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Age gap in relationships

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I'd say after 10 years of age difference is where it would become uncomfortable for some people. Then again my brother is dating someone who is older than our mom so idk
 
But just be aware of the fact that they're at that age where they can wake up one day and totally do a 180.
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this isn't really specific to age - people are just like that - hell, i went crazy at 24 and did a whole load of stuff that wasn't particularly constructive, but the idea that it's just a caveat for dating younger women isn't entirely true.

Hell, i've seen people in their teens, 20s , 30s, 40s, 50s all have a period where they "go to the zoo"
 
My fiancée is 11 years older than me and it's something we don't even think about. We have super similar personalities and senses of humor so generally it feels like we are exactly the same age. Sometimes she will make a reference to something or explain something from when she was a kid that I'm already familiar with, and sometimes I then get overeager to point out that I am actually familiar with it, but that's the closest thing to any sort of an age hiccup we ever have and it's obviously extremely trivial.
 
terrisus said:
First person to post that absurd "Age / 2 + 7" "rule" is stuck explaining where all of these random constants come from and how they make sense within a generalized formula.
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I'm just as shocked as you are.

That doesn't follow my formula
x+y; -4 < x &#8804; 4 & y=age..
 
An age difference can be weird, but there's nothing wrong with it. There comes a point where a relationship might seem predatory, regardless of gender (like an 18-year-old and a 60-year-old), but if both people are all for it, I don't see the problem.

A ton of 16-20 year old girls have told me they'd like to date a guy in his thirties or older, and I know a handful of guys who would prefer to be with older women. There shouldn't be a stigma attached to this.
 
I'm going to date a 23 year old when, I'm 18.

GAF is that weird? I don't mind the age gap... She's so pretty and I'm so attracted to her, I don't care about the age. Honestly I'd go as far as to say I'm in love with her.

All my friends think this is weird though and its almost discouraging me, but eh.
 
Age gaps are only problematic if one partner is "settling", like if a 24-year-old guy who hasn't had much luck in love starts going out with a more impressionable 15-year-old girl, or if a 20-year-old woman who isn't particularly attractive is only able to get a date from a 45-year-old man.

If somebody is intentionally leaving their age range so they have more options, that suggests they'd rather be with somebody closer to their age, and might cause problems down the line.
 
Speedy Blue Dude said:
I'm going to date a 23 year old when, I'm 18.

GAF is that weird? I don't mind the age gap... She's so pretty and I'm so attracted to her, I don't care about the age. Honestly I'd go as far as to say I'm in love with her.

All my friends think this is weird though and its almost discouraging me, but eh.
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I don't think you're weird. I've dated two separate guys when I was 23 and they were 19. One relationship lasted for almost two years. The other one I felt like I just wanted to corrupt him (he was a virgin).
 
uhhhhh...
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point being - being crazy impulsive isn't the preserve of teenagers.

I've seen much older people have much more destructive swings in personality and behavior , just saying.
 
terrisus said:
But why is it "a guideline" and who decided it applies to "society" even as just a general form?
There's really no rhyme or reason to it other than someone picking numbers based on what they feel.
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Wonder how much that has changed in the last 12 years. Anyway, according to this graph it's a pretty good fit, there's a few guys who are attracted to girls slightly younger than the "half age plus 7" rule, but dating a 15 year old girl when you're 20, I think we can agree that's very borderline considering the emotional maturity of teens.
 
ya, I'm 28 and have been more into somebody younger right now.

I mean I am barely finishing up school, starting a career, would like to do a bit of traveling, I feel somebody my age would be looking towards settling down.

I am definitely not ready to settle down yet. Figured somebody 23-25 range would be a better match right now.
 
Age gaps don't matter at all, if you get on then it's all good, me and my fiance got together when I was 25 and she was 16, 8 years later we're still together
 
My girlfriend is 10 years older than me (35-25), we've been together for four years now. Even if we have some fundamental disagreements about certain things, we're mostly on the same page about everything. The only 'problem' that comes up sometimes is that she wants to have kids before getting too old for it but I don't want them yet, but it doesn't come up that often.
 
Transhuman said:
Wonder how much that has changed in the last 12 years. Anyway, according to this graph it's a pretty good fit, there's a few guys who are attracted to girls slightly younger than the "half age plus 7" rule, but dating a 15 year old girl when you're 20, I think we can agree that's very borderline considering the emotional maturity of teens.
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20 and 15, sure.
But, for me at 31, would it really be so absurd for me to date someone who was 22?

I mean, aside from the fact that I'm married anyway.
My wife's a year and a half older than me.
 
