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[LucidMomentum]

I knoooow, but since he's a coworker (who is engaged), I need to not make him uncomfortable with my dumb obvious crush so that we can be work buddies lol.

Just keep it professional and you should be fine. Lots of people at work have work friends that they hang out with and such.

If you ever meet his SO don't make it seem like you're trying to wrench him away from her though or that could get awkward.

 

[Leeness]

Just keep it professional and you should be fine. Lots of people at work have work friends that they hang out with and such.

If you ever meet his SO don't make it seem like you're trying to wrench him away from her though or that could get awkward.

Yes! I don't want to do that. I doubt I'll ever meet her anyway, but yeah.

I just think my obvious crush is way too obvious lol. I do just want to be friends and need to get over it, but I think I'm probably too transparent right now... In any case, I'm a bit busy the next couple of days so I can dial back a bit...

 

[jimmypython]

Nah, I don't think your ethnicity should be that big of a problem. See if you can get the opinion of some female friends. Sometimes the pics we think look cool aren't as hot as we think they are. It might just be the case with your pics. Your clothes and style can also be a factor. Make sure you're wearing clothes that compliment your body type and stylish.

Race has never been a huge problem for me on other dating sites. I get responses as long as I can send something first - tinder doesn't have this option.

 

[hydrophilic attack]

well i replied saying that i meant a romantic date. to let her know that i had realized that that was a rejection, i said that that didn't sound like the reply i had been hoping for, but that that's ok, it was worth a shot to ask. my question was pretty lighthearted from the start, and i hope this reply came off as lighthearted too

on the 1% chance that she asked because she actually wanted a date date, that should still leave her a chance to say that i misunderstood. that's probably as straightened up and clear as this situation could be

 

[LucidMomentum]

Yes! I don't want to do that. I doubt I'll ever meet her anyway, but yeah.

I just think my obvious crush is way too obvious lol. I do just want to be friends and need to get over it, but I think I'm probably too transparent right now... In any case, I'm a bit busy the next couple of days so I can dial back a bit...

Yep, sounds like a good idea. Take a step back and then don't come on too strong next time you hang out.

well i replied saying that i meant a romantic date. to let her know that i had realized that that was a rejection, i said that that didn't sound like the reply i had been hoping for, but that that's ok, it was worth a shot to ask. my question was pretty lighthearted from the start, and i hope this reply came off as lighthearted too

on the 1% chance that she asked because she actually wanted a date date, that should still leave her a chance to say that i misunderstood. that's probably as straightened up and clear as this situation could be

That's about all you could do. It's up to her now and you've at least made your intentions known. Seems like you covered all your bases but don't be too upset if it doesn't turn into anything.

 

[Leeness]

Yep, sounds like a good idea. Take a step back and then don't come on too strong next time you hang out.

👍 Watch as this socially outcast alien attempts friendship with a ~man~! Lol. I won't bother you guys much with this, don't worry.

 

[Count Dookkake]

When did this become Friendship Age?

 

[Ozorov]

well i replied saying that i meant a romantic date. to let her know that i had realized that that was a rejection, i said that that didn't sound like the reply i had been hoping for, but that that's ok, it was worth a shot to ask. my question was pretty lighthearted from the start, and i hope this reply came off as lighthearted too

on the 1% chance that she asked because she actually wanted a date date, that should still leave her a chance to say that i misunderstood. that's probably as straightened up and clear as this situation could be

Wait, what did she responded in the first place?

 

[hydrophilic attack]

Wait, what did she responded in the first place?

post 8935

 

[Ozorov]

post 8935

Alright. Do you guys e-mail each other?

Just a little curiosa: Apparently saying "I didn't see your message"-type of lies is the most common one in todays society.

 

[Salamando]

post 8935

You asked a girl out on a date - using the word date - and she didn't say yes. Is there really anything left to dissect?

If she was busy, the answer you'd want is "Yes, but I'm busy this weekend. How about next week?"

 

[Haloid1177]

All this talk about a work buddy and I'm here trying to avoid my work friend who suddenly wants an open marriage from her husband who I also work with.

Yikes.

 

[always crazy bacon]

Race has never been a huge problem for me on other dating sites. I get responses as long as I can send something first - tinder doesn't have this option.

So, stop using Tinder. Simple solution no?

