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Jack Remington · Jan 4, 2014

We've all seen this:

It can be even more of an issue in gym shorts.

Along with sensitivity, this is one of the few advantages that anteater-GAF gets to make up for their god-awful aesthetic quality of their units.

What's to be done about it? Briefs might smooth out the contours a bit more, but you run the risk of decreased sperm count and skidmarks.

A codpiece would certainly eliminate the problem, but might create problems of its own.

Would thicker pants work? Or some kind of frontal insert? What do you guys do?

RatskyWatsky · Jan 4, 2014

Your image is of an exceptionally poor quality, so I can't really see what you're talking about.

Poyunch · Jan 4, 2014

Put a fedora on it.

Stet · Jan 4, 2014

Tuck it between your legs like Lois Einhorn.

EightBitNate · Jan 4, 2014

RatskyWatsky said:
Your image is of an exceptionally poor quality, so I can't really see what you're talking about.

I think he's talking about seeing underwear lines through pants

And if that's the case, is that really a problem, OP?

Kyne · Jan 4, 2014

I thought we were talking about bulges? Clarification please.

Oreoleo · Jan 4, 2014

RatskyWatsky said:
Your image is of an exceptionally poor quality, so I can't really see what you're talking about.

EightBitNate said:
I think he's talking about seeing underwear lines through pants

And if that's the case, is that really a problem, OP?

Glans is a word for penis you guys. smh

BertramCooper · Jan 4, 2014

EightBitNate said:
I think he's talking about seeing underwear lines through pants

And if that's the case, is that really a problem, OP?

Nah, I think he's talking about popping a pants tent.

dejay · Jan 4, 2014

I don't really have any strong opinions on the subject.

Clydefrog · Jan 4, 2014

Jack Remington said:

Looks like he stuffed a kiwi bird down his trousers.

terrisus · Jan 4, 2014

3-legged pants.

Drazgul · Jan 4, 2014

Oreoleo said:
Glans is a word for penis you guys. smh

Part of the penis. The head, to be exact.

NewFresh · Jan 4, 2014

Kyne · Jan 4, 2014

I'm a grower, so I usually never have the problem. When things do take an unexpected turn I face it horizontally.

RatskyWatsky · Jan 4, 2014

I know what a glans is - I just can't see one in the image he provided.

Avixph · Jan 4, 2014

Jack Remington said:
What's to be done about it? Briefs might smooth out the contours a bit more, but you run the risk of decreased sperm count and skidmarks.

A codpiece would certainly eliminate the problem, but might create problems of its own.

Would thicker pants work? Or some kind of frontal insert? What do you guys do?

You won't get skid marks on your underwear if you wipe your ass property.

Lamel · Jan 4, 2014

I mean, underpants take care of that dude...

BFIB · Jan 4, 2014

Usually I just take out the rolled up pair of socks.

terrisus · Jan 4, 2014

Avixph said:
You won't get skid marks on your underwear if you wipe your ass property.

Also, this. I suppose it's more of a topic deserving of its own thread, but anyone with "skid marks" only has themself to blame. That shit's gross.

freenudemacusers · Jan 4, 2014

you can thank me later

GavinGT · Jan 4, 2014

Why would you not want your schlong to be visible? You mean if you're visiting your grandmother or something?

RatskyWatsky · Jan 4, 2014

freenudemacusers said:
you can thank me later

What is this and how do I get one?

Ninja Scooter · Jan 4, 2014

dragonlife · Jan 4, 2014

I was confused by the OP because I kept reading it as "gains" and thought it was a FitnessGAF thread in the making.

Aylinato · Jan 4, 2014

Most pants, I find, aren't really designed to hide that area. I have to go up a waist size or two just to not be giving everyone a show. I find it irritating as it's harder to find good jeans that fit because of it.

MIMIC · Jan 4, 2014

Jack Remington said:
We've all seen this:

You can see his fucking phone. @_@ Might want to start with looser-fitting pants.

Atramental · Jan 4, 2014

I know that bulge.

Oreoleo · Jan 4, 2014

Drazgul said:
Part of the penis. The head, to be exact.

I know. Figured I'd start slow with these bozos. "A penis has different parts??!" I can only expose myself to so much ignorance at once.

Dr_Boris_Goltz · Jan 4, 2014

Jesus fucking christ if you have to worry about skidmarks that means you're not wiping your ass properly!

I KNOW everyone who only uses toilet paper (the majority) are walking around with shitty asses and it grosses me out.

Also just side pipe your shlong and if people want to look let them look.

freenudemacusers · Jan 4, 2014

Atramental said:
I know that bulge.

wait

omg

how

Drazgul · Jan 4, 2014

Oreoleo said:
I know. Figured I'd start slow with these bozos. "A penis has different parts??!" I can only expose myself to so much ignorance at once.

Figured as much, but I'd never turn down the chance to be an annoying little besserwisser!

Sub_Level · Jan 4, 2014

Dante Must Die mode: take your dick and trap it between your lower stomach skin and your tight, tight underwear.

Feel the pain.

Hurts but is the most effective solution when it comes to going incognito.

Atramental · Jan 4, 2014

freenudemacusers said:
wait

omg

how

I just do, okay!

Jeeze.

criesofthepast · Jan 4, 2014

Ninja Scooter said:

He is a shower. I'd say that's no more than 5 inches there max. If he's one of those showers that grow absolutely nothing but just get hard when erect then lol small dick mine is bigger than Donald Draper

IHaveCandy · Jan 4, 2014

terrisus said:
Also, this. I suppose it's more of a topic deserving of its own thread, but anyone with "skid marks" only has themself to blame. That shit's gross.

Hairy asses don't make that easy. What is a man to do after taking a big dump and not equipped with anything but cheap single ply toilet paper at the mall bathroom?

terrisus · Jan 4, 2014

IHaveCandy said:
Hairy asses don't make that easy. What is a man to do after taking a big dump and not equipped with anything but cheap single ply toilet paper at the mall bathroom?

Use a whole bunch of it.
Don't stop wiping until it's all gone.

If you have to use the whole roll, who cares, you're not directly paying for it anyway.

RatskyWatsky · Jan 4, 2014

criesofthepast said:
He is a shower. I'd say that's no more than 5 inches there max. If he's one of those showers that grow absolutely nothing but just get hard when erect then lol small dick mine is bigger than Donald Draper

are you okay

XANDER CAGE · Jan 4, 2014

criesofthepast said:
He is a shower. I'd say that's no more than 5 inches there max. If he's one of those showers that grow absolutely nothing but just get hard when erect then lol small dick mine is bigger than Donald Draper

sounds like you're jealous of Jon's Hamm.

freenudemacusers · Jan 4, 2014

Atramental said:
I just do, okay!

Jeeze.

no, I mean I recognize it too

Atramental · Jan 4, 2014

Anung · Jan 4, 2014

freenudemacusers said:
you can thank me later

JESUS CHRIST JOEL.

Ninja Scooter · Jan 4, 2014

criesofthepast said:
He is a shower. I'd say that's no more than 5 inches there max. If he's one of those showers that grow absolutely nothing but just get hard when erect then lol small dick mine is bigger than Donald Draper

I know for a FACT you are wrong.

Sub_Level · Jan 4, 2014

IHaveCandy said:
Hairy asses don't make that easy. What is a man to do after taking a big dump and not equipped with anything but cheap single ply toilet paper at the mall bathroom?

Indeed. It's a problem that demands a deeper understanding from the more fortunate. Unfortunately, such compassion is lacking. Outcasts like ourselves will always relegated to wiping in the 30+ times quantity. There's been times where I've taken the shower head to full throttle at point blank range only to check-wipe afterwards and still find residual shit on the paper. I don't know if heaven exists but I imagine such a place features some sort of omnipotent bidet. Imagine a world where you can do your business and immediately wipe the slate clean, no questions asked. These thoughts bring warmth in the darkest of times.

blame space · Jan 4, 2014

i fucking wip it out.. what is it with the easy questions tonight??

Extra Sauce · Jan 4, 2014

Fun fact: "Gland" is the french word for acorn.

Did I just ruin acorns for everyone?

Avixph · Jan 4, 2014

Sub_Level said:
Indeed. It's a problem that demands a deeper understanding from the more fortunate. Unfortunately, such compassion is lacking. Outcasts like ourselves will always relegated to wiping in the 30+ times quantity. There's been times where I've taken the shower head to full throttle at point blank range only to check-wipe afterwards and still find residual shit on the paper. I don't know if heaven exists but I imagine such a place features some sort of omnipotent bidet. Imagine a world where you can do your business and immediately wipe the slate clean, no questions asked. These thoughts bring warmth in the darkest of times.

Why don't you just buy baby wipes?

freenudemacusers · Jan 4, 2014

xtrasauce said:
Fun fact: "Gland" is the french word for acorn.

Did I just ruin acorns for everyone?

great now I have to cut acorns out of my diet

IHaveCandy · Jan 4, 2014

terrisus said:
Use a whole bunch of it.
Don't stop wiping until it's all gone.

If you have to use the whole roll, who cares, you're not directly paying for it anyway.

What if you're wiping for so long that you are starting to see a slightly reddish hue on the toilet paper? That cheap tp can really burn.

Sub_Level · Jan 4, 2014

Avixph said:
Why don't you just buy baby wipes?

Clogs the toilet easier.

Avixph · Jan 4, 2014

Sub_Level said:
Clogs the toilet easier.

Flushable ones are made.

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