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Most embarrassing place you've ever farted?

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S

ScOULaris

Member
I know, I know... this is an incredibly inane and immature topic, but I'm bored at work.

For me, it was in my Computer Science class in college. I was in a classroom (with desks, not just seats like in a lecture hall) with about 50 other students. I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, so I ended up falling asleep with my head down on my desk halfway through class. About ten minutes later, I farted myself awake.

You read that right. I guess being hunched over my desk in such an awkward fashion put pressure on my bowels and forced out a fart that was so intense it woke me from my slumber. I full-on ripped ass. We're talking Whoopee Cushion here. As if the thunderous noise of my fart vibrating between my asscheeks and the hard seat didn't call enough attention to me, the fact that it woke me up made it twice as embarrassing. When it happened, I immediately pulled my head from my desk and sat up perfectly straight, leaving no doubt for anyone in the class that I was the source of the gaseous interruption.

As a bonus, it happened again in another class the following week. :lol

Anyway, got any similar stories? Should this be an early nominee for Worst Thread of 2011?
 
C

ChiTownBuffalo

Either I made up lies about the Boston Bomber or I fell for someone else's crap. Either way, I have absolutely no credibility and you should never pay any attention to anything I say, no matter what the context. Perm me if I claim to be an insider
In the presence of the First Lady.
 
N

noah111

Still Alive
I really can't remember, I rarely fart!

If I ever feel the need to REALLY bad I at least have the decency to somehow strategically wiggle and spread my cheeks in a way where they won't make a giant sound (more of a *pfff*)

However, my friend in high school would fart all the time (jokingly) and once accidentally sharted in front of class. It was horrible, you could see it through his jogging shorts.
 
B

BertramCooper

Banned
During sit-ups in gym class in 6th grade.

It echoed through the gymnasium. I acted like it wasn't me and told people it was the smelly kid next me who did it. :lol
 
C

ChiTownBuffalo

Either I made up lies about the Boston Bomber or I fell for someone else's crap. Either way, I have absolutely no credibility and you should never pay any attention to anything I say, no matter what the context. Perm me if I claim to be an insider
ScOULaris said:
Um, really? Care to elaborate? Which First Lady and under what circumstances?
Click to expand...

Michelle Obama, in the campaign office I was working at.

I just walked in and had to high step to avoid a stepping on some documents and the Vuvzela Concerto in B flat happened.
 
L

Leunam

Member
ScOULaris said:
About ten minutes later, I farted myself awake.
Click to expand...

:lol :lol :lol

Most embarrassing for me isn't actually that embarrassing compared to this. I was talking to a coworker by his office and I could feel my bowels swelling up so I excused myself and with every step I took away from his office I tooted in sync with my walking.

Looking back it wasn't too bad because he was the only one who heard it and I didn't really respect him enough to care about his opinion of me.
 
S

SmokyDave

Member
I have farted whilst receiving oral sex and I have been farted on (at?) whilst giving oral sex. The first was hilarious and the second was disgusting, undignified and inconsiderate.

About ten minutes later, I farted myself awake.
Click to expand...
I lost it here.
 
A

Aylinato

Member
one time, I was standing in a large group of my gf's family, it was like christmas eve, I farted and it smelled terribly, and one of their family members got a whif of it and started looking around to see who looked guilty of stinking up the area around her. As we were all standing in a large group for a photo. I still laugh thinking about it, and have no idea how I kept a straight face(it smelt baddddd) :lol :lol :lol :D :D :lol :lol :lol
 
A

Alucrid

Banned
Leunam said:
:lol :lol :lol

Most embarrassing for me isn't actually that embarrassing compared to this. I was talking to a coworker by his office and I could feel my bowels swelling up so I excused myself and with every step I took away from his office I tooted in sync with my walking.

Looking back it wasn't too bad because he was the only one who heard it and I didn't really respect him enough to care about his opinion of me.
Click to expand...
:lol

shaft said:
When I was on a date.

I blame KFC! Never go to KFC when on a first date.
Click to expand...
Erm...KFC? First date?
 