 

[gaiages]

When did this become Friendship Age?

There's no friendship age, no wants to make one. This is the closest thing to it. It's really not the biggest deal.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

well i replied saying that i meant a romantic date. to let her know that i had realized that that was a rejection, i said that that didn't sound like the reply i had been hoping for, but that that's ok, it was worth a shot to ask. my question was pretty lighthearted from the start, and i hope this reply came off as lighthearted too

on the 1% chance that she asked because she actually wanted a date date, that should still leave her a chance to say that i misunderstood. that's probably as straightened up and clear as this situation could be

You really didn't need anything after "I meant a romantic date." The rest scuppered any chance you had of salvaging it.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

well i replied saying that i meant a romantic date. to let her know that i had realized that that was a rejection, i said that that didn't sound like the reply i had been hoping for, but that that's ok, it was worth a shot to ask. my question was pretty lighthearted from the start, and i hope this reply came off as lighthearted too

on the 1% chance that she asked because she actually wanted a date date, that should still leave her a chance to say that i misunderstood. that's probably as straightened up and clear as this situation could be

Come on dude. There's no such as date date. She knew what you meant. Don't beg, maintain some self respect.

 

[LucidMomentum]

👍 Watch as this socially outcast alien attempts friendship with a ~man~! Lol. I won't bother you guys much with this, don't worry.

Eh, it's as close to dating as you'll seem to want to get so it's interesting.

When did this become Friendship Age?

When Leeness has trouble even getting to the friendship stage lol.

All this talk about a work buddy and I'm here trying to avoid my work friend who suddenly wants an open marriage from her husband who I also work with.

Yikes.

Seems like a nice chat between you all might help. And by chat, I mean threesome.

Speaking of work friends, the Adderall downing and super talkative network engineer who latched onto me as someone who would listen to him rant got fired today. I don't normally wish it on anyone but he seriously bugged me.

As for non work friends, sushi & wine tasting with "maybe" girl went well. I did talk / flirt with a couple of the single girls there but nothing really stuck as most of them were on a girls night out and proceeded to get wasted.

Friend and I had a good time and picked up some of the sake we liked and played Pokémon Go in the park for a bit to sober up.

I found out offhand that's she's got some biological issues that either affect her ability to have kids or to have sex, she didn't elaborate far enough to make it clear though. Might explain why she doesn't seem to be looking for a relationship.

Ended the night with a kiss but this is probably the most comfortable "friend zoning" I've ever been through. If she's going to keep coming up with stuff to do and I'm not too busy I'm fine with it though, so I guess it's back to a mutual friendship.

 

[Haloid1177]

Seems like a nice chat between you all might help. And by chat, I mean threesome.

She's been wanting to go out without the husband for a while now and I just keep making up excuses not to go. She's genuinely helped me get myself out there more and made me more social which I'm super appreciative of but this is kinda just getting weird.

And then on the other hand a friend I'm kinda into told me her parents told her that she should date me which has fucked that up in all sorts of ways with awkwardness. It's been a complicated week.

 

[hydrophilic attack]

You really didn't need anything after "I meant a romantic date." The rest scuppered any chance you had of salvaging it.

probably

but it was probably a lost cause anyway so not worth worrying about

Come on dude. There's no such as date date. She knew what you meant. Don't beg, maintain some self respect.

um, where did i beg

she asked a question, i replied. i'm leaving it at that. quite a ways from begging imo

 

[names2hard4you]

The moment someone asks me "what kind of date" I meant after asking them out, I'll just say the calendar date. That will teach them.

Yeah man, either this girl is playing dumb or... Idk. I wouldn't want to think someone would legitimately not understand what something like what you said meant, unless English wasn't their first language. And even then idk.

 

[jimmypython]

Yeah I agree. I once asked a girl with no dating experience out.

"I'd like to take you out to a nice dinner"
"that'd be great!"
"so it's a date"
"what? lol"

This still doesn't make too much sense to me but I'll let it pass.....

but hydrophilic attack, you have already said it was a date...I don't know how much more clearer could you be haha.

So, stop using Tinder. Simple solution no?

yeah i guess you are right. it's just my competitive personality makes me feel frustrated.

 

[FIREKNIGHT2029]

Race has never been a huge problem for me on other dating sites. I get responses as long as I can send something first - tinder doesn't have this option.

