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[dark_chris]

So i ended up having a casual meet up with this one chick. She was tomboyish, muscular, in the Marines, Asian and small. Apparently, she had never had done anything with a guy before (she's into chicks) and told me she wants to do it with me cause i had that "sweet cute looking face".
So she asked for an address, came up, and she was shorter than i had realized and did look like a tomboy. It was cute. lol. Started with a kiss and went from there. She thanked me for her showing her a good time and experience. Kissed me and was on her way.

Man I feel scummy but it was also a relief.

Other than that, dating itself has been on a halt. A girl from OKC has been quiet but shows so much promise. Just the problem is that her communication skills are very very low. lol. Other than that, we have a lot of chemistry where we make each other laugh too hard, actually play on the grass, and spend time together. I even got to meet her parents. But lo and behold, i know she doesn't communicate much. From what I know, she works with kids a lot and studies.

 

[Dabookerman]

How many people feel incredibly nonchalant about online dating?

I've been doing it for about a year and a half and haven't had a date since a year ago. I got one on Sunday, assuming it goes ahead. But i haven't felt so non fussed about a date like, ever.
Although it helps that I actually enjoy being single.

I think ultimately it feels like where I currently live, realistically speaking I won't find a girl I could realistically end up in a long term relationship with.
But then I'm also thinking, why bother with the short term stuff?

It's an odd situation.

 

[Smiley90]

There's one thing I noticed about online dating that annoys me. Every time I'm REALLY attracted to a girl on there I make it work only halfway. I'll either meet the girl in person and not make it past a first date, or get a message response with some kind of string attached (ex. long delay in response). Currently going through that right now.

Probably because the girls you're REALLY attracted to are the REALLY attractive ones that generally gather a lot of interest?

e.g. long delay because TONS of messages to respond to
e.g. not make it past 1st date because TONS of dates, so odds are if you're not in the top10% of first dates you don't get a second date

 

[Maddocks]

How soon should I really expect a response if I am actually going to get one? I've been figuring if not within 2 days they aren't interested anymore but I probably have only gotten like less than 10 people that have actually even sent a 1st message or reply...

I guess I'll send a secondary follow up in like a week just in case they forget, not much else to lose at that point...

I once got a reply two months after sending the 1st message. But generally I give up hope on a reply after 3 days. Any longer then that and I know its time to move on.

 

[y2dvd]

My coworker did Meetup and dragged me along. It was pretty cool. Dude is pretty introverted but I can see he bonded with some of these people. I've joined them on a trip to the museum, rock climbing, and a city festival and everyone was pretty cool. Even had some attractive girls in these groups.

Heck, I may join a meetup group myself...

 

[freshair]

How many people feel incredibly nonchalant about online dating?

I've been doing it for about a year and a half and haven't had a date since a year ago. I got one on Sunday, assuming it goes ahead. But i haven't felt so non fussed about a date like, ever.
Although it helps that I actually enjoy being single.

I enjoy being single, but I also enjoy the dating process (to an extent). The thrill and excitement of meeting someone and trying to build a connection. The nonchalantness could be due to the limited circumstance of online dating and perhaps you can't feel excited about something you're not connected to, and building a connection through written words is sometimes difficult and not ideal.

Or perhaps she's just not exciting and you're lowering your standards when it comes to online dating?

 

[NoctisVsStar]

Semi related (it's about dating but not online dating) anyways guys/girls.. have you ever taken one for the team? cause i just did last night.. so my friend is talking to this girl and he asked her out she agreed if only he brought a friend along. My friend tells me and he's like " mike i need you to do me this one favor, she ain't good looking but i need you brah" it sounded like some godfather speech.

i'm like well there's no looking back..so we arrive at this park party music blasting..i see the girls waving ,my friend introduces us and proceeds to abandon me with his girl.. i'm like shorty type hard to look at but baby got back my lawd i can manage i said to myself .. so i'm thinking well my job is to entertain her the whole night for my friend so i proceed to dance/drink with her the whole night

