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The universal self-improvement thread |OT| "Gentlemen, we can rebuild him."

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S

SquiddyCracker

Banned
Introducton

The idea is pretty simple.

This thread will provide guides, ranging from novice to advanced, on how to improve your mind, your body, and your spirit, to make it easier for people to become happier and more wholesome human beings. Ideally, everyone interested in participating in this program will put aside at least one hour a day for self-improvement in all three areas, so as to make them more balanced. If you are already doing weight lifting for an example, you might want to look into the novice-guide towards improving your cardio, in addition to the various self-improvement guides related to the Mind and Spirit.

In addition to these guides, there will be a challenge every now and then related to one of these categories, to give you an additional reason to participate in the thread and challenge as well as test your progress.

If you have no interest in any of the guides or the program in this post, you are still more than welcome to join us in this thread for some solidarity and friendly advice for self-improvement covered or not covered by the OP.

Self improvement program

It's easy to throw up a couple of goals, or say that you will exercise and meditate more. What's hard is actually doing it, and truly make it part of your daily habits.
Many people fail these sort of self-improvement programs because they overreach by setting unreachable goals, because of a lack of understanding and plan of how to reach their target, and because they never actually start.

"You don’t try to build a wall. You don’t set out and say, “I’m going to build the biggest, baddest, greatest wall that has ever been built.” You say, “I’m going to lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid.”
You do this every single day, and soon you have a wall."
- Will Smith​

Hate as you may, but Will Smith is delivering some truth bombs in this quote. Now you are free to pick and choose from these guides, and report back to this thread on your progress for recommendations and encouragement - there's nothing wrong with setting out to do things your own way.
For others who also would like to improve themselves - whether it's physically, mentally, or spiritually - but are overwhelmed with information and with no clue of what to do or how to do it - this next part is for you!

The different areas of improvement

One step towards simplifying this self-improvement thread has been to divide up guides an exercises in different categories as well as sub-categories which are sometimes overlapping, because we most likely are already adept in many aspects but need or want to improve in others.
So instead of setting a detailed self-improvement plan that everyone follows rigorously, in this thread you will get more of a bare-bones framework that you fill up with guides of your own choosing depending on your individual need.

Self-improvement made easy guide.v1

Week1
Meditation 1 day
Yoga 1 day
Jogging 3 days (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday)

Week 2
Meditation 2 days
Yoga 2 days
Jogging 3 days (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday)

Week 3
Meditation 3 days
Yoga 3 days
Jogging 3 days (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday)

Week 4
Meditation 4 days
Yoga 4 days
Jogging 3 days (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday)
[One creative art of your own choosing]

Week 5
Meditation 5 days
Yoga 5 days
Jogging 3 days (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday)
[One creative art of your own choosing]

Week 6
Meditation 6 days
Yoga 6 days
Jogging 3 days (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday)
[One creative art of your own choosing]

Week 7
Meditation 7 days
Yoga 7 days
Jogging 3 days (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday)
[One creative art of your own choosing]

Week 8
Meditation 7 days
Yoga 7 days
Jogging 3 days (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday)
[One creative art of your own choosing]
Weightlifting 3 days (Monday, Wednesday, Friday)

Week 9 and plus
Meditation 7 days
Yoga 7 days
Replace jogging with HIIT
[One creative art of your own choosing]
Weightlifting 3 days (Monday, Wednesday, Friday)

Additional information

There's your basic self-improvement program that will make you faster, stronger, more intelligent and more spiritually in touch with yourself. As you will be working out your body pretty hard, you should check in over at the Fitness-thread here on GAF for their great tips on what you should eat if you're working out. As everyone have their own needs, this basic guide might be adapted to better suit you and your lifestyle:

  • If you're already doing yoga or weightlifting, then you're already half-way there and simply start with the remaining activities.
  • If you're interested in loosing weight, then this program should help you in losing your weight but you might also want to look into various types of diets over at the Weightloss-thread.
  • If you have mobility problems, you replace the activity you think you might have a problem with. For cardio, you could swim instead of jogging if you have access to a public pool. For strength, you can check into the Fitness-thread for alternative exercises that are less hard on your joints.
  • If you have a health problem such as a heart condition, check with your physician as to how often you can exercise and adapt the program as per their advice.
  • If you are a follower of an organized religion which have a spiritual component such as prayers, it is still advised that you still meditate unless it goes against your religion or spiritual belief.
Starting from week 8, it is important that you keep doing all your activities so as to not fall off the wagon. The goal here is to make them part of your daily routine, so that missing out once or twice won't jeopardize your new lifestyle. Thus, it's wise to hold off improving on other areas until the ones in the basic guide have been nailed.

