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Ask OnkelC about "Ze Germans"

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O

OnkelC

Hail to the Chef
Guten Morgen NEOGAF,

in this thread you can post your questions about Germany, its inhabitants, language, food, metric system, dating habits, TV and so on, just go freestyle. I will try to answer all questions to the best knowledge (and improve on my english writing skills).

Answers will start in around 8 hours.
 
W

White Man

Member
Is the cost of living in Germany really as out of control as is said, even in rural areas?

How are your immigration laws? I'd love to live in Germany. I can speak the language pretty well for an american kid, but I can read it nearly as well as I can english.
 
W

woodchuck

Member
OnkelC said:
Guten Morgen NEOGAF,

in this thread you can post your questions about Germany, its inhabitants, language, food, metric system, dating habits, TV and so on, just go freestyle. I will try to answer all questions to the best knowledge (and improve on my english writing skills).

Answers will start in around 8 hours.
Click to expand...

What do you feel is the best city in Germany for an American tourist? My dad lived in Frankfurt for about a year, so I've visited Frankfurt and Munich, and I loved Munich.
 
F

Ferrio

Banned
"Don't mention the war!"

fawlty.jpg
 
D

Deleted member 1235

Unconfirmed Member
metdroid said:
Is Berlin nice?
Click to expand...

Shit yeah, that city rules.

Some random facts I know about germany (german girlfriend)

Germans don't Get "nazi jokes" like if you say, "**** that lady at the video store is a real nazi" this will be met with a blank faced stare. Not offended or angry, but actual confusion, doesn't register right because they have a very different perspective on Nazis than the rest of the world (especially compared to non europeans and british).

A german invented the Doner Kebab (a turkish german)

Germans, while good at stuff, don't have a good sewer system. I have noticed this in Berlin and Cologne, on hot days you can smell the odor.

Berlin is ****ing scary at new years. It's a great time, but people throw large explosives EVERYWHERE. I damaged my hearing for around 3 months last new years.

Heife Weizen (sp?) is the best beer in the world.

Germans rock at meat products. Nobody better at Bier und Wurst! For evidence look no further than the Munich Oktoberfest.

Not everyone was happy about the berlin wall coming down, because despite it obviously being something that had to happen, it resulted in a massive influx of poor people into west berlin and sucked for all the west berliners. The grumpy old dude that fixes my bike in holland says to me "I don't go to berlin anymore, I want my wall back"

Tell us a German joke, but translated into English!
Click to expand...

What did 2 bananas in the GDR say to each other.

Nothing they don't have bananas!
 
D

Deleted member 1235

Unconfirmed Member
Kebric said:
Dude...what?
Click to expand...

This is what I said after I heard the joke. It was prefaced with "uh, this is probably not going to work for you" I hope I told it right. I think they didn't have fresh fruit in the Communist East berlin cause russia sucked at running the place or something?
 
K

Kebric

Neo Member
catfish said:
This is what I said after I heard the joke. It was prefaced with "uh, this is probably not going to work for you" I hope I told it right. I think they didn't have fresh fruit in the Communist East berlin cause russia sucked at running the place or something?
Click to expand...

Ah, yes. I get it now. :)

I have a question: Is German beer as good as they say it is? And do they get drunk often?
 
K

Kola

Member
catfish said:
This is what I said after I heard the joke. It was prefaced with "uh, this is probably not going to work for you" I hope I told it right. I think they didn't have fresh fruit in the Communist East berlin cause russia sucked at running the place or something?
Click to expand...

hehe yes, east germans usually never had any kind of tropical fruit during the cold war until the wall came down. the banana used to be kind of a symbol for those shortages. it's quite hilarious actually
 
K

Kola

Member
woodchuck said:
What do you feel is the best city in Germany for an American tourist? My dad lived in Frankfurt for about a year, so I've visited Frankfurt and Munich, and I loved Munich.
Click to expand...

it depends on what you prefer.

if your more into cities close to the sea i would visit: Hamburg, Bremen or Lübeck. very old cities of the Hanse, which was a major trade organization during the middle ages and beyond. very nice architecture.

then it's also nice to visit some of the islands in the north and eastern sea.

when it comes to culture you should definitely visit Weimar or Dresden. castles and the like can be visited in all parts of germany, although the nicest ones are probably located in bavaria (i guess everybody heard about Castle Neuschwanstein at least once. you know, the one Disney copied for their theme parks)

Also very nice cities would be Colone (Köln), Düsseldorf, Munich, Nuremburg and Leipzig.
 