Booty had me like

she definitely knew how to pop it back..well eventually my friend rescued me he told me we were invited over to the girl's apartment ( open crib ) that night and that i left a good impression on her friend and she be willing to come over if i was going over to!.. i'm like goddamn

i went over as well against my will.. my friend and his girl went to the room..oh boy again alone like batman..luckily the girl that i've been dancing with is too wasted to do anything w00t! ( so i thought )..so we sit on the sofa shes talking like if someone rewinded a tape on a vcr saying youUuuu Kn0 iii rrrikee Uuuu..and suddendly her head falls on my lap my eyes go O.O long story short she fell asleep while ***** mind you she went at it for one hour and 15 goddamn min luckly i had henny in the system.

i laid her on the sofa and put her comfortably to sleep with nearby pillow. My friend comes out asking what happened? i said nothing just small talk..hes suspicious but he's beyond grateful. we got on the train heading out home, the night was success for him and i felt i accomplished my duty as a friend

 

[davepoobond]

Are you waiting for a text response or an online message response?

Just online. I seldom get any responses back, so when I finally do, it's pretty much the only one I'm even waiting around for. Just curious what usual response times are.

I once got a reply two months after sending the 1st message. But generally I give up hope on a reply after 3 days. Any longer then that and I know its time to move on.

That's what I figured. But I'll probably just send a follow up in a couple more days just in case they overlooked the response then forget about it.

 

[AlteredForms]

I once got a reply two months after sending the 1st message. But generally I give up hope on a reply after 3 days. Any longer then that and I know its time to move on.

Isn't California brimming with tail to chase? It doesn't matter if you've got game or not, everybody is getting some there.

 

[Five]

Isn't California brimming with tail to chase? It doesn't matter if you've got game or not, everybody is getting some there.

I suppose it depends on which part of California, but the greater Los Angeles area is pretty great from my experience. Lots to pick from regardless of your preferences.

 

[freshair]

Just online. I seldom get any responses back, so when I finally do, it's pretty much the only one I'm even waiting around for. Just curious what usual response times are.

2-3 days and max 1 week. Any longer I assume it's a fade.

 

[Maddocks]

Isn't California brimming with tail to chase? It doesn't matter if you've got game or not, everybody is getting some there.

pretty much, I'm in the los angeles area, so for me online dating is just one avenue. It used to be my main source of getting dates because I was extremely lazy. But now I go out around 2-3 times a week so my main source of trying to get dates is out in the wild. One thing I noticed was that online you have to be more tactful in what you say, its probably because people can re-read things over and over but in the wild, you can pretty much say,"lets get drunk and have some fun" and it will sly and get results.

 

[Dabookerman]

I enjoy being single, but I also enjoy the dating process (to an extent). The thrill and excitement of meeting someone and trying to build a connection. The nonchalantness could be due to the limited circumstance of online dating and perhaps you can't feel excited about something you're not connected to, and building a connection through written words is sometimes difficult and not ideal.

Or perhaps she's just not exciting and you're lowering your standards when it comes to online dating?

I definitely feel jaded by meeting people online. Every girl i've ever been in a relationship with I've met online.
I feel like I'd need to lower my standards to get any sort of date anyway. It's already a bit difficult enough being a minority in a largely white populated part of the country. It's one of the things I actually miss about London, because you're never a minority there. But I try not to let that be an excuse or bother me.
I'm definitely more for finding someone with common interests over simple looks. I feel less excited by physical attraction than I used to, it definitely feels that way for sure.