Further information

As I've touched upon previously, it can be very hard to keep on track and very, very easy to just give up. Doing the following will help keep your motivation burning and your progress on track:

Paste up your goals where you can see them every day. – Without reminders, you will likely forget about your goals and become easily distracted by other stimuli. So print them out 10, 20 or 30 times and paste them up in the most prominent, visible areas around your house, office, etc.

and

Check in at least once a week. A group helps to hold all its members accountable. This will help you maintain consistency in taking action even when laziness gets the best of you.

Last words

Remember that this whole thread is about you, and making you a happier person. Obsessing over long-term results just creates stress, so don't worry about not being "good" enough at any point in your self-improvement process. Figure out a few things that you truly want to improve in, and make sure you truly understand why you want these things, otherwise you’ll just lose interest.

Good luck everyone, I wish you all everlasting happiness!
 
S

SquiddyCracker

Banned
This post will be updated with the latest guides, to make it easier for you to improve yourself.
Last updated: 05-08-2012

Guides

Guides are either vague instructions, step-by-step instructions, or tasks that will aid you in improving in one or several areas.

GAF guides

Some of the following guides are hosted on NeoGAF and have been put together using either first-hand or third-party information by your fellow forumites.

Non-GAF guides

Guides from all corners of the internet on everything the GAF guides doesn't cover.

Categories


  • Guides are to be ranked as follows for ease of learning:
  • Novice - Assumes no previous knowledge of the subject
  • Intermediate - Assumes completion of novice level guides
  • Advanced - Assumes completion of intermediate and novice level guides. Once you've reached this stage, you've acquired enough skills/improved enough and will simply continue to do the same for your own well-being whether it is your regular gym routine, daily meditation, or charity events.
  • General - Guides that are applicable to all and/or cannot be defined in levels.
______________

Mind
Creativity
Drawing #1 - Novice
Drawing #2 - Novice
Drawing #3 - Novice
Drawing #4 - Novice
Drawing #5 - Novice
Drawing #6 - Novice

Knowledge
Knowledge acquisition - General - Updated

Spirit
Zen meditation - General
Yoga - Novice

Body
An introduction to jogging - Novice
An introduction to HIIT - Intermediate
An introduction to weight-training - Novice
 
S

SteeloDMZ

Banned
This idea is awesome, and I was thinking about doing a similar thread.

I've been trying to improve myself in a lot of areas this year, so I'd definitely keep an eye on it.
 
O

Onemic

Member
Interested. I can understand meditation, but what does yoga or jogging have to do with self improvement in general? Isn't that pretty much the equivalent of 'go to the gym'?
 
S

SquiddyCracker

Banned
onemic said:
Interested. I can understand meditation, but what does yoga or jogging have to do with self improvement in general?
Click to expand...

Self-improvement can be spiritual, mental, as well as physical.
The idea is that you don't focus on one area, but rather try to improve yourself in every aspect - to become a more wholesome person instead of a hyper-specialized individual.

You can be healthy, strong as well as fast; intelligent, and creative at the same time; as well as being spiritually in touch with yourself.
There are benefits from both yoga as well as jogging, and if you can fit in both into your life then you totally should.
 
C

Cubsfan23

Banned
onemic said:
Interested. I can understand meditation, but what does yoga or jogging have to do with self improvement in general? Isn't that pretty much the equivalent of 'go to the gym'?
Click to expand...


yoga has all 3 of mind, body, and spirit. You can argue it's the single best exercise out there.
 
S

SquiddyCracker

Banned
Cubsfan23 said:
yoga has all 3 of mind, body, and spirit. You can argue it's the single best exercise out there.
Click to expand...

Yeah, there's a lot of overlap and multiple benefits with a lot of these exercises and activities. Learning a creative art for an example, such as playing an instrument or drawing, not only gives you a useful skill but also increases manual dexterity as well as creativity.
 
S

SquiddyCracker

Banned
My personal self-improvement plan
  • Yoga
  • Meditation
  • Weight lifting
  • Cardio
  • Writing-skills

I'm doing a variant of the basic program, but participating in the NeoGAF writing thread every week - writing and reviewing short stories in an attempt to improve my writing skills and increase my creativity.
 