S

ScOULaris

Member
SmokyDave said:
I have farted whilst receiving oral sex and I have been farted on (at?) whilst giving oral sex. The first was hilarious and the second was disgusting, undignified and inconsiderate.
Click to expand...
That's why you've gotta plug it up with your pinky finger. Live and learn. :D
 
G

GasProblem

Member
While waiting in line for a water attraction in an amusement park. My mom was complaining about the smell of the water. Later I told her that was me :lol
 
wolfmat

wolfmat

Confirmed Asshole
I was at a party, went to the toilet at some point. So a group of other people arrived. I let a loud one out as they were standing in the doorway, which was close enough so that they could hear it well. I flushed, washed my hands and when I left the toilet, they still stood there and were looking at me awkwardly as I came out. It was completely natural and decent, yet still embarrassing.
 
K

Kentpaul

When keepin it real goes wrong. Very, very wrong.
ScOULaris said:
I know, I know... this is an incredibly inane and immature topic, but I'm bored at work.

For me, it was in my Computer Science class in college. I was in a classroom (with desks, not just seats like in a lecture hall) with about 50 other students. I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, so I ended up falling asleep with my head down on my desk halfway through class. About ten minutes later, I farted myself awake.
Click to expand...

i lolled OP.:lol
 
S

ScOULaris

Member
Also, don't you hate it when you find some secluded corner of a clothing store in which to squeak out a silent one, and just as it begins to waft up to nose height some gorgeous woman walks right into your shit cloud? And then you see her nostrils expanding and contracting, so you fucking know she smells it.

On the flipside of that coin, whenever I turn the corner to an aisle in a bookstore just as someone audibly farts I just stand there and stare at them like, "You thought you were gonna get away with it, but I know what you did."
 
C

ChiTownBuffalo

Either I made up lies about the Boston Bomber or I fell for someone else's crap. Either way, I have absolutely no credibility and you should never pay any attention to anything I say, no matter what the context. Perm me if I claim to be an insider
jakncoke said:
date to KFC? wat:lol
Click to expand...

I've seen dates at KFC. Not that weird.
 
D

Dragon

Banned
In Calculus class freshman year of college. We had these curved seats which amplified the fart so that everyone in the class heard it and looked at me. My friend next to me started dying and my 60 year old teacher who always dressed in spandex wanted to know why everyone was laughing. I just got red in the face and put my head down.

Funny enough some girls started talking to me about that, pretty ones too.
 
Big Chungus

Big Chungus

Member
My bathroom is sandwiched between my room and my sisters room so I have to keep my farts in by squeezing my butt muscles whenever I take a dump.

This one time my friends had her friends over and when I had to squeeze one out, I let a big fart out.

The toilet bowl amplified the fart and my sister and her friends laughed at me.
 
M

Maleficence

Member
wolfmat said:
I was at a party, went to the toilet at some point. So a group of other people arrived. I let a loud one out as they were standing in the doorway, which was close enough so that they could hear it well. I flushed, washed my hands and when I left the toilet, they still stood there and were looking at me awkwardly as I came out. It was completely natural and decent, yet still embarrassing.
Click to expand...

Those people were assholes.
 
wolfmat

wolfmat

Confirmed Asshole
fna84 said:
My bathroom is sandwiched between my room and my sisters room so I have to keep my farts in by squeezing my butt muscles whenever I take a dump.

This one time my friends had her friends over and when I had to squeeze one out, I let a big fart out.

The toilet bowl amplified the fart and my sister and her friends laughed at me.
Click to expand...
6efcyw.gif
 
D

Dragon

Banned
ScOULaris said:
"I thought that was really cool how you farted in class. Are you free Friday night?" :lol
Click to expand...

Haha you joke but whenever I see them at parties I'd walk up to them and angle my butt at them and they'd laugh. Yeah I'm pretty clever.

