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NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge #129 - "Breakdown"

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multivac

Member
Theme: Breakdown

Word Limit: 2000

Submission Deadline: Friday, September 20, by 11:59 p.m. Pacific

Voting begins Saturday, September 21, and goes until Monday, September 23 at 11:59 PM Pacific.


Optional Secondary Objective: Loglines
A logline is a brief synopsis of your story most commonly intended to hook a potential reader. But more importantly for our purposes, a logline is a fantastic way to give your story form and to keep your writing on point.

So for this challenge, before/during/or after brainstorming, come up with a logline and paste it near your monitor as you write to keep your story on track.

Now, let's compare the execution of your story to your intentions! Once you're done writing, include the logline when you post the link to your story so that we can all see the results! Alternatively, include the logline at the end of your story. The logline should NOT count toward your word limit if you decide to post it at the beginning or end of your PDF instead.

Here is an article if you're not familiar with loglines: http://www.archetypewriting.com/articles/QTers/logline_MM.htm


Submission Guidelines:

- One entry per poster.
- All submissions must be written during the time of the challenge.
- Using the topic as the title of your piece is discouraged.
- Keep to the word count!

Voting Guidelines:

- Three votes per voter. Please denote in your voting your 1st (3 pts), 2nd (2 pts), and 3rd (1 pt) place votes.
- Please read all submissions before voting.
- You must vote in order to be eligible to win the challenge.
- When voting ends, the winner gets a collective pat on the back, and starts the new challenge.

NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge FAQ
Previous Challenge Threads and Themes
 

Nezumi

Member
Hmm. So this challenge everyone will be able to see how little my stories have to do with my actual ideas... but the good part is that this might actually force me to think of an ending before I start writing.
 
Huh, that's an interesting secondary objective.
I got a couple of ideas that could work with the primary, but that's something future-me will have to deal with.
 
An out of control nanite swarm devours the world at a much slower rate than anyone had expected. The woman responsible for unleashing the nanites tries to engineer a solution, as civilization breaks down.

A member of the Dugum Dani experiences mental breakdown upon losing his brother in tribal warfare. The battle won, the other tribe defeated, he sets out to seek the wisdom of his ancestors.

The first encounter with an intelligent space-faring species does not end well for the visitors. Who would have thought that their minds would be more fragile than a human one?

...

D) None of the above.
 

Esiquio

Member
An out of control nanite swarm devours the world at a much slower rate than anyone had expected. The woman responsible for unleashing the nanites tries to engineer a solution, as civilization breaks down.

A member of the Dugum Dani experiences mental breakdown upon losing his brother in tribal warfare. The battle won, the other tribe defeated, he sets out to seek the wisdom of his ancestors.

The first encounter with an intelligent space-faring species does not end well for the visitors. Who would have thought that their minds would be more fragile than a human one?

...

D) None of the above.

Those are all interesting ideas. Because I'm partial to sci-fi, I'd like to see you try your hand at the third one.

Great topic idea, will definitely start brainstorming as soon as I'm done with some edits and submitting a poem for this weeks challenge.
 

Cyan

Banned
Those are all interesting ideas. Because I'm partial to sci-fi, I'd like to see you try your hand at the third one.

Nooooo don't encourage him! :p Although I guess he also did a fantasy one recently.

My prediction for Squiddy's actual story: the Singularity starts, but breaks down halfway through.
 
Nooooo don't encourage him! :p Although I guess he also did a fantasy one recently.

My prediction for Squiddy's actual story: the Singularity starts, but breaks down halfway through
.

Damn you!
I'm pretty sure I've already done something along those lines though :p

But, I'm feeling like fantasy right now.

Our Empress eternal

The Empress of Aisur, known by as many names as stars in the sky, has protected and guided her subjects for thousands of years. Death seeks to deprive the Empire of its leader, as it faces its greatest threat yet. A young handmaiden has been chosen to listen to the Empress parting words - her final advice to her people.
 

Gattsu25

Banned
I decided against posting in the last challenge because it would have been a rushed story.

Will work on several one sentence story ideas tonight.
 

Tangent

Member
Yay! I can post again after several dozen times of trying! Congrats multivac, and on that close 2nd Pau and Cyan. Pau, awesome that the last challenge was your first submission too. Ooooooh I really like the secondary. Though I am tangential (badam ching!), so this will be an interesting exercise for me.
 