 

[potam]

pretty much, I'm in the los angeles area, so for me online dating is just one avenue. It used to be my main source of getting dates because I was extremely lazy. But now I go out around 2-3 times a week so my main source of trying to get dates is out in the wild. One thing I noticed was that online you have to be more tactful in what you say, its probably because people can re-read things over and over but in the wild, you can pretty much say,"lets get drunk and have some fun" and it will sly and get results.

so if I walk up to a girl and say, "hey bb u wan sum fuk?" she'll understand my sense of humor and fall in love with me? got it

 

[freshair]

I definitely feel jaded by meeting people online. Every girl i've ever been in a relationship with I've met online.
I feel like I'd need to lower my standards to get any sort of date anyway. It's already a bit difficult enough being a minority in a largely white populated part of the country. It's one of the things I actually miss about London, because you're never a minority there. But I try not to let that be an excuse or bother me.
I'm definitely more for finding someone with common interests over simple looks. I feel less excited by physical attraction than I used to, it definitely feels that way for sure.

You should try meetup. Not exactly for dating, but to just be around people with similar interests, both guys and girls. By expanding your circle of friends, you by proximity also expand your potential for meeting other single girls if you ever go to one of their parties or get togethers.

But occasionally, you do meet someone via meetup and end up dating that person. There's a couple people in my meetup group that are currently dating as a result.

 

[Maddocks]

so if I walk up to a girl and say, "hey bb u wan sum fuk?" she'll understand my sense of humor and fall in love with me? got it

If you say it like that then no, no one is going to respond to that. In person or online. If you are saying it in a joking manner and not really serious then you might look humorous, but I doubt it. It also depends on how you carry yourself. I'm better in person then I'm online, that is just a fact. Because I'm good at reading body language. I don't walk up to girls and say,"lets get wasted and fuck" I say that after a 30-45 minutes of conversation.

 

[Jhoan]

2-3 days and max 1 week. Any longer I assume it's a fade.

Agree with this. Some girls are genuinely busy that they have full time jobs and can only respond every couple of days.

pretty much, I'm in the los angeles area, so for me online dating is just one avenue. It used to be my main source of getting dates because I was extremely lazy. But now I go out around 2-3 times a week so my main source of trying to get dates is out in the wild. One thing I noticed was that online you have to be more tactful in what you say, its probably because people can re-read things over and over but in the wild, you can pretty much say,"lets get drunk and have some fun" and it will sly and get results.

This is why I state in the OP that in person is always better than online dating. Sarcasm/jokes are incredibly hard to detect through the blocks of texts of a computer/phone screen. Word choice definitely matters online. In person, confidence is the deciding factor.

I definitely feel jaded by meeting people online. Every girl i've ever been in a relationship with I've met online.
I feel like I'd need to lower my standards to get any sort of date anyway. It's already a bit difficult enough being a minority in a largely white populated part of the country. It's one of the things I actually miss about London, because you're never a minority there. But I try not to let that be an excuse or bother me.
I'm definitely more for finding someone with common interests over simple looks. I feel less excited by physical attraction than I used to, it definitely feels that way for sure.

Like several people have said, I would definitely recommend you check out meetup.com to meet people with similar interests. I haven't been to my city's Social Anxiety meet up group in about 2 weeks because of my finances being low but it was good and I get invited to events that are organized via Facebook. Outside of meetup.com, I've gone to a few drawing events to meet new people and draw as well as a couple of gaming events and art shows all on my own so I definitely appreciate being single.

I took a risk last Friday and went back to my local Toastmasters chapter (an international public speech organization) that meets in my college after not having gone for two years. Public speaking is something that scares me silly but want to improve upon despite aspiring to be a freelance illustrator. I was the only student there with everyone else either being much older/having kids/full time jobs but the people were receptive and cool despite that; I ended up going to a bar with a bunch of folks afterwards and people told me to continue going regularly. Because I'm a student, I only need to pay $5 for membership. Definitely plan on sticking with it.

I would also recommend you lower your standards to cast a wider net then filter out the fish that you want. I didn't know you were a minority since I assumed you were white based on the pictures I've seen of you.

 

[BIGWORM]

Isn't California brimming with tail to chase? It doesn't matter if you've got game or not, everybody is getting some there.

Central California checking in to say no.

