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Could being a giant walking pussy have anything to do with never getting laid?

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D

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
So I go to a restaurant/cafe for lunch that I was at yesterday. I walk to the counter to order my sandwich and it's the same really cute girl who took my order yesterday. "Cool", I thought. "I'll beat off to her later tonight, lolz". Oh how right I was. (by the way I said that last part out loud)


her: "Hi! How are you?"
me: "good"
her: "So what will you have?"
[food ordering bullshit]
her: "Can I have your name?"
me: "Damon"
her: "Oh yeah that's right, I just remembered right as I asked you! haha"
me: "omglol"
her: "My name's Emily, by the way. Nice to meet you."
me: [mumbles] "yeah, nice to meet you" [bewildered that she seems this interested in talking to me]
her: "So what are you doing this weekend?"
me: "..umm.."
her: "..If you don't mind me asking"
me: "I'm probably going home for the weekend" [Fun Fact of the day: I'm not going home this weekend!]
her: "Oh, sounds like fun! Where are you from?"
[blah blah blah, she teaches piano, I used to play piano, blah blah, she's going to Milwaukee this weekend, Bob Loblaw]
me: "....yeah, the Milwauke art museum is a really impressive place"
her: "Cool!"
[slightly awkward pause in conversation]
her: "oh I have to take the next customer, sorry"
me: "oh woops [steps out of the way like a dumbass right as my food is placed on the counter]

And that was the end of the conversation. While I was eating she walked across the room to clean a table, smiled at me and waved. I smiled back. And towards the end she seemed to hang around the end of the couner closest to me for an unusually long time pretending to do stuff. I finished up my lunch, took my time clearing my table as I made a pitiful attempt to psych myself into saying something to her, and then left.

WHAT THE FUCK. First off, was I wrong as interpreting that as flat-out flirting on her part? Maybe I'm wrong. I dunno. God I hate myself, my stupid stupid self. I spend the entire week sulking over how lonely I am and how I wish I could meet people (girls, specifically), and out of nowhere I have what appears to be a blatant opportunity and I sabotage it with excuses and nervousness. oh well, time to start another rockin' friday night. :-|
 
DCX

DCX

DCX
Man you're worse than me, i would have at least waved back before i went home kicking myself...

DCX
 
P

Polari

Member
Wait, is this the same story that was posted on that other forum, or do we have two posters with embarassing situations in sandwich shops?
 
D

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
Polari said:
Wait, is this the same story that was posted on that other forum, or do we have two posters with embarassing situations in sandwich shops?
Click to expand...
I betrust my stories of loserdom and loneliness to no one by you guys, my best friends.
 
D

darscot

Member
Women are about being hot and being cold. This little exchange wasn't that bad and can easily be salvaged if you want to. Just go back in and talk to her again. Do whatever you have too, to relax yourself, rehease in the mirror if it helps. Right now your cold but your on your way up. Which is a good sign. You just have to slowly build on it. You'll get warmer and warmer, then your going to land a girl. Then you'll get hot, and women will be coming out of the woodwork. This is the most dangerous part of the hot cold cycle, staying hot. With you being hot you'll get more chance to land women. From my history I tended to jump all over those chances. Then you get careless get caught with your hand in the cookie jar and crash all the way down to cold. Don't forget there are millions of women out there is you screw up with one, dont worry they dont have some secret netwrok like Interpole (but fuck sometimes it feels like it) other girls only know what you tell.
 
A

Archaix

Drunky McMurder
TheDuce22 said:
Why did you lie about going home for the weekend?
Click to expand...

Mainly because "I have no plans whatsoever, aside from going home and masturbating while thinking of you" isn't as flattering as it sounds.
 
R

Ripclawe

Banned
First off, was I wrong as interpreting that as flat-out flirting on her part?
Click to expand...

she is probably thinking "what a jerk" but hey, another moment will come along...eventually....I mean with the amount of women in the world, the odds of this being one of those once in a lifetime chances of meeting your soulmate that you blew is pretty small.
 