My experience is that while dating around your own age is typically going to have you dating someone "at the same stage in life", that isn't always going to be the case depending on the individual. So while age might be a general help, it really depends on the people in question, and whether there is a match in priorities, goals, and personality.

For me, I've tended to date women who are a lot younger than me because they have the energy and pace to keep up, aren't in a hurry to settle down and have kids, and more into what I do and how I spend my time. My latest long term relationship has an 18 year age gap, and she has been the best and most understanding partner of my life.
 
Sounds like you two are very committed. I've never dated older chicks, only hooked up with them. My current gf is 22 and I'm 31. Ironically, she has turned out to be more reasonable and mature than any girl I've dated my age.
 
Half age +7? ohhhhh. Still wouldn't date a girl in highschool... maybe if she was in final year.

Anyways i think it's not a big deal, in fact it's probably the reason why it's a bit more difficult for guys around early 20s. Found that a lot of girls are way more mature then I am, I still have that teenager mentality and I still consider myself as a child to be honest. Females tend to grow up a lot faster.
 
Transhuman said:
Wonder how much that has changed in the last 12 years. Anyway, according to this graph it's a pretty good fit, there's a few guys who are attracted to girls slightly younger than the "half age plus 7" rule, but dating a 15 year old girl when you're 20, I think we can agree that's very borderline considering the emotional maturity of teens.
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The issue with 15 and 20 isn't the age difference, it's that a 15-year-old is underage and much less emotionally mature than somebody a few years older. 18 and 27 isn't as bad as 15 and 20.
 
Mario said:
My experience is that while dating around your own age is typically going to have you dating someone "at the same stage in life", that isn't always going to be the case depending on the individual. So while age might be a general help, it really depends on the people in question, and whether there is a match in priorities, goals, and personality.

For me, I've tended to date women who are a lot younger than me because they have the energy and pace to keep up, aren't in a hurry to settle down and have kids, and more into what I do and how I spend my time. My latest long term relationship has an 18 year age gap, and she has been the best and most understanding partner of my life.
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Thanks for sharing this. I'm potentially about to be in a situation with someone 13 years younger. I'd rather hang out with her than anyone else I know, which is surprising to me, but it's true. I'm still nervous as to how this is going to play out.
 
Young girls are much more volatile. Their personalities, beliefs and whatsnot have not yet settle down and are more prone to changes. They are just less emotionally stable in many things from what I had experienced.
 
terrisus said:
20 and 15, sure.
But, for me at 31, would it really be so absurd for me to date someone who was 22?

I mean, aside from the fact that I'm married anyway.
My wife's a year and a half older than me.
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That would actually fit in the confines, because 31/2= 15.5, 15.5+7=22.5. But I understand what you mean. A 23 year old and a 34 year old are both rational adults (or at least I hope they are), anyone who finds that relationship inappropriate needs a good faceslap. I honestly think the "rule" looses it's relevance if both people are over 20.
 
I'm only 21 and I already feel weird about going out with 18 year olds. I'm even more uncomfortable with people who are more than 2 years older too, come to think of it.

Guess I just like people my age
 
Jtrizzy said:
Thanks for sharing this. I'm potentially about to be in a situation with someone 13 years younger. I'd rather hang out with her than anyone else I know, which is surprising to me, but it's true. I'm still nervous as to how this is going to play out.
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I was too initially, and indeed some people wrote it off as an unworkable fling. But most people have been supportive and the subject hardly ever comes up. My biggest anxiety was our respective parents (I was pretty nervous about meeting her dad in particular), but there wasn't a problem there at all.
 
Manu said:
My girlfriend is 10 years older than me (35-25), we've been together for four years now. Even if we have some fundamental disagreements about certain things, we're mostly on the same page about everything. The only 'problem' that comes up sometimes is that she wants to have kids before getting too old for it but I don't want them yet, but it doesn't come up that often.
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Same age gap here. 30-40. Known her for 4 years, married for a little over 1. We are looking forward to our first kid and I'm already completely aware of the risks and so is she.

Feel free to explore my thread history to see what insecurities I go through but I do believe I'm working through them. Things are looking up for the better now.
 
I'm 31. Last two women I've dated and slept with, respectively, were 23 and 37. Age is only a big deal if you want it to be (or if its illegal, lolz).

Maturity is more important than age.
 
I'm 26 and my bf is 32. We seem to be at the same stage in our lives which works out well. Plus he has a few grey hairs which I just love. He's a pain when he's trying to quit smoking though. My goodness we've had a lot of issues there. But we're getting there :)
 
Purely for judging the 'creepiness' factor, I go by the half-plus-seven rule.

And yes, age is a good guage for emotional maturity, atleast as a starting point. But if you click and are atleast on a similar level, then go nuts.
 
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