S

SquiddyCracker

Banned
An introduction to HIIT - Intermediate

Level: Intermediate
Est. daily time: 12-20 minutes (3 days a week)
Est. completion time: -
Benefits: Reduction of the risk of heart diseases, increased stamina, compatible with heavy weight-lifting

What is HIIT?

HIIT stand for High Intensity Interval Training and it’s basically a form of exercise that alternates periods of high intensity exercise such as sprinting with less intense periods of exercise such as walking. So for example, a HIIT workout routine might have you doing 30 seconds of sprinting, followed by 90 seconds of rest.

You can do HIIT on any cardio machine such as an elliptical, stair master, bike, or rowing machine but HIIT tends to be most effective on the treadmill. You can also do HIIT outside without any equipment if you want.

The 30/90 seconds routine

This is a very straight forward routine in which you perform hard for 30 seconds, and then perform at a much lower insensitivity for 90 seconds. The goal is to get your pulse as high as possible when you're going all out, and then try to get your pulse as low as possible when "resting".

  1. Perform a light warm-up by doing a fast walk/light walk for 3-5 minutes.
  2. Slightly increase the resistance on some machines, and the incline on a treadmill if possible
  3. Amp up the intensity on the treadmill/machine so that you performing an ALL OUT sprint for 30 seconds.
  4. Decrease the intensity so that you’re back to a walking pace. Walk for 90 seconds.
  5. Repeat steps three and four 7-10 times.

Extended reading:

[URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-intensity_interval_training[/URL]
 
S

SquiddyCracker

Banned
An introduction to weight-training - Novice

Level: Novice
Est. daily time: 45-60 minutes (3 days a week)
Est. completion time: -
Benefits: Increased strength, increased bone density, improved joint strength

Foreword

Choose the exercises and rep schemes you feel work the best for your body. Add some of your own exercises if you'd like. And if you're not familiar with all the exercises listed, just use the search engine. When deciding upon what weigh to use, remember that you're supposed to be unable to do one more rep at the end of each set yet still be able to finish all sets - so don't set your goals too high, and instead gradually increase the weight you decide upon.

The upper/lower split program

Workout A
Bench Press - 3 sets of 5
Bent Rows - 3 sets of 5
Overhead Press - 3-4 sets of 8
Barbell Curls - 3-4 sets of 8
(Cardio)

Workout B
Squats - 3 sets of 5
Power Cleans - 5 sets of 3
Deadlifts - 1-2 sets of 5
Dumbbell or Barbell Step Ups - 3 sets of 8

Alternate workouts.

Week 1:
Monday: A
Wednesday: B
Friday: A

Week 2:
Monday: B
Wednesday: A
Friday: B

If you have problems keeping up weight-training with your yoga routines or cardio, you can cut it down to twice a week - B-A week 1 and A-B week 2. Remember to do adequate warm-up before lifting weights and do stretched afterwards.
For more in-depth information, feel free to check out Fitness |OT4| Squat Booty, Summer Cuts, and Super Swoletrophy


Extended reading:

http://www.defrancostraining.com/articles/38-articles/60-westside-for-skinny-bastards-part1.html
 
O

Onemic

Member
SquiddyBiscuit said:
Yeah, there's a lot of overlap and multiple benefits with a lot of these exercises and activities. Learning a creative art for an example, such as playing an instrument or drawing, not only gives you a useful skill but also increases manual dexterity as well as creativity.
Click to expand...

In terms of creative arts I find the problem for me at least, is staying committed to going through the boring bullshit to reach your goal. In my case it's practicing drums daily. It's gotten to the point that I think I'm scared of doing it for whatever reason, whenever the thought of practicing comes up.(time consumption, boring, other fun things to do, etc.) I know doing so will allow me to reach my goal of being able to play anything that comes to mind, but I find myself fearful of having to go through the sacrifice or hard work of practicing to get there.
 
S

SquiddyCracker

Banned
onemic said:
In terms of creative arts I find the problem for me at least, is staying committed to going through the boring bullshit to reach your goal. In my case it's practicing drums daily. It's gotten to the point that I think I'm scared of doing it for whatever reason, whenever the thought of practicing comes up.(time consumption, boring, other fun things to do, etc.)
Click to expand...