 

[Samara]

Quick question: I sorta strung this guy around....he wrote to me last wednsday. I could just not responds BUT he lives next to where my date works. What should I say? I feel so sorry

 

[freshair]

Quick question: I sorta strung this guy around....he wrote to me last wednsday. I could just not responds BUT he lives next to where my date works. What should I say? I feel so sorry

"Hey! Sorry I've been so busy! I'm going to be honest, I see you as more of a friend so I'm down to hang out but probably in a friend setting."

That's a text I got today and seems to be good.

We're doing happy hour next week because she's cool otherwise and we're going to cross paths during this fall's kickball season.

 

[NoctisVsStar]

Quick question: I sorta strung this guy around....he wrote to me last wednsday. I could just not responds BUT he lives next to where my date works. What should I say? I feel so sorry

Strung in the sense of giving him false hope?

Just be honest and say you met someone

 

[GatorBait]

Moved to a new city a little over a month ago and decided to give online dating a fair shot since I moved without knowing anyone.

Some of you guys may hate me for asking this, but...what do you do about juggling too many girls? At one point I had a weeklong span where I had 6 dates scheduled; I ended up going on five of them and rescheduled one because I was exhausted by staying up way too late multiple weeknights in a row, so I now try to keep my potential dating days confined to Thursday through Sunday (with Friday/Saturday being the preferred days).

At this point, I have two girls who I am quite interested in for possibly dating long-term (girls "A" and "B"), but I also have a handful of numbers and messages in my inbox for girls I can go out on first dates with, and a few girls who I have queued up that would go out with me on second/third dates.

Maybe I'm just not great at dating multiple girls in parallel anymore (which is funny because it is almost all I did in college) because I dislike the idea of stringing other girls along when I know I'd drop them immediately if things progress in any meaningful way with A or B. The problem lies in that, because of scheduling difficulties, I may be able to go out with certain other girls multiple times before going on another date with A or B.

Any advice on how to best deal with other girls/dates when you have a clear #1 that you are interested in?

So, what do you people do on these Tinderdates (or any online dates) when the "magic doesn't seem to happen."

I have had this a couple of times. Sitting in a cafe, drinking something, talking very casually, having a good time, and at the end it's maybe even "let's do this again"...

And somehow I always expect something more should have happened on that first date, but for the girls it seems kind of okay the way it happened...

Am I thinking and expecting too much?

So, is it okay for you on a first date if stuff like kissing or handholding or similar doesn't happen, and, do you go on further dates with that girl?

My go-to first Tinder/online date is just going to grab a couple drinks. To me, that isn't even a date, so much as it is a screening situation - do they look like their pictures? Is their personality in-line with how they have presented themselves online and through messages? Basically, are they someone I would actually want to ask out on a "real" date.

Because of that, I don't try to force body contact or kissing just for the sake of it. Even if things are going very well, I err on the side of not forcing it. It all really depends on the specific situation. I've had 2-hour meetups over drinks where I had a great time, really liked the girl, gave them nothing more than a hug, and locked down a second date (which is in my mind the first "real" date) without any problems. And on the other side of the spectrum, I've had first meetups that led to sex because it naturally progressed to that.

Quick question: I sorta strung this guy around....he wrote to me last wednsday. I could just not responds BUT he lives next to where my date works. What should I say? I feel so sorry

Throw in another vote for being honest. Personally, I like that more than spending any more additional time/mindshare on a person who isn't really interested, or wondering why they fell off the face of the earth after seemingly being interested (which sounds like it would be the case in your situation since you said you strung him along).

 

[freshair]

Moved to a new city a little over a month ago and decided to give online dating a fair shot since I moved without knowing anyone.

Some of you guys may hate me for asking this, but...what do you do about juggling too many girls? At one point I had a weeklong span where I had 6 dates scheduled; I ended up going on five of them and rescheduled one because I was exhausted by staying up way too late multiple weeknights in a row, so I know try to keep my potential dating days confined to Thursday through Sunday (with Friday/Saturday being the preferred days).

At this point, I have two girls who I am quite interested in for possibly dating long-term (girls "A" and "B"), but I also have a handful of numbers and messages in my inbox for girls I can go out on first dates with, and a few girls who I have queued up that would go out with me on second/third dates.

