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I owe neoGAF an explanation since you guys helped me out

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A

Amir0x

Banned
EDIT:

After reading this topic, it seems I really do need to seek help for my drug problem, however. I am going into rehab. I am sorry for any distress I caused. I just want everyone to know though that the money you donated went only to my Mom. The rest is my fault for opening my mouth and being insensitive to your kindness. I am truly sorry for any pain I caused over this. You did good when you donated. My Mom has been genuinely helped. Never forget that. That's all I have to say.


I just got back from work and thought I'd respond to the other topic about me using the fundraising money for drugs (or whatever the crazy theory is), since certain individuals are nothing if not gossip marms who think the lowest of people.

The whole purpose of this fundraiser was so that I could help my Mother get her head above water, and simultaneously, as you can see from the plea for help thread...

Since then, it has been a fight with her medical insurance to try to cover the cost of the things she requires for her illness, including the dialysis. As her medical bills escalated, I've gone into my savings until I've gone broke.
Click to expand...

...not have to keep going into whatever savings I have to keep her on the appropriate medical care while also helping my Dad reduce the burden he had to pay, because he was working three jobs just to not go bankrupt.

My drug expenditure this week was a special occasion, that was to make the final election week go fast, and it did not cost me much at all. It cost me about $400, and I had been saving that little nest egg for just such a week.

If you guys didn't realize that by default not having to use my savings anymore to keep my Mom's head above the water was going to naturally free up some cash for myself, including allowing me to start saving again for my wedding (because I had used up all the cash I had saved for my honey moon, wedding, and house on this), I am sorry if you felt misled. I don't know how I would have asked for this sort of help that wouldn't also have some residual benefit for me, since I was helping my Mom stay above water, so I apologize if you guys thought it would not help me whatsoever.


If it would help put your mind at ease, I can record a video of my Mom (as soon as I visit her again) giving thanks to neoGAF (I wanted to do that anyway but she has been really sick) and confirming what the money is going toward, that's no problem at all.

This is what my Mom looks like recently. As you can see her hair has fallen out from treatments for her illness:

MomDialysis03.jpg


I apologize for any misunderstanding. I have my vices. When I was struggling to keep her above water, I just went to much cheaper vices. But in any event, it doesn't matter since not one penny of this went to me. it all went to my Mom and her medical care.


As an aside, to those of you who were all 'I work such and such place and i bet they wouldn't like an addict', you're right, but by our contract I would be told to go to rehab. I would not lose my job. It has happened before. But I would say it is pretty disgusting that you would try to cause someone their job, if it was a factor.
 
L

Like the hat?

Banned
I still trust you, Amir0x. Hope your mom is doing ok. I don't condone drug use, but that's just me. Keep on doing what you're doing.
 
T

TommyT

Member
Honestly, I don't think you 'owe' anyone that donated to you/your mom anything. It is appreciated though and goes a long way given how you're perceived around here (and obvious other places outside of GAF) for the most part.


edit: I can't speak for everyone, but I'd imagine those that donated knew that while you have your vices, it doesn't preclude you from genuinely wanting to help your mom. Therefore, the donations were in the spirit that that's actually what you wanted. The picture (saying thanks) personally was enough reassurance and erased any doubt. There's plenty of plausible explanations as to how you purchase what you want so I didn't see the big stink about it.
 
A

Amir0x

Banned
ElectricBlanketFire said:
I'd love to be in a position where $400 is "not much at all."
Click to expand...

It's obviously a lot in a chunk, but I had been steadily saving $50 per paycheck to get up to this level for this week. So it's not a lot piece by piece.

I appreciate the well wishes, but those were some pretty serious accusations and though that topic got locked I felt it would have been disrespectful to neoGAF not to answer them. You guys gave your money and helped my Mom in immeasurable ways; it's not something I can ever find the words to fully thank you for.
 
Dude Abides

Dude Abides

Banned
Amir0x said:
...not have to keep going into whatever savings I have to keep her on the appropriate medical care while also helping my Dad reduce the burden he had to pay, because he was working three jobs just to not go bankrupt.

My drug expenditure this week was a special occasion, that was to make the final election week go fast, and it did not cost me much at all. It cost me about $400, and I had been saving that little nest egg for just such a week.
Click to expand...

I don't really care about where the money went but this sounds a lot like "I wanted to be able to pay for her treatment while not dipping into my heroin fund" so I doubt your e-stalkers will be mollified.
 
A

Amir0x

Banned
the e-stalkers will do what they want to do... I am concerned with those who aren't e-stalkers and might feel they spent their money wrongly. It is unfair to them to give them cause to concern when they were doing something out of the genuine kindness of their heart.

chicko1983 said:
hang on I missed this, is Amir0x a smack addict?
Click to expand...

Hardly. I rarely if EVER do that drug; it was a special occasion this week. Oxycontin is my thing of choice, as I've said many times before.
 
D

disappeared

Banned
You're one of the good ones Ami. Best of luck to you and your mother.


Also I am very sorry for not having donated, despite my claim that I was going to.

Take care.
 
DanteFox

DanteFox

Member
so basically you would rather beg for money on the internet rather than take from your drug money to help out your dying mom?
 
oxrock

oxrock

Gravity is a myth, the Earth SUCKS!
So essentially you wanted gaf to foot the bill for your mother so you could continue spending your money on drugs? Sounds totally wholesome.
 
