As someone who was super into Gwent in The Witcher 3, I was really excited for this, I never really did a lot with the closed betas, but noticed there were a lot of changes to the game, probably to make it a more fully fledged thing they could get money out of, which I get, but... yeah I don't know, I'm not sure if I like it, so before I get too bummed out I got some questions
Do I just accept that the cards they start you out with are just pure trash and do I have to get my ass surely whooped online to get more kegs and cards? Because I'm just trying to fool around in the Ai battle or challenges to wrap my mind around all the new systems, and I'm getting fucking stomped. Especially in challenge mode, where the first Norther Realms challenge can seemingly wipe the board of my cards with two of theirs and come out the other end with a 50+ score for the round.
I'm happy to try and help. The cards you start out with are restricting, that's for sure. But it has less to do with the cards and more about how and when to use them.
For example, I completed 3 of the Northern Realm challenges last night with the basic starter Northern Realms deck without a sweat -- I often had 2-3 cards leftover that I didn't need to play. The main difference is I had several dozen games of experience from the last closed beta -- it takes time to get to know the systems at play. More on this below.
A separate issue is getting stomped online. Right now a lot of people from the closed beta have a lot of free kegs. But the hidden matchmaking (hidden ELO score) was reset for EVERYONE. So everyone is starting at square zero even though some people are clearly more skilled and better equipped than others. This will take a few days until the matchmaking gets better at putting you with other beginners.
However, it's not just about cards. I was playing with the basic Northern Realms deck online and won 3 out of 3 matches with other players, some of them who had drawn or crafted non-starter cards. (Did lose once with Skellige basic deck before I switched to Northern Realms.) My friend is also playing with the starter decks and is doing really well online. He was in the top 10,000 in the closed beta but hasn't opened any of his kegs because he wants to see which factions he enjoys.
On top of that, is the AI just broken? I've played a few rounds in the quick AI battle and it just seems that the AI doesn't know when to stop. It will go card for card with me and lay down damn near their entire deck, and still whoop me, because like I said in the first point, it seems like all the starter decks suck.
I mean that may be annoying but I'm not sure I'd call it broken. There are reasons why the AI would keep playing cards. For example, if there was only a 4 point difference and the AI passes, then you would only need to play a relatively weak 5 point card to win the match.
Are there cards that are better suited to play first? Everything seems like they have an ability but that just makes it seem like every card is a waste to play first because there's nothing on the board for it to do anything to.
Yes, definitely. For example, in Northern Realms, the Hero card -- Foltest -- I often like to start by playing this card. Why? Well he buffs all the cards in your hand and deck by 1. He's not going to buff cards in the graveyard or cards already on the table. So I want to get that buff on as many units as possible, as early as possible.
He also lays down a 4-power unit on the board. This is now something my opponent often responds to, rather than passing.
For example, let's say they started the game. They play a 5-strength unit. I play my Foltest, which is only 4 strength. Then they play another 5-strength unit for a total of 10 strength.
Now you might think "Oh good I can still play a 7-strength unit and catch up!" This, in my play style at least, would be a mistake. Just pass. Lose the round on purpose. The opponent has burned 2 cards to win that first round vs your 1 AND now they have to play the first card on the new round. Furthermore, you added value to all your future cards. While your opponents cards (usually) are cleared. In other words, they wasted a card and 6 strength to win the first round. That will hurt them in the next two rounds.
Another easy case would be the Northern Realms Trebuchets. Every turn they attack the enemy and do 1 damage. If you expect this to be a long round, you want to put those out early so they do a lot of damage over time.
Northern Realms now also has cards with Armor. Generally speaking, putting those out early is pretty nice since they have some protection against attacks. Plus, you have cards like Redanian Calvary that can eat your own armor (or even enemy armor) to gain buffs, turning the defense to offense. There's another NR card that buffs units every turn as long as it has Armor on itself -- this is also a good one to play early-ish on in a round, so it can boost units nearby for many turns.
Am I just missing something here? Where do I start for real? I feel like the only option is going online but it just keeps going back to the seemingly underpowered decks I have compared to everything else and the idea of having real people destroy me instantly isn't all that encouraging.
I would avoid online for now until you get a handle on the challenges. I mean you might get lucky but I do agree it would be discouraging. I don't mean to be dismissive -- I was once at the same spot as you in the closed beta -- but I found the challenges too easy to the point of being boring, even with the starter decks. If I had to guess, I think you just need to play more challenges until little things start clicking. Like tiny euphorias -- some cards work really well together in ways that weren't immediately obvious.
My general advice would be to either try Northern Realms, just because that one the synergies are more straightforward, or just in general, try different faction's start decks.
For whatever reason just looking at this whole thing is bumming me out and I don't want it to, so I'd really hope I'm just missing some early thing that would help me get going.
The Mulligain phase is pretty important. Learning which cards aren't needed takes time and practice with the deck, and also getting to know your opponent's factions as well.