A

argon

Member
demon said:
I betrust my stories of loserdom and loneliness to no one by you guys, my best friends.
Click to expand...

But with a little more confidence, this thread could have been a "porn shout out"
 
dem

dem

Member
TheDuce22 said:
Why did you lie about going home for the weekend?
Click to expand...

So it sounds like he has something going on!

Its better than saying "I'm gunna go home and watch my new Super Sailor Moon Bubblegum X2 Ultra edition dvd!"
 
M

MIMIC

Banned
I didn't start laughing until you started to beat yourself up. :lol

She asked you what you were doing for the weekend. Why didn't you ask HER what SHE was doing? If the conversation ever goes in that direction (which it should since it's a random, general conversation), proceed from there.
 
M

Mr Mike

1 million Canadian dollars
Just go back and ask her out. At best, it's a great story for the grandkids. At worst, you'll need somewhere new to eat lunch.
 
O

OpinionatedCyborg

Member
On the bright side, she probably thinks you aren't very interested, which means you've got a chance at making ammends in the future. If you would've come off as "OMG! I love you won't you tell me your name.. oh right, it's Emily" there probably wouldn't be an opportunity for a second chance. But there is, and when you take advantage of it, you won't lie and you'll be sure to ask her out.
 
T

TheDuce22

Banned
So it sounds like he has something going on!

Its better than saying "I'm gunna go home and watch my new Super Sailor Moon Bubblegum X2 Ultra edition dvd!"
Click to expand...

Just seems like a stupid thing to lie about to me. Obviously the girl would find out hes a dork sooner or later.
 
D

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
Then you'll get hot, and women will be coming out of the woodwork. This is the most dangerous part of the hot cold cycle, staying hot. With you being hot you'll get more chance to land women. From my history I tended to jump all over those chances. Then you get careless get caught with your hand in the cookie jar and crash all the way down to cold.
Click to expand...
And I feel like I'm almost there!

Why did you lie about going home for the weekend?
Click to expand...
I dunno. Kind of an automatic "not leaving my comfort zone" response, like I was afraid if I'd said I didn't have plans she would've asked me out and I'd either be too nervous to agree or I'd end up saying yes and disappointing her and looking like an ass (Fun Fact of the day #2: I have no confidence!). Plus it's the same response I gave the last time a cashier asked me that question (I think he was gay).

She asked you what you were doing for the weekend. Why didn't you ask HER what SHE was doing? If the conversation ever goes in that direction (which it should since it's a random, general conversation), proceed from there.
Click to expand...
She told me what she was doing this weekend (going to milwaukee) a couple moments after I told her I was going home for the weekend. I probably would've asked her, but my mind was too busy going a million miles a minute trying to analyze what was going on. :-/
 
D

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
MIMIC said:
Question: do you think that she could sense that you were nervous?
Click to expand...
I think she sensed a bit of awkwardness in the conversation (although she still seemed really friendly aftewards with the smile/wave thing), but I don't think I came off as nervous. I'm pretty good at hiding that.
 
N

Ninja Scooter

Member
i've done that. The worst is when im semi-drunk at a club and end up being completely oblivious to a girl flirting with me. Then i wake up the next day and cry.
 
M

Mama Smurf

My penis is still intact.
demon said:
me: "omglol"
Click to expand...

:lol

I used to be like that, though perhaps not that bad. And I was younger.

This one time I was at a train station waiting for my train to take me home after visiting a friend at uni. This girl comes and sits a couple of seats over from me on the platform, looking crazily like the girl I was obsessed with at school. She looked like a student, and in a mad fit of confidence I started talking to her, asking if she went to the uni and about the poster sticking out of her bag and stuff. It never once occured to me that I was doing anything but talking to a hot girl, good enough alone to keep me happy for a month.

Turns out, we're getting the same train! Well...ok, I wasn't certain it was my train, but she was getting on so I did too. Anyway, it did turn out to be mine and we sat across an aisle from each other. She even, get this, pulls out an original GBA and Mario Kart! She asks if I want a go, I finish a race first and she for some reason seems to praise me far too much for this, it was just the first track in a Mario Kart, no big deal. So we're talking, it's all flowing easy, this is the best train journey ever! Then, stop before mine, she has to get off (the train, you perverts).