I would strongly suggest you don't practice drums daily, overreach and you end up potentially not doing anything at all (which almost sounds like the case for you right now).
It does sound like you have some interest in drumming, so I would suggest you truly try to do just one drumming session each week.

Not at least one, just one.

That way, if you want to drum more, you'll look even more forward towards your one weekly session.
That should be a good enough test of whether or not you truly want to keep up drumming, and over time you can try to increase the number of practice sessions to a manageable amount based on previous experience - so not daily, but maybe 3-4 times a week.
 
C

CrushDance

Banned
I've been doing HIIT for about a year and it never gets easier, haha. Weight lifting, jogging etc are fine and you get used to them after a bit. But HIIT...hits you hard every time. The meditation thing though, do any of you guys find it actually works? It's always seemed so far fetched to me.
 
O

Onemic

Member
SquiddyBiscuit said:
I would strongly suggest you don't practice drums daily, overreach and you end up potentially not doing anything at all (which almost sounds like the case for you right now).
It does sound like you have some interest in drumming, so I would suggest you truly try to do just one drumming session each week.

Not at least one, just one.

That way, if you want to drum more, you'll look even more forward towards your one weekly session.
That should be a good enough test of whether or not you truly want to keep up drumming, and over time you can try to increase the number of practice sessions to a manageable amount based on previous experience - so not daily, but maybe 3-4 times a week.
Click to expand...

hmmm I never heard this type of advice before, I'll try it. I always feel like I need to practice everyday or else there's no point. I think this way might make me more optimistic about drumming and slowly intensify it as I get used to it rather than terrified of having to do it everyday.


subbed
 
S

SquiddyCracker

Banned
CrushDance said:
I've been doing HIIT for about a year and it never gets easier, haha. Weight lifting, jogging etc are fine and you get used to them after a bit. But HIIT...hits you hard every time. The meditation thing though, do any of you guys find it actually works? It's always seemed so far fetched to me.
Click to expand...

Oh, it's scientifically proven to work if that helps.
I'm starting with a daily meditation every night to clear my mind after a day of chaotic thoughts, and will in a couple of weeks time try to get some morning meditation in.
 
Head of Vengarl

Head of Vengarl

Banned
I've recently been getting into a self-improvement kick. I've been reading more and listening to podcasts while I drive. The most difficult thing for me is the physical aspect — I hate traditional exercises (e.g., pushups, pullups, weight lifting) so I have to find alternate ways to work out. I finally found three activities that both build muscle/endurance and don't bore me to death:

Running
Cycling
Paddling (on a surfboard)

I live with my parents, who live 2 miles away from the beach, so I've been taking advantage of it by cycling on the bike path and taking my board out for a ~45 minute paddle. Paddling is a great workout and is more applicable than swimming because it directly improves my surfing ability (stronger paddling means you have an easier time catching waves). There's also a nice trail about a mile away from my parent's house that I run on. The ground is kind of soft, which is supposed to absorb some of the shock on your joints, but after my run earlier this week my knees have been really achey. Maybe it's because the ground is uneven, or that it's a hilly area. Anyway, I'm gonna stick to cycling until the pain goes away.
 
S

spock

Member
Great thread. Self improvement is part of my daily life & has been for years. Personally from my experience many people put their focus on outer change and run into problems or dont stick with a program and then beat themselves up. This can end up being a vicious cycle. What I have found works best is making change internally first if your dealing with lots of resistance or incorporate inner and outer growth simultaneously.

A great book for those wanting to make long term change but having a hard time is called "one small step" the kaizen way. Another great book is called "release your brakes". Also "pyscho cybernetics" can provide some great insight.Change is a process. Most people are living their lives unconsciously running mental programs and thought structures they are not even aware of. A simple way to see this in your self is examine what you did today with last week or last year, etc. We creatures of habit/mental programming/conditioning. Long term change for most requires changing internal programming and cultivating mindfulness/awarness.

A common issue why people face internal resistance is their their existing systems and programs dont want to change. We have biological aspects to us (our lizard brain) that are running on very primitive motivations. That aspect of us wants to be comfortable and likes the status quo. Change creates discomfort and will trigger all sorts of rationalizations, excuses, alternate ideas to avoid that discomfort.

There is so much to say & learn on the subject. I hope this thread goes strong & wish everyone the best.
 
