Support NeoGAF

[Salsa]

I've always been with around my age-or-younger women. My longest relationship was with a girl 2 years younger than me, and right after that and before my current situation I dated a girl 4 years younger.

Now im getting pretty serious (or at least we're commiting to take some big leaps) with a girl that is 8 years older than me, and a full 12 years older than the girl I was dating just a while ago. She's 32 and im 24. I'll spare the details as to why im talking about leaps and all cause i've talked about plenty in other threads and it's besides the point.

The age thing isn't really something that bothers me. She has a kid, so it's not like im worried about being in different places in our lives with respects to family or her wanting something like that. Im not afraid of commitment and I feel pretty good about being in a relationship with this girl and moving in together.

The thing that does strike me as odd sometimes is that I've personally never heard experiences about something like this and how it went on with time. And for some reason it's almost always the other way around (man being older), so I just wondered if GAF had some experience on this and how it turned out for you.

Not really looking for advice since I don't really need it nor will it change how I feel about the whole thing, but it's an interesting thing that I can't quite discuss with my circle of friends cause they never found themselves in this situation.

 

[ComputerMKII]

It's OK, I've rarely found girls my age interesting either.

When I was studying English at the university I had a big crush on a classmate who was 37 (I was 24). I eventually revealed my feelings to her but she said she just wanted to be friends. My world was devastated.

The following year I had another classmate who was 33 and she was even more interesting - a PhD/Researcher in Philosophy, foreigner, knew lots of things and stuff. We had amazing conversations. After the end of the year I revealed my feelings (by e-mail) to her, too. She didn't answer and we pretty much stopped seeing and talking to each other. The rare times we did talk to each other since then we never mentioned the e-mail thing. A couple years later I learnt on Facebook that she got married and had a kid. My world was devastated again and I swore never to reveal my feelings to a girl again.

 

[Buckethead]

If you don't want advice, then why are you posting a thread?

How long have you known this chick? Moving in talk already?

Practically speaking it's about shared interests, maturity, and what you're both looking to get out of the relationship. If you operate on the same frequency, it doesn't matter too much as long as you're open to one person being ahead/behind the other in some areas.

 

[Chairmanchuck]

I think if you are about 28, some 30 year old wrinkly woman is already too old for you.

 

[Salsa]

If you don't want advice, then why are you posting a thread?

share experiences? I thought it was pretty clear in the OP

im saying no looking for advice cause im not dumb enough to let other people decide what I do, i've already thought about it, but like I said I dont know anyone in a similar situation personally so I figured it could be worth discussing with gaf

 

[linkboy]

My wife is 7 years old then me, but we knew each other for 5 years before we got together.

 

[Impeccable]

My wife is five years older than me. Only time I think I'll know is when we're old and grey.

 

[Winterfang]

I'm 27, I can find a girl 8 years younger than me and another 8 years older, equally as hot

 

[Like the hat?]

My wife is 7 years older than me and we've been together going on ten years.

 

[Arkos]

High five brotha

 

[Dicer]

Same age relationship now, works better than my last where the girl was half my age....but that was purley a fling.

 

[anarckitty]

In the past I pretty much always dated guys that were older than me. It's not a huge difference in age, but my husband is three years younger than me.

Congratulations on the relationship btw. How old is her kid?

 

[UrokeJoe]

I've always been hot for older women. My wife is seven years younger than me.

 

[Pancho]

Hey man, If you are happy, screw it, be happy. Age gaps are fine in my opinion unless its something creepy like a 30 something dude dating an 18 year old.

 

[PaulExcellent]

My girlfriend looks 14 and I look 21+ when I don't shave. (We're both 20.)

We get angry looks all the time. I almost had to punch a guy right on front of his wife for giving me an issue about how God didn't approve of us.

Not very related to the OP, but whatevs.
Dude, date who you want and do what you like. You're a grown-ass man. If anyone has issues, they can deal with it. Make yourself happy.

Spoiler

Now that I think about it, maybe the dude meant interracial couples. lol

 

[anarckitty]

Hey man, If you are happy, screw it, be happy. Age gaps are fine in my opinion unless its something creepy like a 30 something dude dating an 18 year old.

What about a 19 year old briefly dating someone in their 40s?

 

[Zeppeli]

I've always been hot for older women. My wife is seven years younger than me.

This doesn't add up

 

[UrokeJoe]

Hey man, If you are happy, screw it, be happy. Age gaps are fine in my opinion unless its something creepy like a 30 something dude dating an 18 year old.

So true. I remember seeing a girl when I was 26 and she was 18... the fling was fun, but when she was with her friends the reality set in quick. Not a good gap.

 

[Jarrod38]

What about a 27 dating someone only 19?