Maybe I'm just not great at dating multiple girls in parallel anymore (which is funny because it is almost all I did in college) because I dislike the idea of stringing other girls along when I know I'd drop them immediately if things progress in any meaningful way with A or B. The problem lies in that, because of scheduling difficulties, I may be able to go out with certain other girls multiple times before going on another date with A or B.

Any advice on how to best deal with other girls/dates when you have a clear #1 that you are interested in?

Aside from the fact that you'd drop these other girls for A or B, is there anything else stopping you from going out with your other potentials? Because if so, then maybe it's worth it to go on a date with them and see if there's anything there or if you really like A/B more.

But I get the whole issue about being exhausted. I'm in a similar boat and I think we need to take a step back and let ourselves enjoy the date and not just keep dating to date (though that is the point, personal and mental health comes first).

 

[GatorBait]

Aside from the fact that you'd drop these other girls for A or B, is there anything else stopping you from going out with your other potentials? Because if so, then maybe it's worth it to go on a date with them and see if there's anything there or if you really like A/B more.

But I get the whole issue about being exhausted. I'm in a similar boat and I think we need to take a step back and let ourselves enjoy the date and not just keep dating to date (though that is the point, personal and mental health comes first).

To your first question: no, not really. Girl A is my clear favorite (we seem to match really really well based on personalities/interests/goals/morals) with B as a distant second. I actually think I could find someone who is a better overall match than B with a little more dating, but her and I hit it off really well personality-wise. I'm in the process of trying to set something up with A for this upcoming weekend, so hopefully that works out and the picture clears itself up slightly.

As for your second point, I definitely took a little bit of a step back already with now purposefully confining dates outside of weeknights. I sort of abused the fact that I'm in a largely self-driven training period at my new job, so I could afford being less than 100% for a little bit, but I knew I'd have to draw the line eventually. I also think I'm partly going out with some of these girls "just to date." I don't know many friends here yet, so going out with someone new or setting up a 2nd date with someone I'm not totally enthralled with seems more enticing that staying home if one of the girls I'm really interested in is unavailable for a date on a particular weekend.

I'm a chick, but I wouldn't string 6 dudes along if I wanted 2 of them. I'd date those 2 and tell the rest bye.

To clarify: I'm not actively going out with 6 girls at this point. I've gone on a double-digit number of dates overall (some of which were first dates only, a few to 2nd dates, and one to a 3rd), but to this point, I have cut it off with most of those that I wasn't 100% interested in.

Regardless though, your point is taken.

 

[Lucian Cat]

Hey!

NeoGAF is not online dating

Worked for me!

 

[freshair]

Just got back from my 8th (9th?) first date in 2 weeks and I'm into this girl. She's cute, smart, and articulate, though a tad quiet in her speaking voice. Out of the 8 I only felt a connection between 2 of them, one of which is giving me the fade. We have a verbal agreement for a second date some time next week, but I've also been faded with that before so I'm hoping things turn out for the best.

I think I'm going to slow my roll a bit and maybe do only 1 date a week. I know it's a first world problem, but it's exhausting and I'm definitely not on my A game for all of them, which is a hindrance when you're trying to make a good first impression.

I've only got 1 tentatively next week prior to tonight's girl, so 2 max next week.

 

[Jimothy]

So, what do you people do on these Tinderdates (or any online dates) when the "magic doesn't seem to happen."

I have had this a couple of times. Sitting in a cafe, drinking something, talking very casually, having a good time, and at the end it's maybe even "let's do this again"...

And somehow I always expect something more should have happened on that first date, but for the girls it seems kind of okay the way it happened...

Am I thinking and expecting too much?

So, is it okay for you on a first date if stuff like kissing or handholding or similar doesn't happen, and, do you go on further dates with that girl?