S

SquiddyCracker

Banned
Lifehack has a straight to the point article on how to achieve your goals that I thought I'd share with you all:

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifehack/10-ways-to-achieve-your-goals-quicker.html
  • Make all your dreams real by first identifying and then focusing on specific, tangible targets for what you want.
  • Maintain at least one clearly defined goal for every major interest and role in your life.
  • Set your goals so they are directly aligned with your life’s mission, purpose and passion.
  • Create goals high enough to ignite your spirit and inspire you to take action.
  • Write down all your goals in specific, measurable detail.
  • Absolutely, unconditionally commit to hitting each of your targets.
  • Share your goals with others for mutual accomplishment.
  • Set a whole series of related daily, weekly and long-term goals, complete with starting times and completion dates.
  • Take 10 minutes every day to imagine how terrific it will feel when your goals are actually realized.
  • Take an action step toward the attainment of at least one goal every day.
Click to expand...

Lifehack is a pretty good site in general when it comes to stuff like this, so do check out their other articles as well.
 
R

radioheadrule83

Banned
OK, I'm in. Anyone have any special ways of maintaining routines for this sort of thing?

Any kind of organisational apps? I'm thinking I could just use Google Calendar to set the reminders on my Android phone, but maybe there's something even better out there for this..
 
S

SquiddyCracker

Banned
radioheadrule83 said:
OK, I'm in. Anyone have any special ways of maintaining routines for this sort of thing?

Any kind of organisational apps? I'm thinking I could just use Google Calendar to set the reminders on my Android phone, but maybe there's something even better out there for this..
Click to expand...

The post-it method is really effective.
Just plaster them all over the place with daily reminders such as "Mon/Wed/Fri: Treadmill 20m" or "Practice sword fighting every saturday" as well as motivational post-it notes "You are going to do shit today because you're that awesome".

A Google Calander is fine too.

It also helps if you post your daily routines in this thread, so that others can encourage you to keep it up.
 
Lamel

Lamel

Banned
For all the exercise stuff, look into the Fitness and Weight Loss threads for more specific guidance.

Also a good way to improve oneself is to read books.
 
S

SquiddyCracker

Banned
Knowledge acquisition - General

Level: General
Est. daily time: 30-60 minutes a day (1-5 times a week)
Est. completion time: -
Benefits: Acquisition of new knowledge, improved memory, reduction of age-related brain diseases

What's this all about?

Rather than a guide on how to become more intelligent, this post will help you become more intelligent by directing you to sites and online resources that will enable you to expand your knowledge base. There are many benefits to continuously learning new things, as you are stimulating your brain and reducing the chances of succumbing to neurodegenerate disorders such as Alzheimer's.

Udacity

This particular site offers free computer science classes through Stanford University and is highly recommended if you have an interest in programming or computer science. Their courses range from novice to intermediate, and take place in the form of an interactive online journey towards "graduation".

Khan Academy

This is a much less guided site, but offers over 3,300 videos on everything from arithmetic to physics, finance, and history and hundreds of skills to practice.
Whether you are a novice, or an expert, there is bound to be something for you that will turn those cogs in your head turning.

Coursera

The latest provider of courses, following a more traditional standard with lectures and optional quizzes/mid-terms. Starts in September and looks like it will follow a traditional course layout.

Extended reading

Udacity
Khan Academy
Coursera
 
M

MetalGuardian

Banned
I just wanted to say that this thread is excellent. I've been preparing for some big life changes which I'll be starting very soon, and this thread will be good motivation.

I tried meditating for the first time in years just a few minutes ago, and it didn't go so well :p Still, it's something I've always wanted to have in my life so I'm going to keep at it instead of giving up after two or three tries like I have in the past
 
M

Man

Member
This has been my #1 hobby for the last year, I'm loving it.

Last July I weighed 97.5kg at a height of 165cm, that's BMI at 35.8 (img link). Really obese and practically no hope of spending time with a beautiful woman.
I then started dieting (calorie counting) and by November I was down to 83kg, still fat (I had been doing a not so good job following the program in September/October due to stress).
At that time I by some miracle fell into a short flirt with a fantastic woman and after having been on a dry-spell that had lasted years due to my obesity this changed everything. She practically saved my life and put me on the right track again.
One hour after landing back home from the vacation I was in a gym. I was jetlagged as hell and my heart was still broken having parted with the lady but still I was just super thrilled to actually feel something be it good or bad.

