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[Coins]

So my wife and I were talking about masturbation when she boldly claimed she could get the job done faster than me. She trash talked for awhile about how a woman can push that button way quicker when the purpose was to just get off as fast as possible.

I figured she was right because she's easy to make orgasm and if it's easy for me I was sure she could beat me.

But I challenged her anyway... and I won! By mere seconds!

I immediately jumped up and cut a WWE style promo on how I'm the inaugural, undisputed masturbation champ but then she said that she challenges me to a two out of three match.

:-(

Vaginas are just unfair.

Anyway people, challenge your significant other to a contest tonight! Become a champion!

 

[depths20XX]

I ain't no cum chump.

 

[Anoregon]

I ain't no cum chump.

God damn I love that meme

 

[AkuMifune]

Meanwhile sparky out back is the secret champ.

 

[Switch Back 9]

While I don't doubt that some women can make themselves climax pretty quickly, I've rubbed out some pretty snappy danger-wanks in my day. No way a chick could beat that.

 

[TheWarrior]

Congrats on the sex

Spoiler

with yourself

 

[Overdoziz]

 

[Ferrio]

So did she have to eat the biscuit?

 

[Sneds]

But would you have won if your sister was in the room? Thought not. EightBitNate remains the champ.

I wonder if EightBitNate does the same thing with his sister.

 

[strafer]

DAAAAAAAAAAMMIT

I WAS ABOUT TO PISS THIS

 

[Alchemy]

Challenge her to see who can orgasm the furthest.

 

[Chance Hale]

Reminds me of that scene from Kinsey, can't find the clip though.

 

[User 100115]

Some women are different, but for me it takes so long and so much effort it's usually not worth it.

Always been jealous of the ability to just bang one out in the shower.

 

[Majine]

but then she said that she challenges me to a two out of three match.

That's not how this works, baby.

 

[Thatonemoor]

 

[Ekdrm2d1]

Great thread.

Pulls up chair

 

[Saint Gregory]

Congrats on the sex

Spoiler

with yourself

Hey, they were clearly doing the challenge back to back... or front to front. Either way it works.

 

[Brakke]

Thought this thread was going to be a mess, is actually sort of sweet. Good work, OP, we're all proud of you.

 

[perfectchaos007]

Some women are different, but for me it takes so long and so much effort it's usually not worth it.

Always been jealous of the ability to just bang one out in the shower.

You need to demo different shower heads to find out which one works best for you. Ask a female employee to assist you the next time you're shopping for one at Home Depot

 

[Luis_23]

mess.

Hmmmm.....

 

[PaulExcellent]

i dont even know why i come to the ot anymore

 

[Spring-Loaded]

i dont even know why i come to the ot anymore

yeah you do.

 

[DoktorEvil]

So its a competition where everyone wins?

 

[FortuneFaded]

I'm proud of you.

 

[Gorillaz]

Where is that gif of the spidey avatar watching porn and the waves hitting the other spidey avatar

it feels appropriate

 

[pants]

So my wife and I were talking about masturbation when she boldly claimed she could get the job done faster than me. She trash talked for awhile about how a woman can push that button way quicker when the purpose was to just get off as fast as possible.

I figured she was right because she's easy to make orgasm and if it's easy for me I was sure she could beat me.

But I challenged her anyway... and I won! By mere seconds!

I immediately jumped up and cut a WWE style promo on how I'm the inaugural, undisputed masturbation champ but then she said that she challenges me to a two out of three match.

:-(

Vaginas are just unfair.

Anyway people, challenge your significant other to a contest tonight! Become a champion!

 

[wenis]

I immediately jumped up and cut a WWE style promo on how I'm the inaugural, undisputed masturbation champ but then she said that she challenges me to a two out of three match.

so i take it there is no resting period allowed?

 

[Mistel]

I wonder if EightBitNate does the same thing with his sister.

He finishes first probably.

Why would you want to be the fastest to orgasm?

 

[hgarrett54]

What's a significant other? Is that a new dating Sim game for the 3DS

 

[perfectchaos007]

He finishes first probably.

Why would you want to be the fastest to orgasm?

I think the goal here is to have the largest range in orgasm time. Its optimal to be able to go as long as 3 hours before orgasm, but as quick as 10 seconds. That way you're versatile for any situation.

 

[Mistel]

What's a significant other? Is that a new dating Sim game for the 3DS

Another word for partner.

 

[DoktorEvil]

Where is that gif of the spidey avatar watching porn and the waves hitting the other spidey avatar

it feels appropriate

 

[-COOLIO-]

should be an olympic sport.

 

[Lowmelody]

Goddamn this thread is seriously hotttttttt

 

[User 100115]

You need to demo different shower heads to find out which one works best for you. Ask a female employee to assist you the next time you're shopping for one at Home Depot

I'm of the type that has to be laying down. Shower heads feel great and all, but in the end it's just frustrating.

 

[Borgnine]

But she faked it just like every other time.

 

[Kinitari]

Inaugural? Is it going to be like a yearly competition or something? How do you train for that?

 

[Jackpot]

Good show.

 

[SJRB]

Inaugural? Is it going to be like a yearly competition or something? How do you train for that?

Daily.

 

[Mesoian]

Ah man.

This is going to get a lot of use next month

 

[kehs]

She totally played you into that two our three challenge.

God damn,

 

[hgarrett54]

Another word for partner.

Is that a new console? Where can I buy one? Does it have a faster GPU than the PS4?

 

[-COOLIO-]

Inaugural? Is it going to be like a yearly competition or something? How do you train for that?

if it's yearly then id like to sign up for email notification on ticket sales.

 

[PaulExcellent]

yeah you do.

yeah i do

 

[Twilight Gap]

lol at the ending

 

[Marvel]

 

[Mistel]

I'm of the type that has to be laying down. Shower heads feel great and all, but in the end it's just frustrating.

I can just use my thighs or fingers pretty much anywhere.

I think the goal here is to have the largest range in orgasm time. Its optimal to be able to go as long as 3 hours before orgasm, but as quick as 10 seconds. That way you're versatile for any situation.

Fair enough then versitility is very good.

Is that a new console? Where can I buy one? Does it have a faster GPU than the PS4?

A lot faster probably.

 

[bobbychalkers]

.

 

[User 100115]

I can just use my thighs or fingers pretty much anywhere.

Fair enough then versitility is very good.

A lot faster probably.

So jealous.

I just don't get it, it's fairly easy for me to get off during sex, but god damn do I suck at doing it myself.

 

[Ferrio]

if it's yearly then id like to sign up for email notification on ticket sales.

Going to be like a Gallagher show.