I see what you mean. Yep, it's one of the main reasons I'm not impressed with Tinder. It's hard to show off your personality on Tinder. Everything is about your looks and it seems nothing else matters when it comes to getting ladies there 😕

 

[hydrophilic attack]

I mean it's just so weird, she has been giving me lots of sings

We went on a picnic one time, and another time we went ice-skating. Though the word date wasn't used those times. We've also flirted while drunk and she said she liked my hair before.

 

[LucidMomentum]

She's been wanting to go out without the husband for a while now and I just keep making up excuses not to go. She's genuinely helped me get myself out there more and made me more social which I'm super appreciative of but this is kinda just getting weird.

And then on the other hand a friend I'm kinda into told me her parents told her that she should date me which has fucked that up in all sorts of ways with awkwardness. It's been a complicated week.

Maybe the dude is a cuck and you're missing out?

Or maybe I'm just egging you on so I have more forum stories to read.

Seems like she's falling for you and may not realize that it's just a work relationship on your end.

 

[names2hard4you]

I mean it's just so weird, she has been giving me lots of sings

We went on a picnic one time, and another time we went ice-skating. Though the word date wasn't used those times. We've also flirted while drunk and she said she liked my hair before.

Being the son of a hair stylist and all, I get compliments on my hair every day. If I took those as a declaration of love or interest from people, I would be swimming in partners.

You two went out multiple times, never kissed, or expressed any kind of feelings for each other from what I am getting here. You two are friends.

 

[hydrophilic attack]

Well, then it's better that I asked her so I can focus on other girls now that I know she's not interested

I'm old-fashioned like that, don't like to flirt with several girls at once

And I never style my hair and think it looks pretty awful right now.

 

[names2hard4you]

Well, then it's better that I asked her so I can focus on other girls now that I know she's not interested

I'm old-fashioned like that, don't like to flirt with several girls at once

And I never style my hair and think it looks pretty awful right now.

That's perfectly fine. The problem here is that you took too long to say those words. At some point in time she might have been interested in you, maybe that hair comment was legitimately her trying to get on your good side, but now she doesn't seem interested anymore.

Let this be a lesson, don't keep going out with a girl, have feelings for her and not tell her. You will just be setting yourself up for disappointment later on.

 

[Leeness]

There's no friendship age, no wants to make one. This is the closest thing to it. It's really not the biggest deal.

Eh, it's as close to dating as you'll seem to want to get so it's interesting.

😘😘

When Leeness has trouble even getting to the friendship stage lol.

Thanks bro lol. Nah. I know I'm a weird alien trying to simulate human feelings haha. Anyway, I backed off today haha.

 

[Johnny Cage In The Shower]

What's a nice way to tell this girl that I had fun but I'm not interested in pursuing anything further with her

Just ghost her man, that apparently is what the apropriate thing to do these days here with the damn kids. Actually don't. Don't ghost anyone, ever.

If you went out on just one date, keep it super short and simple.

"Hi *insert name here*, The lawn bowling (or whatever you guys did on the first date) was fun the other night, it was really nice meeting you... if I have to be perfectly honest, I don't see us as a match. Best wishes."

 

[gaiages]

Just ghost her man, that apparently is what the apropriate thing to do these days with you here damn kids. Actually don't. Don't ghost anyone, ever.

Look, when I get unsoliticed shit from guys after a message or two because I'm in an open relationship so clearly I want to have sex with THEM (hint: no) cuz I'll have sex with anyone, they really don't deserve a response other than being ghosted.

It's a common misconception (open relationship=sex with everyone) and I don't have the patience to educate assholes.

 

[artsi]

I was taking the older girl for a walk, we left from her house and as we got back I kissed her goodbye like I usually do. This one was pretty long and intense.

Then I noticed her teenage daughter (who I haven't actually met yet) was looking from the window like what the fuck, I just couldn't hold my laughter lol.

She wasn't as amused because I was still supposed to be a secret but... ¯\_(&#12484_/¯

 

[Xun]

Look, when I get unsoliticed shit from guys after a message or two because I'm in an open relationship so clearly I want to have sex with THEM (hint: no) cuz I'll have sex with anyone, they really don't deserve a response other than being ghosted.

It's a common misconception (open relationship=sex with everyone) and I don't have the patience to educate assholes.

