BE'WARE, Men of the Middle Planes! I am Graybone Buttonpresser, Grand Gamemancer of the Fifth World. Doom has sent me to thy midst, bearing
prophecies and visions of what is to come!
Though my prognostications may seem strange and queer to thy eyes, I swear on the Spirits of Anhur'ath
that they are all true!
Now, let us reflect upon my scrying orb, that we may witness to this terrible new world!
Nintendo will release a new console barely any more powerful than the last.
It will be called Wii and be based on motion controls,
as its controller is a white remote control-like stick! It will be the most popular home console of the generation, and imitators will follow!
A
new X-COM will be made, and it will
be a first-person shooter!
The director of Super Metroid will return to home consoles! The collaboration with Tecmo will result in
a linear, non-exploratory Metroid filled with anime dialogue and arbitrary restrictions!
SSX will become
a dark gritty game, based on survival and extreme mountainsides!
Prey will finally be released in 2006! Its portal mechanics will be underused, and the game itself ultimately forgettable! The
sequel five years later will star a black ops marine type!
Games based on
doing exercise and math problems will become the newest craze!
First-person shooters will evolve into new exciting forms! The style of play
shall be based on hiding behind waist-high obstructions, while
red jam smears your screen and loud obnoxious noises and screen shaking constantly bug you! You will move slower and aim less accurately than ever before, thanks to a system where
you must stick your gun up your noise to auto-aim, and single player will be based on
running through small corridors! Any game not using these conventions is considered outdated!
Duke Nukem Forever will be released!
MORE PROPHECIES SHALL FOLLOW!
