All this talk about Jin and Kazuya we all know who the real main character of Tekken is (Plus gives me an excuse to post this again from the previous thread

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Heihachi Mishima
Pre Tekken
- He fought Jinpachi and enslaved his ass under honmoru and then forgot about it, took over his financial empire and became a rich ass pimp =O fuck that's manly
- He ripped out Armor King 1's eye, while kicking his ass, so instead he went to Boskonovitch to get him a mechanical one made! (With the recent Tekken 6 story, I bet he was kicking both Armor King's asses at the SAME TIME and ripped them both one)
- He adopted Lee so just in case Kazuya comes out he can kick his ass because he's not worth his time, and also use Lee as well for his other lowly affairs (such as his relationships with Nina and Anna), because Lee is worth shitty whores (Heihachi has too may bitches)
- He screwed Kazume and out comes Kazuya in all .4 seconds, bitch of a son, not worthy
- He pwned Feng's clan and acquired the Shinken Scrolls with EASE, its like beating the shit out of little children
- He went to Scandinavia and owned the SHIT out of a white woman since she wanted Heihachi's manliness so bad, hence we have the baby Lars who's not worth it
- Heihachi destroyed the fuck out of... Michelle's WHOLE tribe, because he wanted to find the GOD OF FIGHTING who turned out to be the GOD OF PATHETICNESS instead, perfect for Jin..
Tekken 1
- He threw down his bitch son into a ravine because he felt like it
- He raised Kuma (a fucking bear) and taught it martial arts, OMFG
- He caught an Axe in his mouth
- He let Kazuya beat him cause he wanted to check out his own skill against the Devil (LMAO, Kazuya needed another worldly entity to beat Heihachi) also Heihachi laughed when he was thrown down the same cliff as Kazuya
Tekken 2
- He trained in the ravine for a few years because that was his plan all along, bored with his rich life but he started to miss it, he broke a few mountains down there I bet and drank up the ravine too, and then to make it more manlier he climbed back up the ravine WHILE IT WAS RAINING, FUCK!
- He fucking beat up the Devil with an OTGF because he spent all of Heihachi's funds on being a playmate with Kazuya... So the best next step was to throw Kazuya into a volcano for the embarrassment he was for being a son... and so the world wouldn't know his son was a closet boy.
- If you didn't notice in Lee's ending, when he's put in a small Jail cell, Heihachi is actually smiling because he knows those bars will self combust within .5 seconds of his ending
- He made prototype Jack with his own hands using all manly things around the world (making another manly object out of nothing)
- He lol'd at Wang's relationship with Jinpachi's death and sorrow all through the tournament
Tekken 3
- He took up Jin just so Ogre can sense the wuss that was living at his place
- Heihachi was involved in feeding the hungry and doing good things around the world for people like me for 20 years, heck, the laptop im using is the one he gave me with one of his used beautiful women (thanks sir)
- He keeps Xiaoyu so that Kuma 2 (ANOTHER BEAR HE RAISED AND TRAINED) would impregnate Panda for a new breed of bears. He doesn't help Kuma because he wants Kuma to pimp her at the end and to learn the man rules his own way. Heihachi doesn't have mercy on any weak souls, humans or animals.
- He shot Jin in the head without caring shit (nuff said)
- Jin turned into Devil Jin and grabbed his face, broke the temple wall and then piledrived him headfirst into thousands of years of stone from 23432543243 meters of height, Heihachi just got up 2 seconds later laughing at how the wuss ran off and enjoyed the view of said wuss running away
- Threw Jin down his helicopter because he saw the pussy growing within, named Devil
- Ogre HAS to absorb Heihachi's manliness to become true OGRE...
Tekken 4
- Seeing the wuss in his tiger striped coat (he went to India and killed it himself by
Broken Toy-ing the shit out of it) he got angry because Kazuya appeared again only through the help of technology
- OTGF (Omen Thunder God Fist) was born officially for the world to see!
- Heihachi knows Steve is also his bastard son, but hates his guts as much as anyone else, also Nina wouldn't say anything because she's his bitch
- In Lee's ending Combot didn't give a 50 hit combo, it received it (FACT), minutes later Lee's neck was snapped in half and his office destroyed
- Kazuya got owned like a little bitch again by Heihachi, by hanging him in Honmaru with chains that would get his cowardly satan wannabe friend out of him first
- Jin never beat Hei because Jun Kazama came in and told Jin, that's your real father, don't hurt him. Kazuya wanting to believe he has a nutsack lied all along. Notice how Hei always laughs at Jin like he's a terrible wuss.