Pau

Member
Yay! I can post again after several dozen times of trying! Congrats multivac, and on that close 2nd Pau and Cyan. Pau, awesome that the last challenge was your first submission too. Ooooooh I really like the secondary. Though I am tangential (badam ching!), so this will be an interesting exercise for me.
Thank you! :D

I think I managed to think of a concept for the story. Now I just need a plot to move it along. That's always the toughest part of writing fiction for me.

Also just realized the submission deadline is on my birthday. :3
 

Unicorn

Member
Thank you! :D

I think I managed to think of a concept for the story. Now I just need a plot to move it along. That's always the toughest part of writing fiction for me.

Also just realized the submission deadline is on my birthday. :3

Day before mine :)
 
Got a few ideas, but I dunno. I feel like I peaked years ago as words just fail me lately. Haven't written a coherent finished work in 4 or 5 years. And my writing always throws so dark, eh.

Fuck it, might give it a shot anyways. I need a good, thorough critique to clear off the cobwebs in my writing style.
 

Ashes

Banned
Hmm. So this challenge everyone will be able to see how little my stories have to do with my actual ideas... but the good part is that this might actually force me to think of an ending before I start writing.

For your way of writing, maybe it is a good idea to wait till it ends. Then whatever log line you come up with, you can embellish on a second draft.

"What is this story about?" is a great question.
 

Pau

Member
Got a few ideas, but I dunno. I feel like I peaked years ago as words just fail me lately. Haven't written a coherent finished work in 4 or 5 years. And my writing always throws so dark, eh.

Fuck it, might give it a shot anyways. I need a good, thorough critique to clear off the cobwebs in my writing style.
Go for it! I hadn't written fiction for about three years, and definitely nothing finished for longer than that. The relatively low word count, the focus given by the theme, and having made a commitment in front of others all help. It might be what you need to get back into the groove of things. :)
 

Mike M

Nick N
Am I ever having trouble focusing on this one, I've got too much other stuff clogging up the creative process cycles of my brain that I need to get out... I really don't want to skip out on another one, as I've had a pretty good track record of participating in every one this year except for the last, and I don't want to fall off the wagon...
 

John Dunbar

correct about everything
i actually wrote something for the last challenge but circumstances prevented me from participating. generally i've been having a bit of a writer's block recently, but i'll try to do something again.

and i am also one of those whose birthday is within a day of the deadline. how depressing.
 

John Dunbar

correct about everything
thanks, will keep that in mind. apparently having a guy on the inside isn't enough to get some protection around here.

you was my brother, cyan, you shoulda looked out for me a little bit.
 
Go for it! I hadn't written fiction for about three years, and definitely nothing finished for longer than that. The relatively low word count, the focus given by the theme, and having made a commitment in front of others all help. It might be what you need to get back into the groove of things. :)
Thanks for the words of encouragement. It's greatly appreciated, believe me. :)

Here's my log line, I guess.

When an act of random violence occurs, the shattered life left behind begins a decent into hedonistic madness. Confronted with injustice, a blood lust grows until the inevitable confrontation begs the question "What is the heart of man?"
 
My logline/idea germ that I'm posting now:

A story that explores the breakdown of a word, a controversial idea, and the gray area between the black and white arguments. OH SO VAGUE. I'd fail in Hollywood.
 

John Dunbar

correct about everything
look at that, it's only sunday and i finished a first draft. 2,400 words, though. ugh, already tried to do a lot of cutting and used short cuts while writing it.

anyway, here's the logline, if anyone cares:

When the words of a mad prophet plunge the world into disarray, one man goes on a quest to understand, only to grow more confused.
 
Speaking of loglines and descriptions and all, I just came across this:

Epic story of a mysterious stranger with a harmonica who joins forces with a notorious desperado to protect a beautiful widow from a ruthless assassin working for the railroad.

It sounds terrible, right? Adjective explosion! But it's Once Upon a Time in the West.
 

Mike M

Nick N
I'm doing a sequel to something I wrote earlier. Or at least something in the same continuity.

With fewer monkeys
 
I'm doing a sequel to something I wrote earlier. Or at least something in the same continuity.

With fewer monkeys

image.php
 
Don't you just hate it when your dream self comes up with an amazing idea that you forget?

Damn me!

EDIT: Aaaand making this post made me remember it again:
When an unexpected cascade of cosmic particles wash over a deep space exploration vessel, the human crew soon discover just how terrible of an idea it was to program the Three laws of Robotics into their resident android.
 
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