If you don't end up with at least a kiss on a first date, shit is going nowhere. There has to be that physical chemistry right off the bat or it will just feel like going out with a friend, which I'm pretty sure no one is interested in if they're on a dating website. The only girls I could see being an exception are those that are culturally conservative and need a while to warm up to someone physically. Thankfully I have no interest whatsoever in those types.

 

[Smiley90]

If you don't end up with at least kiss on a first date, shit is going nowhere. There has to be that physical chemistry right off the bat or it will just feel like going out with a friend, which I'm pretty sure no one is interested in if they're on a dating website. The only girls I could see being an exception to are those that are culturally conservative and need a while to warm up to someone physically. Thankfully I have no interest whatsoever in those types.

This is soooo wrooooooooooong.

Yes, there should be physical chemistry right off the bat. But it doesn't have to be a kiss. It can be a hug, it can be guiding her with your hand on her back to a chair/through a door, it can be casual shoulder-to-shoulder bump when teasing while sitting next to her, something like that. I usually (unless I get some very clear signals) on the second date, since first dates from online dating to me are more about feeling out for signals.

 

[freshair]

This is soooo wrooooooooooong.

Yes, there should be physical chemistry right off the bat. But it doesn't have to be a kiss. It can be a hug, it can be guiding her with your hand on her back to a chair/through a door, it can be casual shoulder-to-shoulder bump when teasing while sitting next to her, something like that. I usually (unless I get some very clear signals) on the second date, since first dates from online dating to me are more about feeling out for signals.

Seconded.

The girl who is giving me the fade, we kissed/made out on the first date and she's fading me, haha.

Not an entirely accurate predictor of whether on compatibility and if it'll lead to more dates. I do think that if a second dates happens though, you need to seal it to show physical interest.

First dates to me are almost always "feelers". Whether or not they're worth seeing again, if they're interesting, look like their pictures, etc. And it can (but it doesn't have to) end in a kiss, imo.

 

[Jimothy]

This is soooo wrooooooooooong.

Yes, there should be physical chemistry right off the bat. But it doesn't have to be a kiss. It can be a hug, it can be guiding her with your hand on her back to a chair/through a door, it can be casual shoulder-to-shoulder bump when teasing while sitting next to her, something like that. I usually (unless I get some very clear signals) on the second date, since first dates from online dating to me are more about feeling out for signals.

That's cool but my experience was vastly different. The first 30 or so minutes of a date was usually spent feeling out signals. The rest was spent gradually working up to the first kiss by flirting subtly at first, then blatantly touching her thigh or holding her hand. This all flowed pretty naturally into a first kiss, and in rare circumstances maybe more at her or my place. I'm not bragging at all when I say that this was my experience over the course of 15-ish first dates. If both parities find the other party attractive, kissing is basically a given after a certain point. The only dates that didn't end with a kiss were with girls I felt no chemistry with, physically or conversationally.

I guess I should mention all my dates happened in NYC with very open, liberal type girls so my experience is probably different than someone living in a place like Lincoln, Nebraska.

 

[Smiley90]

Seconded.

The girl who is giving me the fade, we kissed/made out on the first date and she's fading me, haha.

Not an entirely accurate predictor of whether on compatibility and if it'll lead to more dates. I do think that if a second dates happens though, you need to seal it to show physical interest.

First dates to me are almost always "feelers". Whether or not they're worth seeing again, if they're interesting, look like their pictures, etc. And it can (but it doesn't have to) end in a kiss, imo.

That's what I'm saying, yes. Like there's some OBVIOUS signs when you can go for the kiss on the first date/go for it on the first date if it's going super well, but usually the first date is really just for checking out of they're similar in person to what they are online. Second date shows clear interest/compatibility in person, so you should feel more comfortable going for the kiss on that.

I agree that second date, third date latest should be when you go for the kiss though. I'd say halfway through the second date, don't save it for the end of it.

 

[EloquentM]

Holy shit I was reading this girls profile and her profile basically described me and my ambitions and likes. Then I scrolled to the top and she has a 90% match rating. Holy shit focusing everything on her now. Eff all these other unimportant conversations.