 

[Salsa]

Congratulations on the relationship btw. How old is her kid?

thanks! kid is 7 and he has a 3DS so we're cool

How long have you known this chick? Moving in talk already?

figured i'd answer this even tho it's not really my intention to make this thread about my situation in particular but it is a pretty different scenario

I met the girl just last september in colombia. she lives in venezuela but since meeting she has come and stayed with me for a while. Now she's moving away (situation there being terrible and all) and we've been talking about her just coming to live with me indefinitely. It's rushed but if we wanna keep this going the situation sorta calls for it, otherwise she'll move even further away.

we'll see how it works out. she's still coming and going before staying for good and im gonna make a long trip there next july, but beyond whatever standard exists with this sorta thing it just feels like the right thing at the moment (not to mention the only way this works)

 

[FlashbladeGAF]

The family that lived directly across the street from me growing up had the older woman younger male relationship going. Had an adorable baby girl.


They moved when the girl became a teenager and are still together last I heard a few years ago.

 

[UrokeJoe]

This doesn't add up

Go figure... I know.

 

[BuggyDClown]

It depends on the age. The older you get the less it will matter. For instance at 26 the youngest I would date is 23. I dont' want someone just out of school, and or not living on their own/independant. I've mostly been seeing girls 24-27 lately.

 

[Derwind]

The 4 year gap.

You measure all current and future potential relationships by that measure.

If they do no lie somewhere in the bracket of four years below and four years above, they are automatically out.

So in my situation, I'll only date anyone between the ages of 21 to 29.

Yup yup......

Spoiler

*tips fedora*

 

[Transhuman]

After the end of the year I revealed my feelings (by e-mail)

We get angry looks all the time. I almost had to punch a guy right on front of his wife for giving me an issue about how God didn't approve of us.

Sure that wasn't a race thing though?

 

[Salsa]

Hey man, If you are happy, screw it, be happy. Age gaps are fine in my opinion unless its something creepy like a 30 something dude dating an 18 year old.

Dude, date who you want and do what you like. You're a grown-ass man. If anyone has issues, they can deal with it. Make yourself happy.

thanks dudes but im not really looking for validation here it's not a "help!" thread, just wanted to see what was out there and it seems there's plenty of gaffers with older SOs

 

[SonicXtreme]

What about a 27 dating someone only 19?

I started dating an18 year old girl when I was 26. 2 years later she dropped out of our relationship in the first month of our renewal on our lease and spent all day texting other guys and just coasting for 3 months until I finally had enough and ended it for her. It was cool before that. But just be aware of the fact that they're at that age where they can wake up one day and totally do a 180.

 

[rudieboy77]

What about a 19 year old briefly dating someone in their 40s?

I think in this case maturity and common interests may be an issue.

 

[anarckitty]

thanks! kid is 7 and he has a 3DS so we're cool

I met the girl just last september in colombia. she lives in venezuela but since meeting she has come and stayed with me for a while. Now she's moving away (situation there being terrible and all) and we've been talking about her just coming to live with me indefinitely. It's rushed but if we wanna keep this going the situation sorta calls for it, otherwise she'll move even further away.

we'll see how it works out. she's still coming and going before staying for good and im gonna make a long trip there next july, but beyond whatever standard exists with this sorta thing it just feels like the right thing at the moment (not to mention the only way this works)

Awesome. That's a leap to take that seems worth it to me. I wish you guys the best.

I think in this case maturity and common interests may be an issue.

Yeah, that's true. I did have a lot in common with the guy and we had fun, but I never saw it as anything that had legs.

 

[To Far Away Times]

One of my buddies is in his late 20's and dating someone who is almost 40. Not sure I understand it, but they seem happy.

 

[Pancho]

thanks dudes but im not really looking for validation here it's not a "help!" thread, just wanted to see what was out there and it seems there's plenty of gaffers with older SOs

I might probably end up in the same situation. So far, I've only dated younger women. And all of them lack a maturity I'm looking for. Maybe its time to go for older girls.

 

[terrisus]

First person to post that absurd "Age / 2 + 7" "rule" is stuck explaining where all of these random constants come from and how they make sense within a generalized formula.

 

[DCharlie]

Age gaps be damned - i've been (her vs me) : 15 v 16, 16 v 17, 18 v 18, 24 v 25

so pretty much all within a year of each other

would i date anyone with a significant age gap? Who cares - as long as it's not stretching the realms of decency/legality then i don't care.

One of my buddies is in his late 20's and dating someone who is almost 40. Not sure I understand it, but they seem happy.

might be biased because i'm 39 but i honestly don't see why this is something you don't understand - can you explain what exactly it is you don't understand about the age gap?

 

[UrokeJoe]

I started dating an18 year old girl when I was 26. 2 years later she dropped out of our relationship in the first month of our renewal on our lease and spent all day texting other guys and just coasting for 3 months until I finally had enough and ended it for her. It was cool before that. But just be aware of the fact that they're at that age where they can wake up one day and totally do a 180.

No offense but duh. Life has really just started.

 

[anarckitty]

I might probably end up in the same situation. So far, I've only dated younger women. And all of them lack a maturity I'm looking for. Maybe its time to go for older girls.

Older women are where it's at.