Her: "Well..."

Me: "Yeah"

Her: "..."

Her: "...so this is my stop"

Me: "I'll ermm...cya then"

Her: "..."

Me: "..."

Her: "Ok, bye" *walks off looking miffed*

And I sit their thinking, "That was pretty weird, but I guess awkward silences are normal when saying bye to someone you just met"

*2 weeks pass*

SHIT SHE WANTED ME TO ASK FOR HER NUMBER FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUCK!
 
D

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
FiRez said:
BS.

No one is that shy, How old are you btw?
Click to expand...
I'm 24. I've pretty much had the life experience of a 14 year old, though, so I'm not exactly your typical mid-20s person.

smurf- that sucks. I'd be kicking my ass for weeks after that.


I should also probably add that I wouldn't have come off as so shy and wouldn't have "fucked up" the opportunity so much if it weren't for the fact that she was on the job and had to deal with other customers. If it were just me talking to her on the train like mama smurf (that sounded weird), I probably would've talked more to her and maybe, possibly have gotten so far as to ask for her number. That would've been a first, though.
 
F

FiRez

Member
demon said:
I'm 24. I've pretty much had the life experience of a 14 year old, though, so I'm not exactly your typical mid-20s person.

smurf- that sucks. I'd be kicking my ass for weeks after that.


I should also probably add that I wouldn't have come off as so shy and "fucked up" the situation if it weren't for the fact that she was on the job and had to deal with other customers. If it were just me talking to her on the train like mama smurf (that sounded weird), I probably would've talked more to her and maybe, possibly have gotten so far as to ask for her number. That would've been a first, though.
Click to expand...

I'm 22 and only a few months ago I decided to change that, want to know why? the life is short and you will be young for a very short time.
 
D

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
life is short and you will be young for a very short time.
Click to expand...
I know. :( The feeling of your youth slipping away, especially when you have yet to even experience it, is a crappy one.
 
M

Mama Smurf

My penis is still intact.
I'm sure demon's heard that before and thought it on his own, it won't help. At least it didn't used to help me, nothing anyone said did, as I'd always realised it before then myself (even the therapist, thank you mr waste-of-time).

I honestly don't think you've fucked it up. I mean you kind of did from your perspective, but from hers...you might even accidentally have played it cool! Girls are weird, next time you see her she might be even more interested, and you can be prepared this time.

At leats you know how to find her, unlike train girl *sobs*
 
B

BobbyRobby

Member
Alright, before going back there, dwell on what happened. Think about every possible conversation that might occur next time you eat there. Break out the index cards, and write it all down. You have to prepared. I cannot stress this enough. When you see her again, don't make it too obvious you're reading off of a card, but let her see the corner of one of the cards to let her know your game. She'll respect you for being cautious and professional.
 
dem

dem

Member
BobbyRobby said:
Alright, before going back there, dwell on what happened. Think about every possible conversation that might occur next time you eat there. Break out the index cards, and write it all down. You have to prepared. I cannot stress this enough. When you see her again, don't make it too obvious you're reading off of a card, but let her see the corner of one of the cards to let her know your game. She'll respect you for being cautious and professional.
Click to expand...

:lol :lol :lol
 
A

alejob

Member
Damn Demon, I'm exactly the same way. Which is why I found your story hilarious.

FiRez said:
BS.

No one is that shy, How old are you btw?
Click to expand...

Yes we are :p


I've decided that I'm gonna ask this girl out. I won't eat or drink for a week before I do, I don't want to shit or pee my pants when I do it.

Why don't more women ask guys out. :(
Click to expand...
I know, I've been asked twice but never by the ones I like.
 
C

commish

Jason Kidd murdered my dog in cold blood!
The train story makes me sad.