 

[hepburn3d]

Met my wife through online dating.

Before online dating I'd met a lot of nice people and tried dating a few girls I met through university and stuff. I just never had strong feelings for any of them, went through a lot of my life thinking I had an inability to like someone a lot.

When I met my wife I realized she was all those girls best pieces put together. I'd of never met her without going online as she lived about an hour away.

Really glad I did it. It's got pros and cons, depending on whether your a male / female looking for a male / female. As a male looking for a female I found it worked well. My friend looking for a male as a female gets a lot idiots who just want to use it as another way to hook up. They ruin it as they go all out on the lie pretending to be someone else. My male friends looking for males sometimes feel the same way to.

 

[fuzzyset]

Holy shit I was reading this girls profile and her profile basically described me and my ambitions and likes. Then I scrolled to the top and she has a 90% match rating. Holy shit focusing everything on her now. Eff all these other unimportant conversations.

That's great, but don't get too caught up in her already!

That's what I'm saying, yes. Like there's some OBVIOUS signs when you can go for the kiss on the first date/go for it on the first date if it's going super well, but usually the first date is really just for checking out of they're similar in person to what they are online. Second date shows clear interest/compatibility in person, so you should feel more comfortable going for the kiss on that.

I agree that second date, third date latest should be when you go for the kiss though. I'd say halfway through the second date, don't save it for the end of it.

A lot of girls are still timid about meeting people from the Internet as well, which is understandable. I didn't kiss the girl I've been seeing on the first date (for a variety of reason, partly because I wasn't sure how people in Hong Kong felt about PDA). Now, I'm having one of the best physical relationships I've ever had with her.

Don't live by hard rules when it comes to dating. Every girl is different and full of surprises. Exception: don't message more than twice without a response. That shit's crazy.

 

[Saiyan-Rox]

Never ventured into the off topic gaf before lol

Anyway tbh i've tried Pof before and only resulted into 1 date over the years which never worked out at all that was 2 years ago and if i'm honest never been in a relationship myself which sucks!!

trying OKC now just to see what the craic is but myself with a major lack of self esteem and confidence i doubt it'll work. messaged a girl on there now who had a high percentage about the same as me so guess see what happens.

 

[woodchuck]

Holy shit I was reading this girls profile and her profile basically described me and my ambitions and likes. Then I scrolled to the top and she has a 90% match rating. Holy shit focusing everything on her now. Eff all these other unimportant conversations.

Would advise against that. Of course she sounds great on paper, but you need to keep all your options open. It's not like she's on the other end focusing all her attention on you.

 

[Deleted member 10571]

Worked for me!

And me!

Edit oh god first page and I don't have a gif at hand.

 

[Kilrogg]

Holy shit I was reading this girls profile and her profile basically described me and my ambitions and likes. Then I scrolled to the top and she has a 90% match rating. Holy shit focusing everything on her now. Eff all these other unimportant conversations.

Don't. I mean, do contact her, by all means, but just because you look like soulmates on OKC doesn't mean she will definitely respond or that she is right for you/you are right for her.

I know because everytime I see someone who seems to get all the right notes I never get a response (so far).

 

[y2dvd]

I'd say kiss on the first date if it feels right. If I can tell she's digging me, I'll go for it. For instance, this weekend at a lounge, I walked up to some stranger and started talking to her. I can see it in her eyes and the way she was touching my cheeks and allowing me to physically get close to her that she was into me. So I just told her I was going to kiss her before the end of the night. Later into the conversation, I just went for it and we're making out within 15 minutes of talking and I got her number.

Granted, it wasn't a first date of sorts, but it still applies. If the chemistry is there, go for it. If not, then I'll just give a peck on the cheek at the end of the night.

 

[EloquentM]

That's great, but don't get too caught up in her already!

Don't mistake my crazed enthusiasm for genuine enthusiasm. I'm still doing this whole thing for fun and laughs.