D

Deleted member 1235

Unconfirmed Member
Kebric said:
Ah, yes. I get it now. :)

I have a question: Is German beer as good as they say it is? And do they get drunk often?
Click to expand...
It really is good beer. REALLY GOOD.

I like the wheat beer - Heife Weizen (sp?) although drink 2 of those and it's like eating a loaf of bread as well. You have to pour it special.

Warsteiner and Becks are both lovely beers IMO. Also Kelsch beer from Cologne is delicious, but they sell it in 200ml glasses so you have to drink a million of them.

As for drinking alot, I would say yes, yes they do! It's totally awesome, not neccesarily getting hammered all the time though just a beer with everything.
 
S

S. L.

Member
catfish said:
It really is good beer. REALLY GOOD.

I like the wheat beer - Heife Weizen (sp?) although drink 2 of those and it's like eating a loaf of bread as well. You have to pour it special.

Warsteiner and Becks are both lovely beers IMO. Also Kelsch beer from Cologne is delicious, but they sell it in 200ml glasses so you have to drink a million of them.
Click to expand...
Hefe Weizen, it has a slight sweet touch and you can get a really bad hangover from it if you drink too much.

Becks is pretty good, but almost every city has one or more local breweries so the locals usually drink 'their' beer :)

Kölsch - umlaute ftw
 
F

Funky Papa

FUNK-Y-PPA-4
Germans have a very developed sense of humour, however, it is about as understandable as MS' efforts in Japan. Going to see a German comedy is one of the most ackward experiences for a Western European moviegoer.

Also, Franziskaner FTW.
 
S

S. L.

Member
woodchuck said:
What do you feel is the best city in Germany for an American tourist? My dad lived in Frankfurt for about a year, so I've visited Frankfurt and Munich, and I loved Munich.
Click to expand...
Hamburg is great to visit

evil solrac v3.0 said:
how efficient are you guys really?
Click to expand...
728713648928761119 in Metric Units
 
Z

zou

Member
Funky Papa said:
Germans have a very developed sense of humour, however, it is about as understandable as MS' efforts in Japan. Going to see a German comedy is one of the most ackward experiences for a Western European moviegoer.

Also, Franziskaner FTW.
Click to expand...

Actually, it's just as awkward for locals. The people that call themselves comedians nowadays are an embarrassment to any one capable of breathing.
 
F

Frankfurter

Member
zou said:
Hefe Weizen. And no, this far from the truth. Weizenbier sucks big time.
Click to expand...

Waah, Weizen rocks. I really don't like normal beer that much, but a good Weizen is a great thing to drink!

catfish said:
What did 2 bananas in the GDR say to each other.

Nothing they don't have bananas!
Click to expand...

:lol While we can't laugh about Nazi jokes, atleast the DDR jokes never get old :lol

Kebric said:
I have a question: Is German beer as good as they say it is? And do they get drunk often?
Click to expand...

Yes and yes :D We have more time to practice, you can buy beer, wine and such things if you are 16 or older (and everything else with 18) ;)

Hooker said:
How about making a thread about how Dutch folks think about "Ze Germans"?
Click to expand...

10 pages of angry Germans + 5 bans :D
 
8

8bit

Knows the Score
zou said:
Actually, it's just as awkward for locals. The people that call themselves comedians nowadays are an embarrassment to any one capable of breathing.
Click to expand...


So who exactly is responsible for Bully Parade?
 
O

OnkelC

Hail to the Chef
Funky Papa said:
Onkel=owned.

Let the guy reply!
Click to expand...


:D
I am sitting at work here, will try to answer in about six hours.

German joke translated to english:
"Ich glaub, meine Frau ist tot"
"Wieso das?"
"Naja, im Bett is' wie immer, nur die Küche sieht aus wie Sau."

Translation:
"I think my wife is dead."
"Why do you think so?"
"Well in bed it's as always, but the kitchen is a mess."

Later,

Onkel C (owned)
 
F

Funky Papa

FUNK-Y-PPA-4
S. L. said:
HAH! ME! I have the best of both.
Click to expand...
Careful, some sicko may think you are some kind of real life Asuka or something like that.