A

Angry Grimace

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
Not to be crass, but this is really not good for your look and seriously hope you didn't buy what you said you did.
 
S

Syrinx

Member
Was this rumor or whatever started on that forum that was posted in EL's Europe thread where everybody talks shit about NeoGAF and the mods that banned them or whatever?

Anyway, that donation thing was like, what, six months ago? I'm absolutely positive at this point that any money given was used for the right reasons.
 
A

Amir0x

Banned
DanteFox said:
so basically you would rather beg for money on the internet rather than dip into your drug money to help out your dying mom?
Click to expand...

If that's how you want to painfully strain yourself to interpret it, that's on you. I was hardly spending anything on myself during the months I had to go into all my savings that I had saved up for my wedding, my home, my honey moon, etc because of how tight the funds were. This was unsustainable no matter if I never touched a drug again.

By default, getting financial help had the residual benefit of alleviating this strain. There was no way it could not have done that. But not one penny of the money went to anyone but my Mom. There was no way I could have got that money up that you guys did on my own.

At the point I asked for help, I was basically out of savings to help my Mom with. That is why I was getting desperate.
 
E

ElectricBlanketFire

Member
It just sounds like "saving a little bit each week" is rationalizing the expenditure.

Like, if my family was in real financial trouble, but I saved a little bit each week to buy a new PC, it would still be a selfish purchase even though I didn't spend the money all at once.
 
E

echoshifting

Banned
This seems a bit misguided. I can't speak for everyone, but I doubt those who this is addressed to ever needed it...and if they did, this isn't going to help.

As far as "owing" anyone an explanation is concerned, nothing could be further from the truth.

Now, that said, this is a good post and I hope you'll give it some thought.

animlboogy said:
I don't give a fuck if you're using drugs for fun, but seriously, I read a couple posts from you and some other guys in a thread about oxy use, and you're not in control right now. Your dose was enough to put off some of the other guys who were using fairly often. You're doing too much justification of your drug use. It's time to get off the opiates for a bit and have a good time elsewhere. I know withdrawal sucks, I just enjoyed a shitload of pills from surgery and I had a few painful days getting off them after I spent a few weeks going through the rest recreationally. I didn't need to justify it either, it wasn't for pain, I was fucking around and I knew I'd run out. But no way I'm I going to get more, I had my fun and I'm done.

You shouldn't apologize for what you do with your body in your own time but this is not the first nor the last time your addiction is going to have you justifying things to people. You're just making excuses for yourself. Go smoke some weed, go have a drink, hell go do a line of coke every couple months or so, but I'm just gonna go ahead and say that $400 it's a fucking lot of money to spend, and while you deserve some goddamn relief like anybody else, you're getting dangerously close to crossing the line.
Click to expand...
 
J

JDSN

Banned
I had no idea your mom was on dialysis, fucking lupus. Still, not to be confrontational but theres something really callous about requesting money from strangers while implying $400 is not a big amount of cash.


I hope she recovers and I hope your dad gets a break. Hell, I hope you recover from your terrible drud addiction.
 
C

Cyan

Banned
I can't believe you're using taxpayer dollars to fund personal vices.


...yeah, Amirox might bug me sometimes, but this is a pretty silly thing to get mad about.
 
S

shuri

Banned
Sorry about your mom, but

DanteFox said:
so basically you would rather beg for money on the internet rather than take from your drug money to help out your dying mom?
Click to expand...
Exactly. But guys, "My drug expenditure this week was a special occasion, that was to make the final election week go fast" is a totally legit justification!

Dat final election week!
 
M

MThanded

I Was There! Official L Receiver 2/12/2016
Why did you tell everyone you spent 400 dollars on drugs? Odd move. Some things are better left unsaid.

You didn't owe an explanation to anyone. However, this thread is going to blow up like some crazy now though.
 
R

RevDM

Banned
Your mom seems like a really sweet person, and I have no doubt things got expensive. But there are some things that are weird about your story. For example, patients that require dialysis because of End Stage Renal Disease automatically qualify for Medicare. The treatments are free, and so is a large part of the medical care.

If there was money left over and you bought drugs with it, that makes you a dick.
 
Y

YianGaruga

Banned
I find it baffling how many people here aren't bothered by him spending $400 on opiates in a week, no matter where the money comes from.

What. The. Fuck.

EDIT: Also, what does election week even have to do with it, am I missing something?
 
H

Horse Armour

Member
Yikes! I thought the South park episode was bad. Now you're spending hundreds of dollars on getting wasted a few short months after begging NeoGAF for aid for your clearly sick mother.
 
F

FStop7

Banned
I just realized I have literally no concept of how much drugs actually cost, because I don't use them. But even so, I'm actually kind of freaked out that I have this horrible blind spot.
 
J

Joe Shlabotnik

Banned
DanteFox said:
so basically you would rather beg for money on the internet rather than take from your drug money to help out your dying mom?
Click to expand...

$50 a paycheck = four years to save up $10,000, eight years if the paycheck is bi-weekly.

The question isn't whether it's unconscionable to buy $400 worth of drugs (sure as hell isn't my cup of tea), it's whether it's "unconscionable" to buy a $400 luxury item using your own money after saving up for a few months after a fundraiser has taken care of an enormous medical expense.

Which sounds like a silly thing to get up in arms about. Would you really be seriously seriously pissed if amir0x mentioned in passing that he was going to buy an iPad next week with his own money?
 
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