From December I started working out 5-6 days a week. Later that month I also hired a Private Trainer that would aid in the coming months (twice a week). Now, back to the flirt mentioned earlier: I had actually some performance issues in bed (had problems climaxing) when spending time with my woman. It was a terrible/humiliating feeling as she was really active and absolutely stunning (I would objectively to this day rate her a nine or ten). We managed to work things out but clearly something was not right. I guess jerking off with a vice-grip 3-8 times each day during the years of obesity had taken it's toll... Thankfully though someone bumped a thread here on GAF in regards to Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunction and it was a revelation to see my suspicion confirmed and with a clear plan of recovery laid out. In mid January I jumped on this and for three months I did not watch anything sexual nor give myself a release and it fixed everything. Here's a summary: link That was one of the more crazier periods of my life and I achieved so much doing it.

Having a lot of energy I kept working out 5-6 days a week and I'm still doing this today. I would say I mentally switched to loving exercise in January and I'm enjoying it tons now, my favorite hobby. I feel bad if I go a day without it. By February I was down to 69kg and a BMI of 25.3 (img link). I was looking much better. Today I'm still hovering around that weight but I'm pretty well muscled now (img link) and in September I will stop 'building' and cut down a few more kilos achieving my optimal look. In the month of March I also fixed my teeth as during the years of obesity I had been drinking liters of soda every day and my three front-teeth (upper) had lost their outer protection and the surface curve was actually going inwards. I got new crowns (totally naturally looking with gradient/transparent color etc) and I have been receiving compliments on my smile ever since. This has been a *huge* lift to my self-conscious. Worth every cent.
Also coming out of the 'dark years' I am now making sure to groom all parts of my body and in general dress nicely.

At the end of March I quit my job and started up as a consultant privately. I migrated to a different country (Australia) and I'm doing client work from home and I've had flirts with a handful of women in these last few months and I'm currently looking to land myself a proper partner. Besides continuing my workout routine my current goal is to improve my social skills even further and to up my 'game'. I have in the last couple of weeks read a couple of books on pickup-artistry and while I don't condone the clinical/planned/shady aspects of it I still feel there's good stuff to be learnt from it (presentation, how to take compliments, how to make people feel comfortable and have fun etc) so that is my current focus.

tl;dr :
#1 Started dieting, eating healthy.
#2 Started exercising a lot, hired a PT.
#3 Learned to not chase masturbation like a drug.
#4 Got my teeth fixed, smile a lot.
#5 Started my own business, have a mobile office, migrated to new country.
#6 Keeping my body groomed, dress nicely.
#7 Improving social skills, landing optimal look. Live life.
 
M

MetalGuardian

Banned
I figure I may as well go into specifics as to what I'm doing to make positive changes

First, I'm starting Weight Watchers tomorrow. I lost fifty pounds on a low carb diet a couple years ago, but gained it all back (plus an additional twenty!) when I went off of it. I'm convinced Weight Watchers is the way to go for me at this point... I need both structure, and the additional motivation I'll get from knowing I'm paying money to participate.

I also started a weight lifting routine with my friend. I've only done one week so far, but after not having lifted in 3+ years I'm proud for even doing the full routine this week. I feel great after every workout too, like I've actually accomplished something worthwhile.

Once the semester begins, I'm going to be hitting up the Rec center on campus at least three times a week for cardio. Until then I'm going to go on at least two bike rides a week.

Finally, I'm really interested in meditation, and have been for years. I tried it twice today (using the Zen guide linked in this thread). The first time I didn't really feel like it did anything, but the second time was awesome. Towards the end I was feeling so relaxed and peaceful, as well as focused on the goals I want to achieve. I'm going to try to do 15 minutes a day, five days a week to start out.

Once I finished meditating I wanted to listen to music, but alas... my library is almost all metal! I was craving something both musically interesting, but also something calm and serene. Does anybody have suggestions on that front? I'm not familiar with much music outside of my lovely home of metal.
spock said:
A great book for those wanting to make long term change but having a hard time is called "one small step" the kaizen way. Another great book is called "release your brakes". Also "pyscho cybernetics" can provide some great insight.
Click to expand...
Could you explain a little about these books? I haven't heard of any of them, but I think a book might be a good way to both educate and motivate me since I'm trying to make legitimate, big life changes.

EDIT: Also, congrats Man. That's a wonderful and inspiring story.
 
S

SquiddyCracker

Banned
Man said:
story
Click to expand...