OnkelC said:
:D
I am sitting at work here, will try to answer in about six hours.

German joke translated to english:
"Ich glaub, meine Frau ist tot"
"Wieso das?"
"Naja, im Bett is' wie immer, nur die Küche sieht aus wie Sau."

Translation:
"I think my wife is dead."
"Why do you think so?"
"Well in bed it's as always, but the kitchen is a mess."
Click to expand...
100% Teutonic humour. GAF, rejoice. You don't know what's to have a German workmate that thinks he is funny. Well, he may be... in Germany =/
 
F

Frankfurter

Member
OnkelC said:
:D
I am sitting at work here, will try to answer in about six hours.

German joke translated to english:
"Ich glaub, meine Frau ist tot"
"Wieso das?"
"Naja, im Bett is' wie immer, nur die Küche sieht aus wie Sau."

Translation:
"I think my wife is dead."
"Why do you think so?"
"Well in bed it's as always, but the kitchen is a mess."

Later,

Onkel C (owned)
Click to expand...

:lol :lol
 
S

segasonic

Member
woodchuck said:
What do you feel is the best city in Germany for an American tourist? My dad lived in Frankfurt for about a year, so I've visited Frankfurt and Munich, and I loved Munich.
Click to expand...
Guten Tag

I recommend Hamburg and Cologne!

Auf Wiedersehen!
 
O

OnkelC

Hail to the Chef
Funky Papa said:
100% Teutonic humour. GAF, rejoice. You don't know what's to have a German workmate that thinks he is funny. Well, he may be... in Germany =/
Click to expand...

Maybe it's better with pictures:
630166_tmb2.jpg


Translation:

Gabi (17) from the GDR in paradise (west): "My first Banana!"
Was kinda funny after the wall fell down and is still a classic in my book.

Later,

Onkel C
 
S

segasonic

Member
White Man said:
Is the cost of living in Germany really as out of control as is said, even in rural areas?

How are your immigration laws? I'd love to live in Germany. I can speak the language pretty well for an american kid, but I can read it nearly as well as I can english.
Click to expand...

Nein, nicht teurer als anderswo in Europa. Hamburg, Düsseldorf und München sind teuer. Berlin und Köln billiger.

Wenn du einen Job oder Studienplatz hast, müsste das mit dem Einwandern eigentlich klappn. Aber ich bin kein Experte.







So... did you understand that? Here's a quick recap.

- No, not exceptionally expensive, except Hamburg, Düsseldorf and Munich.
- Immigration should be easy, if you have a job or a university place.
 
K

Kola

Member
catfish said:
It really is good beer. REALLY GOOD.

I like the wheat beer - Heife Weizen (sp?) although drink 2 of those and it's like eating a loaf of bread as well. You have to pour it special.
Click to expand...

that's the reason why i prefer drinking "Kristallweizen". it's much more fluid and tastes more refreshing, expecially if you choose to add a little slice of lemon to it. ahhhh, that's good stuff.
 
D

Deleted member 1235

Unconfirmed Member
I was in cologne recently and 3 homeless people had 5 dogs. So my question is, why should I give them money for food when they haven't even eaten the dogs yet?

What do you feel is the best city in Germany for an American tourist?
Click to expand...

Hmmm, Cologne, It has a big ass church (biggest in europe?) and Americans love church!

I've been a tourist in Munich and Cologne and loved them both, also lived in Berlin for about a month, that city is my favourite but that could be due to my gf being local and knowing heaps of locals and taking me to parties and such.

Having a German guide is far and away the best way to see Germany. Quite a lot of people don't speak english, so you have to have a go at the language. Phrase book FTW
 
F

Funky Papa

FUNK-Y-PPA-4
OnkelC said:
Maybe it's better with pictures:
630166_tmb2.jpg


Translation:

Gabi (17) from the GDR in paradise (west): "My first Banana!"
Was kinda funny after the wall fell down and is still a classic in my book.

Later,

Onkel C
Click to expand...
Ok, that one is actually funny.
 
V

Vexidus

Member
Hey this thread is kinda cool, I was trying to think of a question and here is a silly one that popped into my head:

In Germany do you see many North American car makes such as Ford, Dodge, Pontiac, Cadillac, etc? Where I live it is rare to see BMW, Audi, Opel, Porsche, Mercedes, etc.. VW is a little more common though
 
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