Call me old fashioned, but I find open relationships fascinating.

I don't think I could ever do it.

 

[names2hard4you]

Call me old fashioned, but I find open relationships fascinating.

I don't think I could ever do it.

To tell the truth, same here.

 

[Johnny Cage In The Shower]

Look, when I get unsoliticed shit from guys after a message or two because I'm in an open relationship so clearly I want to have sex with THEM (hint: no) cuz I'll have sex with anyone, they really don't deserve a response other than being ghosted.

It's a common misconception (open relationship=sex with everyone) and I don't have the patience to educate assholes.

Unless you're going on dates with these guys, sharing a drink, small talk, laughs and then they drop you off at the metro station or whatever And then they'll never hear from you again, then you're not ghosting.... You're simply stopping conversation because you don't like where it is going. I bolded the key words in your post.

 

[Scotch]

Look, when I get unsoliticed shit from guys after a message or two because I'm in an open relationship so clearly I want to have sex with THEM (hint: no) cuz I'll have sex with anyone, they really don't deserve a response other than being ghosted.

I wouldn't call that ghosting. That's just ignoring someone.

 

[gaiages]

Call me old fashioned, but I find open relationships fascinating.

I don't think I could ever do it.

I mainly do it because I sorta don't like sex much and my SO has to get release somehow

Then again he has never done anything with the open status so it's like we're barely in an open relationship anyway lolol

Unless you're going on dates with these guys, sharing a drink, small talk, laughs and then they drop you off at the metro station or whatever And then they'll never hear from you again, then you're not ghosting.... You're simply stopping conversation because you don't like where it is going. I bolded the key words in your post.

I wouldn't call that ghosting. That's just ignoring someone.

Yeah, y'all are right. There's a few out there that think that's ghosting for whatever reason, though. >.> That's probably a bit... extreme, though.

 

[stn]

@Wurst

Amazing, man. Your situation makes me think that there is always hope no matter the circumstances. And I don't mean that to be condescending, just that I really thought you had no chance after I read your post and gave my reply. Good stuff!

 

[hydrophilic attack]

That's perfectly fine. The problem here is that you took too long to say those words. At some point in time she might have been interested in you, maybe that hair comment was legitimately her trying to get on your good side, but now she doesn't seem interested anymore.

Let this be a lesson, don't keep going out with a girl, have feelings for her and not tell her. You will just be setting yourself up for disappointment later on.

fair enough

luckily i haven't really had actual feelings for anyone since i was 16

this girl is really pretty and very sweet and kind (though a bit too conservative in some regards) but it's not like i'm devastated or anything

 

[ZackieChan]

Just ghost her man, that apparently is what the apropriate thing to do these days here with the damn kids. Actually don't. Don't ghost anyone, ever.

If you went out on just one date, keep it super short and simple.

"Hi *insert name here*, The lawn bowling (or whatever you guys did on the first date) was fun the other night, it was really nice meeting you... if I have to be perfectly honest, I don't see us as a match. Best wishes."

Ghost early and ghost often, that's my motto

 

[always crazy bacon]

Ghost early and ghost often, that's my motto

Thanks but no thanks, block and delete. Ghosting takes too long.

 

[M52B28]

Ugh.

I've been going through some really tough times with my OCD and anxiety, so I've been pretty clammed up for the past couple days.

The girl I've been seeing to invited me to her​ place on Monday. She didn't think her roommate would be home, so it surprised us both. Now, this is the first time I met her roommate, so it was kind of awkward, especially she wasn't aware of her bringing me over.

Anyways, the roommate leaves and I was just so weirded out by the whole experience and that's because the roommate's controlling and mentally abusive boyfriend barged in right when I got there.

Despite​ us both having a great time, I felt strange, so after a quite a bit of time with her, I told her I had to leave, and I didn't even give a hug or kiss. Nothing.

After that, on Tuesday my OCD and anxiety started to peak, so I didn't really talk to her, and I kind of left her to catch the bus, though she decided to despite us usually going back together. I was at the point where I was severely stressed by the activity going on in the studio, so I left a bit after her. I pretty much ignored her the majority of the time we were in the studio. She knew something was wrong, but didn't mention anything.

I sent her a text that night to tell her that I was so sorry for the way I'd been acting, and I explained to her everything. She said she understood, etc.

