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NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge #166 - "Dust"

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Cyan

Banned
Theme - "Dust"

Word Limit: 2100

Submission Deadline: Friday, May 22nd by 11:59 PM Pacific.

Voting begins Saturday, May 23rd, and goes until Monday, May 25th at 11:59 PM Pacific.

Grace Periods: Each of the above deadlines will be followed by a 6-hour grace period. Submissions made after the end of the grace period will be ineligible, and votes cast after the end of the grace period will not be counted. Remember that these are grace periods, not extensions of the deadline--you should still submit your work or cast your vote by the deadline set above.

Optional Secondary Objective: Specificity in Nouns

Sometimes when we're writing a story in a rush, the details blur. Blurriness weakens the emotional pull of a story; thins the veneer of reality. Do an edit pass of your story where you replace vague, generic nouns with specific ones. Is that a tree your heroine leans up against, or an oak? Is that a bird singing in the distance, or a sparrow? Is that a car that pulls up to pick them up hitchhiking, or a jalopy? This is also an opportunity to cut down on superfluous adjectives in favor of more specific nouns that convey the same information. (Though "remove adjectives" is not the main objective here.)

Also note that sometimes generic nouns are appropriate! If you're writing in tight third, and your main character doesn't know a chihuahua from a shar pei from a french bulldog, then "small dog" will be the better choice--and in this case, if the breed matters to the story, you'll need to find another means of conveying it. You also don't want to lard down your prose with unnecessary, obscure nouns just for the sake of it. We want to strike the right balance here.


Submission Guidelines:

- One entry per poster.
- All submissions must be written during the time of the challenge.
- Using the topic as the title of your piece is discouraged.
- Keep to the word count!

Voting Guidelines:

- Three votes per voter. Please denote in your voting your 1st (3 pts), 2nd (2 pts), and 3rd (1 pt) place votes.
- Please read all submissions before voting.
- You must vote in order to be eligible to win the challenge.
- When voting ends, the winner gets a collective pat on the back, and starts the new challenge.

NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge FAQ
Previous Challenge Threads and Themes
 

Cyan

Banned
I've been meaning to update the FAQ. If anyone has a likely question or tip they think I ought to put in there, let me know. I'm at least going to add some info on the hangouts.
 

FlowersisBritish

fleurs n'est pas britannique
I'm debating whether or not to be an ass about your secondary and have a character go into granular detail about a oak chair; with him pressing his face into it's red bleeding wood, feeling the smooth varnish against his stubble, and eventually he just fucks the chair.
 

Cyan

Banned
exactly what kind of dust are we talking about here?

Hehe. Gotta leave the theme nice and vague. ;)

I'm debating whether or not to be an ass about your secondary and have a character go into granular detail about a oak chair; with him pressing his face into it's red bleeding wood, feeling the smooth varnish against his stubble, and eventually he just fucks the chair.
Ha! I covered that:
You also don't want to lard down your prose with unnecessary, obscure nouns just for the sake of it. We want to strike the right balance here.
(Also a lot of those are adjectives, IN YO FACE SUCKA)
 

Nezumi

Member
Uh, that secondary will have me look up a lot of words I fear. No way of hiding my insufficient vocabulary behind generic nouns anymore.

But I do like the topic!
 

Cyan

Banned
maybe my knowledge of english is lacking, but is Dust more than just a noun meaning "tiny bits of accumulated debris"?

Oh, I see. I'm sorry, I thought you were joking with the prior comment, riffing on the "specificity" secondary.

Dust means exactly that, but it has a lot of possible resonances. e.g. Western/cowboy movies are famously filled with dusty streets; an army on the march might leave clouds of dust that refugees can see from miles away; a ruined civilization might have crumbled to dust. "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust" is part of a well-known burial invocation.

And the theme isn't meant to be something you're obligated to stick closely to. If any of the above give you any further ideas--desert crossings, armies besieging a town, the political infighting that results in a civilization falling to ruin--feel free to go with one of those as well. The theme is meant to be a spark.

There are also more standard definitions. Maybe someone will write a story about a robot vacuum cleaning up a dusty carpet. ;)
 

Nezumi

Member
Oh, I see. I'm sorry, I thought you were joking with the prior comment, riffing on the "specificity" secondary.