Great story, I'm glad you've put yourself on track already. It sounds like you've done well when it comes to the superficial, but (and I hope you don't mind me saying this) I think that the best way of increasing your self-confidence is by not focusing on it.
Doing completely other things instead, such as learning a new skill, meeting new people just as you are doing, and just getting to know yourself better - are all things that will inevitably contribute to an increased self-confidence without you maybe even realizing.

Regardless, you just keep up the good work - this is your new life, so enjoy it!

MetalGuardian said:
story
Click to expand...

The best way to make positive changes is to incorporate positive activities into your daily routine - and it looks like you got that figured out.
Relaxing music wise, I'm a fan of classic music of pretty much any composer - just hit the youtube for Bach, Vivaldi, etc.

When it comes to starting out meditation, I suggest you don't try to do it that often starting out - as you might miss one or two meditation occasions and end up feeling bummed out and quit the whole thing. You're better off undershooting, and being left wanting more mediation the following week - which you can then schedule in.

Another site I reccomend is http://www.ehow.com/

For learning creative and other skills that will help you turn yourself into a happier, better person.
 
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spacerumsfield

Banned
1. A philosophical question: What exactly do you think spirituality is, and what is referred to by spiritual concepts that isn't already encompassed by mental concepts? It seems doubtful there is room for such phenomena in a properly scientific worldview. Spirit talk is nice for metaphors but there doesn't seem to be anything real it could plausibly refer to.

2. I don't want to get into an endless argument about workout regimes, but deadlifts and squats are probably the two most taxing exercises out there, and lumping them into the same workout seems like a terrible idea. Either your nervous system is going to get overtaxed and you'll burn out or you won't be able to put full effort into both exercises. I would imagine 3 workouts a week with one including squats and the other deadlifts is a much better idea.

3. For improving one's cognitive ability (well, a specific sort of cognitive ability anyway: working memory) I recommend the n-back test. It has legitimate research (http://www.gwern.net/docs/2010-jaeggi.pdf) demonstrating its efficacy and is free to play at http://cognitivefun.net/test/4 (among other places).
 
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SquiddyCracker

Banned
spacerumsfield said:
1. A philosophical question: What exactly do you think spirituality is, and what is referred to by spiritual concepts that isn't already encompassed by mental concepts? It seems doubtful there is room for such phenomena in a properly scientific worldview. Spirit talk is nice for metaphors but there doesn't seem to be anything real it could plausibly refer to.

2. I don't want to get into an endless argument about workout regimes, but deadlifts and squats are probably the two most taxing exercises out there, and lumping them into the same workout seems like a terrible idea. Either your nervous system is going to get overtaxed and you'll burn out or you won't be able to put full effort into both exercises. I would imagine 3 workouts a week with one including squats and the other deadlifts is a much better idea.

3. For improving one's cognitive ability (well, a specific sort of cognitive ability anyway: working memory) I recommend the n-back test. It has legitimate research (http://www.gwern.net/docs/2010-jaeggi.pdf) demonstrating its efficacy and is free to play at http://cognitivefun.net/test/4 (among other places).
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1. Quite frankly, it's just a sub-set of mental area of skills and strengths, the only reason I posted it as a category of its own was merely to give the whole thing a bit of flair( "Mind-Body-Spirit" sounds more thorough than just "Mind-Body")

2. The exercise is a basic beginners program adapted from the Fitness thread. I'm not at all an expert on these things, so I have recommended people go and check that thread out if they're interested in improving their physical strength and/or appearance and provided the link to that thread.

3. Thanks, I'll add that to the OP.
 
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SquiddyCracker

Banned
Sadsic said:
what do i do if i live in an inner city and dont have space / ability to jog
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If you got access to a local gym you could jog on the treadmill or use any of their aerobic machines.
Or you simply don't, and just take long walks, or chose to use the stairs instead of the lift - it's all about doing whatever is within your reach.
 
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Man

Member
SquiddyBiscuit said:
Great story, I'm glad you've put yourself on track already. It sounds like you've done well when it comes to the superficial, but (and I hope you don't mind me saying this) I think that the best way of increasing your self-confidence is by not focusing on it.
Doing completely other things instead, such as learning a new skill, meeting new people just as you are doing, and just getting to know yourself better - are all things that will inevitably contribute to an increased self-confidence without you maybe even realizing.
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Thanks for the good advice. I have been going out by myself these last couple of months (whenever friends have stayed at home that is) and it's becoming easier and easier each time, was totally out of my comfort zone to begin with. I don't fear the dance floor at all (usually one of the first to push for it) and have made several new friends and last night a pretty lady I snuggled with agreed to hang out later in the week.
 