No I didn't hook up with any of them :(
 
R

ReiGun

Member
First period on the first day of sixth grade. Pretty much set the tone for my middle school experience. lol
 
WorriedCitizen

WorriedCitizen

Member
On christmas i accidently farted in front of my mother when i was about to leave my parents home just when i opened the door. It was one of these silent stinkers. My mother smelled it and was like "do you smell that? what the hell are these asians cooking again???" (my parents have asians living in their house and sometimes they get annoyed by the extreme smells of their cooking)

:lol
 
A

Arnie

Member
shaft said:
Actually it was. KFC ain't that bad.
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I know man, I love it, in fact I fancy a three piece variety meal right now, but I'd refrain from ever taking a girl there until at least a few weeks in. Still, I don't know the context of the situation so perhaps for her KFC was a romantic destination for the two of you to get to know each other.
 
A

Alucrid

Banned
WorriedCitizen said:
On christmas i accidently farted in front of my mother when i was about to leave my parents home just when i opened the door. It was one of these silent stinkers. My mother smelled it and was like "do you smell that? what the hell are these asians cooking again???" (my parents have asians living in their house and sometimes they get annoyed by the extreme smells of their cooking)

:lol
Click to expand...

...wat?
 
P

PumpkinPie

Banned
I had low blood pressure and was having my blood taken at a clinic, then when they had finished I stood up and went to leave, only to pass out seconds later. The last thing I remember before blacking out was squeezing out a big pump as I was falling to the ground.
 
T

Takuan

Member
I was at an acquaintance's home for some reason, I can't remember why, along with a group a her friends that I was not familiar with and a handful of my buddies. I had the most awful gas, laid down on her couch, and let a huge one rip while lying on my belly. Caught most everyone's attention, and she yelling out, "DID YOU JUST FART ON MY COUCH?!" made sure the rest knew. I just laughed and apologized. :lol
 
F

FINE-LINE

Neo Member
Me and my gf Emma were riding the eurostar over to Paris from London.
In our cabin were about 20 young Japanese students, there could have been more it seemed like hundreds all yapping away and such.
Anyway, Em and I were trying to take a nap and I was reaching the point of sleep were you loose bodily control when *FART*. It was loud enough not only to wake Emma up but all of the students in the cabin turned dead quiet.
Emma was looking at me mortified.
I said the first thing I thought of: 'Emma! There's a frog on this train!'
It made her laugh and then the students did too. It was embarrassing at the time but now I can just laugh at it.
 
The Lamonster

The Lamonster

Member
My worst fart ever was about 10 years ago while in high school. They had just converted the tiny nurse's office into a classroom. I was seated right in the middle of that room and had a terrible diarrhea fart. It was hot as hell and the quantity was quite massive. It was very sharp, sulfuric. As soon as I let it rip and felt its heat, I knew this would not end well.

One by one, the students loudly exclaimed that a smelly fart was going around, some kids didn't even comment because they were so disgusted. I could see it in their faces. The quiet polite ones just put their heads down as they battled sickness. Even the young female teacher was taken aback by the potency of this one.

Of course, I had to make a comment as well or they would know it was me. I think I said something like, "whoever it was, you know who you are and you probably need to go to the bathroom!" I calmly finished the math class and proceeded to have explosive diarrhea right afterwards.
 
C

ChiTownBuffalo

Either I made up lies about the Boston Bomber or I fell for someone else's crap. Either way, I have absolutely no credibility and you should never pay any attention to anything I say, no matter what the context. Perm me if I claim to be an insider
Alucrid said:
...wat?
Click to expand...

I'm guessing British and referring to South Asians.

Because we all know East Asian cooking smells like ambrosia. This is because the disgusting shit, we tend to eat raw.
 
WorriedCitizen

WorriedCitizen

Member
Alucrid said:
...wat?
Click to expand...

I too have asians living in my house and i swear sometimes when they cook it smells like rotten cheese feet even in my apartement. Don't know what they are cooking there but it must be an aquired taste for them.

When i moved in here i even thought it was my own stinky sweat from my towels.
 
C

Chorazin

Member
In the lobby of a small movie theater in college after an all you can eat wing night, they weren't letting anyone into the seats yet so the tiny lobby was filled with maybe 50, 60 people. I droped a SBD and it was HORRIBLE. It smelled like a charnel house that was right beside a sweage treatment plant. The entire lobby was full of people gagging and wondering who dropped such a foul emission.

Luckily, my friend was giggling like an idiot the whole time and pretty much everyone blamed him. :D
 
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