 

[ComputerMKII]

Yeah, I know. I've learned my lesson now.

 

[injurai]

My girlfriend looks 14 and I look 21+ when I don't shave. (We're both 20.)

We get angry looks all the time. I almost had to punch a guy right on front of his wife for giving me an issue about how God didn't approve of us.

Not very related to the OP, but whatevs.
Dude, date who you want and do what you like. You're a grown-ass man. If anyone has issues, they can deal with it. Make yourself happy.

Spoiler

Now that I think about it, maybe the dude meant interracial couples. lol

Some people...

 

[Salsa]

I might probably end up in the same situation. So far, I've only dated younger women. And all of them lack a maturity I'm looking for. Maybe its time to go for older girls.

It's certainly been an eye-opener in certain aspects, while at the same time it made me realize some things about relationships can be mistakenly related to age.

what im saying is, she's waaaaay more mature compared to other girls ive dated in terms of getting her shit together and taking care of things, but at the same time I (and everyone else) completely forget there's an age difference pretty fast.

she's also quite jealous, which I always somewhat blamed on girls being young but oh boy was I wrong, lol. I understand it tho, specially early on and with the distance involved.



also the sex is ridiculously better than with younger girls, jesus.

 

[Armoured Priest]

First person to post that absurd "Age / 2 + 7" "rule" is stuck explaining where all of these random constants come from and how they make sense within a generalized formula.

I'm not going to, but it did come up when I started seeing my fiancee a 5 years ago...she's 8 years younger then I am (I'm 38, she's 30).

 

[andymcc]

there is a seven year gap between me and my girlfriend. if anything, it leads to some funny conversation.

 

[Pau]

My man's eight years older than me. (22 vs. 30.) We tease each other about the age difference but otherwise it doesn't really come up.

Before I had been on a date with an older guy though (in his thirties when I was 19) and that was pretty weird. Definitely felt the age gap there.

 

[Transhuman]

First person to post that absurd "Age / 2 + 7" "rule" is stuck explaining where all of these random constants come from and how they make sense within a generalized formula.

It's a guideline for whether the age difference is considered acceptable by society, it isn't the be-all end-all restriction.

 

[Grakl]

divide your age by two and add seven

there ya go, constants come from knowledge

 

[triplestation]

Half your age minus seven

#goblinjunior

 

[terrisus]

It's a guideline for whether the age difference is considered acceptable by society, it isn't the be-all end-all restriction.

But why is it "a guideline" and who decided it applies to "society" even as just a general form?
There's really no rhyme or reason to it other than someone picking numbers based on what they feel.

 

[Ultima_5]

It's OK, I've rarely found girls my age interesting either.

When I was studying English at the university I had a big crush on a classmate who was 37 (I was 24). I eventually revealed my feelings to her but she said she just wanted to be friends. My world was devastated.

The following year I had another classmate who was 33 and she was even more interesting - a PhD/Researcher in Philosophy, foreigner, knew lots of things and stuff. We had amazing conversations. After the end of the year I revealed my feelings (by e-mail) to her, too. She didn't answer and we pretty much stopped seeing and talking to each other. The rare times we did talk to each other since then we never mentioned the e-mail thing. A couple years later I learnt on Facebook that she got married and had a kid. My world was devastated again and I swore never to reveal my feelings to a girl again.

Dude. If that's how you handle rejection it's probably a maturity thing on your side that's pushing the girls away. Everyone gets rejected. Like a lot.

divide your age by two and add seven

there ya go, constants come from knowledge

Heuristics!

 

[Salsa]

My man's eight years older than me. (22 vs. 30.) We tease each other about the age difference but otherwise it doesn't really come up.

Before I had been on a date with an older guy though (in his thirties when I was 19) and that was pretty weird. Definitely felt the age gap there.

yeah, certainly has to do with how old you are. I guess there's not as much of a difference in maturity when you compare 24 to 32 as opposed to 19 and 30. Has more to do with each person's age instead of the number of years in the gap.

I mean, it's not that weird to see a couple where a man is 60 and the woman is 50 but you don't think about the fact that when she was 1 year old he was almost in highschool, lol.

 

[Sectorseven]

First person to post that absurd "Age / 2 + 7" "rule" is stuck explaining where all of these random constants come from and how they make sense within a generalized formula.

It's like the Fibonacci sequence. It doesn't have to make sense, it's just there.

 

[terrisus]

It's like the Fibonacci sequence. It doesn't have to make sense, it's just there.

The Fibonacci sequence is repeated many times throughout nature, art, music, and other fields.
There are plenty of relationships which do not follow that formula.

Spoiler

Yeah, I know you're not being serious

 

[jasonng]

My man's eight years older than me. (22 vs. 30.) We tease each other about the age difference but otherwise it doesn't really come up.

Before I had been on a date with an older guy though (in his thirties when I was 19) and that was pretty weird. Definitely felt the age gap there.

I'm closer to Kark's age.


Just saying.