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[Ozzy Onya A2Z]

Cafes are starting to sell deconstructed coffee. Yes, you heard that correctly. It is served on a paddle (of course), in three separate cups — one with espresso, one with milk and one with water. So far the reaction to the new trend has been far from positive.

Coffee lover Jamila Rizvi posted a picture of the concoction on Facebook, sharing her disappointment. “Sorry Melbourne but no. No no no no no,” she said. “Hipsterism has gone too far when your coffee comes deconstructed. I just waited almost 20 minutes for an actual cup before realising it would not be forthcoming. I wanted a coffee. Not a science experiment. I prefer to drink my beverages out of crockery and not beakers."

source

Melbourne just no.

Update:
Melbourne, now with more hipster...introducing the rainbow coffee:

Source

The city is getting pretty experimental when it comes to our caffeine comforts and now rainbow coffee is becoming a thing.

The new drink certainly takes coffee art to another level, with reds, blues and greens swirling around the coffee mug, but it might be an acquired taste, as it’s not exactly coffee you’re getting.

 

[Hilbert]

If you are waiting 20 minutes and don't even know for what, that is kind of on you.

 

[insert_username_here]

I think its cool you can control the strength of your coffee, it's not like all other coffee shops stopped doing it the old fashioned way. Also if your sitting there for 20 mins and you don't notice everyone is getting a plank with beakers than I can't even.

 

[Volimar]

If you are waiting 20 minutes and don't even know for what, that is kind of on you.

Still a shorter line than Starbucks.

 

[Hilbert]

Still a shorter line than Starbucks.

Not in seattle! We can just go one block and find another!

 

[Slayven]

So the fact you are doing the labor means the coffee is cheaper right?

 

[KAP151]

Thank Christ I dont drink coffee.

Its one thing to get craft beers etc on a paddle, but a 'deconstructed' coffee?

Fuck that noise.

Edit: And a 20 min wait? Nope, nope, nope.

 

[arts&crafts]

Not in seattle! We can just go one block and find another!

5 Starbucks on my 10 min walk to work in Toronto. When there is a line at one I just move to the next.

 

[Stinkles]

Not in seattle! We can just go one block and find another!

A whole block? North of 50th maybe...

 

[Fusebox]

Lol, fuckin Melbourne wankers.

 

[Yaboosh]

Isn't that completely missing the point of what deconstructing a dish even means?

 

[Ozzy Onya A2Z]

So the fact you are doing the labor means the coffee is cheaper right?

No chance in hell mate, good coffee in Melbourne can cost as much as a lunch. I just make it at home.

EDIT: I'm thinking this guy is even going WTF!?!

 

[remz]

New trend... lmfao. More like gimmick menu item at one cafe, posted to social networking to maximise outrage. Well probably, seeing as the woman that posted it left out where she got it and what exactly it was.

you can get a takeaway coffe premade for you by an artisan barista or whatever the fuck at every single street corner in melbourne- if she didn't want the gimmicky create-a-coffee why order it?

this thing is really dumb manufactured drama

 

[brianmcdoogle]

I'm a big fan of deconstructed cookies. I love snorting flour on the flight table, and grinding my own cocoa chips into injectable dust!

 

[Oppo]

hah.

this is like when you order a salad and get the ingredients for a salad.

anyways shouldn't it technically be a glass of microfoam milk which would have to be steamed which collapses quickly which is why you make a latte the way you do which is just one of many reasons this is dumb?

 

[FUME5]

Watch people from Perth start to complain we don't have something similar.

 

[smurfx]

will new hipster restaurants give you all the raw ingredients and have you make all the food?

 

[Frodo]

I wouldn't wait 20 minutes for it, but I quite like the idea, to be honest, IF I’m planning to sit down and consume the coffee at the shop.

Watered down coffee is the worst.

 

[ZeroX03]

Ahh, a good old visit to the trendy cafe. Classic Melbourne.

 

[Ventara]

She's clearly not hip enough. Get with the times or get left behind.

*takes bite out of an orange while sipping water from a beaker*

 

[Magilla]

I'm a big fan of deconstructed cookies. I love snorting flour on the flight table, and grinding my own cocoa chips into injectable dust!

.

 

[akira28]

Isn't that completely missing the point of what deconstructing a dish even means?

it does kind of force re-examination and ridicule of a once familiar thing.

 

[WickedCobra03]

Wow, that is on a new level of deconstruction. Coca-Cola, can I start constructing my own Coke from raw ingredients?

