, but I think I voted for Crow's story that week. ha ha. But it's one of those ones where I remembered it fondly, and wanted to read again during a recentish Christmas break.

 

[Cyan]

No idea sorry, there's a hundred plus threads now - ha ha! And because I recall when I tried to read it again a while ago, you'd edited it out. You don't typically write dark stories, and I think this one was dark. *

* There is another one that I like; it was about Aristophanes... No idea which thread, but I think I voted for Crow's story that week. ha ha. But it's one of those ones where I remembered it fondly, and wanted to read again during a recentish Christmas break.

Ahh, I know which one you mean. The unicorn one. Good to know!

Ha ha. I was just trying to put you on the spot mate. What with the thread theme/secondary.

Oh. Well, I'm going to answer anyway. Might help me stick to my new-found resolve to improve.

 

[Ashes]

Yeah, the unicorn one. Do you still have it lying around?

 

[Cyan]

Yeah, the unicorn one. Do you still have it lying around?

Shore nough do.

 

[ronito]

So I finished my PMP finally and was looking forward to participating.
Performance Anxiety and uncomfortably personal?
Sadly, I already wrote that piece for these challenges and can't really come to write another. That one was hard enough to write.

 

[Cyan]

Ok, to answer Ashes' earlier question P). So the short story workshop incorporated a number of different techniques and ideas, basically all of which I want to keep working on. We did a number of exercises, interspersed with relatively brief lectures and some critiques all round the group.

The exercises were an interesting variety. The first was on using description to do double-duty, showing emotion and character and even a little exposition, through strong POV use. Most of the exercises involved writing a particular scene in several different ways, first with pre-written dialogue, then with a POV change, then with all-new dialogue. And finally we did an exercise taking a brief idea snippet to an outline and then writing it out in 90 minutes. I got a really decent 3000-word story in 90 minutes, was really cool and fun.

Anyway. Here are some of the things we went over (or that I've been otherwise thinking about) that I want to intentionally keep in mind:
-description using multiple senses, and incorporating emotion and character through POV
-meaningful movement, internal motivation, focus (all essentially relating to character actions and making sure the things they do make sense)
-pacing and rhythm in dialogue, along with character specificity
-and I'm going to reuse the outlining system we sampled, which basically went: several thumbnail sketches of possible story ideas (with broadly aligned story questions/conflicts, for lack of a better term) -> pick one or more you like, expand to an outline (find the holes, cut redundancies, work out how many scenes are needed) -> sit down and write it in one go

The first two of those are what I aim to focus most strongly on for this challenge. And I'm going to try the outlining thing again to see if it works for me outside the pressure of the writing workshop.

 

[Cyan]

So I finished my PMP finally and was looking forward to participating.
Performance Anxiety and uncomfortably personal?
Sadly, I already wrote that piece for these challenges and can't really come to write another. That one was hard enough to write.

Yeah, you're excused.

But! You could still write something totally fictional.

 

[kehs]

I've been splurging my writing chops all over gaf haphazardly tonight.

I should save them for this thread.

Help me c:100.

 

[hey_monkey]

Anyway. Here are some of the things we went over (or that I've been otherwise thinking about) that I want to intentionally keep in mind:
-description using multiple senses, and incorporating emotion and character through POV
-meaningful movement, internal motivation, focus (all essentially relating to character actions and making sure the things they do make sense)
-pacing and rhythm in dialogue, along with character specificity

All good things for everyone to think about, in my little opinion. I mean, they're obvious, right? But in the moment we often forget. I particularly find the first one a great tool in the hands of a discerning author, because we can learn so much about character through what they notice, when, and how, and too often we just get caught up in description without it serving a real purpose.

General we there, not us we, of course.

 

[GRW810]

Not used to these threads being so active in the early days of a challenge.

 

[SquiddyCracker]

Not used to these threads being so active in the early days of a challenge.

Me being active early on usually mean I end up not finishing the thing because I think I got it settled

Anyway, I do think I know what to write about now

 

[krrrt]

As I enjoy occasionaly writing fiction and this is the first time I've noticed one of these threads I'd like to try to participate in this challenge. Thing is, I'm not a native speaker so I'm not sure whether my (written) English is up to par. Since submitting a story in Dutch is not really an option I'll probably just tough it out and swallow my pride, but I would appreciate it if people would be somewhat more gentle. (And obviously it would be appreciated if any grammatical errors or wrong/inconsistent spelling were corrected)

I'm still not sure I'll take part, but I will at least try writing a story in English to pop my second language fiction writing cherry.

 

[Chainsawkitten]

Your English seems perfectly fine to me. English is not my native mother's language tongue either, but people have been quite kind here, even when I make some stupid mistakes.

 

[GRW810]

As I enjoy occasionaly writing fiction and this is the first time I've noticed one of these threads I'd like to try to participate in this challenge. Thing is, I'm not a native speaker so I'm not sure whether my (written) English is up to par. Since submitting a story in Dutch is not really an option I'll probably just tough it out and swallow my pride, but I would appreciate it if people would be somewhat more gentle. (And obviously it would be appreciated if any grammatical errors or wrong/inconsistent spelling were corrected)

I'm still not sure I'll take part, but I will at least try writing a story in English to pop my second language fiction writing cherry.

Go for it. Your English is superb. I wouldn't have known it wasn't your first language if you hadn't said do.

If you have any worries I'm sure one of us wouldn't mind giving your story a proofread pre-deadline to point out any issues. From your post above I don't think you'll have much problem.

 

[ronito]

Yeah, you're excused.

But! You could still write something totally fictional.

Yeah I could but that was actually a piece that I wrote for these that I actually liked, and frankly I don't think I could do better. Just better to leave well enough alone.

 

[kehs]

How do you guys feel about using pictures or drawings within a novel?


Not for things like..."what a beautiful day at the beach" and then a picture of the beach.

But like trying to make the intangible semi tangible visually.

 

[B-Dubs]

How do you guys feel about using pictures or drawings within a novel?


Not for things like..."what a beautiful day at the beach" and then a picture of the beach.

But like trying to make the intangible semi tangible visually.

That's fine. You should read Breakfast of Champions if you're into that. Vonnegut does some sketches to go along with the book.

 

[Tim the Wiz]

How do you guys feel about using pictures or drawings within a novel?


Not for things like..."what a beautiful day at the beach" and then a picture of the beach.

But like trying to make the intangible semi tangible visually.

It's absolutely fine. A little author by the name of W.G. Sebald used to do this a bit. Not bad footsteps to follow in.

 

[Cyan]

Not used to these threads being so active in the early days of a challenge.

Ain't nothing wrong with that.

 

[British Monsoon]

Excellent, got a good idea brewing for this one. Glad of the big word count as well, I had to bow out of the last challenge because I realised the story I was writing needed more, not less and I didn't want to do myself a disservice by gutting it.

Only problem with my current idea is that it's a police detective sort of story and I feel that I fall far too easily into cliché when writing outside of my usual genres. Do you guys think the cliché of a policeman married to the job who neglects his wife is a forgivable one? Or one used too often?

 

[kehs]

I'll look into both of those tim and b-dubz, thanks.

 

[Cyan]

Only problem with my current idea is that it's a police detective sort of story and I feel that I fall far too easily into cliché when writing outside of my usual genres. Do you guys think the cliché of a policeman married to the job who neglects his wife is a forgivable one? Or one used too often?

Are you feeling a little... anxious?

It all depends on what you do with it, man. Hehehe.

 

[Sleepy]

For some reason the first story I thought of when I read this theme was Baldwin's "Going to Meet the Man."