Would advise against that. Of course she sounds great on paper, but you need to keep all your options open. It's not like she's on the other end focusing all her attention on you.

Lol I was kidding

Don't. I mean, do contact her, by all means, but just because you look like soulmates on OKC doesn't mean she will definitely respond or that she is right for you/you are right for her.

I know because everytime I see someone who seems to get all the right notes I never get a response (so far).

Dammit GAF.

 

[dan2026]

Please somebody tell me its possible to get somewhere with these online dating sites.

I send message after carefully thought out message and get nothing back.
It feels like I am throwing rocks into a black hole.

Its making me feel sick and depressed.

 

[EloquentM]

Please somebody tell me its possible to get somewhere with these online dating sites.

I send message after carefully thought out message and get nothing back.
It feels like I am throwing rocks into a black hole.

Its making me feel sick and depressed.

It's a numbers game just like dating in real life. If you stick with it you'll be fine (unless you're psycho). I talk to a lot of girls on these sites but nothing comes into fruition so don't be so hung ho. Just be patient.

 

[dan2026]

It's a numbers game just like dating in real life. If you stick with it you'll be fine (unless you're psycho). I talk to a lot of girls on these sites but nothing comes into fruition so don't be so hung ho. Just be patient.

Thanks, I'll keep at it.

Does anyone have any advice on what to send in a first message?
I have read a ton of things (some contradictory) but the more I send, the more I worry I am sending the wrong things.

 

[GK86]

Please somebody tell me its possible to get somewhere with these online dating sites.

I send message after carefully thought out message and get nothing back.
It feels like I am throwing rocks into a black hole.

Its making me feel sick and depressed.

I'm in the same boat. A month has gone by and Nada. I'm not even talking about a date, I'm talking about getting a convo going. I'm about to close up the account.

 

[Halcyon]

Please somebody tell me its possible to get somewhere with these online dating sites.

I send message after carefully thought out message and get nothing back.
It feels like I am throwing rocks into a black hole.

Its making me feel sick and depressed.

Yea it's basically a numbers game.

I don't spend a whole lot of time sending interesting relevant messages. I'm not going to jump through hoops just to get the chance to talk to someone.

I just say something about their profile like "where do you work out" or "i like (band) too"

Then just get conversations going with the ones that reply.

I'm basically banking on my looks though to get most of the stuff started.

 

[freshair]

Thanks, I'll keep at it.

Does anyone have any advice on what to send in a first message?
I have read a ton of things (some contradictory) but the more I send, the more I worry I am sending the wrong things.

Definitely keep it short and simple. No one likes to read a whole paragraph in their first message.

For my first messages, I like to mention something about their profile, follow it with a short anecdote / how I relate to it, introduce myself and ask a follow-up question. 3/4 sentences max.

Been working well for me so far. Also your profile needs to be fleshed out and interesting with relevant pictures. Your messages can only get you so far, but if your profile/pictures aren't up to par, I don't think you'll get responses back. It's as much as making yourself interesting as it is having good pictures.

 

[potam]

Thanks, I'll keep at it.

Does anyone have any advice on what to send in a first message?
I have read a ton of things (some contradictory) but the more I send, the more I worry I am sending the wrong things.

Here is potam's flawless guide (that never works):

Just be like "hey, what's up?" If the girl is remotely interested, she'll respond. If not, oh well.

Or, it could be that my I missed out on my soulmate because I send lazy messages.

 

[EloquentM]

The only peeve I have about women on OKC is that if you flag me as you "like me" don't ignore my messages when I actually send one. It's a waste of both our time.

 

[electricshake]

Here is potam's flawless guide (that never works):

Just be like "hey, what's up?" If the girl is remotely interested, she'll respond. If not, oh well.

Or, it could be that my I missed out on my soulmate because I send lazy messages.

I really hate messages like that. At least make a bit of an effort in starting a conversation.

 

[dan2026]

I really hate messages like that. At least make a bit of an effort in starting a conversation.

I think I put too much effort in. I find it so difficult to write a short, catchy, relavent massage.