Dust means exactly that, but it has a lot of possible resonances. e.g. Western/cowboy movies are famously filled with dusty streets; an army on the march might leave clouds of dust that refugees can see from miles away; a ruined civilization might have crumbled to dust. "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust" is part of a well-known burial invocation.

And the theme isn't meant to be something you're obligated to stick closely to. If any of the above give you any further ideas--desert crossings, armies besieging a town, the political infighting that results in a civilization falling to ruin--feel free to go with one of those as well. The theme is meant to be a spark.

There are also more standard definitions. Maybe someone will write a story about a robot vacuum cleaning up a dusty carpet. ;)

Well great, how am I supposed to come up with any other idea, now that I have this image stuck in my head...
 

Cyan

Banned
I feel like I should write a western.

Fuck.

Do you not want to write one? There are plenty of other options!

BTW, thanks for linking that podcast by that Scottish dude. I started listening yesterday and I've enjoyed it so far. Just listened to the worldbuilding one, which was actually quite useful for something so short. Most of the time I hear about worldbuilding, it's about complicated top-down style worldbuilding and I find the very thought tiring. Bottom-up is much more my speed, and doesn't get talked about nearly as much.

Edit: I should probably include the link. :p http://storywonk.com/category/podcasts/the-journeyman-writer/
 

Mike M

Nick N
Do you not want to write one? There are plenty of other options!
Yeah, but all I can think is western. Totally not my jam!

BTW, thanks for linking that podcast by that Scottish dude. I started listening yesterday and I've enjoyed it so far. Just listened to the worldbuilding one, which was actually quite useful for something so short. Most of the time I hear about worldbuilding, it's about complicated top-down style worldbuilding and I find the very thought tiring. Bottom-up is much more my speed, and doesn't get talked about nearly as much.

Edit: I should probably include the link. :p http://storywonk.com/category/podcasts/the-journeyman-writer/
It's great content, but his delivery and cadence where he's obviously reciting and inserting fake chuckles and emphasizes everything by phrasing it three different ways in succession drives me nuts. I realize that last point is like the first lesson of communication in ensuring someone understands something, but he's just so stiff and formulaic that I want to just slap him until he delivers an unrehearsed statement.
 

Cyan

Banned
It's great content, but his delivery and cadence where he's obviously reciting and inserting fake chuckles and emphasizes everything by phrasing it three different ways in succession drives me nuts. I realize that last point is like the first lesson of communication in ensuring someone understands something, but he's just so stiff and formulaic that I want to just slap him until he delivers an unrehearsed statement.

Yeah, you're not wrong. It gets annoying pretty quickly. I'm most bothered by the chuckles. :/
 

Nezumi

Member
Uh! Just got hit by an idea. I have a setting, two protagonist and a vague idea of a conflict. Now I only need to come up with a good ending and I might be able to write a first draft faster than Mike.
 
I feel like I should write a western.

Fuck.

nodding_clint_eastwood.gif


dooo iiiiiit
 

Tangent

Member
Congrats, Cyan!!! I'm looking forward to seeing what everyone does with "dust." And I too would be down for reading a Western. :)
 
Well I whipped up a draft of something yesterday.
Then I read it and realised there was next to no conflict in it at all and what little conflict existed was resolved horrendously.

Time to start draft number 2!
 

KimiNewt

Scored 3/100 on an Exam
Well, I've haven't written anything since highschool, and even then it was only a couple of short stories so I have no experience in writing.

However I saw the thread and I've got a free afternoon so I might as well give it a shot. Please don't crucify me!
 

Stinkles

Clothed, sober, cooperative
Fermi’s Parachute


No. It’s clear that we are outmatched, outgunned and outclassed. I have lain waste to more than three hundred worlds, 20 threat-categorized species and three [type 2] civilizations. I have collapsed stars, burned worlds and erased histories and I tell you, this is not a species with which we should engage, let alone challenge.

They must have a weakness. Every culture has its [Achilles heel]. Something must have emerged during deep investigation.