Soul Calibur II
- Only fighter in the history of the series to ever fight without weapons, because the best weapons are his own hands, plus he beats the ancient world and Raphael, and gives them all his Guillotine throw including the swords, hence the Soul Swords don't exist in the present age anymore.
Tekken Tag
- Heihachi is so manly, he trains Kuma how to do the initiation dance of getting 10,000,000 women pregnant at the same time for good luck.
- Talking about Kuma, in Paul's ending when he punches Kuma in the chest, that was alright, 2 manly characters can do that, but when Kazuya pussy's out of the fight and disappears, he saw Heihachi from behind, such is his power.
- His ending is by far the most manliest of them all, unlike Hwoarang and Jin who don't end up doing shit and bang each other instead. Heihachi see's himself pwn Kazuya and Jin with his Demon Uppercut and Guillotine Throw and ending with a smirk that destroyed Mt. Fuji in the Soul Calibur days.
- Bruce's story was a wet dream for him, notice how Kazuya and the immortal Heihachi were all lying on the Tekken Force, making it for sure Bruce had other naughty thoughts in his head.
Tekken 5
- Only the most amazing CG cinematic in history of videogames and destroying the fuck out of every Jack 4, we saw the OTGF INTO uf+3,4 OMFG... Heihachi Mishima owned Tekken 5 and he didn't even participate in it.
-After pulverizing the endless waves of Jack(meoff)s and sending their sub-par components to the scrap heap, he was betrayed by that wussy-fuck Kazuya (who ran off like a pussy) and subsequently thrown from his temple.....by an EXPLOSION. Interestingly enough, he lands in a graveyard where most other thin-skinned sissies would roll over and die. Not Heihachi.....he picks himself up and dusts the bones off him and shrugs it off as a bad day. MANLYAZZFOOK! He exudes such manliness that other fighter's enormous sex organs go limp and become permantly flacid in his presence. Heihachi lowers men's sperm count on reaction.
- Raven pussies out of the fight because the organization knows, Heihachi is a mangod and is owned by him anyways
- Jinpachi has to go super saiyan to destroy Heihachi and even then loses like a little bitch, lolz he even sends Jinpachi, Jin and Kazuya off into space.
- Wang likes to wish just like Lee that they can defeat his greatness in their stories, incompetants.
Tekken 6
- Space travel for the man god and bear accessory is now unlocked. The man has so much money he travels in space just to throw his garbage. Not only is it eco friendly as the ozone devours the filth, but it's his new fetish of finding out how big of a crater said filth makes when it hits the earth.
- Kuma-yo now has man god accessories which gives him +100 manliness. So those people who now laughed at you for playing Kuma in the arcades can now go cut their dicks and throw them at the wall.
- Lars is humiliated by the following; Firstly, Heihachi used to fight Kuma and Mokujin for practice, but since Lars showed up, he really wanted to make it easy for him to the point that while the fight ended Heihachi woke up from a nap while he pumped Iron in his dreams, yes folks that's fucking right. Secondly, when he wakes up, he's happy, he lifted Mount Everest finally with just one finger, with Brolly pushing down with SS3 strength. Which makes the point that, when Lars fires his gun, Heihachi laughs and catches the bullet in his mouth. Lastly, he tells Lars to STFU and guess what Lars leaves like a little bitch, with robot pussy (the only thing he can score by his side), knowing this Heihachi caught another nap in 5 minutes which shook the Alps, also he got so bored of the tournament, so he's preparing for T7. The only reason Heihachi was surprised by Lars was because his hair looked like a Swan with it's neck cut off.
- Nina is now pregnant, while Heihachi had fun with her in the copter. She fell to the floor in front of Jin, because when she saw him, it was like looking at the ultimate wuss. Also her vagina was in tatters and she was exhausted by feeding on constant pimp man god pimp juice for 20 years straight... yes Heihachi can also speed up and slow down time beyond our comprehension.
- I see Lee, Kazuya and Jin still have fantasies of "blowing" Heihachi up one way or another. Truly LOL-Worthy
Playstation Allstars Battle Royal
- Heihachi's manliness predates any and all other contendors in that game. Even within the Playstation family, his legacy is the longest and strongest among all.
Tekken Blood Vengeance
- The one character that was hyped up to be the ultimate fighting machine Shin Kamiya punched Heihachi with all his might even with a runup that couldn't even make Heihachi flinch or budge.
- Heihachi precedes to kill that character with a single torture tack.
- One handed giant swing. Enough Said.
- Who else manages to Jacknife powerbomb their grandson onto their son through 5 FLOORS: