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Coins · May 7, 2014

So my wife and I were talking about masturbation when she boldly claimed she could get the job done faster than me. She trash talked for awhile about how a woman can push that button way quicker when the purpose was to just get off as fast as possible.

I figured she was right because she's easy to make orgasm and if it's easy for me I was sure she could beat me.

But I challenged her anyway... and I won! By mere seconds!

I immediately jumped up and cut a WWE style promo on how I'm the inaugural, undisputed masturbation champ but then she said that she challenges me to a two out of three match.

:-(

Vaginas are just unfair.

Anyway people, challenge your significant other to a contest tonight! Become a champion!

depths20XX · May 7, 2014

I ain't no cum chump.

Anoregon · May 7, 2014

depths20XX said:
I ain't no cum chump.

God damn I love that meme

AkuMifune · May 7, 2014

Meanwhile sparky out back is the secret champ.

Switch Back 9 · May 7, 2014

While I don't doubt that some women can make themselves climax pretty quickly, I've rubbed out some pretty snappy danger-wanks in my day. No way a chick could beat that.

TheWarrior · May 7, 2014

Congrats on the sex

with yourself

Overdoziz · May 7, 2014

Ferrio · May 7, 2014

So did she have to eat the biscuit?

Sneds · May 7, 2014

But would you have won if your sister was in the room? Thought not. EightBitNate remains the champ.

I wonder if EightBitNate does the same thing with his sister.

strafer · May 7, 2014

Overdoziz said:

DAAAAAAAAAAMMIT

I WAS ABOUT TO PISS THIS

Alchemy · May 7, 2014

Challenge her to see who can orgasm the furthest.

Chance Hale · May 7, 2014

Reminds me of that scene from Kinsey, can't find the clip though.

User 100115 · May 7, 2014

Some women are different, but for me it takes so long and so much effort it's usually not worth it.

Always been jealous of the ability to just bang one out in the shower.

Majine · May 7, 2014

Coins said:
but then she said that she challenges me to a two out of three match.

That's not how this works, baby.

Thatonemoor · May 7, 2014

Ekdrm2d1 · May 7, 2014

Great thread.

Pulls up chair

Saint Gregory · May 7, 2014

TheWarrior said:
Congrats on the sex

with yourself

Hey, they were clearly doing the challenge back to back... or front to front. Either way it works.

Brakke · May 7, 2014

Thought this thread was going to be a mess, is actually sort of sweet. Good work, OP, we're all proud of you.

perfectchaos007 · May 7, 2014

Fiction said:
Some women are different, but for me it takes so long and so much effort it's usually not worth it.

Always been jealous of the ability to just bang one out in the shower.

You need to demo different shower heads to find out which one works best for you. Ask a female employee to assist you the next time you're shopping for one at Home Depot

Luis_23 · May 7, 2014

Brakke said:
mess.

Hmmmm.....

PaulExcellent · May 7, 2014

i dont even know why i come to the ot anymore

Spring-Loaded · May 7, 2014

PaulExcellent said:
i dont even know why i come to the ot anymore

yeah you do.

DoktorEvil · May 7, 2014

So its a competition where everyone wins?

FortuneFaded · May 7, 2014

I'm proud of you.

Gorillaz · May 7, 2014

Where is that gif of the spidey avatar watching porn and the waves hitting the other spidey avatar

it feels appropriate

pants · May 7, 2014

Coins said:
So my wife and I were talking about masturbation when she boldly claimed she could get the job done faster than me. She trash talked for awhile about how a woman can push that button way quicker when the purpose was to just get off as fast as possible.

I figured she was right because she's easy to make orgasm and if it's easy for me I was sure she could beat me.

But I challenged her anyway... and I won! By mere seconds!

I immediately jumped up and cut a WWE style promo on how I'm the inaugural, undisputed masturbation champ but then she said that she challenges me to a two out of three match.

:-(

Vaginas are just unfair.

Anyway people, challenge your significant other to a contest tonight! Become a champion!

wenis · May 7, 2014

Coins said:
I immediately jumped up and cut a WWE style promo on how I'm the inaugural, undisputed masturbation champ but then she said that she challenges me to a two out of three match.

so i take it there is no resting period allowed?

Mistel · May 7, 2014

Sneds said:
I wonder if EightBitNate does the same thing with his sister.

He finishes first probably.

Why would you want to be the fastest to orgasm?

hgarrett54 · May 7, 2014

What's a significant other? Is that a new dating Sim game for the 3DS

perfectchaos007 · May 7, 2014

Stormtrooper said:
He finishes first probably.

Why would you want to be the fastest to orgasm?

I think the goal here is to have the largest range in orgasm time. Its optimal to be able to go as long as 3 hours before orgasm, but as quick as 10 seconds. That way you're versatile for any situation.

Mistel · May 7, 2014

hgarrett54 said:
What's a significant other? Is that a new dating Sim game for the 3DS

Another word for partner.

DoktorEvil · May 7, 2014

Gorillaz said:
Where is that gif of the spidey avatar watching porn and the waves hitting the other spidey avatar

it feels appropriate

-COOLIO- · May 7, 2014

should be an olympic sport.

Lowmelody · May 7, 2014

Goddamn this thread is seriously hotttttttt

User 100115 · May 7, 2014

perfectchaos007 said:
You need to demo different shower heads to find out which one works best for you. Ask a female employee to assist you the next time you're shopping for one at Home Depot

I'm of the type that has to be laying down. Shower heads feel great and all, but in the end it's just frustrating.

Borgnine · May 7, 2014

But she faked it just like every other time.

Kinitari · May 7, 2014

Inaugural? Is it going to be like a yearly competition or something? How do you train for that?

Jackpot · May 7, 2014

Good show.

SJRB · May 7, 2014

Kinitari said:
Inaugural? Is it going to be like a yearly competition or something? How do you train for that?

Daily.

Mesoian · May 7, 2014

Overdoziz said:

Ah man.

This is going to get a lot of use next month

kehs · May 7, 2014

She totally played you into that two our three challenge.

God damn,

hgarrett54 · May 7, 2014

Stormtrooper said:
Another word for partner.

Is that a new console? Where can I buy one? Does it have a faster GPU than the PS4?

-COOLIO- · May 7, 2014

Kinitari said:
Inaugural? Is it going to be like a yearly competition or something? How do you train for that?

if it's yearly then id like to sign up for email notification on ticket sales.

PaulExcellent · May 7, 2014

Spring-Loaded said:
yeah you do.

yeah i do

Twilight Gap · May 7, 2014

lol at the ending

Marvel · May 7, 2014

Mistel · May 7, 2014

Fiction said:
I'm of the type that has to be laying down. Shower heads feel great and all, but in the end it's just frustrating.

I can just use my thighs or fingers pretty much anywhere.

perfectchaos007 said:
I think the goal here is to have the largest range in orgasm time. Its optimal to be able to go as long as 3 hours before orgasm, but as quick as 10 seconds. That way you're versatile for any situation.

Fair enough then versitility is very good.

hgarrett54 said:
Is that a new console? Where can I buy one? Does it have a faster GPU than the PS4?

A lot faster probably.

bobbychalkers · May 7, 2014

.

User 100115 · May 7, 2014

Stormtrooper said:
I can just use my thighs or fingers pretty much anywhere.

Fair enough then versitility is very good.

A lot faster probably.

So jealous.

I just don't get it, it's fairly easy for me to get off during sex, but god damn do I suck at doing it myself.

Ferrio · May 7, 2014

-COOLIO- said:
if it's yearly then id like to sign up for email notification on ticket sales.

Going to be like a Gallagher show.

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