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Bald space marine or not? YOU decide, GAF. Vote or Die!

The ultimate goal: to crown the baldest, space marinest, bald space marine in all of gaming. But we aren’t awarding the “Baldie” to just anyone. First, we need to determine who qualifies. Few realize what it takes to be a bald space marine. It takes guts. It takes dedication. But most of all, you have to be bald and a space marine.

This is where you come in: look at the images and brief profiles provided below. Judge the prospective candidates in ONLY these two areas: baldness and space marineness. This is NOT a popularity contest. These two categories are not without their grey areas, though, so our first step is to eliminate those that aren’t worthy of the coveted title. In your post, list the three (3, no more or less) most worthy of moving onto the next round, in any order. The results will be tallied and the five candidates with the most nominations will move on.

If you find the list lacking, you may also nominate a worthy bald space marine that might have been overlooked during the initial selection process.

Here are your candidates, NeoGAF:

1.) Balder (Too Human)
Bald?
66yoznq.jpg

Yes. His name is even Balder, meaning he can only theoretically be outdone by Baldest.
Space Marine?
Balder is a cybernetically enhanced supersoldier charged with protecting humanity from advanced machines who want nothing less than to exterminate the human race. He travels around outerspace and uses guns and swords to do so.

2.) Sgt. Nathan Hale (Resistance: Fall of Man)
Bald?
4q3ulbt.jpg

Freshly shaved this morning.
Space Marine?
He starts as just your average Earth soldier from an alternate past. Then he winds up fighting aliens. Aliens from space.

3.) Master Chief (Halo Series)
Bald?
4qq87ch.jpg

Outside material like the Halo novels suggest he could have red hair, but going solely by the games it is impossible to know for sure.
Space Marine?
The Master Chief is a biologically-enhanced and cybernetically-augmented commando for the United Nations Space Command. Or something.

4.) Commander Shepard (Mass Effect)
Bald?
6h6bl0w.jpg

Yes, by default. It is currently unknown what the other faces available for Shepard look like. At the very least it is likely that if you choose to make Commander Shepard a woman you can have hair.
Space Marine?
Shepard is an elite human soldier charged with protecting humanity from ancient machines who want nothing less than to exterminate all life in the galaxy.

5.) Sgt. Cortez (Timesplitters Series)
Bald?
4uyvec3.jpg

Yep.
Space Marine?
His description in Future Perfect’s character gallery reads: “Space Marine extraordinaire.”

6.) Doomguy (Doom Series)
Bald?
4uczcza.jpg

More of a military-style crewcut, really.
Space Marine?
Yep, and not just any space marine, but an anonymous space marine fighting to survive a mysterious invasion of inter-dimensional demons.

7.) Marcus Fenix (Gears of War)
Bald?
644f7cw.jpg

He has dark black hair sticking out of his do-rag in the retail game. When Epic first revealed the character, however, he was completely bald.
Space Marine?
He becomes the leader of a rag-tag squad for the Coalition of Ordered Governments, so he's got the "marine" part down. The "space" part is a little iffy. “Sera” is the Earth-like planet game takes place on, and is assumed to be humanity’s homeplanet. The humans have satellites, but actual space travel is never even hinted at in the game. The origin of the Locust is also completely unexplained. Lousy barebones story telling...

8.) Jack Mason (Pariah)
Bald?
520z0w5.jpg

It's starting to grow in a bit.
Space Marine?
Jack is a medic for the Alliance, and by an unlikely turn of events has forced him into combat. Generic combat.

9.) Tex (Brute Force)
Bald?
6cyxh68.jpg

Similar to Doomguy, he has a military-style crewcut.
Space Marine?
Indeed, for the Confederation Republic. That’s the name of the unified government for Earth’s colonies in the future, which may or may not be run by hicks.

10.) Riddick (The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay)
Bald?
663l7ad.jpg

You bet.
Space Marine?
He may in fact have a military past, but gamers know him as a tough guy stuck in a prison. A prison in space. And he tries to escape from the space prison.
 
Can I use all three votes on that space marine from Doom?

He is a space marine, isn't he? Space marine, space marine, space marine, space marine, space marine, space marine.
 
This thread is made out of awesome. Bald Space Marines is the Genre that really helped the XBOX take off, even if you can't tell if MC is bald, but you can assume that if he never takes the helmet off, and he's gen-engineered, they probably took out his ability to grow hair, so that they wouldn't have to give him haircuts.
 
i guess haired space marines make more sense...

oh who am i kidding. they're space marines to begin with. give them some damn hair!
 
a Master Ninja said:
4.) Commander Shepard (Mass Effect)
Bald?
6h6bl0w.jpg

Yes, by default. It is currently unknown what the other faces available for Shepard look like. At the very least it is likely that if you choose to make Commander Shepard a woman you can have hair.
Space Marine?
Shepard is an elite human soldier charged with protecting humanity from ancient machines who want nothing less than to exterminate all life in the galaxy.

what a dune ripoff
 
all this proves is that there needs to be more balding space marines, a little hair on the sides and back with a naked top would work while gunning down aliens.
 
Deepblue said:
This thread was poorly concieved.
:lol Oh come on Deep.

Anyway, I go for the too human guy.:lol And it finally sunk in that this bald space marine thing has some backing behind it. Wow...

Makes sense though since most shave in the army but still. Wow.

azrael p.o.s. said:
Can I use all three votes on that space marine from Doom?

He is a space marine, isn't he? Space marine, space marine, space marine, space marine, space marine, space marine.
:lol
 
I look forward to the day we have the technology for video game space marines to grow mullets and other types of metal hair.
 
azrael p.o.s. said:
Can I use all three votes on that space marine from Doom?