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Bombadil

Banned
I'm all about self-improvement. But I'm a ways off from meditating regularly. I've been told by a psychology professor that it takes years of practice to ultimately benefit from meditating.

But I am all about this thread. I just ordered a barbell from amazon so I can do exercises in the comfort of my home instead of at the downstairs gym/rap center.

I'm also trying to change my physical appearance in other ways to elevate my self-esteem and finally meet my idealized image of myself. It's a big problem for many people. They don't look the way they think they ought to.
 
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SquiddyCracker

Banned
Man said:
Thanks for the good advice. I have been going out by myself these last couple of months (whenever friends have stayed at home that is) and it's becoming easier and easier each time, was totally out of my comfort zone to begin with. I don't fear the dance floor at all (usually one of the first to push for it) and have made several new friends and last night a pretty lady I snuggled with agreed to hang out later in the week.
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Great stuff!

Bombadil said:
I'm all about self-improvement. But I'm a ways off from meditating regularly. I've been told by a psychology professor that it takes years of practice to ultimately benefit from meditating.

But I am all about this thread. I just ordered a barbell from amazon so I can do exercises in the comfort of my home instead of at the downstairs gym/rap center.

I'm also trying to change my physical appearance in other ways to elevate my self-esteem and finally meet my idealized image of myself. It's a big problem for many people. They don't look the way they think they ought to.
Click to expand...

Meditation does have some really nifty benefits, so it is worth it to incorporate it into your daily routine.
 
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Bam Bam Baklava

Member
This thread is like some kind of mashup. It's like Manshion, Dating-age, Weight-Loss, and Fitness threads combined.

I don't think there is a universal guide to self improvement but people can pick and choose from the ideas offered here.
 
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SquiddyCracker

Banned
MiDNiGHTS said:
This thread is like some kind of mashup. It's like Manshion, Dating-age, Weight-Loss, and Fitness threads combined.

I don't think there is a universal guide to self improvement but people can pick and choose from the ideas offered here.
Click to expand...

Pretty much.
The only new thing this thread offers is meditation, yoga, and some intelligence focused means of improving oneself.
I think it is important to try to improve oneself in as many areas as possible, so you don't end up as a stereotypical knucklehead or asthmatic intellectual.
 
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SquiddyCracker

Banned
I've updated the knowledge acquisition guide, added the following online course site:

https://www.coursera.org/

Personal update

I'm currently finishing Udacity computer courses at the rate of about one unit per week. I could probably work through it a lot quicker, but as I'm doing this for the sake of knowledge itself I'm trying to commit it to my long-term memory instead of just pushing it into my head and forgetting all about it after exams :p

Exercise wise I'm doing alright, and next week I shall up my number of meditations as per plans.
 
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xXBetter Off DadXx

Member
Don't have much to say except that I think this thread is a great idea and commend anyone who has contributed so far.

Edit: I will say that the bit about starting out small i.e. the quote in the OP by Will Smith, has in my experience, been absolutely true. I had a long run of brick building, but have since neglected the wall and it's mostly scattered bricks now. Looking forward to building it back up and even higher then before!
 
O

Onemic

Member
Now that I'm done school I really want to
/have to
get focused on this. I guess I'll get started with setting my goals. In terms of my body I'm already going to the gym to lift weights, so I guess it's just maintaining consistency and getting myself on the bike after every workout.
 
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SquiddyCracker

Banned
onemic said:
Now that I'm done school I really want to
/have to
get focused on this. I guess I'll get started with setting my goals. In terms of my body I'm already going to the gym to lift weights, so I guess it's just maintaining consistency and getting myself on the bike after every workout.
Click to expand...

Yeah, it's all about starting out small, and making sure that you don't overburden yourself and give up everything. We are comfort creatures by nature, we don't like changing our routines (especially when they are hard) so we have to take things slowly, to ensure that our new activities become part of the routine - and continue to do so.

To avoid the danger of stagnation, you have to always get out of your comfort zone - even if you're just pushing yourself a little bit more each time.

Anyone who haven't already seen this video needs to do so:

Arnold's Motivational Speech
 
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