That is the irony. They have many weaknesses. They are a flawed people, deeply so in morality, logic and rationality. Initially I saw many angles of attack, many strategies I felt would work. But every plan I have formulated, every scheme – long plays and tactical strikes – would be rebuffed. In some cases catastrophically. They are not afraid of sacrifice and their technology is sometimes primitive, but sometimes it is… astounding. Much of it is beyond even our best scientists’ understanding.

Yes. I’m aware of the intelligence on their weaponry and mastery of relativistic limits. Their space travel is plainly far in advance of our own, we are still in some ways shackled by the limitations of C, and they are the first potential adversary that is not. Their ability to warp space would give them a significant upper hand in any large scale engagement. That alone would dissuade us from attempting conquest. But their hero, their defender – I suspect he could challenge us even without their star drives. And if not through mere violence, then through biological conquest. You have seen the data. The victories. His stratagems and parries. He has no equal. Certainly not among our forces.

Indeed, we are lucky to have intercepted as many communications as we have. Their encryption technology vexed us for decades. We have listened quietly for a long time – but even after we had solved for coherence and dispersal, the information we were able to reassemble was confusing and strange, more difficult to parse than even quantum entangled signals. We had no key. No frame of reference. It required a brute force approach. Had we not first witnessed his skill, we could have ended our civilization with an ill-informed strike. His vengeance knows no bounds. That is why we have refrained from launching even [Von Neumann] probes. He would see them, he would outwit them and I feel certain he would trace them back to our homeworld. He would cross the galaxy to destroy us. But sir, he is no longer the primary threat. Our watching and listening has revealed another potential guardian of [Earth]. Even more powerful.

More powerful? What monstrous creature could have more power than the [reckless warrior?]

Sir. Another biped. But not of their world. Merely allied with their world. He has mastered C, but he has also mastered something more dangerous. He travels freely through all of spacetime, unencumbered by causality.

You cannot be serious. That is impossible. If it is true, then we and our allies, scattered like dust throughout this galaxy must suppress even further all radio noise, all evidence of our existence. If we hide from them, perhaps we can escape their wrath.

Of course, but our interpretation of the radio signals is not mistaken. This one is more powerful than JamesTiberiusKirk. He is a lord of time, and they call him the Doctor.
 

Ashes

Banned
Excellent advice op.

I shan't be attempting the secondary however. So if it appears that I have done, please note, the authorial choices made in my story(s) exist in a vacuum and/or are being driven by different motivations.







edit: nor, to be clear, is this a critique of said advice. We would all do well to listen to good balanced advice.
 

Cyan

Banned
Excellent advice op.

I shan't be attempting the secondary however. So if it appears that I have done, please note, the authorial choices made in my story(s) exist in a vacuum and/or are being driven by different motivations.

What's this, resistance? In my terrifying tyrannical dictatorship?

This shall not stand!
 

Aaron

Member
I've taken my personal frustrations out on the story, resulting in a pretty surly main character. Still need a GODDAMN ending though.
 

Cyan

Banned
Hangout in twenty minutes! Link is here (quote to see):

The format as always is ten minutes chat followed by thirty minutes writing, rinse and repeat for two hours. I'm not on there just yet, but will be there on the hour. See you guys shortly!
 

Neeener

Neo Member
Hangout in twenty minutes! Link is here (quote to see):

The format as always is ten minutes chat followed by thirty minutes writing, rinse and repeat for two hours. I'm not on there just yet, but will be there on the hour. See you guys shortly!
Oh no!!! I forgot the hangout... That's the only way I write anything before due day :/
 
everytime I see a writing prompt somewhere the first thing that always pops in my head is somebody getting violently murdered. I wonder if I have a problem
 

KimiNewt

Scored 3/100 on an Exam
Well, I've haven't written anything since highschool, and even then it was only a couple of short stories so I have no experience in writing.

However I saw the thread and I've got a free afternoon so I might as well give it a shot. Please don't crucify me!
I managed to write the story, but came up at around ~2500 words. Now to figure out what can be tossed out..
 

Cyan

Banned
I feel bad because I'm at like 700 words but I don't have anything else to add, heh. Not that I have to reach the limit, of course.

That is totally fine! I know it can feel like you need to reach closer to the limit, but if the story is done at 700 words, then it's done. And the readers will be grateful to you for the break of a slightly shorter story. ;)
 
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