He is a space marine, isn't he? Space marine, space marine, space marine, space marine, space marine, space marine.

He's not bald enough, I see some hair there.
 
1). Bald: Yes. Space Marine: Close Enough. Verdict: Yes
2). Bald: Yes. Space Marine: Yes. Verdict: Yes
3). Bald: Indeterminate. Space Marine: Close Enough. Verdict: Yes, but grudgingly
4). Bald: Yes. Space Marine: Yes. Verdict: Yes
5). Bald: Yes. Space Marine: Couldn't be clearer. Verdict: Yes
6). Bald: No. Space Marine: Hell yes. Verdict: Have to say no, crew cut is not bald
7). Bald: Tough, but leaning towards yes. Space Marine: Former military good enough for me. Verdict: Yes
8). Bald: Not bald. Space Marine: Pansy medic. Verdict: No on all accounts
9). Bald: No. Space Marine: Close Enough. Verdict: No
10). Bald: Yes. Space Marine: Heavily hinted at. Verdict: Yes, if narrowly

Overall:
Bald Space Marine (or close enough): 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 10
NABSM (Not A Bald Space Marine): 6, 8, 9
 
9 out of 10 bald space marines come from a Xbox/ Xbox 360 game.


W - o - w.

There must be some majical, mystery force that makes Xbox devs to take part in this ritual.

No baldness = no Xbox devkit?
No marines = no real world marketing?
No space = no Live demo?

YOU DECIDE

It's a joke.
 
So I guess we're supposed to be voting, in which case, I'm going to vote:

1. Sgt. Cortez (TimeSplitters) - obviously, he's quite bald and TECHNICALLY a space marine, not just figuratively like most of the other guys on this list.
2. Sgt. Nathan Hale (Resistance) - he's bald enough for me, he's marine enough for me, and he DOES fight aliens from space, which is good enough for me.
3. Balder (Too Human) - HIS NAME IS FREAKIN BALDER COME ON

DNQ - Doomguy just isn't bald enough. Sorry, Doomguy.
 
I'm voting for Balder. He's clearly bald and he definitely fights in space (even if he's not quite a marine per se).

And, yeah, great thread :)
 
a Master Ninja said:
3.) Master Chief (Halo Series)
Bald?
4qq87ch.jpg

Outside material like the Halo novels suggest he could have red hair, but going solely by the games it is impossible to know for sure.
Space Marine?
The Master Chief is a biologically-enhanced and cybernetically-augmented commando for the United Nations Space Command. Or something.
Carrot Top?
4l8iuck.jpg
 
Yes, they are all bald space marines.

Designers . . please take note. End this overkill.

Gimme a dreadlocked naval guy. (OK, dreads are too hard to render . . . how about a 'fro?)
 
speculawyer said:
Yes, they are all bald space marines.

Designers . . please take note. End this overkill.

Gimme a dreadlocked naval guy. (OK, dreads are too hard to render . . . how about a 'fro?)
1038_0014.jpg
 
a Master Ninja said:
2.) Sgt. Nathan Hale (Resistance: Fall of Man)
Bald?
4q3ulbt.jpg


4.) Commander Shepard (Mass Effect)
Bald?
6h6bl0w.jpg
These would be my pick for most cliche/generic/whatever bald space marine. They don't really have any really obvious defining features. A bit like whatshisface on Lost.

Edit: I just realised, Commander Shepard wins by default for having the most generic name that is common to a bald guy and a space marine:

Jack Shephard
normal_stranger-cap-345.jpg


John Sheppard of Stargate Atlantis
180px-JohnSheppard.jpg
 
Joe Molotov said:
He's not bald enough, I see some hair there.

I think the badass-ness factor making up for the little hair he has. And like, razors are impossibly hard to find on Mars, or in hell, wherever he is nowadays... don't you think Doom guy would use one since it's so hot down there if he could?
 
Danthrax said:
1. Sgt. Cortez (TimeSplitters) - obviously, he's quite bald and TECHNICALLY a space marine, not just figuratively like most of the other guys on this list.
Except he never fights in space, nor fights aliens.
the timesplitters are genetic freaks, not aliens

I think Shepard from Mass Effect is the only one that fits the title.
 
What about the origin of all those bald space marines in clunky armor - WH 40k? DoW had a lot of bald space marines, you should include at least one.

This one is at least looking a bit different from the mass:

DoW.jpg
 
Aaron said:
Except he never fights in space, nor fights aliens.
the timesplitters are genetic freaks, not aliens
Not true. Timesplitters 2 has him on the Splitter's mothership (in space near Earth) and you do fight aliens in other times (in that futuristic level).
 
a Master Ninja said:
3.) Master Chief (Halo Series)
Bald?
4qq87ch.jpg

Outside material like the Halo novels suggest he could have red hair, but going solely by the games it is impossible to know for sure.
Space Marine?
The Master Chief is a biologically-enhanced and cybernetically-augmented commando for the United Nations Space Command. Or something.
Bald and without facial expression, nex-gen role model for ideal rendering pipeline
 
Bildi said:
Edit: I just realised, Commander Shepard wins by default for having the most generic name that is common to a bald guy and a space marine

You're going to regret that...

Dr. Derek Shepherd of Grey's Anatomy
Patrick_Dempsey.jpg
 
azrael p.o.s. said:
Can I use all three votes on that space marine from Doom?

He is a space marine, isn't he? Space marine, space marine, space marine, space marine, space marine, space marine.

are you trying to imply that doom-guy is a space marine?
 
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