The OP's story isn't as bad, as it is *easily* fixable. Go back on Monday and just her out. There have been many times in the past where I wish I just asked the girl out but didnt, but now I know it's far better to live with 10 seconds of embarrassment than centuries upon centuries of "what if's"?
 
M

Mama Smurf

My penis is still intact.
I'll tell you what might work. I've never tried it myself, but everytime I watch some film with a heartbreaking ending, particularly about a love people have denied right up until someone dies or has to leave (like Crouching Tiger), it just gets to me so much that I would ask out any girl no matter how good looking instantly just so I wouldn't end up like that. Sadly I tend to see films like that at night with no one round to ask.

BUT if that works for you, you could totally watch something right before you went to ask her out and, if the feeling holds on long enough (lasts maybe an hour for me), it'll be easy.
 
D

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
Mama Smurf said:
I'll tell you what might work. I've never tried it myself, but everytime I watch some film with a heartbreaking ending, particularly about a love people have denied right up until someone dies or has to leave (like Crouching Tiger), it just gets to me so much that I would ask out any girl no matter how good looking instantly just so I wouldn't end up like that. Sadly I tend to see films like that at night with no one round to ask.

BUT if that works for you, you could totally watch something right before you went to ask her out and, if the feeling holds on long enough (lasts maybe an hour for me), it'll be easy.
Click to expand...
So you're saying I should watch Sleepless In Seattle all weekend before asking her out on Monday? No thanks, man, I'd rather take my virginity to the grave.
 
M

Mama Smurf

My penis is still intact.
I can't really remember the plot to Sleepless In Seattle, but Crouching Tiger and Edward Scissorhands would work.

It's even a half serious suggestion. Perhaps it's just me, I don't know, but it was one of the very few things that could get through to me. I don't even believe in an afterlife and the idea of imagining myself on my deathbed alone looking back at the wasted opportunities is horribel, but still wasn't enough. The fear was just too strong.
 
D

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
BlackMage said:
don't forget to wank one off just before seeing her agian.
Click to expand...
Ya know, I've heard that before, and while it may have worked for Ben Stiller, I think it would only hurt my chances with a girl. I'd probably be better off not wanking for a week before seeing a girl....my sex drive would be through the roof and for once maybe my dick would be doing all the thinking instead of my head.

It's even a half serious suggestion. Perhaps it's just me, I don't know, but it was one of the very few things that could get through to me. I don't even believe in an afterlife and the idea of imagining myself on my deathbed alone looking back at the wasted opportunities is horribel, but still wasn't enough. The fear was just too strong.
Click to expand...
Oh I know what you mean. I was just kidding about SIS. I've actually done that kind of thing before, and it's not a bad idea.
 
A

Ark-AMN

Banned
hmm, I defintately feel that I've had that conversation before. Though its been a long time since I've talked to a real girl. And even then, that was a rare event to be sure.
 
D

Dilbert

Member
Fucking hell. That was a SLAM DUNK.

If I were you, I'd go back tonight, tell her that something came up (your parents got the flu or something), and ask her what she's doing this weekend.
 
M

maynerd

Banned
aag.jpg
 
X

xsarien

daedsiluap
The only reason I'm not joining in on the fun is because I missed the boat like this too, and it didn't hit me until later on.

Whenever I think about it, I hear Kuni from "UHF" in my head.

"STUPID! YOU SO STUPID!"

So I feel your pain.
 
M

Matlock

Banned
demon sees baseball flying towards him, walks back to dugout
gaming-age forumites laugh sagely, as this situation is all too true to them
 
M

McLesterolBeast

Member
If you asked her what she was doing next weekend, she would have (im sure) taken it as a 'sign' and gone off on some huge tangent about a hobby or interest. That's what the awkward pause was for.

If it's any consolation, you handled it more swiftly than i would have.

I'd probably tell the truth with the whole 'weekend' thing (that im playing poker and studying), after a short pause and a 'look' as if to suggest that im questioning her intentions.
I also wouldnt ask what she was doing, because i'd feel like a total dong-berry asking something like that to someone i dont know.

But then, im a bit on the antisocial side. And that explains why im in the same boat as you.
 
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