Also, I have heard some shit about Australia.

 

[Piston Hyundai]

.

"I like to make it in my mouth."

 

[remz]

It's not like they're asking you to extract the espresso yourself

 

[FLEABttn]

I find it hard to believe she didn't know exactly what she was ordering.

 

[subrock]

I had one of these years ago

 

[grimmiq]

So she didn't wait 20mins for the coffee, the coffee came out on the paddle and she just sat there for 20mins for the server to bring out a mug to drink it from?

 

[Yaboosh]

I find it hard to believe she didn't know exactly what she was ordering.

She was probably hired by them to make the post.

 

[bundaberg]

Thank Christ I dont drink coffee.

Its one thing to get craft beers etc on a paddle, but a 'deconstructed' coffee?

Fuck that noise.

Edit: And a 20 min wait? Nope, nope, nope.

this is the only coffee available in melbourne so you're lucky you don't!

 

[demon]

Thank Christ I dont drink coffee.

Its one thing to get craft beers etc on a paddle, but a 'deconstructed' coffee?

Fuck that noise.

Edit: And a 20 min wait? Nope, nope, nope.

Thank god you don't drink coffee otherwise you would be forced to do so in a deconstructed fashion at this one place in Australia.

Also there was not 20 minute wait. She waited 20 minutes before realizing she wasn't getting a cup.

 

[lightus]

Thank Christ I dont drink coffee.

Its one thing to get craft beers etc on a paddle, but a 'deconstructed' coffee?

Fuck that noise.

Edit: And a 20 min wait? Nope, nope, nope.

What is this even attempting to imply? It's not like all coffee drinkers suddenly have to buy coffee from this specific place from now on.

Edit: appears I'm a bit late in pointing this out. Point remains the same though.

 

[shink]

20 fucking minutes to get a coffee you can't even take with you. I would have refunded that bitch and GTFO. I love Melbourne but I agree with this lady, Melbourne just no.

The coffee didn't take 20 mins. She waited 20 mins for a cup that she thought was coming.

 

[remz]

The coffee didn't take 20 mins. She waited 20 mins for a cup that she thought was coming.

Lol, omg. and the cafe is the thing that's meant to be embarrassing here

 

[Ozzy Onya A2Z]

She was probably hired by them to make the post.

Likely pulling a "new coke" as it's coined.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

Deconstructed omelette anyone?

 

[lastplayed]

Don't see how it's much different to getting a pot of tea and a cup of milk.

 

[HolyCheck]

Likely pulling a "new coke" as it's coined.

I think we can all just use "new shapes" in Aus now right? As the thing to say?

 

[jstripes]

I get it, but honestly, it's stupid.

 

[Dennis]

ahahahahahahah we have reached peak wankery

It is all downhill from here.

Well, you know, in Australia it would be uphill.

 

[Already Torn]

Thank Christ I dont drink coffee.

Its one thing to get craft beers etc on a paddle, but a 'deconstructed' coffee?

Fuck that noise.

Edit: And a 20 min wait? Nope, nope, nope.

If you don't drink coffee, you're still worse off than this poor woman tbh

 

[CarpeDeezNutz]

Fuck that

 

[Dennis]

Time to deconstruct the tip.

 

[23qwerty]

is there water in that coffee part of it? not really deconstructed #fail

 

[Soltype]

Postmodernism has gone too far.

 

[BanShunsaku]

I liked my coffees deconstructed before it was trendy

 

[Alcotholic]

Coffee culture is absolutely hilarious to me. It sometimes goes farther than beer and wine culture. I have a friend who is a barista and coffee maniac. She brings a travel air press with her wherever she goes so she can make coffee no matter the situation. And goes out of her way to try different roasts and blends. I love her, but my god.
I have a feeling she would be into this.

 

[wenis]

If you are waiting 20 minutes and don't even know for what, that is kind of on you.

Boom. An order of coffee should take exactly 1 minute. Grab the cup, pour it out, hand it over. A minute is probably too much time.

 

[Carton]

Boom. An order of coffee should take exactly 1 minute. Grab the cup, pour it out, hand it over. A minute is probably too much time.

This is espresso coffee. It needs to be ground, packed, extracted and the milk (if applicable) heated. There are only 3 arms to a standard industrial espresso machine, so it's not going to be that quick unless you're the only one in line.

 

[linsivvi]

^^^
And it didn't take 20 minutes. OP is wrong.