Today, I saw her and decided to join her for her artist's critique for her paintings. I did a small presentation of my work, and she commented and said that she noticed I did not want to be there at all.

Things kind of spiraled after that and I tried to open up around her and her friends, but I couldn't really handle it, so I pretty much went to separate parts of the studio to take care of the various works I had going on.

Later today, a guy that hovers around us two while we work asked her out and she left with him.

She couldn't even look me in the eye when I was with her. I was completing a major project that I was creating for her, and she just gave me a quiet bye and a nervous smile before she left.

I have a feeling that I seriously messed up something. The look she gave me when leaving no, it was like she was scared.

Whenever this problem with my OCD and anxiety comes around, I start to get depressed, quiet and dismissive.

Well... I guess this is what happens when you act like an ass. This has caused me to have so many failed relationship.

I feel like shit.

::: If this reads weird, I've had vodka. Oh well...

 

[always crazy bacon]

Your problems are not dating problems but life problems caused by your mental illness. I'm confident your reading people actions wrong and your view is not so clear right now. This isn't the topic to get advice for that. Hope you get the help you need.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Why block or ghost? Just tell the person you're not interested.

Treat people how you'd want to be treated by a potential date/person you like. If you're OK with someone ghosting you or randomly blocking you after what felt like a good date, then do you, but don't bitch about that shit later on.

 

[Bananajama]

Been dating someone for about two months

Seen her moody side 3 times; ranting and raving after just the slightest disagreement.
I try to calm her but it just continues. So much so I've learnt on the 3rd time to stay quiet.

Even then that doesn't really work

Gonna have to end it.... 4 times?

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Been dating someone for about two months

Seen her moody side 3 times; ranting and raving after just the slightest disagreement.
I try to calm her but it just continues. So much so I've learnt on the 3rd time to stay quiet.

Even then that doesn't really work

Gonna have to end it.... 4 times?

Red flags everywhere.

Bail.

 

[M52B28]

Why block or ghost? Just tell the person you're not interested.

Treat people how you'd want to be treated by a potential date/person you like. If you're OK with someone ghosting you or randomly blocking you after what felt like a good date, then do you, but don't bitch about that shit later on.

I haven't done any of this intentionally. I'm just not well. I feel horrible, especially since I care about her so much. What I did definitely damaged her image of me. I'm not going to see her for a week, but I'm just going to sit down with her and tell her everything once I'm done with my break.

It's not that I'm trying to complain about it. To be fair, I deserve the treatment, especially after getting back to myself for the moment that I have this night.

Your problems are not dating problems but life problems caused by your mental illness. I'm confident your reading people actions wrong and your view is not so clear right now. This isn't the topic to get advice for that. Hope you get the help you need.

I seriously hope she doesn't think I'm just some broken and bipolar guy. I get quite a bit of love from the people within her friend circle, and they've seen me like this and it worries them.

There's not much for me to do, but I think some distance is needed, so I'm glad for this break.

Man.. what a fucking mess I've made. Just terrible.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Remind me how long you've been seeing each other?

 

[M52B28]

Remind me how long you've been seeing each other?

Known her for a year and some more, but started to take interest in each other in August. Come the beginning of fall, that's when I really started to get to know her.

 

[always crazy bacon]

Been dating someone for about two months

Seen her moody side 3 times; ranting and raving after just the slightest disagreement.
I try to calm her but it just continues. So much so I've learnt on the 3rd time to stay quiet.

Even then that doesn't really work

Gonna have to end it.... 4 times?

Run, it's a symptom of much bigger problems and if you're already staying quiet to diffuse the situation then there's nothing you can do that she'll listen to. You don't need a partner that has anger issues, spoilt, entitled, controlling and short tempered.

 

[gaiages]

Been dating someone for about two months

Seen her moody side 3 times; ranting and raving after just the slightest disagreement.
I try to calm her but it just continues. So much so I've learnt on the 3rd time to stay quiet.

Even then that doesn't really work

Gonna have to end it.... 4 times?

What do you mean by moody? I'm probably bipolar so I can fly off the handle sometimes over what is essentially nothing, but I also calm down relatively quickly and apologize profusely, lol.

Or is this the mad for a week over leaving the toilet seat up kind of deal?

Either way, if you don't like it, then it's time to move on Likelihood is that this is a sign of bigger problems.